Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Warning: Currency is in American Dollars.
Kakuzu: Saturday 1:00 PM
"What is your cheapest this week?" Kakuzu asked as he sat himself down in front of me. There was never a hello, or good day; just always down to the cheapest polish.
I opened my draw and pulled out two bottles. "They are the same price." I explained as a set down a dark red and a turquoise blue. "There is Pound Me on the Table Red or 12 Inch Gang Bang Blue."
Kakuzu stared intently at the colors before looking up at me with a dull look and in monotone stated, "I'll have Pound Me on the Table Red."
I shrugged as I put away the blue and began to wipe off the previous Dirty Slut Green. I never converse with Kakuzu; it was almost a written rule. I tried once; it was awkward and silently disturbing. It just never happened again so I was surprised that when I finished up his nails and was writing out his receipt for the jobs that he set an envelope on my desk.
"What is that?" I asked.
"I note regarding the happenings of last night." Kakuzu stated as he grabbed the receipt from my hand. I could have sworn his eyes popped out of his head and his hand clenched around the receipt.
"529.89?" Kakuzu hissed.
"Yes, well you see each job is 49.99, now if you multiple that by ten and add in the tax, it will equal the 529.89." I explained as I took a step back from the counter.
"Why is it multiple by ten?" Kakuzu muttered darkly.
"Well you see, the other members informed me that you would be covering their tab." I whimpered.
"I see." Kakuzu hissed. He reached into his pant pocket and pulled out a wallet. "Will a check work?"
I blinked in surprise and nodded my head quickly. Kakuzu wrote out the check and handed it to me. I looked at the name. "Who is Yamato?" I asked curiously.
"An offshore account alias." Kakuzu stated as he walked out of the office, slamming the fragile glass door that further cracked, thanks to Tobi.
"Offshore account in Konoha?" I muttered to myself. I shrugged and pocketed the check as I walked over to the envelope. I curiously opened it and saw a page and a half of Kakuzu's writing.
For all the trouble you have caused.
Sasori: Healthily out of Itachi's genjutsu. He has referred to neither Kisame nor Itachi by the offending names and all is good again. He is now working on puppets of Itachi and Kisame. He mentioned to Tobi in passing about 'rebuilding the Father and the Mother'. He also has Tobi working on a drawing of Itachi and Kisame's love child in secret. Attached is a copy of said picture.
I curiously picked up the piece of paper a saw a crudely drawn turquoise blue shark with a black and purple ponytail and red sharingan-like eyes. I hastily returned it to the envelope and returned to reading Kakuzu's note.
Hidan: Still annoying. He is now giving seminars on how to pick up women. Luckily for me, a lot of men in Suna have paid advanced non-refundable payments. Unfortunately for them, two have been killed by kunoichi who have been offended by these tactics. Zetsu is currently trying to help by loaning him 'Icha Icha Paradise' books to help with the seminars. I don't think it will work and I'm still working on plotting Hidan's death. Any advice is welcomed.
Zetsu: Is relatively normal? He is half plant, half…whatever. He still watches everyone while they aren't looking and we have afternoon coffee to discuss the happenings of the organization and funding. Still BFFLAAs. (Best Friends For Life And Akatsuki)
Deidara: Currently being cared for by Nurse Tobi. After Konan's suffocation, Tobi has been nursing him back to health in a cheap Halloween costume for women. Deidara has begged for help multiple times but no one can hear him in the basement anymore. Itachi has firmly locked the door to the basement and Tobi is the only one with a key. I don't think we will be seeing Deidara anymore.
Konan: Has forgiven Pein. They kissed and made up and much more and have been locked in their bedroom since. Itachi is now in charge of the organization until further notice. Konan also has agreed to make her tomato soup and everyone is happy again. She is even making grilled cheeses!
Pein: Has learned to accept Konan's feelings. He now watches soaps with Itachi and Konan and seems to enjoy them. In other news, Zetsu heard about his new piercing from Konan, but no one can see it so we have sent Tobi on a mission to find out where it is. Updates soon.
Tobi: Is being tested. All the members have been testing him and sending him on tasks and chores to test his worth. Tobi is being tested in reconnaissance, medical practice, art, durability, and intelligence. Results still below par.
Kisame: Has given up his quest for love. After a long and private talk with Itachi (even Zetsu couldn't hear what was happening) he decided to give up and it was pointless. He has also spent more time with Itachi and both seem to be glowing with happiness. Kisame also has been seen wearing Itachi's necklace, although he does try to hide it on occasion.
Itachi: Has stopped hurting other organization members. He also has stopped eating fish with aggression every night (started on Tuesday night) and refuses to eat any more ever again. Lucky for me, fish was too expensive. Itachi also has been being generous with this rules, but only when his partner is concerned. Tobi is jealous and is healing a nasty burn he received from Itachi when sitting in Itachi's chair. In other news, Itachi seems to be a supporter of gay rights, more on that next time.
In Tail-Beast Related News: No tailed beasts have been caught, although word has it that we are close to capturing the Seven Tails though. Wish us luck.
Enjoy and stop trying to help with the members of the organization. It is not helpful. Actually you suck. If we didn't tell you so much stuff about our lives and you weren't a fantastic nail's artist, we would fire you…or kill you. Watch yourself Harumi.
Wow, it's done! Thank you everyone who has reviewed, favorited, or simply read this, it means the world to me. Working on other stuff, so keep an eye out! Thanks again and please Review! Until next time!