Chapter 10

Still sitting on his lap in the dark bathroom I shake my head confused, "save her? Do you have some kind of magic I don't know about?" I watch his face and suddenly he stands up sweeping me into his arms. He doesn't speak as he carries me back to my bed. I lie down and stare at him but he still says nothing. I let my head fall to my pillow and with his arms around me I drift back to sleep.

Again the dreams start, I am wandering through a large house, I hear loud voices. As I get closer I recognize Bill's voice. He is talking about telling someone something. I stand in the doorway as Elena moves toward me; she is yelling at him that she can't do that. Bill sneers that Rob knows about them anyway and at the moment Rose appears behind me, I hear her voice in my ear, "I see everything, never forget that." I jerk straight up in a dead sweat. Rob bristles and stirs while I stare into space. I pull away from him, I am so confused.

"Victoria?"

I don't turn my head but whisper to him, "Yes?"

"Another dream?" I nod and he sits up pulling me back to him. He pushes my sweaty hair off my face and gazes into my eyes. "You need to relax; you know that dreams are your subconscious trying to tell you something?" I turn my head to look at him. "Maybe you need to talk to someone, get what's bothering you out."

"Rob I can't do that, and I am fine."

"No you are not, these dreams I can see what they do to you. You look like you have seen a ghost." I bite my lip not sure how to tell him that is exactly what I keep seeing, Elena...the ghost of his past. How can I get her out of my head? "I have someone you can trust to talk to but for now, try to sleep."

I finally fall into a dreamless sleep only to wake up a few hours later as sunlight brushes over my face. I groan and roll over. Rob is gone. I lift my head yawning but he is not in sight. I grab my cell by the bed to check the time but it's dead. Shaking my head I sit up and reach for the charger cord. I plug it in and then stand up to head to the bathroom. As I stand up the room spins, "Whoa there, slow does it." I fall back into a pair of arms that were not there a moment ago.

I cringe as I realize I am in Bill's arms. "Let go of me."

"And let you fall?" His smirk makes me want to slap him but before I can Rob comes through my door with a tray. He looks at Bill and shakes his head. As soon as Rob puts the tray down he comes over to help. Bill lets me go and I stumble towards the bathroom with Rob's help. As I shut the door I hear Bill's voice, "Does she seem better to you?"

Rob answers loud and clear, "No she doesn't and you never said exactly what caused this. She is having nightmares and the fever seems to come and go. What was in that shot you gave her?"

"I told you, it was a birth control shot. Her body just needs to adapt to the extra hormones and it will in time. I won't make the same mistake again."

"Bill which mistake is that? Sneaking around with your brother's wife or getting her pregnant?"

"Victoria will be out here any minute; you want her to hear all this?"

"She knows the truth."

"You told her? All of it?"

I lean against the door holding my breath as I listen, "I told her about Elena and what happened."

"You didn't tell her about you and me?"

"No I didn't, I don't want to lose her."

"I don't want you to lose her that is why I gave her that shot. It will make sure she doesn't get pregnant."

I start to move my hand to the door knob but freeze as Rob speaks, "You need to warn me before you give her another one. And brother, touch her again and I will kill you myself. You stop telling her that she reminds you of Elena, this is Victoria and she is mine."

"Fine." Bill's voice sounds close as he replies to Rob then suddenly there is a pounding on the door. It scares me as Bill calls out to me, "Here Vicky you okay in there?"

"I am fine." I start to open the door, Rob is right there waiting for me but his eyes are on Bill. Bill is staring at me as I walk into the room. I feel like he is not seeing me but her. His eyes are wide then he grins at me making me feel strange. Its like he is undressing me with his eyes and I have to look away. I look towards Rob, his handsome face is clenched tight, and I can see the tension in his jaw as he finally looks at me. When our eyes meet his whole face softens, a look in his eyes so tender makes me breathless. He pulls me to the bed never looking away from me. As we sit down Rob finally breaks our eye contact to hiss at Bill, "remember what I said. Do what you need quickly, she needs to eat and rest."

