Chapter 10 - The Contents
'Tupyn' Her name was writ in that frustratingly familiar font; the one she had pressed into her head as she'd sobbed over years of collected parchment in her empty house; the one that had ran in the salted tears from the letter to stain the sheets; the one she'd hoped she'd never see again.
'My darling girl.' She pulled her eyes away when she realised that she was reading in her mothers' voice and once more she was filled with a rage that almost forced her hand to throw the letter into the flames.
But she still didn't.
'I shan't fool around with pleasantries as I fear that to act like nothing happened would force you to rip this letter up and not think twice." Tupyn cast a glance up to the flames. 'But please do not. This letter has several purposes: the first is an apology. When I left, my behaviour was despicable, I knew what had happened with your father and brothers and I should have been a mother to you and at the very least been there to comfort you. I think often about how I could have acted and about the guilt that I now have about what I really did. So for what I put you through, I'm sorry.
'The second cause for this letter is to explain. Elves are after me; Elves of the woodland realm to be exact. I'm sure you have a suspicion as to why and the fact they're after me was the reason I had to leave. Woodland elves rarely leave the safety of their home but already a band of them has chased me from their lands, to Ered Luin and almost back again before chasing me far down south, I had to leave you to for your own safety.
'The third reason for this letter is to warn you. I haven't the slightest idea what power forced Thorin and I to meet but it was a very twisted one as he told me of your trouble and only swelled the guilt inside of me. He told me of his plans for Erebor and how he intends to invite you to join him and whatever company he can muster. Quite frankly, I am thrilled that you have found a better cause for your time than that damned house of your fathers which I know you will have looked after like it could feel everything you've done and you've finally given into the adventurous gene that both your father and I possessed. However, I must ask you to be careful, if you come across any elves that are unaware of your lineage, please refrain from telling them of me, I cannot guarantee that my name will mean nothing to them and if it does in fact mean something then it could get you in severe trouble. You and your brothers were the reason that the elves are after me and I wouldn't put it past them that they have some rather unfair plans for you if you happen to cross paths.
'The fourth is to inform. That gem that I hope you currently wear around your neck is a dragon's breath (although I'm certain that you already knew that), It's one of many but one of only three that have more to them than what first meets the eye. I fear I may have put you in more danger by giving it to you but you must keep it. Sadly for you, you have no choice in the matter; once that clasp was shut the dragon's breath was bonded to you.' Tupyn didn't quite like the sound of that and found herself tugging frantically at the clasp but it wouldn't budge. She tried tugging on the chain but all she got was a sore imprint of the chain on the back of her neck. She found herself sighing in resignation and flicking her eyes back to the letter. 'It's one of five. I'm almost certain that one has been lost completely but the other three are somewhere in Erebor. These specific five gems form the Cravensbond. As far as I know, little is actually known about the Cravensbond but as far as I know, it holds some very odd but no doubt mystifying qualities.'
She'd heard of the Cravensbond. She knew that people tended to believe what they wanted to believe and nobody actually knew what it did. She was a little annoyed that her mother had given her an extremely desirable gem and bound it to her body.
'The fifth is to say goodbye. I am tired and the elves have been catching up with me for almost sixty miles, by the time you will have read this I will have been captured and killed.' Despite how much she despised her mother, this had not been what she'd expected when she'd broken that seal. 'Yet again, I am sorry for what I've put you through and I cannot stress how much you must be wary on the road. You will always be my daring girl.'
'Cedia Logreig.'
Tupyn just stared at the parchment. Her chest suddenly felt too small and her eyes flicked from the black words to her fingers where she found that she was trembling. She swallowed and felt her breath shake in her lungs as she attempted to pull oxygen into her body to cool the sudden, uncomfortable boiling heat collecting just below her ribs and spreading through her body.
