Chapter 10:
The electric barrage ceased. Snoku and Jar Jar lay there in the ground, smoke rising out from there toasted flesh. Charlie was bewildered, he looked behind him and their he saw a posh-looking british girl standing they're, small bolts of electric still frothing from her fingertips. Shaggy was speechless.
"Vergera? What are you doing hear? How did you escape the Yuzong Vong?"
"I didn't. They killed me but I used the force to transfer my essence into an identical clone body." Veruca explained in a british accent. "And there's more ware that came from!"
It was then Augustortle, Mike, and Viette appeared on the scene.
"I learned how to do it with other people too!" Veruca bragged.
"We is back bitches!" announced Mike while punching his hand badassly, "Time to kick some Sno-Keester!"
"Hark Hark Kark!" Bloke laughed, "Chargnie? Do u relly export to beet me? Evun wit that power?"
"I got more powar then you know, Spock!" said Charli. He then pulled his lightsaber off his belt. A blue blade shot out from its metallic hilt. Game time started.
Violet looked on worried, then turned to Mike.
"We need to call someone." She said.
"What do you mean?" Mike responded.
"Mike you fucking idiot, do you honestly think a group of 5 children are of any match more a time traveler and gungan with god powers? Why don't you use that 'technological prowess' of yours and summon someone to help us out because god knows you sure as hell aren't useful otherwise" reploed Violet.
"Ugh…. Fine…" said Mike. He pulled out his phone and began skyping a shady looking guy in sunglasses.
"How can I help you, Mike Teavee?" asked the shady looking guy.
"I need a monster to clobber that there Snokey!" Mike told the guy on the screen.
"That's what we do best at NME!" the screen guy said back.
"You better get it with a money-back garentee!" shouted Violet.
Just then a cowboy floated in holding a parasol. He smirked,
"Did somebody ring the Dinkster?" announced the Dinkster in a texan accent which starkly contrasted with Veruca's british one. Mike starred at him in awe, then he said;
"We need you to help us fight that 7-foot tall racially insensitive duck monster over there," pointing at Jar Jar.
Jarge Judy cackled like a manic once more, "If yousa won't go down without a fight, I guess meesa gonna have to give yousa one!"
Mike made the first move, he used the force to summon a dozen katanas out of thin air and fire them at Jar Jar like missles. Jar Jar doged everey single one of them but it was all just a distraction as Veruca used this opportunity to zap the gungan with force lightning.
"Off Ow My Bones!" complained the gungan as he was brought to the ground. Violet speed rushed him by barraging his face with punches and kicks. Jar Jar double kicked her off him and stood up. Jar Jam fired force lightning at the blonde girl, sending voltage rushing through her veins once more, but Augustus interrupted him with a Wario Land-style shoulder bash, sending Jarsey Shore careening through the air.
Charlie's lightsaber made a soft, whirring noise as he circled the man who was once him, Snoke. Snoke's sabre spewed a red-colored blade, the bloody crimson hue reflected off his soulless blue eyes. Charlie dashed forward, charging Snoke at lighting speed. The two sabres howled a metallic hum as they swung toward one another, followed by an electronic hiss as they collided and locked together. The two blades crackled as the two of them locked eyes and tried to get out of the lightsaber clash.
Charlie yanked away his saber, pointed it forward, and drove it toward Snoke's torso, attempting to impale him. Snoke dodged this blow, and swung his lightsaver toward Charlie's legs but Charlei blocked it with this lightsaber. Next, Charlie swang a diagonal uppercut, attempting a decapitation. The attempt was thwarted by Snoke, pulling the lightsaber toward his face and stopping Charlie's blade. The two of them swung and slashed their lightsabers at eachother, the both of them getting faster and faster with every strike. A cacophony of clashes and zooms rang through their ears.
Violet gazed on at Charlie and Snoke's duel They're fighting was so quick and refined, it look mere milliseconds for them to strike, intercept blows, and counter them. They were moving so fast Violet could not even perceive them, let alone describe their fighting styles. To her they just looked like blurs; dancing flames of ruby and sapphire. It was so bright it began to hurt her eyes.
Violet re-entered the fray, she sprung toward her gungan foe from behind, wrapping her arms around Jar Jar's neck, choking him out. Jar Jar's mouth sprang wide open, desperately gasping for air and his long tongue flailing about. Mike took this opportunity to swing his katana across Jar Jar's tongue, slicing it clean in two. He wailed as blood shot from his mouth. He then grappled his choker's arms and slammed her against the floor, curb-stomping her. In response, Mike bolted toward the gungan and sliced off his eyestalks. One of the eyeballs landed on the tip of Mike's blade, and was impaled on the sharp, metal pointiness.