Bill nods and then clears his throat. Rob reluctantly leaves, I watch him close the door. Bill moves in front of me taking my temperature again. As the thermometer is in my mouth he kneels between my legs. "You need to tell me what Rob told you. I can protect you, just say the word.

As soon as I can I shake my head at him, "Do not order me and I do not need you or want you to protect me. Protect me from what, from Rob? Can you protect me from you?"

"I won't hurt you." He moves closer to me, I can see in his eyes he is seeing her again.

I am done with this nonsense. I slap him hard, "look at ME! Me, Victoria! I am not ELENA!" My yelling brings Rob back into the room but I can't stop. "I am not her, please just leave me be."

Rob pulls Bill to his feet and pushes him out of my bedroom while I fall back on the bed crying. Shutting the door behind him Rob stares at me, "Baby are you okay?"

"No I am not; I want to seen as me not a ghost."

Rob moves to lie over me, he runs a finger down my face and whispers to me, "I see you. I see Victoria."

I turn my head to look up at him, "and do you want me?"

"You have to ask, would I be here if I didn't?" His eyes are a warm green and in them I melt. I reach up to grab his hair and pull him to me kissing him hard. He kisses me back just as eagerly pulling up my t-shirt so his hands rest on my bare stomach. I moan as he starts to move them up higher and higher as he whispers to me, "you are all I want."

"You are all I want Rob."

"Let me show you." I gaze at him between kisses; does he mean he wants me now? Wait outside the playroom and games, just him and I right now?

He starts to kiss me again and I get lost in him and his hot kisses that send sparks through my whole body. His hands move higher till his fingers brush over my breasts. I am so sensitive I moan against his lips at that touch. Then I feel his hands move to my t-shirt, a sharp ripping sound fills the air and my shirt is in two pieces. He moves down to cover my breasts with his hot kisses. I feel myself growing wet as his tongue caresses my nipples making them hard then I feel him bite them. Closing my eyes I moan out, "please Master don't stop."

Instantly his lips are on mine again...the kisses are hot, demanding as he moves his body between my legs. I feel him hard and ready grinding against me making my whole body shake then I hear his words, "No I am not Master, we are equals now. I am just Rob; I want to make love to you Vi. No toys, no games, just us."

His words make my heart jump as his touch makes my body tingle. Deeper and faster his kisses come until our tongues are entangled. I can taste him in my mouth. I moan again this time Rob grabs my TV remote and turns it on to cover our sounds as he grinds his body into mine hard. I put one leg over his leg as I grind back. He moves back to kissing my lips then starting moving down my neck. I close my eyes and then I feel him hesitate, he is kissing my neck but then I notice him stop. He takes a deep breath like sniffing me. I turn my head and see a dark look cross his face; his eyes go black and for a minute fear paralyzes me. He has a look like a crazed animal and he bites my neck but not hard enough to break the skin. It is so unexpected I cry out and feel myself cum hard. I shake in his arms and he keeps moving his kisses lower and lower. I can't speak to ask him what that was, that bite and sniffing me.

I am so lost, his tongue and lips reach my breasts. He takes my nipples one by one into his mouth tugging and rolling his tongue over them as I moan and wiggle under him. Each tug makes me moan and then I feel his hands ripping my shorts off. The sound makes me jump grinding up against him. His answer is to pin me down hard with his hands on both my hips. "You want me to keep kissing you...shall I taste you?"

I lean up and stare at him breathless, "Oh Rob, please. More." I barely recognize my voice as I beg for him to continue. It's hoarse and laced with need.

