Chapter Ten

Four boys sat up in their chairs, backs straight and stiff, almost uncomfortable. Their expressions were devoid of any emotions, at least for the time being. They were waiting for the presence of the care-taker who needed to be present at the small court case that was about to occur. Judge Dumbledore, his snow-white beard firm on his chin and his glasses perched on his nose, sat behind his strong desk, his hands folded and staring at the boys. Behind him was Sheriff McGonagall, eyes sharp and appearance frazzled. She looked like she was puzzled between being ecstatic for the high range of magic or being furious for the school's blazons treated in such way. Finally, Filch arrived, Mrs. Norris close to his heel.

"I assume everyone is back in their common rooms," began Dumbledore, addressing Filch. He nodded back gruffly.

"The prefects and the Heads drove them back," he said. He shot a glare at the four boys, sitting silently, but not quite guiltily. "I have a perfect suggestion for their crimes, Professor Dumbledore. I've been studying a few methods on medieval torture and–"

"Thank you, Argus," interrupted Dumbledore, holding up his hand. "But I'll leave Professor McGonagall to make the decisions regarding their punishment as the boys arein her house." Filch looked immensely disappointed as if someone had popped his balloon and made him eat the pieces.

"Is anyone willing to explain what exactly happened?" Dumbledore inquired, glancing at the four boys who were staring down at the carpeting, absorbed by the patterns. Sirius slowly raised his hands, carefully tearing his gaze away from the carpet. Dumbledore smiled. "Mister Black?"

"Professor, I think this is a brilliant carpet you have here," Sirius began. "The red is so vivid and the patterns are great. I'm guessing it's from the... nineteenth century?"

"Accurate, Mister Black," replied Dumbledore with a nod. "This indeed is an nineteenth-century carpet, dated close to 1875, if I remember correctly. I believe that was during the Victorian Era."

Sirius nodded excitedly. "Interesting! Do you know where it was–"

"Ahem," McGonagall interrupted, her eyebrows raised. "I do believe the topic that should be discussed is not the carpet, Mister Black, but your conduction today towards the blazons of the school." Sirius blushed. Dumbledore glanced up from the carpet himself.

"Thank you Minerva," he said, smiling at her briefly. His gaze returned to the boys who were now staring at Fawkes in the background, grooming his feathers. The particularly immature fifteen year olds snickered when Fawkes began pecking at his lower area. McGonagall sighed.

"So, Mister Black, as you seem to be most talkative–" Sirius glanced back at Dumbledore from Fawkes and grinned at the Headmaster cheekily. "Would you mind explaining to me exactly what happened?"

"Why, sure Headmaster!" he agreed heartily, clapping his hands on his knees. "Well, there was I, sitting in my Transfiguration class, bored out of my mind, because, you know, it's the most dull subject ever especially when you've had lots of fun the night before–" Sirius wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, daring the professors to guess just what he'd been up to. McGonagall scowled at him. "–And I suddenly got this revelation. It was like, from the gods or something, it was so brilliant. So I was like, 'Oh Merlin's Buttocks, I must tell my best mate James!' You know him." Sirius smacked Lily's arm. She scowled at him.

"I'm not sure a complete narrative is necessary–" McGonagall began, glancing at Dumbledore in a pleading way.

"Uh, no." Sirius shook his head, holding out his hand. "Please. Details are crucial. As always."

Dumbledore looked amused and wiggled his toes happily. "Let him continue, Minerva."

"Anyway," Sirius went on, examining his nails. "So James was like, 'You're the smartest person ever. Let me salute you and lick your feet.'"

"That's not what I said!" Lily hissed.

"Says you," Sirius answered breezily. "Then we all agreed to it and mates always stick together so we went on with the plan and..." He glanced around him with a grin. "Here we are."

Dumbledore looked as if he was suppressing a chuckle while McGonagall and Filch looked as if they would gladly begin yelling and strangle the four without a second thought at liability issues. Remus glared at Sirius, recognizing the venomous glares coming from the two.

"Quite a creative prank, Mister Black," remarked Dumbledore with a nod of his head. "You have a gift of creativity and using resources around you."

"Thank you, Headmaster," grinned Sirius, flattered. McGonagall gave Dumbledore a look of indignation that said, "What are you doing? You're supposed to be punishing them!" Dumbledore dismissed the obvious look, having run out of patience for the meaningful looks he was always getting from the Transfiguration professor and his pet bird.

