I'm not dead. I'm here.

(10)

"Hey," I heard him say, slowly, cautiously; he probably knew that I knew. "I got your note," or maybe he didn't.

"When were you going to tell me, Stephen?" The tone of my voice was clipped, stressed and heavy with disappointment. I locked eyes with him and watched as his expression turn from confusion to realization to...fear. And then it went neutral.

He wordlessly crouched in front of me and reached out to touch my hand. I tightened them to ball of fists, causing my finger nails to dig painfully into my palms. But that didn't resemble any closely to the pain I was feeling inside.

"Why?" I asked again and this time my voice was barely a notch above a whisper.

"I wasn't lying-"

"I never said you lied," countering, I drew an inch away from him. "You didn't tell me who you are. Why?"

"Would you have come with me if I had told you who I am?" his words were oddly calm, but his eyes said otherwise.

"No," I shook my head. "You could have convinced me, though. Like you do with everything else."

"I could have-"

"You could have but what was the fun in there, huh?" I chuckled, a sad attempt to cover the pathetic sounds which threatened to rise up my throat and show Stephen how weak I was. "Are you having fun right now? Did you want to see me like this or-"

"Randy!" he was sharp at that time. "It was never about fun. It was... It was work."

"Then it should have stayed work. You shouldn't have had me in your palm like that-like this, in fact. If I weren't, I'd have already left you," I hissed, curling into a ball. "You never should have kissed me," I whispered, resting my chin on my balled fists.

"I know...and I'm sor-"

"Don't say sorry because it doesn't make time go back and undo what you did," I knew I was being selfish. Blaming him for whatever the relationship we had was downright cruel. It took two people to workout a relationship. But wasn't it cruel to lead me on a lie? The relationship was a lie. There was nothing me or he could get out of this. Not when Stephen had been using me to find out all the information he would tell Hunter.

"What... What do you want me to do?" He breathed, a pained look taking over his handsome face. I punched myself mentally for thinking of his looks at a situation like this.

"Go jump off a cliff," I muttered, looking out into the ocean. It wasn't long before my vision got invaded with Stephen's figure.

The next second he jumped right off the cliff we were sitting on top of, right in front of my eyes.

It took ten seconds for me to get a grasp on what happened. And then I was shooting off the ground, screaming his name as I followed him-right off the cliff.

I never meant what I said. I did not think that Stephen would take it seriously. How could he not think that I was...just saying it? Who in their right mind would do something like this?

Coldness engulfed me as my body hit water. I thrashed around before calming myself, trying to focus on my surroundings before surfacing.

"Stephen!" I shouted, panting heavily. There was water in my ears, nose and some in my eyes making it hard for me to find him or hear his voice. "Stephen!" I shouted again, twirling around once, seeing nothing but water and the shore ahead before diving in again. My eyes started to sting as soon as salt water rushed up against them. There was a second of doubt in my mind that I'd fail in finding him, and then I was moving faster, determined to find him.

It literally felt like hours searching for him. Swimming down into the water and then shooting up just for a second to get some air... I was on the verge of tears when I came back up for the last time. I couldn't find him...

"Rand-" I chocked on my own spit; I couldn't find him. "Randy," my head snapped to the direction my name was being called. And he was there, holding on to a rock about ten feet away. I let out a cry of some unusual sound and dove right in, swimming as fast as I could to get Stephen.

And when I got there, it wasn't him that clung on to me. It was the other way. Bracing myself against the rock, I touched his face, and then everywhere I could reach for, checking if he was hurt. I could find none for the time being. I looked at his wide, frightened eyes, pupils dilated and a faint shivering in his body although the water wasn't cold enough for that kind of reaction. Then I remembered that he was afraid of the sea. And now he was trapped in the middle of it. He probably didn't know how to swim; or he was too scared to at the moment.

"It's gonna be alright," I spoke as softly as I could, curling my fingers around one of his wrists. He didn't believe me, hence why he didn't let me take his hand. "We have to get to the beach, baby," I caressed his hand, hoping he'd relax. I could almost taste his tension.