He moves his kisses over my belly biting and licking, before he reaches my clit he stops and takes another deep breath. I stare at him as he inhales my scent; my arousal is heavy in the air. He looks up meeting my gaze then holds our eye contact as he lowers his head. I cry out as the first touch of his tongue on me there is electric. I tingle everywhere then I feel his fingers moving up the insides my thighs. He moves his tongue over me and traces my lips there under I am almost bucking against his face. As I am about to explode again, he slips two fingers into me. I cry out his name reaching for his hair pulling it hard as I buck my hips against his face. Higher and higher, closer and closer to the edge he pushes me and before I come down he is pushing his tongue deeper and deeper while his fingers explore hard and fast. My body is singing under his touch and just before I explode again he moves away. I am too stunned to protest. I feel the bed move then the exquisite feeling of him deep inside me. I moan and stare up, his eyes are on me and he leans his head against mine. "You, what is it about you." He mutters softly moving slowing inside me. He rolls his hips in a circle while I moan. This is not like the other time, last time he fucked me but this time...its slow, its deep and its definitely making love. "Look at me Vi." I look up at his face and then run my eyes over his body. His body is so beautiful but my eyes are drawn lower and lower, I get lost watching his cock move and out of me over and over slow and deep. I moan and he moves slower. I watch as he slowly pulls out of me inch by inch then just as slowly impales me again. It is a delicious sight that I can't get enough of. "Are you watching me love you?"

I stare up at him hearing his words, love me? I whisper hoarsely my voice full of passion and ready to moan again at each of his movements inside me. "I am. I can't stop watching."

"Good, don't. I love watching too." His eyes go down and I get lost watching him watching us. Each move in and out of me, our bodies move so well together. It's not long until we are both moaning again. "Baby come with me. Look at me. I want to watch you cum." His words alone make me moan but then he pushes my thighs open wider and starts moving deeper. I get lost in his eyes and each thrust makes me wetter. I cry out again and again then I see his face flush red and as he explodes in me I detonate around him pulsating hard. We both cry out each other names. Our eyes are still locked and I see his eyes change again, they go black then back to green as he breathes hard. I breathe hard and fast then he collapses on me. We both lie quietly together just coming back down but I hear his voice soft but clear, "I don't want to say it yet but you have to know I feel it."

I know exactly what he means; I don't want to say those words to him yet either. To say I love you right now is too scary. It's too soon and I don't want him to say them just because I said it but I do feel it. I feel the love between us. In the way he has been caring for me, in his words to Bill that I am his and now in the tender way he made love to me. This was not just sex, this was two souls connecting. I whisper to him, "I feel it too; you don't need to say a word. Just hold me."

"I can do that." He pulls out of me to lie next to me wrapping his arms around me. Then I see him smirk at me, "wait did you just order me?"

I laugh, "It was more of a request than an order."

"I might like you ordering me. That is a first."

"Is that so? I can be bossy if you want."

"Wait did you just call me bossy? Your Dom is in charge not bossy." He grins at me.

"Bossy, in charge, all sounds the same to me." I grin back at him loving this moment. I feel so close to him, he kisses me then smirks.

He is about to speak when we hear a pounding on the door. Kari calls out, "Vicky you have a visitor."

I look at the door confused, who the hell would be here? Rob stands up and reaches into my dresser to toss clothes at me, I catch a t-shirt then he hesitates. "Hey I need shorts or something." I laugh but then I see him holding the file in his hand, the file with his name on it.

"What is this?"

Oh fuck! I freeze; I stare at him in panic. "That, Edward gave me that."

Rob tosses shorts at me then turns to lean on the dresser as he looks through it. He looks up at me after a few minutes, "did you read this?"

"Honestly, no. I read the one page but that is all." I want to cry, our tender moment is over. The spell is broken and it's Edward and that damn file's fault.

"Do you want to know the truth about me?" Rob's eyes are a deep green raging bright almost like a fire as he glares at me. He pulls on the clothes he threw on the floor.

"No I only want to know what you want to tell me. That is why I didn't read the rest of it."

"Victoria, do you want to read this or learn it from me?" I hear his voice change. Rob, my beloved equal is gone and Master Black is here now.

"I want to learn from you Master." He nods stiffly and without another word he rips the file in half then opens my door. I stare after him; I am still near tears as I look up.

In my doorway is a strange brunette, she looks familiar then I recognize her. It's Isabella, Edward's new girlfriend. What the fuck is she doing here? I stare at her, "Isabella?"

"Is this a bad time?" She fidgets in my doorway and jumps as Rob walks back into the room behind her.