"Actually, you all have the gift," Dumbledore said, clasping his hands together. "It's quite remarkable really. I've never encountered students who were so dedicated and exact about creative work like this."

Remus exchanged looks with Lily, both confused. "Erm, thank you Headmaster," replied Remus tentatively, nudging Sirius slightly as a form of warning to be on his guard. However, Sirius grinned widely instead.

"So dedicated and exact and creative in fact," began Dumbledore, his blue eyes twinkling with amusement. Lily swallowed, her stomach fluttering. She could feel something awful coming along. "I believe you should collect potion ingredients for Professor Slughorn. It's a task that requires undivided attention and since you all are excellent at pursuing one task at a time..." He trailed off, glancing up at McGonagall. "And I believe he was speaking of needing thestral dung and newt eye jelly just recently. This morning, I think. Yes, Minerva?"

McGonagall merely nodded, a slight amused look on her face. Sirius' smile sank into distaste.

"Headmaster, surely you can't hate us that much," grumbled he with a pinch of his mouth. "We're here to brighten up the school and you just throw a bundle of hatred at our heads."

"We're merely throwing back to you the bundle of hatred you've tossed at our heads, Mister Black," McGonagall replied primly. "Your detentions will begin tomorrow at dawn."

"Dawn?" Lily spluttered, eyes bulging from her head. "Why do we have to get up that early for?"

"Mister Potter, I thought you would certainly know that thestrals feces are never sighted at any other time than dawn," Dumbledore interjected with a knowing look towards Lily and she knew fully what he meant. And she had known. It was just a matter of acceptance.

"I'll be seeing you in a few, scant hours," McGonagall addressed with a smug smile that she was trying to hide. Sirius scowled, but didn't reply.

"Please return to your common rooms," began Dumbledore with a chuckle. "And close the door behind you."

– – – – –

James was pacing in the girls' dormitories. "What the hell happened? What the hell do you think happened to them?"

"Lily, why are you being all... irritating?" Mary interrupted, looking up from her textbook which she had been trying to study for the past hour. "Well, more than usual." James scowled at her. "But why do you care? I thought you didn't care! What's wrong with you?"

"I don't care," James replied lightly. "I'm just wondering if Filch got to, um, test out his methods on them as he always wanted to."

"They probably just got off with detention," Emmeline suggested as she continued to knit her scarf. James found that Emmeline was a master at knitting; she had already made a few pairs of mittens, and many scarves decorated the interior of her closet. "You know they always do," she added.

"Let's converse of more important subjects," Mary began with a sigh, flipping back on her bed, causing dust mites to fly into the air with an inaudible squeak and plummet to the ground to their deaths. Poor dust mites.

"And what exactly are these more important subjects?" Emmeline inquired.

"Ancient Runes!" burst out Mary passionately, chucking the book off her bed in irritation. "Today's class was the most discouraging class of Ancient Runes I have ever attended in my life."

"Oh, come on, it wasn't that bad," Emmeline replied with a shrug. "He just has a tendency to tweak his words around a little."

"A little?" cried Mary, jumping up from the bed. "You mean always! And he keeps repeating himself but using completely different words! It was terribly confusing and by the end of that class, I was ready to stab a quill into the face of the next person who said, Ancient Runes."

Emmeline rolled her eyes. "Smooth, McDonald. What did you think, Lily? I honestly didn't think it was that bad."

The two glanced over at James expectantly, probably expecting him to say something confident and reflecting his independent views. James merely gulped.

"Um, I, er, I–" he stammered for a while, but in the end, just sighed and decided honesty was the best policy. "I actually didn't understand a single bleeding word that man uttered."

Probably because I'm not even supposed to be taking that class, he added in his mind.

Mary let out a triumphant "Ha!" while Emmeline rolled her eyes again and murmured, "Very mature."

For James, the problem with switching bodies with Lily had been the fact that she took much more advanced classes and packed in more work into her schedule than it was possible to complete them. Most of the time, James was finding that all-nighters were crucial just to finish homework. Then he had study. And do reading assignments. And prepare for the next day. It was enough to kill a bloody thestral.

"So, Lily, has James Potter caught your eye? For real?" Mary remarked, breaking James out his rambling thoughts. He glanced over, confused for a moment since it took more than minute for his brain to process words sometimes.

"Oh. Oh!" James recollected, rummaging his mind on what to say. "Um, no. I was just joking. Thought it would be a good joke. Ha ha."

Mary raised her eyebrows. "Are you sure? You seemed rather serious."