Jar Jar stood there, now blind and mute, Veruca torched him with her force lightning causing his clothes to catch on fire. Jar Jar ran around screaming, Violet ran over and drop-kicked him, sending him falling to the floor. Augustus followed this up with a body slam, his immense weight snapped several of Jar Jar's bones like twix. Augaztaz leaped up from Jaar Jar, the gungan lay there on the ground, motionless. But then, Jar Jar began vibrating and a black, smokey aura seethed from his body. Jar Jar raised his head, and let out an enraged, guttural roar of utter infuriation that was louder than any nigra.
Jar Jar started to levitate an was breathing heavily. Violet, Mike, Veruca and Augustus maintained their positions, ready to intercept whatever the gungan menace had in store for them. The fight wasn't over. Jar Jar regenerated his eyes and tongue, but his eyes were now glowing blood red and lacked pupils, his teeth were clenched as he displayed them like a cornered dog, they were now grey, sharp and jagged. A forked tongue flickered from between his chapped lips as he harshly hissed. Red foam oozed from the gungan's mouth and briefly puddled below before sinking in through the gridded metal floor. His tunic was tattered and charred black, along with his skin bleached into a cinder gray. A black, evil aura surrounded him while his fins fanned upwards like flames.
Jar Jar held out his hands, his fingers now thin and bony as peeled skin and dangly tendons clung for dear life from the bottom. A surge of force lightning shot from the ends of these fingers, but it wasn't a bright blue like Veruca's but rather an evil purplish-black with a crimson glowing outline. Augutus stood his ground and used the force to draw in the dark lightning bolts into his hands. He thrusted jis arms forward and blasted the torrents back at their sender. Jar Jar let out a loud, excruciating howl as the electric bolts engulfed him, causing him to fall to his knees. The sounds he made were otherworldly, hellish even. They sounded throaty, guttural, demonic… they were both deep and rumbly yet high-pitched and ear-piercing at the same time, and had somewhat of an echo to them, like he was in a cave.
Veruca levitated herself into the air, and shot force lightning at Jar Jar, but this time it came in the form of electric, tentacle-like tendrils extending from her fingers. The lighting whipped and ravaged the gungan, he put his fists in front of his face as the brit girl's relentless whipping drove him to the edge of the chimney. The electric tendrils then wrapped around his arms holding him in place while electrocuting him.
"Mike! Now's your time!" Veruca yelled loudly in a british accent.
Mike summoned some more katansas and circled them around Jar Jar reddy to skewer him form all ends, however, Jarge Lopez used the force to stop the katanas and swirled them around like a tornado, slicing Veruca's electric chains and setting him free.
Jar Jar roared another otherworldly, hellish cry as he blasted even more force lightning. Veruca countered by firing her force lightning at maximum power to intercept it. As the two lightnings collided, they formed a sphere in the middle bright as a sun, blue and black bolts dancing and mingling in this clash of thunder. Veruca's hair blew backwards along with Jar Jar's mouth foam. The spoiled brat's eyes flared up in yellow, the bliding light relecting upon them along with the rest of her pale, porcelain face. Veruca clenched her teeth as she dredged the depths of her black, corrupted soul summoning all her bottled-up rage and hatred to concentrate her power in the dark side in it's purist, blackest form.
"WATT'S the problem Veruca? Is someone surpassing you in the dark side?" taunted Mike, trying to egg her on, "That's pretty shocking, wouldn't ya say?"
Veruca screamed in fury, her eyes rolled back into her head, the blue bolts of lightning turned white and then red, causing the electric ball to burst. Jolts of dark electricity rained around the battlefield, and the force of the explosion sent Veruca and Dark Jar flying backward, stunning them both as fell to the floor incapacitated.
The flying bolts of stray force lightning surrounded Charlie and Snoke, as their duel continued. They thrashed one another with their littsabers so quickly it created a purple cloud of light-tail around them. Their lighsabers clashed once again, they held their locked blades together and drove them into the floor, searing away at the metal sending sparks and embers flying up between them. Snoke slammed his blade into his Charlie's blade multiple times, trying to drive his opponent's blade into his own foot. Charlie pulled back, Snoke got into a defensive position, Charlie grunted as he launched a swing at Snoke. However, Snoke dodged it and then slashed at Charlie. The boy did a backflip to avoid the attack, but then he landed and stood there panting, lightsaber in hand as sweat oozed from his scalp.
"Are you give up Charlie?" taunted Scope.
"No!" shouted Vharlie. "I mustn't give up! My husbands and wifes are counting on me!" Charlir charged back into battle and locked blades with his foe once more.
"Give up Chris-Chan! You is never wynn!" said Snowglobe. The strugle resumed as Snorkle and Charger locked eyes and fought.
The Dinkster looked on the distance, concerned. Mike got up from the explosion and went to him.