She didn't know what was happening. Her mother wasn't supposed to die. She wasn't supposed to leave her alone. She thought she'd felt alone before but now she knew what loneliness truly felt like; it was a horrible ache in her core. She felt like she no longer had a direction, everything she had done before the letter had been fuelled by a hatred of her Elven blood and of the woman who gave it to her. She'd had a need to feel like a Dwarf, to show her father that he hadn't died for no reason, but now she felt as if she owed her mother something too.
She stood up and started to pace in front of the fire. She had to move; she needed to calm herself down. But she couldn't pull in enough breath to provide for the erratic movements she was making so she sat again. She perched herself on the end of the seat cushion and braced her elbows on her knees. She dropped the letter so she could hold her head in her hands and then pulled long, deep gasps of air into her lungs and her heart beat soon slowed. Her flinching muscles stopped and her hands stopped trembling.
It was just as she breathed a sigh of relief that the horrible tears started to well in her eyes.
Another person had died because of her. It wasn't enough that her father and brothers had; her mother had to die too. Was this some sick lesson that the world had decided she needed to learn? It didn't matter that she all but hated the woman, death left a hole in everyone it surrounded. To have someone close to you die makes you realise just how harsh the world is; just how unfair.
So her mothers' death added to the hole inside her; the horrible rotting section close to her core that seemed to just keep expanding.
"I forgive you." She whispered as she first tear slipped from her eye and rolled off of her cheekbone to land on her knee, turning the fabric a deep brown. She never thought the words would come out of her mouth. She took another calming breath. "I forgive you." She repeated. It was forgiveness for leaving; forgiveness for anything her mother had apologised for, even when Tupyn couldn't hear them.
She sat up and opened her eyes, ignoring the blur from the water collecting on her lower lid. She gasped in another breath and ran the pad of her right thumb below both eyes. She was calming now, on the outside at least. There was a mix of confusing emotions inside her that she couldn't quite fathom so she decided to merely suppress them rather than confront them.
She stood on unsure feet and bent to pick up the letter. She would have destroyed it by now but Thorin needed to know and she wasn't entirely sure if she could explain.
She heaved a breath and straightened herself up, checking her face in the glass of a framed picture to make sure she wasn't still in too much of a state. She tucked a stray strand if hair behind her ear and rubbed her eyes to rid them of the slight red tint.
She stepped out into the corridor and spotted Bilbo almost having a panic attack near the kitchen. She chuckled. Must be something about the house that makes people break down. She decided to just eave him to it and attempt to get to the dining room from the other end. But Bilbo had other idea.
"Um? Tupyn?" She groaned internally but turned to face him nonetheless. He frowned. "Are you alright?"
She shrugged nonchalantly. "Yes, of course. Why?"
He hummed. "I know that look. You're lying to me."
To be quite honest, she liked the hobbit; he was calm (most of the time) and seemed like he could be a very reliable and collected person. But she wasn't exactly ready to grant him access to her inner thoughts. "Be that as it may, I'm not currently prepared to discuss it." She turned again in a hope that maybe she'd just leave her be.
"I just wanted to say thank you." His words stopped her in her tracks. "Most of these dwarves have been nothing but rude to me and you're the only one who has shown me even a shred of kindness." She turned her head slightly to the side. "I just wanted you to know that it doesn't go unnoticed."
She swallowed. Nobody had said thank you to her in a long time; she hadn't done anything different than she normally would. She figured that this was a different situation and a completely different type of person doing the thanking but it still froze her in her spot.
She turned to him fully and found that she quite simply couldn't comprehend words. So she simply crossed her arm over her stomach and bowed low in respect. He dipped his head in acknowledgement and she straightened. Neither moved for a moment before Tupyn spun on her heels and moved into the dining room.
Only a few people registered she'd even moved into the room as their eyes were mostly stuck on the king. Fíli glanced up to her and the younger brother's gaze followed. Kíli frowned slightly, like he'd sensed something was wrong, but patted the seat he'd saved nonetheless. She sat and his hand rubbed the small of her back comfortingly before looking back to the conversation and removing his hand.
