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Chapter 10

Oliver finally found the coffee filters that were hidden in the cabinet. He wasn't sure why someone who relied on coffee as much as Felicity did kept about four items in front of something that should have been way more accessible. He found the grinds, the same kind that they used to have at Queen Consolidated, which he made for himself more often than not. Apparently making coffee wasn't in Felicity's job description.

He sighed as he smelled the coffee percolating. He had a myriad of thoughts and emotions flowing through him. At the forefront was Felicity admitting she loved him. A warmth passed through him as he thought of it. Of course, he had known that she did long before; someone like Felicity did not do anything halfway, especially when it came to friendship and love. No, he knew that something triggered her to say it back this time. He assumed it was either him almost dying or her being attacked. Still, it was good to hear and made him momentarily forget about the state of Felicity's mind and body. His reprieve vanished as he remembered her back. Last night he had gotten a glimpse of the bruising and injuries, but today, in the bright fluorescent bathroom lighting, he saw how truly horrific her body was damaged. The bruising around her shoulder blades were the worst, which is why she had conceded to help despite her stubbornness. There were tiny scrapes littering her lower back as well. Oliver guessed she was either thrown or dragged on the street. Just thinking of it made his blood boil.

He honestly didn't mean to come on to her the way he did. It was like his hand had a mind of its own as he stroked down her back. Then he was kissing her from behind, and it just felt so good and so right that he couldn't stop himself.

It was her reaction when he laid her on the bed that he couldn't get out of his mind. She stiffened so suddenly that when he looked up to make sure she was alright she was staring through him, eyes wide and panicked, the rest of her body stiff as a board. He shook his head feeling guiltily. Of course she had PTSD and her mind was still trying to protect her. He was no stranger to what she was going through and vowed to help her get past it. She would, she was strong and determined, he knew she'd eventually be fine, but at the moment she needed support and time to heal.

Felicity came out of her room dressed and her hair dried. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "that's probably the best smell in the world."

Oliver turned back to the coffee maker which was finished and poured her a cup. He then put added three spoonfuls of sugar and a little milk and handed her the mug.

Felicity looked confused if not slightly impressed, "How do you know how I take my coffee?"

"I'm nothing if not observant," he said with a wink as he fixed his own mug.

They sipped their drinks for a minute in companionable silence but then it was time to get down to business.

"So this mission you guys are working on...can I get filled in?"

Felicity put down her mug and searched his face for a moment. He wasn't disapproving, only serious and expectant. So she started from the beginning, glossing over her attack somewhat but relaying the connection to the unknown substance and the vertigo and the lead with Arkham Asylum and Dr. Crane.

"This Crane guy knows who you are and that you're on to him," Oliver pointed out, "and you don't even know if he's working for someone else or what he's trying to do with these drugs. I doubt someone like him would go to all this trouble to just make money off the street."

Felicity nodded, "I know, it has to be something big judging by the security he has in place. Well, security in the computer science sense. Otherwise there would be no way I would have had that much trouble with that firewall. I'd rather not have another humbling experience like last night." Felicity paused thoughtfully and stared blankly at Oliver, "Oh frack."

"What? Felicity?"

"He knew we were coming, or at least that I was on to him. Crane didn't so much as blink when he confronted me. He set that firewall up before hand, and had his defense ready, his exit plan ready. How did I miss that?" Felicity was extremely perturbed.

"You hadn't been sleeping..."

"No." Felicity said angrily.

"You were attacked." Oliver continued gently.

"That's not why, and even if it was that's no excuse."

"Hey, hey," Oliver took her hand and intertwined it with his, "you've been through a lot. Even the best of us lose our focus, God knows I have."

He looked at her encouragingly trying to ease some of the stress she was under. She looked back at him grudgingly, so Oliver continued, "I've made plenty of bad decisions and have luckily had you and Diggle to talk me off the cliff."

"Are we talking metaphorical cliffs, or the one you just fell from?"

Oliver's smooth expression momentarily faltered. Felicity felt immediate guilt, "I'm sorry," she squeezed his hand, "this whole thing it just, it got away from me, and now I'm just..."

"Lost," Oliver finished.

She nodded, "yes." Her eyes were downcast. She seemed so different in that moment, so defeated.

Oliver stood up and pulled Felicity up and to him for a hug. Once she was in his arms she took a deep breath inhaling his scent and it helped to calm her.

"We're together now, and we will figure all this out," Oliver said into her hair.

She pulled away slightly to look at him, his blue eyes shining and calm, "you're right." She smiled, still not quite believing he was here with her alive, but putting faith in the fact that that was a good sign on its own.

He leaned down and brushed a soft kiss on her lips and for a moment she was at peace.

}-

Oliver arranged to have everyone meet at the foundry that night. When they all arrived he couldn't help looking around and seeing how much had changed in the weeks he had been away, especially with Thea and Felicity. Thea looked... comfortable, for lack of a better word, in the lair, and he was still trying to wrap his head around that. His baby sister was never supposed to know his secret, but now that she did, he wondered how things might have been different if she had known all along.

Felicity. She was still as fierce as she had always been in their mission and in her friendship with the team, but now there was something else there. She had tasted a darkness that he never wanted for her. He knew that she was exposed to the darkness that surrounded him, but it was his. She had her own personal darkness now, and somehow he could see it there behind her eyes. He also saw that she was fighting it. A feeling of pride ran through him. There was nothing she couldn't overcome, he knew that, she just needed time and support, and he knew he'd give her that and more.