"You trust me, yeah?" a tiny nod made me exhale deeply. He wasn't in shock, thank god. "Then give me your hands," he hesitated, his eyes moving from my face to my hand. "Come on, you're gonna have to hold on to my shoulders if you want to go to the shore," he inched closer, finally moving, even if he was slow. I turned my back to him, turning my head so I could still see him. "I won't let you drown, I promise."

For once our roles were reversed. It wasn't him guiding me of what ; it was I leading the way. "Good boy," I caressed the skin of his arm as both of them circled around my shoulders in a death grip. "Not too tight," I added, when his grip almost choked my windpipe. And about half an hour later-which should have been a ten minute swim-we reached the shore.

A moment of silence passed after I helped him to lie down on the sand. Slightly panting, I knelt next to him and stared at his paler than normal face. His breaths were harsh and shattered, coming out faster but it slowed down, eventually going back to normal.

"Rand-"

"You son of a bitch!" My palm connected with his cheek. "What the fuck were you thinking?!" I climbed on top of him, grabbing the front of his wet shirt and shaking him hard.

"There are kids-

"I don't fucking care!" I almost shrieked. "You think you could get away that easily by jumping off that fucking cliff?! Well, you thought wrong, mister-"

"But you told me to-"

"Just because I said it-" he suddenly straightened up, grabbing my hips and pulling me flush against him. His lips smashed against mine taking the breath out of me. And I thought I was going to shove him away. Instead I was pulling him closer, moving my lips against his, knitting my fingers through his hair.

"Fuck you," I mumbled against his lips, biting his bottom lip. He gave out a small smile.

"I want that too," he whispered, his hands cupping my ass before quickly coming back up to rest on my hips. "But we can't do it here since there are kids playing around."

"And if there weren't you would?" I cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Why not?" I rolled my eyes. "You do realize that you were sitting on a cliff, right? And you jumped off one to save me." That sounded cheesy.

I looked back at the cliff. "Yeah..."

"You're afraid of heights," he stated.

"And you're afraid of the sea," I cocked my head to the side. I jumped off a cliff for him and he jumped into the sea for him. If I weren't disappointed at him at the moment I'd have laughed. And never in my life had I thought I'd jump off a cliff for someone else let alone for myself. Guess you could probably say the same thing.

I shook my head slowly, sliding off Stephen's body and headed over to our cabin. I heard him stumbling behind me but I didn't look back for him. I'd need time to adjust. But with Stephen, I'd never know. Like that bastard would even let me sulk in my misery for ten seconds.

"You know how I... How the house lives, Randy. You saw them with your eyes and I'm sure you weren't stupid enough to believe that the house ran on charity event money. It wasn't like we'd make millions from charity and how many events do you think we can have before it gets ridiculous?" He sighed, running a hand through his damp hair. If I hadn't been been to the house I'd have probably thought of him lying. He was staring at me in the mirror, his back to me as he braced against the sink. I stripped off my clothes and dumped them in a bin nearby with Stephen's clothes, the sand in them making it unable to put them in laundry.

Even though Stephen had hid something from me he has never lied; that fact alone was enough for me to believe him. But the hurt was too much to forgive him.

"I used to travel everywhere, like I do now, with you," he glanced sideways at me as I wrapped a towel around my waist. "And do whatever job I could find. It was too late when I realized that being an artist would only get one person in a thousand to somewhere in this world."

"So you decided to kiss my step dad's ass," I finished.

And I hurt him. I could see something in his eyes that I had never seen before.

"I don't work for him," he whispered.

I whipped him around to face me. "Then why was he calling you? And why did he say he was waiting for you?"

"I can't tell you that," he let out a frustrated sigh.

"You better have a good reason to tell me why not," I practically growled, squeezing his bicep in anger. He probably didn't even feel it by the expression of his face.

"Randy please," he nearly plead. "I can't tell you anything. But just know that I don't work for Helmsley. He just thinks that I am. I haven't given him any information other than where we're heading."

"He knows," I said in a somewhat calm voice, forcing myself not to overreact like a brainless blonde. "He knows that we're together."

Stephen's bright green eyes widened, and then narrowed. "How..."