"Ravens have been seen flying back from the mountains as it was foretold:"Oin announced. "'When the birds of yore return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end.'" An odd chill ran through the entire company at his words and she looked up to see Thorin looking at her with a concerned look. She sighed and looked down; he needed to find out at some point. Why not now?
She slipped her hand into her pocket and slipped out the letter, skinning it across the wooden table at just the right speed so that it landed just within arms reach. He frowned slightly and plucked it up, casting a questioning look to her. She gave him a gesture that said she insisted he read it and he did so.
She didn't watch him read it but after a while she felt his gaze. She swallowed and looked up to see the look of concern on his face as Bofur started explaining the 'beast' to Bilbo.
She simply shrugged to Thorin and he looked at her with a scolding gaze. It was hardly the best act of nonchalance she'd ever done but even if it had been it wouldn't have gotten past Thorin.
She sighed. 'what do you want me to do?' she said in a glance.
He looked like he was about to say something but through better of it and just sighed. 'Are you alright?'
She calmed too and just closed her eyes momentarily. When she opened them, she held an air of certainty. She nodded and he simply gave her a look that said they'd talk later.
She didn't have a chance to reply because she was distracted by Ori standing up next to her. "I'm not afraid! I'm up for it! I'll give his a taste of Dwarvish iron right up his jacksie!" She didn't cheer with the rest but simply looked back to Thorin with a smile.
He bowed his head slightly and she did the same as a mutual agreement that nothing else would be said of the matter.
"The task would be difficult enough with an armybehind us." Balin silenced the jeers of the men around him. "But numbered just 14? And not thirteen of the best . . ." He paused to glance around. "Or brightest."
She cocked an eyebrow and almost stood to object but Fíli noticed the sudden rise in tension and spoke up. "We may be few in number, but we're fighters; all of us! 'Til the last dwarf!"
"And you forget we have a wizard in our company," Kíli interjected. "Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time."
All attention went to the wizard in his corner and he attempted to avoid the questions when the dwarves demanded for an answer. She felt Kíli's hand on her back again and he was suddenly at her ear as the noise slowly rose in the room. "And 3 . . . 2 . . . 1."
Thorin stood up at that point and bellowed. "Shazara!" He stood and the entire company leant back in their chairs to move away from the sudden sound. "If we have seen these signs, do you not think others will have read them too?" He asked his voice low and reverberating around the room. "The dragon Smaug has not been seen for 60 years. Eyes look east; assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of out people now stands unprotected so we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours?" He paused again. "Or do we cease this chance to take back Erebor?"
Tupyn smiled. He was very good; he hadn't answered any questions, there were no reassurances that they would be safe of that they wouldn't meet a fiery death, simply a promise of the glory that they would soon experience.
"Du bekár!" He shouted, thrusting his fist into the air and enticing exclamations of pride and excitement from his company. "Du bekár!"
For a moment she was pulled into a memory she'd once tried to forget the context of. It was the first time she'd thought about how good he was with words. He seemed to have an odd ability to compel people with his words. She remembered how he'd woven words for her to stop tears and hushed her into a calm sleep with his voice when she'd needed it most.
She was pulled away from her thoughts by the room suddenly becoming completely silent other than the wise voice of Gandalf. "That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true." He twirled his fingers and Tupyn found herself cocking a very confused – but nonetheless impressed - eyebrow as a key appeared in his twirling fingers.
Thorin was just staring at the key, seemingly stunned by it. Everyone had a similar expression on their face as if they'd seen their fate in the single iron item; in a way they had. That one key would fuel their quest. They had a way inside the mountain and - therefore – they had hope.
"If there's a key . . ." Fíli pointed out after Gandalf had explained the short version of how the key came into his possession and Thorin had carefully grasped the key before holding it to his chest in his strong hand. ". . . There must be a door."
Gandalf heaved a breath and pointed to the map on the table that Tupyn hadn't even noticed. "These runes speak of a hidden passage-" The entire company leant in slightly to get a better look. "-To the lower halls."
