Disclaimer: I own nothing but the ideas that comes from the books...

A/N: I am still pretty much deathly ill – getting better, but still feeling like absolute crap! But still I would feel even worse if I didn't get this update out to you guys =) Thank you for the reviews – again I am so sorry for no review replies! When I am feeling better they will be back because you all deserve that individual appreciation =)

As for this, don't expect an instant happily ever after! This isn't going to be easy, but I hope it'll be worth it. I am now a woman with a plan and have an exact idea in my head of how to get it to the point you are all praying for it to go.

All I ask of you is to keep with it and have faith in me =)

My Own Fifty Shades – Chapter Ten

Hearing his front door open, Stephen felt his arousal grow, "Oh Rose, you're early." He smirked a little, "Maybe that beating last night really did put you back on the straight and narrow like the good old days."

Christian didn't wait for Taylor or Sawyer at that point. Hearing that was clarification for Christian and he became crazed and manic and just charged for the source of the voice. As soon as he was in his line of vision, Christian ran at Stephen and tackled him down to the kitchen floor, beating him senseless as soon as he could.

Taylor appeared with rope he had found in the main bedroom after being horrified with the amount of torture items that resided within, and he helped Christian tie the overweight male up to the oven knowing he wouldn't be able to move very far with that deadweight tied to him.

Both men knew that Ana's inability to know the entire list of ins and outs of this lifestyle had proven vividly. She had gone into the world consumed and overwhelmed and had gotten even more lost than ever. She had gone with the first offer and that was it. Her mental stability was gone when she had walked into this life and it had taken the harsh beating to wake her up to it enough to seek help.

For that, they would make sure Ana was never, ever going to have to deal with the life she had now her life with Stephen was ended.

Christian paced the length of the kitchen, taking in the overpriced, tacky kitchen and saw that unlike him, Stephen had too much money and didn't know quite what to spend it on. He plotted the multiple deaths of Stephen Davis while the main remained unconscious

Looking down, he remember Ana's vulnerably scared and weak body as it lay hurting in the hospital and even though he had disappointment in her, his hatred and disappointment in the man before him made him decide that Davis needed a slow and painful demise.

Christian was going to steal everything that made Davis the pathetic excuse of man he was – and he would do it with the utmost amount of glee.

He was going to drive the middle aged man to insanity.

Coming too, Stephen looked around and he didn't take look for him to feel anger overcome him when he watched Christian pacing the kitchen linoleum. His aching body, his throbbing head became the source of anger for him. "You're supposed to be dead!" Stephen snapped still disbelieving that after six weeks – two weeks of which Ana had been his – Christian Grey was still alive. "She's supposed to be mine now!"

That stopped the pacing and caused Christian's breathing to become even more erratic.

"She's no one's!" Christian growled because after all Ana was no sub, "You think she's a sub, she isn't! She is too fucking good to be anyone's sub. That's why she disobeyed in the end! That's why she ran. If she was your fucking sub she would have done everything you so desired, but you had to beat her back into submission." Christian spat out at Stephen, "But even that didn't work, she let me save her. She begged me to save her!"

"Bitch! She broke our contract!" Stephen struggled against his bindings.

"You mean this?" Christian asked having seen the contract sitting on the dining room table earlier he had placed it into his back pocket ready for the confrontation. He had to laugh, "It's not legally binding, they never are. It's the main clause in these," He waved it in front of Davis, but he could see the man before him didn't believe a word of it and so Christian used it as his biggest weapon. "You didn't even put this away for safe keeping. Then you wouldn't have to worry about this type of thing happening." Taking the contract in his hands, Christian ripped it apart in front of Stephen only riling the man furthermore. Christian didn't need a psych evaluation to prove this man was mentally messed up to see how attached he had grown, but he had to wonder if it were more to the piece of paper or Anastasia.

Stephen fought his bindings and got angrier the more he realised he would not be getting free any time soon. He hated to be the trapped one for once and he felt his anger boil.

Leaning in, Christian was too calm all of a sudden, "What you did was abuse and you will get what's coming to you. I will make sure everyone knows your sordid little secret."

"I can out you too," Stephen sneered at him, "I know you're one of us, Christian. You might not have used an agency, but we're all the same."

No, we're not.

