10. Scars

She hadn't been within five metres of him, alone, in three weeks.

When he was near her, he was silent. There seemed to always be somebody nearby; a maid, a guard, Lao, or Poppy. It took him a week-and-a-half to be able to walk again, and each night Toph would keep her fingertips pressed to the floor. Seventeen days had passed altogether until he was deemed well enough to return to work. She had felt him wrap the bandages around his torso on the day he was finally able to return to care for her, Lao had loudly and continually demanded that all the money he spent to acquire Zuko would not be wasted. Zuko was told that he was not to speak to Toph conversationally, only when he needed to respond to her queries, or it was vital to his care of her. Even when he did speak, the words were slurred for the first week back, one of the maids said it was because his jaw had been fractured and partially dislocated as a result of the beating.

Toph had to excuse herself for a while after hearing that.

This particular morning was one that Toph dreaded. Atop the tension of having Zuko so near to her with still no words having been exchanged, she was also to be bathed and dressed appropriately before gathering with five other noble daughters for a 'social' sit-down. She climbed slowly into the bathtub, she sighed as she let her shoulders sink below the scorching water, she let her eyes open and stared into nothing. She felt the stream caressing her face, she felt it dampening her hair, and should have been relaxing her. But the tension still swirled around her, and the fact that Zuko was about to enter the room did not aid her situation.

The door opened, and a maid walked in, Zuko followed in silence. The maid was cradling her left hand that was wrapped in a bandage, she has burnt herself in the kitchen while talking to her husband.

Zuko kept his eyes down as he approached the bath, outside of the door he was told to zip his lips and roll up his sleeves, he was to help her today. The nursing maid was an older woman, she was nice enough to everyone else, but to Zuko, she was indifferent. "She won't know it isn't me if ya don't talk." She had grumbled, patting the bandaged hand absently, "If she does ask ya a question, just ignore it. Though she should have been told that one day ya'd have to help her." She had deliberated for a moment, "Nah, just keep ya mouth shut for the time bein'. I will just start tryna fold tha laundry for Hiniu, I will be in the room, just at tha opposite end."

Zuko sat directly behind Toph, he knew that it was more than likely she had heard the entire exchange. His suspicions were confirmed as she rolled her shoulders and sat up somewhat in the bath- she turned her head slightly towards him, pausing for a while then facing straight ahead. He reached for a silken cloth that hung next to the bath, it was thin and smooth and as he dipped it into the water, he could practically feel the grooves of his fingerprints through the soaked fabric. Keeping his wrists below the water, he moved it towards her body, dragging it slowly across her exposed shoulder blades, colour spread from her neck, a bashful red glow. Zuko took a deep breath, her ears pricked at the sound of his exhale, he wanted to talk to her, just let her know that he hadn't spoken a word of her secret life. Surely she must have assumed that by now, he thought, she must just-

Beneath his fingers, he felt something he wasn't expecting.

The level and smoothness of her skin was compromised by a raised line, it was long and thin, but it was there. He couldn't recall seeing it when she had stripped the first morning of his care to her. He felt his brow furrow, he couldn't have been sure, but he thought he heard her whisper something to him.

"I wasn't always incredible."

His fingers slid over her skin, the hot water was nothing against his searing hands, he kept finding pieces of her body that seemed to fill in a puzzle. Tiny nicks and scratches, outlines and creases, all telling the story of how she came to teach herself to earthbend. How she learnt to fight, learnt to prevail. Scars. He felt immediately reconnected to her, as if space had done nothing, his mind argued not to let the cause of the separation be forgotten.

He breathed deeply again to steady his babbling conscience.

The water was up to his elbows now, as he massaged down her spine and back up the outside of her arms. He peered over her shoulder to the nursing maid at the other end of the large room, she was trying one handed to fold the sheets and sort the clothing, she was humming to herself- oblivious to Toph's keen hearing abilities.

Zuko took his chance.

"I never said a word." He whispered, barely sighing the words. His warm breath tickled Toph's ear, swishing the fallen strands over her collarbone.

"I knew you wouldn't." she mumbled back, trying to reel in the flushed feeling that spread over her face and chest, the maid turned towards them, silently watching for a moment. She waited until the nursing maid started humming again, "I would have visited."

Zuko knew she was referring to the weeks he was healing, "I knew you wouldn't." he said, knowing that even if the chance had risen, she would not have sought him out unless to ensure her secret life's safety.