She felt Kíli shift beside her with a smile on his face. "There's another way in." A chill ran through the company at those four words and they turned their attention back to Gandalf.
"Well, if we can find it but dwarf doors are invisible when closed." He looked to the company and padded his finger on the map. "The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map but I do not have the skill to find it." He focused singly on Thorin. "But there are others ion Middle Earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth and no small amount of courage but if we are careful and clever, I believe it can be done."
"That's why we need a burglar." Ori contributed.
Bilbo hummed. "A good one too. An expert I'd imagine."
"And are you?" Gloin asked, his accent coming through thick.
"Am I what?" Bilbo asked, looking round confusedly. Hid eyes met Tupyn's and she gave him a half-smile that told him to just relax and wait.
"He said he's an expert! He hey!" Oin misheard and rejoiced, starting some dwarves to laugh.
"M-me? No, no, no, no, no. I'm not a burglar; I've never stolen a thing in my life."
"I'm afraid I'd have to agree with Mr. Baggins." Balin said. "He's hardly burglar material."
"Aye," His brother agreed. "The wild is no place for gentlefolk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves."
Bilbo started to nod in agreement and Tupyn scoffed at how much he was deluding himself that he didn't actually want to go on this quest. Dwalin stood suddenly as Bifur did the same and they started threatening each other, their brothers and relatives attempting to hold them back.
Gandalf started to shake slightly and Tupyn tensed. She'd ran into Gandalf once or twice on her own travels and one time he hadn't found her at the best of times; she'd had a group of men be extremely violent towards her on the road and as she'd gotten away it had left her in the most disagreeable mood. So when Gandalf found her, she'd been in no mood for conversations and couldn't help her attitude. But Gandalf had been having none of it and soon scared her into listening to him. And she had no ambition to be the receiver of such a method from him again. She knew what was going to happen and quickly buried her head under her arms and screwed her eyes shut.
"Tupy-?" Kíli only got half way through her name when Gandalf voice rumbled much louder than it normally did around the room. She tensed and the entire room was suddenly consumed by silence.
"Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet-" As Gandalf started making Bilbo's part in the quest seem as big as he possibly could make it, Tupyn looked back up and corrected her posture.
"What on earth was that?"
Tupyn sighed and shrugged. "Just something he does, it scares me half to death."
Kíli chuckled. "I could tell."
"It's quite a feat to be honest, not many things really scare me."
Kíli smiled. And then they were distracted by Thorin's voice. "Very well." He said as Bilbo tried to protest. "We will do it your way." The king looked to Balin. "Give him the contract."
None of the contract heard the rest of the conversation as it was mostly Bilbo muttering to himself and voicing his unhappiness at the words 'funeral arrangements'.
The only thing that they did hear was when he read the possible outcomes of the journey. "Lacerations? . . . Eviscerations? . . . Incineration!?" He asked, as if asking if they were serious.
"Oh, aye." Bofur said. "He'll melt the flesh off yer bones in the blink of an eye." Bilbo swallowed hard and suddenly found that the contract was heavy in his hands. "Think furnace with wings." Tupyn glanced to Bilbo with a concerned frown on her face. "Flash o' light, searing pain and then poof! Yer nothing more than a pile of ash." It wasn't just Bilbo that was effected by this image, everyone around the table seemed to suddenly tense up.
Bilbo was breathing heavily for the umpteenth time that evening and attempted to compose himself. He sighed and everyone seemed to think that he was alright for a moment as he moved into the middle of the hallway.
"Nope." He said before passing out and falling to the floor.
Everyone just started for a moment and wondered what on earth they were supposed to do now. "Well." Fíli said.
"That answers that." His brother finished his sentence.
Tupyn had decided to check on Bilbo, she thought that maybe she could persuade him to go on the quest. She knew it was a long shot but maybe she could make him realise that he wasn't so different from the rest of them. She passed Thorin and Balin in the hall and suddenly the king's hand was on her chest as she tried to pass him.