"He was there at the house. Right outside the gates. He obviously knew we were going there and," I looked at Stephen, "He must have guessed... For you to take me to your home... We ought to have something special. It wasn't an ordinary house after all."

"Why are you telling me this now?" He asked, and then noticed the look on my face. His ducked his head like a kicked puppy. "Sorry," a mumble. "I really am."

I sighed heavily. "You had your reasons."

"So... I'm forgiven?" He dubiously voiced.

"No," I said sharply. "You still hurt me. And your usual tickle torture won't get you off the hook that easily."

"But I jumped off a cliff for you," he unintentionally pouted and I had to drop my eyes to the floor before I hugged the life out of him.

"Stephen, if you ever listen to what I say again I will kill you myself," I grumbled. His arms locked around my waist. "No," I pressed my palm against his lips. "Not now."

"But you just told me to never listen to what you say," he said, his words muffled behind my hand.

XXX

"Randy," I looked at Dave with narrowed eyes, the same ones I had used on Stephen for the past ten minutes. "What the hell are you doing?" He was probably referring as to why I was sitting at the furthest corner from Stephen in the motel room; the window sill.
"He has been trying to tickle me and get me to laugh for the past two days," I grumbled pointing an accusing finger at Stephen who rolled his eyes at me from the bed.

"If you're gonna be stuck with Randy for the rest of your life you better know how to handle him because ain't no tickling is gonna make him stay, boy," Dave advised Stephen while my face flushed with red hot anger. "White chocolate covered strawberries always do the trick though," he added, grinning.

"DAVE!" I suddenly regretted staying furthest from the two goons because I'd have the chance to kick my so called supportive big brother a kick in his ass.

"What?" He looked at me, amused.
"Strawberries is not going to work this time," I deadpanned.

Dave's eyes snapped to Stephen's, his expression replacing with deadly seriousness. "What did you do?"

"I... I-" Stephen stuttered. It was like they were giving me a preview of what happened in their high school life.

"The idiot jumped off a cliff," I said, not really wanting Dave to snap Stephen's neck. I would have liked it two days ago though. "Because I told him to."

"That is why you've been mad at him for this whole time?" Dave asked slowly in a low tone. He was obviously irritated.

"No actually-" Stephen interrupted.

"Yeah, that's it," I finished for him, casting a glare at his direction.

"You should be glad that he does everything you say-"

"I'm not a puppet," Stephen growled.

"-because Barrett didn't do that for you," Dave finished.

"Daaaaaave," I whined, sliding down the sill and walking over to my duffel bag. "You never stop."

"Are y'all talking about Wade Barrett?" Stephen questioned curiously.

"Yes, we were talking about Wade Barrett and no, we are not talking about him anymore," I jumped in before Dave could say anything else.

"What about him?" Stephen asked anyway.

"He was Randy's ex."

"DAVE-"

"What!?" Stephen exclaimed, cringing out of the bed. "But he was a pedophile!"

"No he's not," Jeebus. Him and Dave both were the same.

"See? Now someone other than me said it too, now you're still saying I'm lying?" Dave raised his eyebrows at me. I shook my head, shoving my wallet down one of my pockets and phone in the other.

"Trust me, I know. He never wanted you unless you had...assets. And I'm not talking about wealth." Stephen mumbled, and I realized that not only me but he had experiences with Wade too. I sighed. "How old were you."

"13."

"Almost 14," I murmured to myself. I was caught in a bear hug when I turned around and for a second I was stunned, before I slowly wrapped my arms around him, burying my face at his neck and clutching handfuls of his shirt.
"Okay, it's over now get off me," I pushed him away after about ten seconds.

"You're glowing," Stephen chirped. That was one for him and zero for me.

"And he's moody," Dave slung an arm over Stephen's shoulder. "You sure he's not pregnant?"

I punched Dave's shoulder hard. Not that he'd feel it, no.

"Nah," Stephen played along, grinning deviously. "Too soon."

Ignoring both of them I slipped into my shoes.

"Where are you going?" Dave popped up next to me.

"To see who Hunter is cheating with," I muttered.

"I'm coming," he said, brushing off the front of his shirt.