"You weren't supposed to get hurt."

"You weren't supposed to get drunk enough to lose track of time." He hushed, he spent whole weeks alone, hearing the guards talk. Apparently, this was the first week she came home later and drunker than usual. Zuko automatically assumed it was to be rid of a maid, he being her 'babysitter'. Toph felt her skin cool dramatically, she felt guilt welling up pouring out of her ears, she wondered if people with sight could actually see what she was feeling, she wondered if guilt had a colour or a form, like fog and condensation apparently did.

If the feeling that was coming from her head was a substance like vapour, she could imagine it covering Zuko's hands, he would know she felt bad, surely. It was not her purpose to be late and cause his beating, it was never her intent for him to be harmed. Her words were hushed in shame, "I am sorry.", she never meant for him to actually follow, and she never thought he would return with her. Wait, he-… He could have ran, he could have been half a continent away by now. Why- "You could have fled before our return." She had decided to murmur the rest of her thoughts.

"I could have." He said back, his hand moved to her neck, circling and manipulating the skin.

She whispered impatiently at him, "Why didn't you?" Zuko's hands suddenly left the hot water, Toph felt the maid walking towards them and Zuko fetching a towel. Toph realised that she must have missed the exchange of the nursing maid telling Zuko bath time was over, she huffed in annoyance. I am going to hate today.

… … …

He couldn't understand why he was so suddenly being ushered to Lao's chambers. The guards would not say anything, not that he dared ask. His jaw had finally finished healing - and he was determined for it to stay so. When they had come to collect him, he was about to head to Toph's room to finish preparing her for her meeting with the other noblemen and noblewomen's daughters.

He could barely wait to see how she acted in a socially forced situation such as this one- if it was anything like the last time, well, he was trying to hide his smirk already.
There was an exchange of nods between the guards that escorted Zuko, and the two stationed at Lao's doors, the paper doors were slid open and Zuko could see Lao sitting behind a grand, dark-wood desk. A single candle sat atop it, it was large and coloured a deep green, the yellow flame danced. He was writing slowly with a long feather, the ink pot sat just to the right of it despite the fact he was left-handed. "Sit, maid Zuko." Was all he muttered, still writing and not even looking up to see who had entered. Zuko recognised the seal on the scroll her was replying to, the Earth Kingdom's royal administration, he had no idea that the Beifong's were so highly connected.

Zuko was trying to absorb as much information as he could about the room and Lao, he had not been this close to the man since becoming his servant. He sat in the chair before Lao, he felt the guards take a step back and flank him.

Lao spoke again, "Leave us, please." Zuko raised an eyebrow and the guards looked apprehensively between one another, Lao looked up, "Now."

They slowly backed away, still keeping their eyes on Zuko, who himself was surprised that Lao would want to be alone with him. Was it a test? He doubted it, but if this late-middle aged man was all that was standing in the way of Zuko's freedom- surely it could be done.

Zuko found himself planning his attack, his escape. He glanced across to the silhouettes of the guards waiting outside; a quick strike and he could be out the window before they even had a chance to get in. There was but one thing that had him hesitating.
How will I communicate to Toph to follow? Would I want her to?

Lao cleared his throat, Zuko realised he was staring at him, "I wouldn't go much further into those plans, maid. Since your little adventure, I have hired the most skilled archers and set them all around, you wouldn't make it past the wall."

Zuko didn't let his face give away his guilt- is he bluffing? Zuko hadn't heard about any new staff from those stationed around his hold- surely they would have said something… He glared at Lao, the older man slowly lowered his quill. "I have received this letter, it may be of some interest to you." He dropped his hand from his desk, opened his top draw and returned with an already undone scroll. "It is from your uncle."

Zuko's heart stopped as Lao waved the item back and forth, like it was a hypnotist's pendent. He spoke softly, "Your uncle is clever... It was addressed to my daughter, but of course that would have meant you would have read it to her, thereby discovering it was meant for you." Lao twirled the scroll around in his fingers, "It would have worked but the only person who ever writes to Toph is my own mother, and any fool can tell the difference between her elegant hand and your uncle's chicken-scratch." while there was no expression on Lao's face, his eyes appeared to be gleeful, "I am curious as to how he discovered your location... And to whom you now serve..."

Just kill him... Kill him now. Take the scroll and disappear.

"Why are you telling me this?" Zuko asked.

