Author's note: back again I know you're probably getting tired of me by now right. Anyway here's the next part. I'm thinking one more chapter then I'm not sure. This one is kind of long but I couldn't break it up anyway and it still sound right. Thanks for the reviews alerts and favorites they mean a lot to me. Now on with the show.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Confessions

Somedays we forget
To look around us
Somedays we can't see
The joy that surrounds us
So caught up inside ourselves
We take when we should give.

Josh Groban, singer

Noel album

She chanced a look into his eyes and felt the electricity flow through her body at his touch. She couldn't pretend that having him hold her didn't feel right. The fact that he dropped everything to save her should have proved to her that he still cared, but it only served to confuse her all ready over loaded mind.

Softly she said, "Put me down please Morgan."

He wished she wouldn't have said that, but he wouldn't push she meant too much to ruin things farther. Therefore he gently sat her back on her feet trying not to let the aguish show in his eyes, at the response she gave him. No snappy retort about how she knew he'd always wanted her that way, no nicknames falling from her red stained lips.

Everyone could feel the tension permeate the air around Morgan and Garcia. They watched Penelope take three steps away from him trying to put distance between them both literally and emotionally.

Thankfully Jack came running in excitement pumping through his tiny body, "Daddy, Daddy you'll never guess?"

Hotch looked down at his son, "Guess what Jack?"

"Cookies, sweets, in kitchen," Jack exclaimed happily bouncing from one foot to the other.

Hotch knew when he left that morning only a few sweet's occupied his cabinets. Jack was hyper enough without them. His dark brown eyes lifted to the three women currently acting as though they were busy placing items around the apartment, fixing lights, and straightening garland on the tree. He found their behavior highly amusing.

"Now which one do I have to kill for bringing sweets into this apartment," Hotch asked, though humor showed in his voice.

They each pointed at each other, grin's lightening their faces.

"Couldn't help it Boss man, its Christmas," Penelope answered a sheepish smile on her face.

Hotch laughed, his first real one and it felt good, "No harm done, yet," he retorted, "but when he's on his sugar high you three get to bring him down."

Once boxes were put away, the latter returned to the maintenance man and a pot of coffee going, they sat down with said coffee in hand and their chosen sweet.

"Reid was telling us that you had an idea for Christmas this year, Penelope," Rossi said taking a bit of his chocolate chip cookie.

Penelope looked towards Reid who sat between Rossi and Hotch, before saying, "It's just an idea really I wasn't sure if anyone would go for the idea."

"Actually it makes perfect sense," Emily stated glancing around the room.

"How, so Em?" Hotch asked his eyes coming to rest on her.

"We've lost each other this year bit by bit we've pulled away. It's time to get back to where we were before," Emily answered stopping herself from saying Foyet's name.

"She's got a point really, we've fell out of touch with each other. Making work the priority not that it shouldn't be, but family needs to be top," JJ voiced making her opinion known.

"All right then where do we celebrate the coming holiday? Who's got a house big enough?" Derek said, making Penelope's head snap towards him, surprise written in her brown eyes.

Rossi thought about it a minute then decided that his cabin needed filling and would fit the bill just perfectly. "There's this place not far, we could stay there."

"Your cabin right?" Hotch asked a slight grin on the edge of his lips.

Rossi nodded, "There's room for everyone and besides it hasn't been used in awhile."

"Then do we make this a vacation?" Emily asked.

"Why not that is if we can stand each other for that long," Penelope joked earning herself a napkin to the face from Emily.

"Can I go to?" Jack asked looking up at his father.

"Of course Jackers it wouldn't be Christmas without you buddy," Hotch replied looking down at his son.

"When do we come back?" Reid asked, before taking a sip of his coffee.

"We don't have to be back at work till the Monday after Christmas, so what about Sunday afternoon late," JJ offered looking at her watch.

Everyone nodded in agreement, but it's Derek who asks, "When do we leave?"

"What about Monday gives up each enough time to prepare, finish any shopping we have and get packed," Penelope answered, her curiosity over why Derek wasn't going home for Christmas just barely contained. She hoped that nothing had happened to put a strain on his relationship with his family.

"Then everything's settled?" Rossi asked, when he got nods of affirmation he continued, "Good then I will see you all on Monday afternoon. I'll give Aaron the directions, and leave tomorrow afternoon to ready the house."

"Oh that note Will's waiting on me to," JJ said standing.

Penelope held out her hand for the coffee mug, but its Hotch's voice that say's, "You don't have to pick up Garcia I can do that."