"The Dinkster! What do?" asked Mike desperately.
The two of them observed Charlie, exhausted and withering away while Snoke was not letting up.
"Mucus! You need to get the others and use your golden tarkins to unlock ur ultinmate power!" said The Dinkster. "It's be the only way to defeat this meanace!"
Mike observed the others, they were still unconscious from the expolosion. The Dankster used his magic whissle to revive them. Violet was first, she got up groggily, her hand on her head, wondering what happened. Augustus and Veruca woke soon after.
Just then a demonic echoeing growl blared in the backround. It was Jar Jar, who woke up too.
"Miguel… It's now or never!" said the Dinkster.
"But how do I assess this ultimate powr?" asked Meek.
"The Force will guide you. Now go!" answered the Kinkster.
"Wadda about you?" Mike questinned.
"I will keep Jar Jar at bae while you and the others ulock the ultimat powder. Avnenge Me!" The Dumpster shouted.
A single teer felled down Mike's cheek, "and so it is…" he whispered.
He runned faster then his legs could propel, and the others were soon to follow. Charlie was weakened, he was on his knees, heavily breathing and barely able to clutch the hilt of his lighsaber.
"ESCHARGO!" Mike shouted, "LOOK OUT!"
Charle looked back at Mike and the rest, but he then looked forward and saw Snokle speeding toward him about to strike, but Mike used the force to pull Charlie out of the way in the nick of time.
Chalrie was struggling to stand up straight, the two boys looked eachother in the eyes and something clicked inside of them, like some sort of primal instinct awakening inside the both of their minds. For some reason, they knew now what to do, as did Violet, Veruca, and Augustus. The five kids held their gilded tokens in the air, a beam of sun gleamed off of them. Jar Jar tried charging toward them but was held back by the Twinkster's lasso.
Mike turned his eyes toward the Dongster, he looked back at Mike and winked. A little twinkle appeared in the Dunkster's eye as he saluted him.
"What is the meaning of this tomfoolery?" snarled Snoke.
Jar Jar broke out of his binding, and the Dickster was obliterated by the gungan's force lightning.
Charlie stood triumpantly, "WIG DA POWERG OF THE SE7EN GOLBEN TACKETS, I AM TH GOD!"
The golden tuckers glowed white, and then so did their holders. They all turned into glowing blobs of blinding white light. Snokje and Jar Jar couldnl't belive they're eyes. The glowing lights then collided all into one, followed by a burst of luminosity. The 5 lucky winners of the golden tickets weren't any longer who they once were, they ascended and became one. They were now a being known only as Chariolgusmica Glucketteasaltegarde (or "The One" for short).
The One had tannish-red colored skin wore a baige tunic. It had 2 eyestalks protruding from the top of it's billed face. It was seven feet tall and had fins draping down the back of it's head. The One levitated and was still, and had it's eyes pierced on Snoke. Altough they were one body, they still had all 5 of their minds in tact, so they sensed Jar Jar attacking it before he even thought of it.
The evil gungan lunged at The One, having predicted he'd do this, The One casually intercepted Jar Jar's advance and locked his in a headlock. The One gave Jar Jar a gnoggie so intense it quickly eroded away at the top of his scalp, wearing away at flesh and bone with seconds until his brain was exposed. The one released Jsr Jsr from its grasp and then punched the gunagn in the face, bending his bill sideways with a loud snapping noise and knocking out several teeth. Jar Jar used force lightning, but it just bounced off The One's body and it used the force to reflect it back at Jar Jar.
Jar Jar was cornered now, and as a last resort, he pulled his arms backward, his hands cupped together in a clamshell shape as a bright, glowing ball of energy formed between them.
"Ka-meesa…" he chanted.
"Ha-meesa…" he chanted once more.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
He shot a giant beam of pure lazer from his hands, the energy engulfed the One and lit up the sky. Once the energy dissipated from view, Jar Jar saw The One standing there with its arms crossed much to his chagrin. The One then grabbed Jar Jar by his arms and spun his around like Mario does to Bowser in Mario 64. The One then procedded to threw Jar Jar out of the universe.
The One then turned its head at Snoke.
"Time for the final battel" said Augustus's consciousness.
Snoke froze, puzzled. For some reason, The One wasn't moving. Snoke then felt an intense flurry of brutal, blunt bashes barraging his body. He then realizzed that The One still didn't appear to be moving because it was travelling faster than the speed of light and as such couldn't be perceived. After Snoke had this thought, the One suddenly appeared in front of him within a nanosecond , as if by teleporting, and upper cutted Snoke, sending him flying up into the air.
"Now that's one hell of a punch-line!" remarked Violet's consciousness.