She really didn't want to talk about the letter to him; not yet anyway. She looked up to meet his light blue eyes and opened her mouth to protest against him so much as uttering anything about the letter. Instead, she was cut of by a small vial of liquid being held before her face. She frowned and didn't take it, merely looking back up to him, asking for an explanation.
"It'll help you sleep tonight. You won't get much without it." He insisted, voice low and persuading.
She swallowed and sighed. He knew what she was going to start going through and how she was going to start feeling, he had at least a little understanding. She took the vial and nodded her thanks. "Put it in a drink, it's not the most pleasant thing on its own." She gave another nod and started to move away.
She sighed and licked her lower lip in thought. She appreciated Thorin and how much care he'd taken of her over the years, as she'd said to Kíli before, the king was the closest thing she had to a father she's had for over a decade.
She slipped down the corridor and Gandalf moved out of the front room and down the hall. He didn't exactly look like the happiest of people. Tupyn leant against the wall for a moment before deciding that she should give it a shot.
Bilbo hadn't expected her to be there and found that he jumped when her figure passed him to pull a chair up opposite him. "Do you mind?" She asked.
He sighed and gave her a gesture that she had his permission. She sat but didn't say anything for night on five minutes. She watched Bilbo instead. He had an unsure air about him now, like he felt as though he could be an adventurer; like he could go with the company.
"Why don't you want to come?" She asked, simply deciding to answer the question that everyone else danced around. Bilbo was shocked by the sudden question and he couldn't seem to get everything together to properly reply.
"Actually," She said. "You don't have to worry about answering that." She sat back and thought for a moment. "I have just found out that my mother's dead."
Bilbo looked up and just stared. "Oh – Oh, I'm sor-"
"No." She cut him off. "Don't say you're sorry. I don't think I'm quite ready for people to say that yet, partly because it's not a loss at all. I haven't seen her in over a decade and she left me on a bad note." He was confused with why she was telling him this. "The point I'm trying to make is that I have lived with a hole in my core for years-" She gestured to her centre for exaggeration of her point. "And now that my mother's gone, it's become bigger." She sighed. "I know you have a hole; a missing part of you that you are not quite sure how to fill."
Bilbo looked down and wrung his hands in his lap. "This." He gestured to the dwarves in the home behind him. "Was not what I wanted from life."
She smirked. "But it is, isn't it?" Bilbo just flicked his eyes up to her. "You want this like you've wanted nothing else before in your life. It's a tiny voice in the back of her head just urging you to sign the contract and come with us; not for the glory like the rest of them . . ." She paused. "But simply for the adventure."
"Is that why you're here? Adventure?"
She shook her head. "Not quite."
"Then why?"
She sighed and decided that since he was only the second person to know about her mother, he may as well be one of the few that knew about her reasons. "To prove myself, I think." She swallowed. "I'm an Elven – Dwarf; half Elf, half Dwarf. My mother was the Elf and, quite frankly, I hated her for years. So, as if to prove something to my father, I decided to join a ridiculous bunch of dwarves on a quest to reclaim a lost homeland and that's how I'm here. I hate my blood, I feel tainted by the Elf because I don't have a proper home. If I do this, I'll be accepted."
"So why are you telling me this?"
She chewed her lip. "Because I think that you are the one who needs to hear it." He frowned. "You need to know that you're not the only one who has doubts about this."
He looked up to her with a look of shock. "Y – You're having second thoughts?"
"Not so much second thoughts so much as an increasing doubt."
"So what are you going to do?"
She'd thought about that question a lot in the last hour or so and now that the Hobbit had asked, she knew the exact answer. "I'm going to stay." She paused. "Because as much as I still feel that I don't need to be here, I know that I really do. No matter how much I feel out of place, these men I'm travelling feel the same. They have no home; same as me. They don't know what they're going to do with the rest of their lives; same as me."
Bilbo wrung his hands again and fidgeted slightly. Tupyn didn't wait for a reply before she stood and moved the chair back into its previous position. She stood in the centre of the room for a moment before she bowed her head and made her way out of the room.