Lao stood, his hands folding behind his back as he strutted out from his desk and began pacing the room. Zuko stared straight ahead, he knew this was an intimidation tact. "There are coordinates in this. My whole life I have been surrounded by the military, and all that time has taught me to read for codes, find hidden messages. Now I personally would not be able to decipher this, not knowing much about your past together and such- but I feel this would be invaluable to you."

He was right. Zuko wanted that letter more than anything, but again he wondered why Lao was showing him this- it wasn't like Lao would grant him a pass to chase down those coordinates. But then another thought dawned on Zuko, what does Lao want in return for the letter?

He decided to ask outright, he was sick of all these Beifong games, "Why?"

"I have come to the end of requiring your services." Lao said, walking back into view, "I want you out of here- I want you to hightail it back to your uncle and those who you call family."

Zuko thought he was dreaming. He didn't speak, he was joyous beyond belief, but his suspicions were only heightened. "What do you want from me?" he growled.

"Is that the way you respond to the man who is offering your freedom?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"It is the way I respond to the man who only weeks ago ordered for my body to be broken and then complained that I was wasting his money on my healing." he replied coldly.

"Let us not focus on that." Lao almost smiled, "No, let us focus on getting you a thousand miles from here." He sat down again, "A grand opportunity has presented itself for my family and my family's name. There was a call put out weeks ago for all noble families, and families of royal descent to put forward themselves as representatives at the palace in almost three weeks' time as a show of solidarity and good-faith to the King and his military. I fear Toph would not go willingly."

No, she would not, Zuko thought, hiding any signs of amusement at what would unfold if she was to be forced, "You want me to accompany her?" he asked, not sure as to where Lao was going with this.

"Definitely not," Lao replied, "I want you to stop befriending her."

Zuko blinked, his eyebrows creased in surprise, "What do you mea-"

He was interrupted, "She has grown attached to you, it is an attachment that I knew would occur sooner or later- she is at that age, I suppose. I don't know if it is merely the blossoming of some kind of companionship, but I intend to halt it. She has a duty as a noblemen's daughter to put herself forward in this society and any slight on her side would have a negative cause on our family for generations." He looked Zuko directly in his eyes as he spoke, "This is where you are required... Maid Zuko, Toph has been kept as isolated as manageable- with exceptions of classed outings like today's... And her little rendezvous of which we have no control... She has been purposeful not to form attachments to anyone we have tried to connect her with; and so, your friendship is forbidden to her. You are her ultimate rebellion."

He listened to the latter words that Lao said, they danced around inside his head. Her ultimate rebellion. It was clear her parents still had no clue as to what her 'little rendezvous' entailed, or surely, he would not be considered the ultimate. "Why do you want her to be without a friend?" For her to be alone, He thought. He couldn't make himself say the words out loud to him, it seemed in Lao's eyes that Toph was not a person capable of many emotions aside from anger and indifference.

There was a pause as delight crawled its way across Lao's aged face, "Ha! Don't flatter yourself! You are scarcely a friend- barely an employee. I know all about you... Zuko." Zuko's ear pricked at the way Lao spoke his name, like it was weak, as if it was prey. "The validation you so desperately sought from particular members of your family and from your Nation will not be found here as you have deluded yourself into thinking. She will not give you what you need." he slowed his talking as he raised the scroll again, "Your uncle, however..." he left the end of his sentence open for interpretation.

Zuko's eyes were on the scroll as he felt his heart swell and ache with the need of someone to treat him kindly, someone who loves him.

"You have until the end of this week, I expect results no later than midnight in three days." Came Lao's final words on the topic, as he lifted his quill and dismissed him.

He considered how much effort it would take for him to make Toph dislike him enough for Lao's liking- a small critic on her bending would most likely create the required effect. His conscience would never let him hear the end of this, and he wondered why this was such a difficult decision for him.

What is she to me anyway?

… … …

"It was amazingly amazing," one of the girls gushed, wafting herself with her little paper fan, "His kiss was so soft, and his-" Zuko watched as Toph's face screwed up in revulsion, he could almost chuckle at her expression. There was a group of girls all around the same age of Toph, they were all dressed in the finest clothing money could buy, they were made up with skill and precision, and they were all giggling. All except Toph, she sat with a scowl, refusing make-up to come near her, and wearing an only a wrap-style cream and green kimono, with a thick golden sash around her waist. The ties ran down the side under her left arm, and she was most likely wearing nothing underneath it. Zuko smiled quickly when he realised that she looked like she would bust into a fight if she wasn't saved soon.