He sits down on the bed next to me handing me a glass of water. He has a plate in his hand as well. I eye it as my stomach rumbles. I take the water from him as I shrug looking back at Isabella, "you have already interrupted, what do you want? And how did you find my place?"

"I followed Edward here."

"Are you a damn stalker? What do you want?" I see Rob give me a strange look. I don't know what to think of her showing up here.

"I just wanted to ask you if you are sure about leaving him. I don't want to have him dump me tomorrow when you run back to him."

I sit up straighter, now I am pissed. This little bitch comes here and demands answers of me, she ruined our moment and I don't hold back. "You have no right or invitation to be here. Does Edward know that you stalk him? I am not going to answer your questions, if you can't figure it out on your own maybe you shouldn't be with him? You blame me for him not what, running to you instead of coming to check on me. Grow up Isabella, look at yourself and your relationship with him and stop expecting help from me. You will be happier." I point at my door, "get out and don't come back."

She nods looking like a scared puppy, "you won't tell him I was here will you?"

"If he asks me I won't lie, maybe you should have worried about that before you stalked his ex-wife?"

"Fine, tell him then. When I give him the child he has always wanted you will lose him forever."

She turns and as she leaves the room Kari comes to my doorway with her eyebrow raised at me. "Was the Edward's new girlfriend?"

Rob leans closer to me seeming interested in my answer, "yeah I met her at the hospital yesterday. I think she is threatened by me."

Rob sighs, "I wonder why. Edward is here every chance he gets."

He pushes the plate at me, I nod and pick up the sandwich but before I take a bite I look at him, "not you too?"

Kari doesn't say a word but out of the corner of my eye I see her watching us intently. Rob nods, "Yes me too, he tells me how he still loves you and then basically tells me that he is just waiting for me to screw up. He is more than ready to jump back into your bed Vi."

"Well he will be out of fucking luck, that place is taken." I lean to Rob forgetting Kari. "Remember what I just said, I feel it and with you I can be me. I want that, I want you...I am not going back to being someone I am not."

Rob smirks at me and kisses me hard, "I remember but I like hearing it again, now you must be starving, I know I am. You eat that for now, I am going to run out and pick up a few things then bring you back a proper meal."

I blush at him and laugh, "That sounds great."

"I will surprise you then, back shortly." He kisses me then stops by Kari, "Would you like some too?" She nods seeming surprised to be included.

We both watch him leave and I sit back on the bed eating. Kari sits down on my bed, "so tell me please, did Rob kick his brother out?"

"Yeah he did, there is some issues there." I finish the sandwich and then a blog post fills my thoughts.

I start to stand up but Kari eyes me. "What are you doing? Aren't you supposed to stay in bed?"

"I want my laptop; I have an idea for my blog site."

"Let me get it." I sigh and then laugh; she disappears and come back with my laptop. "So you started a blog site?"

"Yeah I do, you want me to send you the link?"

"Sure if you want."

I nod to her and she leaves the room as I boot up my lappy. My mind is thinking of how Rob has been taking care of me. I pull up my blog site and see it has already been viewed quite a few times. I love seeing that and quickly bring up my email to send the link to Kari. Then I let my thoughts pour out onto my latest blog entry.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Trust can mean many things, to me it means being able to know that I can tell a person anything and they will hold it to themselves only. It also means that I know that person will never deliberately harm me; I can relax knowing I am safe with them. Trust is essential to a good relationship or friendship; it is the same with a Dominant/Submissive relationship.

You have to know that you can trust your Master to do a number of things. 1. To honor the terms of your contract, 2. To respect your limits and when you safe word to stop at once, 3. To hold what you tell him to remain between you two only and most important 4. To know that you are safe with him. He will not deliberately hurt you, any punishment is meant for learning purposes.

My Master surprised me by how loyally he honored the terms of our contract the first time I was sick during our time together. He came to me at once and did not leave me but tended to my care as a devoted nurse. As I watched him it occurred to me that he cared for me with the same care that I devote myself to him during playroom time.