"Like, a lot," Emmeline added, staring at James curiously. "Are you sure? Have you thought about it?"

James, with a "What-the-hell" expression on his face, repeated, "Thought about it?"

"Yeah, did you think about it?" Mary repeated as if James was a crazy idiot. "You know, went over all the details? Made sure you don't have any secret attachment to him or anything?"

Girls actually do this kind of shit? James asked himself, a disgusted expression on his face.

"Yes, I thought about it," he lied, just to avoid inquisition. Mary sighed, waving her hand at him in a way of dismissal.

"You are such a nun, Lily," she remarked, rolling her eyes. "You haven't dated anyone since last year when Phillip Engles asked you out for the first time."

James sat, stunned, thinking of Phillip Engles. That boy was... disgusting. So Lily would rather date Phillip-bloody-Engles rather than James-spectacular-Potter? There was something obviously wrong with her eyesight since it was so evident to everyone else that James-spectacular-Potter was much better looking than Phillip-bloody-Engles. And what kind of name was Phillip anyway? Was he a royal or something? I mean, they lived in the twentieth century for crying out loud. What was up with the name? That boy's parents must have hated the boy. Or just liked to giggle at their son's silly name since they had no social life whatsoever. Poor boy.

"How's Sirius, Mary?" Emmeline inquired in a sly voice. "Still catches your eye?"

Mary blushed, smiling slightly. "He's the same."

James' eyes bulged. "You like who?"

"You know, Sirius," murmured Mary in a shy voice. "You should know by now, Lily Evans!"

"I think you two are so cute together," Emmeline remarked with a grin. "You could totally double date with Lily and James."

Double date? With Sirius Black and Mary McDonald? James thought, his mind whirling crazily. Sirius would make all the crude and nasty jokes in the world while Mary would probably chatter away with Lily. They'd end up conspiring against me because they're females! Then I wouldn't even have a chance! And then Sirius will pretend to like Lily and–

"N- No!" bellowed James, jumping from his bed, only to smack his head on one of the poles on the bed, it being a four-poster bed. Mary snickered.

"I was just teasing!" said Emmeline, raising her eyebrows. "You don't need to get so worked up!"

James clutched his forehead, groaning slightly. "Please... just no. Never again. I will just..."

"Maybe she's just too shy to talk to James," teased Mary, looking devious. "Or talk about him."

"Oh, shut up."

Mary grinned. "See?"

"McDonald!" James hissed while nudging the poor egg-sized lump on the top of his sorry head. "Why are you so annoying?"

"Some might say that's my job," she replied coolly, the grin still present on her face. James couldn't help but think of Sirius at the moment; he was so like Mary... Since they were both arseholes and all.

"Ugh, I have cramps," Mary suddenly began, clutching her stomach and leaning back into her four-poster bed again. "Am I leaking?"

"Um, I'm sure I really wanted to be blessed with the knowledge that my mate might be leaking," Emmeline interrupted, wrinkling her nose in disgust while examining her scarf for a moment. "Why are you so vulgar?"

"Some might say that's my job," Mary said again with a laugh. "But really, do you have a tampon?"

James froze in his spot, his eyes wide. T- Tampon? What the hell was this? Were they really talking about– Oh, bugger, I– He couldn't stop imagining blood and gallons of it spilling out of his– Oh Merlin, what if that happens to me? What happens if I get Lily's period shit? What do I do? Fuck, fuck, fuck!

"Yeah, here, I have one in my bag," Emmeline remarked, putting down her knitting needles to throw a small roll at Mary. She caught it deftly with a toothy grin.

"Thanks, mate," Mary remarked and sauntered towards the bathroom happily. Emmeline shook her head before glancing at Lily with her eyebrows raised.

"Are you alright, Lily?" she inquired worriedly. "You look sort of... pale."

James looked up with a weak grin. "Uh, yeah. Of course. I just remembered I had an exam and– I'm just going to go study for it."

"Okay. Library?"

"I don't know. Maybe. Yes."

"Have fun then."

James paused and glanced back at Emmeline with a sardonic expression. "Yeah... I'll have fun..."

The End.

April Fool's! (About a month late...) It's not actually the end of the story! I hope I managed to trick some people? You know I love writing this too much to stop it here. I'm sorry if I, um, gave some people a heart attack... Please don't sue...

On another note, it's official. I'm obsessed with thestrals and anything vulgar pertaining to them. It must be a psychological disorder. I can't tame this wild streak in me. I'm going to use it until it becomes lame. Oh Merlin, it's a curse!