His smile slowly faded as he mulled over Lao's offer. He needed to be precise in his decisions, I can't afford to let my family's location slip from my grasp!

Can I?

"Another drink, please." Toph ordered tiredly as her beverage was approaching its end, she had grown bored of their stories half an hour ago, they had been in her company for thirty-two minutes and twenty-three seconds by her count. From the corner of the room, Zuko bowed quickly as he left to retrieve her a drink, he knew what type she wanted- alcoholic. She kept one of her feet flat on the ground, and felt him move towards the Beifong bar. She couldn't put her finger on it, but he had been different since returning from the meeting with her father earlier. She couldn't imagine what it was about, unless he was ordered to be less colloquial with me? She puzzled.

"Your servant is cute!" one of the girls suddenly whispered. Toph was brought back to the present, she refused to humour them, she kept her head forwards, face expressionless.

"Really handsome features!"

"Quite tall!" the first girl smiled towards the door, "And his eyes! Such a burning amber!"

"His skin is so clear and smooth!" the next smirked, nudging the first, "I like lean men, the taut stomach, the defined muscles! Yum!"

"Such a nice butt!"

Toph scrunched up her nose, "I wouldn't know." she said, trying to sound apathetic as she finished her current drink, waiting for the next.

"Too bad about his scar though…" one mumbled, "He would indeed be one of the cutest men ever if he had no scar."

A few mumbled in agreement with the girl's statement.

"W-what?" Toph was confused, the girls went quiet, she could feel them looking between each other, they had never had Toph interested in anything they had to say before. "What scar?"

"He has a scar that takes up most of the left side of his face. It encases his eye, and most of his cheek, all the way up into his hairline."

"I don't know why he wears his hair up… It could be mostly covered if he wore it down." Someone shrugged.

"It is big and ugly and very noticeable." Another chirped, everyone nodded.

"A minute ago, you said he was cute." Toph said, "Why does the scar suddenly affect that?"

"It is icky and gross." One mumbled, "Looks like a burn to me."

"You wouldn't understand, Toph…" one said softly, daring to reach her hand out and placing it on Toph's knee, "If you could see it. You would agree."

There was no noise, she boiled inside.

"Yes, I must say I am inclined to agree with you." Someone broke the silence, "The scar is quite horrendous, but those arms! It must be nice having him slaving away for you."

Toph could feel Zuko returning with her drink. She scowled dangerously at the girl who just would not shut her mouth. She continued despite Toph's glare, "-In fact! If it weren't for the scar, I would ask my own father to buy him from yours! Imagine being tucked in by him each night! Well, at least by the right side of him!" She and the others giggled as Zuko rounded the corner and handed the drink to Toph, "Oh, maid, may you fill mine too?"

That was it for Toph.

The disrespect, the shallowness, the constant tittering, and now insults on appearance. And for what? His place and position in the world before the Earth Kingdom claimed it for its own self use, something that he had no control over and was now expected to be punished for. It all came crashing through her mind like rampant badgermoles, torrents of anger swelling in her throat, she was feeling as though all her thoughts would fire from her lips like a cannon. She downed her drink and threw the empty glass at the wall, it shattered and everyone turned with shock to stare at the broken glass and then back to Toph. Her speech would be grand, in time, yet she could only manage two words to start.

"Fuck. You." She growled, her head turning toward the despicable girl.

"Upon my word!" One of the girls gasped, "You can't speak like that to us!"

"He is only a servant!" The girl laughed, still holding her drink towards Zuko.

Zuko was confused, he watched Toph, heart in his throat.

"He. Is. Not!" Toph shouted, the floodgates opened- and she was determined to drown them all, "Who the fuck do you think you are? Someone's worth isn't based on what they look like, you people are supposed to be pretty, doesn't change the fact you are horrible human beings and mean shit all to me." She swung her arm around and pointed at Zuko, "This man is strong, passionate, and smart." I care for him! I need him. She thought, heat rising at the realisation. Zuko was staring at Toph, his cheeks felt warm. "I wouldn't care if he had a third arm, two noses and a foot coming out of his head, he would still be one of the most loyal people I have met. Fuck you, and fuck your thought processes." She grabbed his wrist, the other girls were in shock and some even in tears- having never been spoken to in such a way, "Let's go, Zuko."