Snoke flew several thousand miles in the air within milliseconds, but then The One used the force to split millions of atoms while Snoke flew through the stratosphere, searing Snoke with millions of atoms nuclear explosions on rapid fire. Then, at the snap of a finger, Snoke was thrown to the ground and then llifted up to the One's location.
"This is your own masterpeace!" said Veruca's consciousness.
The One grabbed the Supreme Leader and flew into the air, spinning around. The One carried Snoke all the way into outer space and shot down from the heavens, a cloak of fire surrounded the two's descent followed by a trail of smoke. The One and Snoke slammed into into the chumney of the factory and the One spun around and drove Snoke down into the Earth, destroying the factory and creating a giant sinkhole imploding the entire continent. The One and Snoke continued to piledrive through the Earth, forcing their way through the Earth's crust, the mantle, outer core, and inner core. The One delivered a super-duper crotch kick on Snoke, sending him flying through the planet and exploding out of the other end's surface. The force of the kick flung him across the solar system where he collided into sevaeral planets so hard each one exploded on impact until he finally landed on Pizza Planet, which also exploded as he was forced through it.
The One tore through the fabric of space-time to teleport itself to where Snoke was.
"I hat you Snoke! U are a fukking cunt and I hat yo!" excalmmered Mike's consciousness.
The One gave Snoke an atomic wedgie and slingshotted him threw space with so much force it tore a hole in reality sending him flying across multiple dimensions until looping back around to this one where he was grabbed by The One, who tore another hole in reality to teleport itself and Snoke to the Sun, where The One gave Snoke a swirlie inside a solar flare.
The One kicked Snoke into the sun, where Snoke descended into the giant yellow ball of plasma, until he hit the center. The One blasted the star while purple force lightning, causing it to go supernova. A thousand bright colors flared uo as the star exploded, the flames of superheated nuclear gasses not even causing pain to the almighty being that was The One. Snoke lay there at the center of the stellar nebula where the sun used to be.
"Impopsicle!" he asserted. "Ware are you drawling all this powr from?"
"Wii evolved beeond da peepel we where a minute befor…" said Charlie's consciousness.
"Little by little, we advance a bit forward wit each turn. That's how a jar works!"
"That's the path that leads to instruction!" Snoke snarled, "Why cant you see the pathetic lamentation of the golden ticket race?"
"NO! YOU LISSIN! U SIT HERE CLOSED OFF IN THIS CHOCLATE FACOTRY LIKE SOME KIND OF KNIG! THAT'S NOWBODY'S LEMONTATION BUT YUR'RE OWN!" shouted Charlie's concussness.
The One's lips began movig, "EAT THIS!" IT SHOUTED LOUDLY WITH A LOT OF DECIBALS.
The One used the force to concentrate all the matter from the supernova into between it's hands, it used so much force compressing all the matter it turned into antimatter. The One foired this beam at Snoke, shooting him to the centre of the universe.
The antimatter beam created a chain reaction that tore a hole into the Shadow Relm.
"NOOOOOOOO!" hollared Snoke as he was sealed in the Shadoe Rhealm, "You havern't seen the last of me!"
The One outsretched its arms and used the force to stop the universe from expandeing. The One than used all it's power to reverse the process. The walls of the universe began to contract, accelerating to an infinitely fast pace as all of existence imploded on itself. Time reversed in response, speeding up until coming to a complete stop. It ended at the beginning. Where there was nothing.
The One floated there in a vast expanse of whiteness. It was nothing but nothingness for eternity in all directions, at least it seemed that way. The One looked around and saw Jar Jar, lying there on nothing, in nothing. He got up, grunting in pain as he did so., The One and Jar Jar looked eachother in the eyes. Nothing was said, and not much was thought either. The One broke the silence by pulling out a bowl of oatmeal. Jar Jar batted an eye at it, but just continued to do nothing but stare back. The One threw the bowl at Jar Jar, slicing his head clean off. It rolled around a but in the nothing, blood slowly pouring out forming a swirl of red his eyes blankly starred into the nothingness for he had already accepted his fate. The head then disappeared along with the rest of him. The One took on the mantle, and became the new Jar Jar Binks.
"It's like pottery. It had to rhyme." Said Charlie's consciousness.
"So what do we do now?" inquired Violet's consciousness.
"Well shit, we destroyed the universe, so nothing exists anymore." Replied Augustus' consciousness.
"What about that singularity over there? Wasn't that once our universe?" Veruca pointed out in a british accent.
"Are you guys thinking what I'm what I'm thinking?" said Charlie's consciousness.
"Charlie's consciousness, we inhabit the same mind. We're always thinking what you're thinking. The question is, do we all want to?" said Mike's conciosness.
Seconds passed, but then the one, now Jar Jar, reached his arm out toward the singularity.
And then, bang.