When everyone looked to him expectantly he addressed the group, "It was a little crazy last night so I just wanted to address a few things before we go back to all of that. First, I just wanted to say that it's so good to see all of you," he looked around looking each one in the eye.

"I'm sorry I couldn't check in sooner, but unfortunately it was too remote for any kind of communication. Ra's, for the time being, believes that I am dead, but that could change at any moment once I rejoin society."

"Huh, there really are downsides to being billionaires," Roy snarked.

"Former, billionaires," Thea pointed out.

"Semantics," Roy replied.

They both turned back to Oliver, who although was not smiling, had an amusement in his eyes. He opened his mouth to continue when Thea interrupted again, "Why is he after you anyway?"

"I'll talk to you about that later," Oliver said not knowing how to broach the subject. Thea looked pissed.

"Really? We're back to that again? Everyone thought you were dead, Ollie." Thea looked around to the others who looked uncomfortable.

"Speedy..." Oliver said frustrated.

"No one said..." Roy began but Thea stopped him.

"I kind of gathered that you didn't think he was coming back," she said glancing quickly at Felicity, who's face was tinged pink, "I think I know enough now to be let in the loop. Besides, I can help you guys."

"Maybe she's right, Oliver. Maybe we should just try to get everything out the table," Diggle, ever the voice of reason, concluded.

Diggle's statement encouraged her. Thea stepped forward and took Oliver's hands, "Ollie, whatever happened, I can take it. You don't have to protect me anymore."

Oliver blew out a long breath. He didn't want to hurt his sister anymore, but now he was going to either way, either by lying to her more or by telling her what she did. However much he wanted to save her from that knowledge, he decided the truth was the best course. He looked at Thea and reluctantly told her, "I went to protect you."

Thea was confused, "Why would you have to protect me?"

Oliver told her everything, Thea listened and everyone else cringed around them. Thea had to sit down when he informed her that she was used to kill Sara. He tried to impress upon her that she had no control over it, that it was Malcolm looking to escape Ra's. And she understood, she did, but it didn't make hearing it any easier, or her anger any less hot.

"It's still my fault, if I didn't let him train me..."

"He would have probably killed Sara himself," Oliver interjected.

"But at least then you wouldn't have nearly gotten killed!"

This time Oliver took her hands, "Speedy, I'm fine, for the moment we are safe, and we will deal with all of this and Malcolm. For right now, we have other issues."

Thea nodded and stepped back and into Roy, who put his arms around her in a small attempt to comfort her.

"We'll figure out all that stuff later, but right now we have to focus on what you guys started with Crane. We have to clean all of that up especially because he knows Felicity was looking into him". Oliver turned his attention to Felicity, "Could he have traced anything back to the foundry?"

Felicity answered back confidently, "No, I checked our firewall and its solid. From what I have gathered, he's not a computer science mastermind or anything, he just has incredible cyber security in place. Someone set them up for him."

"Which means he's not acting alone in this," Diggle added. Oliver and Felicity nodded.

"But how did he know you were investigating him? Wouldn't he have had to catch you snooping?" Roy asked.

At that question, Felicity turned to her monitors, typed quickly, and looked back chagrined. She moved her chair so everyone could see.

On the screen was the seminar invitation reply, "I used my real name and credentials to attend the seminar."

She watched as Diggle pinched the bridge of his nose and Roy clenched his jaw. Oliver and Thea just looked at her with expressions seemed very close cousins of pity.

That set her off, her sheepishness forgotten, "It didn't occur to me that he'd put two and two together when he was investigating the Count. It's not like we went into this half cocked or anything, we planned this and it was one dumb mistake. You guys make mistakes all the time..."

"There's no need to get defensive, Felicity." Diggle said calmly, "Like you said, it was a mistake, one any one of us could have made, and it's understandable considering everything you've been though."

She wasn't sure whether what Diggle said made her feel better or worse. She got up and started walking towards the stairs, "I'm just going to get some air, I'll be back in a minute."

The door closed with a resounding slam behind her as she breathed out into the chilly air. Now that she was away from everyone, she didn't know how to feel about anything. Indignant, embarrassed, oh and don't forget tired. She was still so very tired. She wondered when she'd feel normal again, or if that would ever even happen.

The door creaked behind her and she flinched back slightly on alert. Oliver slid through the door and closed it gently behind him, "Hey."

"Hey," she said back. She looked at him briefly, and then found that she couldn't hold his gaze. So maybe embarrassment was at the forefront.

Oliver tilted her head back up to look at him, "No one blames you, they're just worried about you. You know that right?"

"I guess it just didn't feel that way," Felicity said back dejectedly.

"That's probably because most of the time you're used to being the smartest person in the room."

She rolled her eyes at him and he chuckled, "Its true. And when you're not, you work extra hard to be what people need. But this time that didn't work out for you because you got so caught up in what you were doing that you didn't take care of your own needs and you slipped. What Dig said wasn't to placate you, it IS understandable considering what you went through. You're not a machine, however much you think those computers are your babies."

She smiled softly at him, "I don't remember you being this insightful or reasonable. When did that happen?"

"It probably started when I asked for help with a bullet ridden laptop." He gave her a heart warming smile that made her blush.

"Smooth." Her voice was teasing and light. She marveled in the way he could make her feel so much better so quickly.

He winked and gestured to the door, "Come on, we've got work to do."