"I'm not going anywhere with you or that butthole over there," I replied.

"Why do you even think Helmsley is cheating on your mother?" Stephen frowned. I looked at him, speechless for a moment.

"Because I found out that he visits someone in a mansion downtown everyday and it's a woman."

"I thought he knew," Dave's eyebrows furrowed, looking between me and Stephen.

"He ought to know."

"What does that even mean?" Dave demanded.

"You can't go there," I heard Stephen jumping out of the bed. "Trust me. Please. You can't go there."

"What the heck is going on?!"

"I work for Helmsley, Dave," Stephen spilled. "Kind of... Sort of..."

"You knew?" Dave turned to me, his face tight and jaws ticking.

"Since two days ago, yeah," I sandwiched between Dave and Stephen, placing my hands on Dave's massive chest and pushing him back. "No, Dave-"

"You lied to him," Dave growled, his impatient hands trying to reach behind me.

"Dave, stop," I grabbed his face and made him look at me. "He almost died when I found it out. He literally jumped off a cliff at the beach just because I told him to. It's enough."

Dave stared at me like I was crazy. But his struggle has eased down. "He doesn't deserve you," and then turned to Stephen, "You disappointed me." I couldn't hold the awkward tension after that.

"I'm sorry, Dave... I...I wasn't supposed to tell," Stephen ducked his head, running a hand through his hair. "I don't directly work for Hunter. He just thinks I am."

"So you're lying to him too?" Dave hissed.

"Yeah," Stephen locked eyes with Dave. "He only knows where we're traveling to and nothing else. I do as my boss is told."

"Who...is your boss?" I frowned, catching his chin and making him look at me.

He shook his head, gently pushing my hand away. "I can't tell you."

I sighed frustratingly. "Let's go then. I can't waste anymore time."

"Randy," I stopped, my hand on the door knob. "I told you, you can't go there. At least not until 9," Stephen laced up his shoes. "Hunter's there."

"It's 8:15, if we walk, we'll get there on time," Dave grumbled, shooting a glare at Stephen. At that moment I knew I was going to get that atmosphere between him and Stephen for a very long time.

"Come on," I tugged at Stephen's hand and laced my fingers with him. His eyes were dark, and it wasn't the kind of darkness I'd get to see whenever he was on a intimate-bed-fest. It was the kind of look a man got when he was defeated. He squeezed my hand, but it was nowhere near the tightness he usually gave me.

We lingered in a cafe till it was 9:30, engulfed in tense dripping silence. I had never wished to get out of a place more than I ever did like there. I couldn't blame Dave for acting up his character as a big brother, but I couldn't see Stephen hurt either. We walked all the way downtown and Stephen lead us there like he had visited the place a thousand times. He probably had.

"Do we have to climb the wall?" Dave asked, looking up at the height when we reached the entrance.

"No," Stephen mumbled, going over to the right corner of the gate and pressing a button, saying his name. The gates opened automatically after two seconds.

"They just open the gates when you tell your name?" I raised an eyebrow.

"They can see us," Stephen replied, keeping his face neutral. And he was intending us to be the same. "And I've been here for years, so yeah, they know me."

"What do you mean you've been here for years?" I asked him, widening my eyes. So... the woman Hunter's cheating with was Stephen's boss?

"You'll see," he muttered before we were interrupted by someone who was driving a golf cart towards us came to our view. We were checked to see if we had any weapons before we were instructed to get on the cart with the security guard. I didn't realize my hands were trembling until Dave touched them, his hardened expression hinting at me to hold on. We were checked again at the entrance; for a moment I wondered if we were at the president's holiday mansion instead of some woman's.

I froze as soon as we entered. The walls were covered with pictures of Hunter with my mom, having family moments. I didn't remember any of them Maybe they were their private moments but... They looked new and... Why the hell was Hunter having them in this house? When he was living here with another woman?

"Oh my god," I heard Dave whisper as his eyes wandered around the wall just like mine.

My eyes snapped towards the direction when someone gasped.

"Ma'am," Stephen greeted at the brown haired, grey eyed woman who were staring at us in shock.

"Mom?!"