She hadn't realised just how much she wanted the Hobbit to join them. She had an odd feeling – a superstition – that something terrible might happen if she didn't come. She felt, truly, like he needed to join them.
She chewed her lip and heaved a breath. No sooner had she done that when a low, nigh on inaudible hum started to sound from the room before her. She glanced inside to see the company surrounding the hearth and weaving the low, gentle tune that drifted through her very soul. She recognised it from both her father and Thorin; it was one of the ways that they'd retold the old tales, one of the ways that stories were passed on.
She may have recognised the tune, but she didn't know the words. So she simply decided to make a cup of tea and take the sleeping draught that Thorin had given her. She silently slipped into the kettle and found that there was still a pot of hot water from Bilbo's drink. So she pulled out some tea leaves and made a pot.
The tune was still being sung when she strained the tea and added the clear liquid from the vial and a splash of milk.
She wrapped her hands around the warm ceramic mug and walked on Elven feet to where the dwarves had gathered.
An eerie sort of silence had engulfed the Hobbit's home as the firewood popped and the crickets in the wide grasslands surrounding them sang their own usual tune.
"Where're ye sleeping lads?" Bofur said, looking around,
"Find a clear space and lay down the rolls." Thorin ordered, pointing the end of his pipe to the space around them.
The men started to collect themselves up and move around; they spread into the hallways and into rooms that none of them had even been in before. Tupyn went to move into to the hall to the left but Kíli tugged her plait and made her jump. She turned to him. "And where are you going?" He asked.
She pointed in the direction she'd been walking in. "To a spot that's not taken."
"No you don't." Kíli said, nodding to the opposite direction. "Fíli and I found a place big enough for all three of us."
She frowned. "Why?"
He shrugged. "I don't know." He said as he lead her to where they'd found. "I guess we're used to you now."
She momentarily stuttered on her thoughts for a moment and smiled as he carried on walking. She'd not had time to have anyone 'get used' to her and to have someone say that if she was to disappear, it would affect them was an odd feeling to have.
But a pleasant one nonetheless.
They had found the back room and Fíli was attempting to light the small fire set in the right wall. He let out a sound of rejoice as the spark caught and heated the firewood.
The brothers and Tupyn set their rolls next to each other and lay down. Tupyn took on gulp of the lukewarm tea and cringed at the slightly chemical taste it held from the sleeping draught. After than, she necked it and pulled a disgusted face once she was done.
Fíli scoffed. "What was that?" He asked.
She just shrugged and laid down flat. "Just stronger than I had expected."
It took her longer than normal to get to sleep because once she laid her head down, her thoughts ran rampant through her mind, leaving a trail of disaster in their wake. She'd screwed her eyes shut and tossed and turned for nigh on ten minutes but to no avail.
She hadn't expected it to be as bad as it was proving to be and she realised that Thorin had been right about her not getting to sleep.
She hadn't realised that she had been making as much noise with her movement as she actually had. Her back had been to Kíli and as soon as his hand touched her hip, she found that her entire body relaxed. Under his fingers, she calmed and she didn't even even understand why. "Go to sleep." He whispered in a faux threatening tone, his breath hitting the heated skin on the back of her neck and sending a chill down her spine.
She wasn't entirely sure if it was Kíli's hand and breath or the potion that had been in her tea but either way, she was asleep within minutes after that and the thoughts that had previously ravaged her brain were gone.
Chapter 10! Yay! I must admit that I'm quite chuffed with this one. As much as I got a little bogged down with the dialogue of the film, I'm quite happy with the bits i added.
What did you think of that little gem of a bomb that her mother dropped? I rather enjoyed writing it so I hoped that you enjoyed reading it.
I'm not going to beg this time but thank you to everyone who reviewed, favoured and followed. I do still want your reviews because it's wonderful to receive them and if you want to drop me a tip on improvement then I'm definitely not going to complain.
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