It was a truly vile Christmas, thank you very much. No matter how resolutely the radio played music proclaiming it a merry one, Callie simply couldn't feel it.

She had done it. She had told Arizona. Confessed all, and Arizona had rejected her. No, she had not even had the decency to reject her. She had simply walked out. With nary anything but a season's greeting.

Callie should feel vindicated. Obviously, she had been right asking for the divorce. Obviously, no amount, or lack, of communication could have possibly altered the course of their relationship. She had changed, what she wanted had changed, but what Arizona wanted hadn't.

Certainly, Arizona had been more than willing to have sex with her, but that was no indication of any finer feelings. Typical.

Callie took a sip of wine, then set her glass back down on the side board in the living room. The crystal made contact with the wood surface with a resounding click, echoing against the walls of her family home. Highlighting the fact that she was truly alone.

Here she was, living the exact thing she had been afraid of. Loving again. Losing it again.

The only positive thing she could say was that she was living. For now, she would take it.

The doorbell rang and she crossed the expansive living area, heading toward the entry. If it was carolers, she could not promise she wouldn't throw them in a snow bank. She wasn't feeling particularly cheered and she didn't really want anyone to try.

She paused at the door and looked through the security glass. And then her heart stopped. There were no Dickensian street urchins, no carolers of any kind.

It was Arizona.

Callie opened the door to the townhouse, her sadness suddenly washed away by a torrent of anger. "What do you want? You didn't hurt me enough last night? Have you also come to step on my toe? Get a red wine stain on the cream colored rug? Or perhaps something else similarly damaging?"

"No," Arizona said, her voice ragged. For the first time, Callie paused and looked at Arizona, really looked. And she noticed Arizona appeared as though she had not slept since she had left her in the hotel room. Arizona wasn't there in one of her pricy business suits. Hairs in disrray, cheeks stained with dried tears, face sans any makeup, she was dressed in a simple white shirt and worn off denim. Still she looked everything Callie fell in love with.

"I came here because I have one more secret to tell you."

Last time Arizona had felt so nervous, she had knocked over a vase in the hallowed halls of the home her mother had worked in. She had known then, though she had only been a child, that she had broken something priceless. That there would be no fixing it. That the only way out would be if those she had wronged forgave her debt, because there was no way she could pay it.

It was the same as this moment. Arizona had broken something last night, perhaps, she had been steadily breaking it over the past five years. She wasn't sure there was any way to fix it. And so, instead she would ask for forgiveness. And offer something in return.

"Tell me," Callie said, her voice thin.

"I hated Christmas as a child. It was so happy and warm, it was everything I was not. A display of all I could not have. It made me want. It made me feel. It made me ache. To be tantalized by all that you cannot have from your very earliest memory… There was a point where I decided I would never do that again. I would no longer want, I would have. And I would do what needed to be done to obtain the means to make it possible. Then I met you. And I…I acquired you. As I have done many things in the past."

Callie squinted her eyes, "I'm not certain I find that flattering."

"It isn't. Simply the reasoning of a frightened woman." Arizona drew a deep breath. "We were married for five years. And I never once brought a Christmas tree, or anything festive at all into our house, did I?"

"No," Callie said.

"It is because I didn't want to ache anymore. Reminders of the past…of that longing…they only made me ache and so I kept them away. But I couldn't stop that pain forever."

"You couldn't?"

"No. Because of you. You are my Christmas, Calliope Torres."

"I'm your what?"

"You are my Christmas. Being near you, so close to you, and yet not having you made me ache. So I pretended I didn't need you. I pretended you weren't important. When in truth all I really wanted was one moment of the warmth, of the happiness, I knew I could find in you." Arizona cleared her throat. "But I was afraid. Afraid of wanting something I might not be able to have. You were right, in many ways. I am just a little girl afraid of being denied."