"Uh, you live here..." Zuko whispered, being pulled towards the door.

"Oh yeah..." She stopped, suddenly spinning and facing the guards, "Get these losers out of my house."

… … …

"Imagine my shame!" Poppy yelled, "Having those poor girls marched out of my own home- in tears! Their mothers were horrified!"

"Horrified of my actions?" Toph asked, "Or of the horrified of the worthless brats they raised?"

"They are not the ones acting like brats at the moment, young lady!" Poppy scolded,
"Now, this will stay between us, as I am sure your maid would not recover from yet another beating! But next time…" she left the threat open to interpretation. "Maid Zuko, in return for my silence, you will escort her back to her chambers, and I will insist upon you guaranteeing her remaining there until the morning. I can't even begin to see how I will come back from this! Imagine the gossip… Oh for shame!" Servants were fanning her and giving her tea, chocolates, and smelling salts. "Leave me, my heart cannot bare to see you at this time!"

Zuko bowed his head. Poppy waved them off not even mumbling a sound at them, Toph huffed an annoyance as she stormed from the room.

He waited until they arrived at her door before he spoke to her, they stepped inside.

"You didn't need to do that for me." He said, struggling to upkeep his resolve; with his own words from earlier circling his mind- he pursed his lips. He leant his long body against the stone wall, watching as she stalked back and forth.

What is she to me anyway?

"They needed to be taught a lesson- you can't treat people like that just because they are different." she snarled, coming to a stop a few feet from him. She took a deep breath, "I didn't know you had a scar."

"You never asked." he replied quietly, this answer annoyed Toph slightly.

"Of course I didn't..." she said, waving her hand before her face, her blind eyes wide in emphasis. She lowered her hands and crossed them over her chest, they stood in silence for some time, she felt the vibrations of the earth and listened to the sounds around her; the calls of insects in the night air, the whispers of nocturnal animals, the distant steps of guards, her own parents pacing, Zuko's breathing, the steady thumps of his heart. She felt an indescribable pull towards him, she hugged her torso tightly, she whispered as gently as she could, "How?"

"A punishment." he barely spoke aloud.

"Who?"

His words were even softer, "My father."

Her eyes darted sightlessly as she absorbed what she heard, she couldn't fathom his pain or imagine what distrust he must feel. She mulled over the times she had become irate at his cautiousness, and despite how she treated him- he was reliable to her. How he spoke in awe about her bending, and marvelled at her strength. There was a closeness she felt to him at this moment, stronger than she had felt to anyone. She didn't know why she wanted to touch the scar, but she knew she would not ask to do so- it was too personal.

There was suddenly a hand on her wrist, it was scorching but not painful, it was in fact almost pleasurable. He pulled her hand toward him and her whole body stumbled forwards until her chest was flush with his. He was holding her palm just above the skin over his left eye and released his grip on her wrist. His hand moved to rest atop hers, and he took a slow breath in as he waited for her move. He had always hated people asking to touch his face, and so his desperation to have her caress the damaged skin was a surprise to him and had subsequently overpowered his will to keep her away. He was watching the pale-jade orbs of her eyes, they fluttered closed, she pouted slightly. She had halted her breathing from the moment they had collided, and she held it still as she pressed the palm of her cool, calloused hand to the searing, uneven skin of his face. Her hands were gentle despite her nature, they ran along the lines formed by the burnt skin, and followed invisible patterns.

Her free hand was pressed to the wall behind him, feeling the reactions inside his body. She could feel an aching in her chest and took a slow breath in, feeling him do the same. A shiver ran between them as Zuko leant his forehead down against hers, he wanted only to have her in any and all ways.

His imagination flipped to how she would feel around him, how her body would move with his, what sounds would escape her lips and become whispers in his ears. He could see the sheen of moisture that covered her skin, her body's response to his heat, he wanted to taste it. He hungered for her body and made no attempt to hide how his own was reacting to hers.

Toph felt his erection against her hipbone, the aching intensified and her jawbone tingled with what she could only describe as lust for his body. He moved his head downwards slowly, pressing his lips gently against the corner of her mouth. Zuko's body rumbled as he wound his arms around her tightly, holding her to him. Their bodies were close as they could be, pressing against each other. The intimacy of her exploring his scar brought something forward inside her, she had never asked anyone this before and she never imagined that she would want to.

Until this moment.

Her lips parted as she whispered her most recent and overwhelming desire to him, "Can I kiss you?"

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