Christian laughed a little with the irony. Stephen obviously didn't know how easily Christian could hide everything he had that linked him to a BDSM lifestyle. Not only that, but he didn't know how different their leagues were in this world – Christian had a heart, he cared. "How are you going to prove that?" Christian asked lowly. "What proof do you have to back that claim up?" He saw Stephen struggle, "Well?" The same struggle continued, "Yeah, I didn't think so." Looking up, he straightened up, "We're going now."

Christian didn't feel like he was done, but he needed to be close to Ana. He needed to get an explanation out of her for why she went this far this time. He needed her to tell him everything so he could decide his next plan of action. Right now he was between truly disgusted and being the man that just wanted to wrap the woman he loved up and take her away from all of the bad in the world.

As he turned to leave, he hated the inner battle that was occurring within him.

"I'll be back for her," Stephen commented as Christian went to leave the room entirely. Waiting on Christian to have his back turned before speaking out. It would goad the man before him; taunt him with details of the past, of the future. He would antagonise the man that was fleeing before him.

It was the wrong thing to say to an enraged Christian as he soon found out. Christian released another beating on Stephen so brutal that it took Taylor and Sawyer to pull him away. "I see you near Ana again and you'll wish your death could be made quick. Don't think I'm done with you. I plan to drag this out."

Leaving, Christian didn't think he could have felt more livid in his entire life.

Christian knew he had to shower before going back to the hospital. He needed to wash Stephen's blood from his body and cleanse himself before facing the love of his life and hoping it got the version of her he wanted.

Anastasia, the innocent.

Not Anastasia, the submissive.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- My Own Fifty Shades -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Ana had been awake for a while and she was thankful to be alone. Her mind was a live wire with thoughts and she was settled for the first time to know that Christian was actually alive. However, the seed of doubt took over as she realised he would know what she had done and to what extent and he would hate her. He would never be able to forgive her. He would shun her and she would lose him anyway – like she deserved.

She didn't want to think about when that talk would come, but clearly Christian had other ideas as he brought it up the moment he entered the room. It was now or never. Looking at him, she could see how worked up he was, how he wasn't ready for excuses or defiance. He just wanted answers.

"How did you get so hurt? That's not what that lifestyle is about, Ana, you know that. Christ, you know that more than anyone! We do it for pleasure and pain, but not to cause this much damage," His heart bled to see her looking so weak and fragile, but he had to work through his anger now or it would turn cataclysmic and he didn't want that.

"I never used the safe word," Ana told him quietly, her gaze dropping so it looked at the bottom of her bed and not at Christian. She didn't care if it was just a white plastic board that she saw, but it was better than the beating she took from his gray graze.

Christian gasped in horror, "Never?" He asked her, his anger building at the thought of what she had be subjected to. He saw her shake her head, "Why the hell not, Ana?"

Looking up at the man she truly loved, she spoke, "Because when I was in there, I was with you. I didn't want to leave." She blinked her tears away, "He never knew to stop because I never told him to."

"For fuck sake," Christian growled, tearing at his hair, "How could you be so fucking stupid, Anastasia?! How could you do this to yourself when that life isn't for you? I told you that when we first started. I never expected you to do that stuff because I didn't see you as a sub!"

"I wanted control!" Ana shouted back at him, the tightness in her chest proving evident, but she pushed through the pain. "I did it so I could get control of my life. Like you wanted when you were younger! I needed that control and I knew I would get money from it. I was selfish to think it, but I've felt like I'm losing everything and that was my only way to move on and be close to you. To forget you and remember you all at once. To get a home and find some reason to just move on."

"Fuck!" Christian swore under his breath, "I don't think I've ever been so disappointed in you than I am right now," Christian said, his gaze on her hard and accusing.

Ana sucked in a deep breath, the crashing pain hitting her was worse than his death, worse than the beating had. "Yo-you're disappointed in me?" She asked, repeating his words at him. She flared her nostrils as the tears beckoned, "I-I," Her breathing got tight and all Ana could do was reach up and start ripping the wires from her chest. The walls were suddenly getting closer and she felt like her whole world was once again shattering down around her.

"Where are you going?" Christian suddenly snapped into reality and saw Ana ripping at herself angrily.

"I need to go," She said as she tore the IV from her vein and threw it down, ignoring her bleeding hand in the process and the now solid beeping of the heart monitor behind her as the wires lay strewn around her. She ignored every single pain and pushed through like she had learned to over the last two weeks. She had nothing left now, she knew that. Christian was disappointed with her and that was the hardest fact to face. If he was disappointed n her, she could only assume he hated her.