"None sense Boss Man," Penelope answered picking up another mug before heading towards the kitchen. In reality she didn't want to be left alone with Morgan either by accident or design.

Aaron watched her go an eyebrow raised in concern. Leaning closer to Emily he asked, "Did something happen between Morgan and Garcia?"

"You could say that," Emily answered vaguely. She turned to leave, and then caught a glimpse of Morgan walking towards the kitchen she turned back and said, "I'd be careful with those two, Hotch." This time she did leave following Reid out.

Quietly he walked into the kitchen and just watched her work, rinsing the coffee mugs before putting them into the dishwasher packing away the sweets out of Jack's reach. Rossi's words came back to him in that moment.

"I meant what I said Penelope. You promised to never stop taking to me," Derek said leaning against the cabinet arms crossed over his chest.

Penelope had felt him walk into the room though she didn't give anything away. She just stiffened her back trying to push away her thoughts, but that was before he spoke. After he did her will started to crumble, so she said nothing just kept cleaning up, so Hotch wouldn't have to.

"Damn it woman I'm sorry. What more do you want from me blood," Derek exclaimed anger and fear warring within him.

Slowly Penelope turned her face devoured of all emotion, though inside she was a raging mess. She wanted to strike out at him, cause him just as much pain as he'd caused her. But she held it together she wouldn't break not in front of him and not where Jack could see her.

Softly she said, "You told me you were done, so I'm taking your word for it. We're through nothing more nothing less, nothing but co-workers now professional in everyway. Now if you'll excuse me Agent Morgan I would like to say my goodbyes to Jack and Hotch before going home."

He felt like he'd been kicked in the gut by her response. Even though she showed no anger or pain he could see the emotions just barely covered behind her eyes. He wanted to grab her and shake her until some sense came into her head. Instead he let her pass without even a single word. His whole world the best part walked out maybe for good this time.

Hotch saw her come out of the kitchen tears only just barely held back she kneed in front of Jack, and took him into her arms.

"See you soon Jackers, be good," she whispered before releasing him, standing and reaching for her coat.

Which Hotch had grabbed and helped her into it, then whispered into her ear, "Let him redeem himself Penelope. No matter what has happened you can't live with things as they are, you'll regret those choices in the end."

Penelope turned to face him a single tear falling from her eyes, "I don't know if I can Aaron."

The use of his first name came as a surprised to him, yet he felt the time had come, she was family, "You can and you need to. No matter what happens after that."

Penelope rested a hand on his shoulder, "You're a good man Charlie Brown, you'd be so good for Emily."

And before he could find out what she meant the door closed behind her with a soft snap.

JJ entered their apartment grocery bags in hand and called out, "Will I'm home."

He came around the corner, and took the bags off her hands, "How was your time with the girl's?"

"Good," came her response as she dropped her purse and keys on the entryway table.

"I was thinking for Christmas we could fly down the New Orleans visit my family for a few days before going up to yours."

"Will," JJ said entering the kitchen a serious expression on her face.

He turned to her, "Here it comes."

"What do you mean?"

"Something's come up hasn't it?"

She shook her head, "It's nothing like that Will. Penelope…" she paused searching for the right words, "she invited the whole team for Christmas and Rossi offered his cabin for the week."

"So you're choosing them over me," Will accused narrowing his eyes.

"I didn't say that Will."

"But it's what you thought and decided all ready," he shot back.

"Yes I've decided to take them up on the offer. The team needs this Will we're falling apart."

"And us, what about that JJ. Do we not matter?" he asked waving his hand back and forth between them.

"Yes, no I don't know Will. Right now I feel like things are all wrong between us. All we do is fight; maybe a little time apart would do us some good."

"So what you want me to move out is that it?"

JJ shook her head, "No I think it would be a good idea if you went to New Orleans spend some time let me get things strait in my head. Then we'll see where that goes from there."

Will nodded, "I don't like it JJ but I will give you the space you need. All I asked is take care of Henry for me and let him know that I love him. I hope you find the peace you crave."

JJ watched him leave and hung her head hoping that she was doing the right thing.

Meanwhile Derek had left Hotch's apartment Penelope's words running through his mind. He felt sick like a part of him was ripped out and an un-repairable whole slowly consumed the rest. He knew deep down in the place he kept hidden away from everyone that he needed her. She was his life line away from the darkness that threatened to swallow him whole.

Reid's words came back to him. He hadn't fought for her the last time had let his own insecurities over rule his heart, but this time he couldn't let that happen not again. If he did it may truly be the end of them.