Callie felt like her heart was going to explode. She stepped out the door, wrapping her arms around Arizona, squeezing her eyes shut tight. "Oh, Arizona. You don't have to be afraid of me. You don't have to be afraid of not having me."

"When you asked for your divorce…I told myself I hated you because yet again I was being denied. So I decided I wouldn't think of you. I wouldn't remember you. I wouldn't want you. Because it was better than the pain." Arizona looked away. "Of course…I could not let go entirely. It's why I wore the ring still. Because I didn't want it to be over, no matter what I told myself."

"I hurt you? Believe me when I tell you I had no clue I possessed the power to hurt you." Callie reasoned.

Arizona drew back slightly, her dark blue depths trained on Callie's. "I didn't know either. Because I worked so hard to ensure that nothing did. But you… You got beneath my defenses. You were so unexpected. A virgin in business suits who wanted a marriage of convenience. Why should I ever think I would have to protect my heart from such a creature?"

Callie frowned. "I am not a creature."

Arizona leaned in and kissed her lips lightly. "Of course not."

"So what do you… I mean… How do you feel about Christmas now?" Callie asked, her heart thundering heavily.

"I assume by Christmas you mean you."

"That is the metaphor."

A smile curved Arizona's lips. "Aren't you going to invite me in?"

Arizona had spent the whole night wandering the city feeling tortured. Feeling as though her heart had been ripped straight out of her chest and hung up on a tree in Rockefeller Center as a macabre ornament.

And then she had asked herself what the hell she was doing, wandering the city streets in the cold when she could be with her wife. When there was a woman who loved her. A woman she knew beyond a shadow of a doubt she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.

So, she had come to her.

"I would invite you in," Callie said, blocking the door with her tall frame. "But there are Christmas decorations in there. And I'm not sure yet how you feel about those."

"I love them," Arizona said, the words rough, torn from her.

Callie's lips went slack, rounded into an O. "You do?"

"I do" Arizona shrugged.

"Why…why did you never tell Christmas? And why did you let Christmas almost divorce us? And why did you walk out of the hotel room without saying anything when Christmas confessed its true feelings?"

"Because," Arizona said, tugging Callie into her arms and kissing her hard. "Because I am little more than a frightened little girl. I had aspirations. I wanted things. But, Calliope that's nothing compared to risking your heart. I didn't want to let anything or anyone hurt me, ever again. I married you because you were safe. But then it turned out you weren't. So I kept you at a distance and…and then you left me. Calliope, these past six months without you have been hell."

"They have been," Callie said. "I mean, for me too. Without you."

"I know I don't ever want to lose you again. And I know that means investing more than I have. I know that means giving, I know that means opening up. It means risking pain."

"But healing too," Callie said, tears filling her eyes. "And happiness. And love. Lots of love."

Arizona kissed her again. "I know. It's worth the risk. And now you know my secrets. If I ever close up, if I ever turn away…"

"I'll ask you why. And you do the same for me."

"I promise."

"I love you. Calliope. More than you can ever imagine."

Callie's heart expanded in her chest. "I love you, too, Arizona."

"Stay my wife. Please." Arizona begged.

"I will." Callie kissed her again and Arizona looked beyond her, through the door and at the house inside. She could see a Christmas tree, lights twinkling everywhere. And she knew for a fact Christmas would never again be a promise not kept.

It would be, for her, the ultimate symbol of vows honored.

"Now maybe you should come inside," Callie said, a smile on her face. "I have a present for you that you might want to unwrap."

THE END

AN - Few things. I don't know how this chapter will be received. I know everyone was expecting Arizona to confess, maybe in a grand way or something and of course I wanted it as well. But I really wanted Arizona to stick to her original character trait (I-have-no-clue-about-romance) as well, so this is what rolled out. Hope you guys enjoyed this journey.

AN - SS will be wrapping up soon as well. I have lots of request for a g!p fic with some accidental pregnancy scenario. So let me know if that's what you want me to write next or another sweet edition like Pretend Love.