Yes, Ana, he hates you. You disgust him. You disappointed him. You'll never be able to be with him now because of your own idiocy.

"You're not going anywhere," Christian moved around to her bedside and fought to keep her there. "Why would you need to go anywhere?"

Christian was shocked when she looked up to him, her blue eyes bright and wide. The tears rimming them, her soul bearing through and he could see his Ana trapped within the victim of her outer shell. That alone terrified him.

"I've lost you anyway so what's it matter if I stay here?" Ana breathed heavily. "I was destined to lose you all along. I don't want to be here anymore, Christian. I want to go home. I need to get out of here," Ana pressed against his hold, trying to get free. "I can't be here if I'm a disappointment to you. I can't take that, Christian. I can't be here if that's how it is between us. I don't want to know I've done this to us."

"You are not leaving my sight, you are staying here and we're getting you better," Christian fought back at her once again. He might have said he was disappointed in her, but his heart hurt at the idea of being separated again.

Obviously caught in her own mental down fall, she continued, "Stephen still has our contract. He'll take me back. He can finish me off and then you can really be done with me." Her eyes glazed over as she continued, "If I don't safe word it'll be over. All of this can be over."

Christian's breathing became rapid and ragged at the idea of allowing her to go back to the lion's den.

"He has no contract. I destroyed it, Ana. You were never his to do this to," Christian said realising that his anger filled outburst had just helped her spiral out of control into her own warped sense of depression. He had just made it worse. "It's broken. You belong to no one."

Looking at Christian, her lip quivered, "Elena said you would be proud of me," She broke into sobs, "She said he was a good guy and he would look after me. She said that this would be the making of me. It isn't. I don't want this life. That isn't what I really want. I just wanted you, but you left me. They told me you died, they told me you were gone," She looked to him, keeping his eye contact with hers, "I ruined us didn't I? You're angry and disappointed with me for the right reasons," Ana sobbed at him. "You'll never want me after this because I'll be ruined and that's why we can never be the same again. I'm sorry, Christian. I just wanted to be near a part of you because I didn't have you with me, but look what I've done. It was all pointless. I killed me for self preservation and look where it got me. Nowhere but hell."

Christian was shocked at the amount of grief that Ana was harbouring still and he vowed to get her through it all. After all, he couldn't ignore that the amount of love she had was just pouring out in her tears. He knew he could only love and support her back just so he could get her back. He had a future to set up with her after all and he wasn't going to miss out on that. If he did this, he would solve his own inner demons that were set loose because of this. He had to be a better man for Ana now.

Stopping her rant, he moved a little closer. "Can you listen to me for a moment, Ana?" Christian asked her, not touching her just yet but keeping his distance so they could talk part of this out. Watching her nod at him, he took a deep breath; "I'm angry with myself more," Christian broke before her. "If I hadn't have given you that contract when we met we wouldn't be here because you wouldn't know about that life."

"I chose wrong, I know that, but," She sucked in a deep breath before continuing, "It kept me with you a little while longer. When I couldn't get you back."

"And now you have me back," Christian made that sound like a forever pledge, one he wouldn't break for life. He watched her look up to him, her eyes wide with fear and he just took her in his arms and held onto her protectively.

"I just want to be me again," She cried into his shoulder. "That's all. I just want to be me and us again, Christian."

"And you will be, I promise you that, but for now we have to look after you and get you better," He told her as they pulled apart not really ready for the separation. "We'll always be us, that never changes," He vowed to her and got up. "But we need to get you resting." He moved the sheet and Ana wordlessly listen and allowed him to get her settled. Christian looked up as his mom entered just as he got Ana covered and comfortable and he couldn't have agreed with her timing more.

"Ana," Grace uttered as she saw the state of Ana. "We need to get you cleaned up. I don't know what's happened, but you need to rest and you need to let us keep you monitored for a couple more days." Grace spoke professionally, only assuming that Ana had done this herself seeing the mess she was in as a result.

Her face was red and blotchy; her eyes still crying steady tears. Grace noted her laboured breathing, her look of utter pain.

"I'll be outside," Christian muttered and looked to Ana who was trying not to look at him. What he would give to have the innocent, untouched Ana here – The one that bit her lip intentionally and rolled her eyes at him. Christian got up, leaving Ana with Grace and decided that Elena needed a phone call.

That would be another step closer to getting Ana back.