Jerking the wheel around Derek headed towards her apartment hell bent of getting everything out in the open.

Penelope had made it home, feeling that she'd accomplished her mission, to get the family back together, even if it meant she'd have to alienate Derek. She could do that, she'd have to do that. Sighing she dropped her purse on the table behind the couch her eyes catching the sight of a photo. Taking last year at Christmas Derek had his arms wrapped around her waist they looked happy and content with in each others arms. She remembered that night Kevin had begged off saying he didn't want to go had family things to do. So she went alone and had a wonderful time. They'd flirted with each other like old times and even danced together. The thought brought back the feeling of being held in Derek's protective arms from this afternoon. She swears she could still feel his strong arms wrapped around her. The memory of his dark chocolate eyes piecing hers before she asked to be put down still sent shivers up her spine.

But that was in the past now all of it their friendship, their banter, and nicknames. He'd be Morgan to her forever more. She picked up the frame and laid it face down to painful to look at anymore.

A loud knock echoed around her silent apartment breaking her out of the depressing thoughts whirling around in her head. Stepping forward she peaked through the peep whole and her breath caught in her throat.

'Couldn't he just drop it?' she asked herself refusing to answer.

"Come on Baby girl open the damn door I know you're in there. Don't make me kick it in," came his voice an edge to the tone.

"I told you before Morgan it's done now leave me be," Penelope returned walking away.

"No can do sweetness now either open this door be the talk of your apartment building for a long time to come."

She shook her head, yet stood unmoving towards the door, "Go away."

"I'm not leaving we have to talk."

"We're through talking."

"Damn it you are so stubborn Penelope Garcia," he yelled anger filling his voice.

"I don't give a damn Morgan, now leave before my neighbors call the cops," she shot back walking towards her bedroom hoping that he'd give up. The key in the lock told her other wise.

When the door opened her breath caught in her throat. He looked like a loin ready to charge his prey, yet it was his eyes that made her swallow hard. Those bright chocolate orbs were clouded with pain and sadness not just anger and she knew that she was the reason for it.

He slammed the door behind him, breathing coming out in short rasps.

"Wake the dead why don't you Morgan. You know I do have neighbors who like a little peace and quiet."

He waved off her comment, with a question of his own, "Why?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Why did you choose Lynch over me?"

Penelope turned away she didn't and wouldn't answered that question. However, she didn't get two steps away before Derek was there turned her around, his hands on either shoulder forcing her to look at him.

"I want an answer Penelope no more games. I'm tired of this dance it ends here and now."

Suddenly Hotch's words came back to her and she turned away afraid to let loose her fears.

"Damn it Penelope stop hiding from me and tell me why," he said giving her a gentle shake.

"You don't want me," she responded in a pained voice tears filling her eyes.

He stood there shocked by her words. Not want her is she for real.

"I don't know what would make you think that, but it's a lie."

She twisted until finally he let her go. She paced never once looking over at him.

"A lie hu," she began tears pushed aside anger in its place, "it's no lie. You don't see me that way you never have and you never will. That's why you didn't take my advice that's why you pushed me out of your life. You wanted a clean start. You…"

He stopped her there, had heard enough, "Hell yes I wanted a clean start, but not for the reasons you think," he hissed coming to stand in her way.

She looked up at him her pride causing her to stiffen her back, "And those reasons are?"

"Because I couldn't have the one thing I wanted most in my life. She was with another man," he answered sorrow filling his voice.

Penelope shook her head trying to get the cobwebs out, she could swear she didn't hear right. "Maybe it's because you really didn't want her to begin with."

Derek shook his head, "No I've wanted her a long time, and I was just too big of a coward to admit it. I wasn't sure if she loved me back I couldn't take that risk and loose her and my heart."

Penelope's eyes snapped up to his. She could see the indecision written in the dark depths and it made he ache to touch him, to heal the wounded soul that he clung to.

"Did you ever think to ask her if she loved you back?" Penelope asked tears once again filling her eyes.

"She told me she loved me as I told her, but I think she missed understood the way I meant it. She gave up on me, for another man. Little by little we grew apart the distance eating away at my soul. But I blame my self for that I didn't fight for what I wanted, I didn't make her, you understand that I love you. Not friendly or sisterly love, but real earth shattering, mountain moving, forever kind of love."

Derek watched her face for any hint as to what she thought, he watched the tears spill from her eyes and cupped her cheeks in his warm hands wiping away the moisture and praying that he wasn't too late.