Learning that he cared for me with the same level of devotion touched me in ways I did not expect. In most aspects of my life he is my main focus. He is the one I seek to please with all my actions and he is the one whose opinions matters. Is that wrong? I know we are not the normal "relationship" but it feels like maybe we are headed for something more than just Master/Sub. Maybe I am wrong but I am going to continue to devote myself to my Master fully in all that I am and all that I do.

I post it and then lie back on my bed reading through my emails. There is one from Mrs. Grey letting me know that she read the first blog post.

From: Anastasia Grey

Subject: Blog

Date: Feb. 5, 2013 15:00

To: Victoria Masen

I read your first blog entry, good and straight to the point. I look forward to reading more. The blog site has been added as a suggested link to Grey's Publishing online site. I will be interested to see how many views it receives.

Anastasia Grey

Editor, Grey's Publishing

I hug myself pleased with her response and I know when she sees the number of hits she will be pleased as well. I send her an email back.

From: Victoria Masen

Subject: Blog Views

Date: Feb. 6, 2013 13:43

To: Anastasia Grey

I just reviewed the hits and it seems we are having a fair amount of traffic to the site. I just completed another blog entry.

Victoria Masen

I send the reply then shut down my laptop and drift off while I wait for Rob.

I'm in a dark room alone but I feel like someone is watching me. I just can't shake that feeling. I look out the windows but its dark out, the sky is black without a star in sight and no light coming from the moon. I sigh and move to turn on the light, when I do I see him. Bill. He is standing against the wall. I scream but he just smiles at me, it's an evil smile and his eyes twinkle as he puts one finger over his lips shushing me. I run to the door but when I open it Rose is there blocking my escape. She won't move and as I push against her I am surprised how strong she is. I scream at her to move but she just laughs, the more I struggle the louder she laughs until I am covering my ears from it. I give up and turn to eye Bill. He is still against the wall. He beckons me to him but I shake my head no and move to the other side of the room. Then I hear him laugh and his words make me want to scream again and slap him, "You have nowhere to go to escape me. You can give in the easy way or the hard way, your choice but you will be mine."

"Vicky?" I hear another voice and in my dream I cry out to that person to save me but nothing comes out. I try again but still nothing. "Vicky, wake up." I scream out and then feel something cold against my face, I open my eyes and the vision fades. Kari is leaning over me, "thank god, you are awake. You were screaming, are you okay?"

I stare at her and feel my face wet, I take the cloth from her and quickly wash my face. I nod to her stiffly, "I am fine. Just a dream."

"A dream that makes you scream like you are being killed? You kept asking me to save you."

"It was just a dream."

The front door slams then and Kari pops out of my room. I hear voices and then Rob appears in my doorway with bags in hand. The smell of food fills my room and my stomach growls in response. He sits the bags down on my dresser and comes to me his face covered with a deep frown, "Kari said you woke up screaming?"

I nod and sigh, "Yes another very vivid dream."

"Okay you need someone to talk to about these. In the meantime you need to eat." Rob calls out to Kari then he leaves her and I alone as he makes a call. She pulls over the bag and my mouth waters. He brought us pasta. I dig in and grab a breadstick as I devour my pasta. I didn't realize how hungry I was till now. After his call Rob sits down next to me on the bed and laughs, "wow hungry?"

"Starving and thank you."

He nods and looks at Kari, she finishes eating then thanks him for the food and leaves. I look at him with wide eyes as he closes my door. "I have someone coming over to talk to you about these dreams. They are probably brought on by all the extra hormones in your body but this might help."

"Someone is coming here? Rob that will cost too much. I am fine."

"No it won't, this person is not charging me a thing and we can trust her."

"What? Who is it?"

Rob gives me a funny half grin then winks at me, "you are going to meet my sister Alice. She is a psychologist."

I stare at him shocked, his sister? I am going to be expected to pour out these crazy dreams to his sister? His brother is my doctor and now his sister will be treating me as well? I am scared to ask what his parents do but then there is a knock at the door. I hear Kari talking with someone then she knocks on my door. Am I ready to pour out these crazy dreams? Do I have a choice?