Chapter 10: Family Moments

Natasha was sitting in the room with her daughter in her arms. Katia was babbling, her hands opening and closing as she was staring up at her. "Hello," she cooed softly, stroking her cheek. Katia reached up, grasping Natasha's hand tightly. "You're a beautiful baby girl," she murmured, lifting Katia up into her arms.

The baby was looking at her curiously, reaching up to grasp a long red curl into her tiny hand. Her other hand reached up, covering Natasha's mouth as her grey eyes stared up in hers curiously. Hearing the bathroom door open, she looked up to see Clint walking out with a large bag over his shoulder. "What's that?" she asked.

"Baby diapers, wipes, powder two bottles, a pacifier, a teddy bear, extra baby clothes, and baby safe sunscreen," He replied.

Her eyes were wide as he double checked the bag. "You plan on running away with her?" she asked.

"No, the park, always have to bring extra things," he replied, "Learned that the hard way after the first few times of not bringing anything."

He smiled as Katia just gurgled, clapping her hands together. "You really have this parenting thing down," she commented.

"Took eight months, but I did it," he replied.

Natasha was quiet as Clint walked over, taking Katia into his arms. "Clint," she murmured.

"Yeah?" he answered as he set the baby down on the changing table to check her before they left.

She stood behind him, letting out a sigh. "I really am sorry," she answered.

"Nat, the only thing I don't understand is why you didn't trust me to tell me what was happening, I woke up, you were gone," he told her.

"I told you that I didn't know if Katia was yours or not," she answered.

Clint lifted Katia up, kissing her forehead. "Then why did you go back to him when you knew she was mine?" he asked.

"You don't know Ivan," she answered, "He would hunt us down and kill us all."

"I've been a sharpshooting assassin since I was 16," he told her, "Ivan couldn't hurt me if he tried, in fact, I wish I could hunt him down and kill him now."

Natasha was silent and Katia looked at them both and she stuffed her hand in her mouth as her eyes welled up with tears. "He's killed everyone I cared about, don't you understand?" she asked.

"And he's done horrible things to you," he answered.

Natasha frowned, her eyes lowered to the floor, suddenly completely ashamed. He stood in front of her, his hand on the back of her neck. "It's not your fault," he told her. She stared up at him.

"Don't do this to me," she answered.

"Tell me how it is your fault then," He stated.

Natasha was silent as she sat down on the bed. "Tell me, Natasha, tell me how what that man did to you since you were a child was your fault," he insisted.

"I was weak," she answered.

"You were a child, a girl who lost her family in a fire," he told her.

"I cared too much," she answered.

"You loved your family, there's no shame in loving your family," he stated.

"I killed people, I'm evil," she answered.

"With a man torturing you in every way possible," he told her.

Walking over to a filing cabinet, he unlocked it and grabbed a folder, throwing it next to her on the bed. "This is the girl you once were, this is the Natalia Alianovna that's still hiding," he stated. She stared at the folder, swallowing hard. "I love you, Nat, I do, and I know you love me too, even though I only hear you say it when you think I'm asleep. I need you to trust me, once you decide whether or not you can trust me, Katia and I will be in the park," he stated. Taking a piece of paper, he tossed it on the folder. "Those are directions to the park," he added. He kissed the side of Natasha's head before leaving.

Natasha stared at the folder beside her, swallowing hard. Letting out a deep breath, she grasped the end of the folder, pulling it into her lap. She stared at her name that was written in the corner of the file, her name that had been erased since she was 8-years-old. Natalia Alianovna was killed in a fire and the Black Widow was born.

Slowly, she opened the folder and the first thing she saw was a picture of her eight-year-old self beaming while she was in the arms of her father, who had his arms wrapped tightly around her and her mother was resting her hand in the middle of her back, the whole family beaming. Pulling the picture back, she saw a missing person's poster that read:

MISSING NATALIA ALIANOVNA

AGE: 8

HEIGHT: 4'1"

HAIR COLOR: RED

EYE COLOR: GREEN

LAST SEEN OUTSIDE HER HOME DURING A FIRE

Natasha moved her fingers over her school picture that was on the poster and her heart broke. She let out a deep breath, trying to keep herself from breaking down completely. Most of her life was gone, Ivan stole everything, her childhood, her teenage years, everything. Her mind started to drift back to the baby that was just in her arms only minutes ago. She was a mother, how could she be a mom? She had a man who loved her, but did he really love her or the Natasha he met two years ago? Did she even know herself?

She sat on the bed, staring at all the pictures and files in silence, mulling over every question that was going through her mind.

A little while later, Natasha walked toward the park Clint had given her directions to and she saw a bunch of children playing with their parents or their little friends. Looking for Clint, it didn't take her long to find him by the swings, pushing a giggling Katia in a baby swing. Walking over, she saw Clint grab the swing, tickling the gurgling baby's stomach for a second before he lightly pushed the swing again. "How can you love me when you don't know the real me? When I don't know my real self?" Natasha asked, making him stop the swing and look over at her.

"I think the person I met two years ago was the real Natasha, you didn't have any shields up around me," he answered.

Natasha swallowed hard and he could see that she was showing true emotions, but then the mask fell into place. "How can I raise a daughter when I don't even know how? When I don't even know who I am?" she asked. Clint picked Katia up into his arms and they stood in front of Natasha.

"I'm here and I'll help you," he answered.

He rested his forehead against hers. Natasha closed her eyes, resting her hand on the side of his neck. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she answered.

Clint kissed her forehead when Katia let out a gurgle. "Here, just be mama right now," he told her, placing the baby into her arms. Natasha looked at her daughter and a smile appeared on her face. "She likes the swing, just push her in the swing," He suggested. Walking over to the swing, she put the baby back into her seat before she lightly pushed her. Clint crossed his arms over his chest, watching her with a smile. The baby gurgled, her tiny feet kicking excitedly, making her mother smile softly.

After the swing, Natasha sat in the sandbox with her daughter in her lap. "You know, I dreamt about you every night," She whispered to her daughter, "You're more beautiful than I remember." She pressed a kiss to the back of her baby's head. "I don't know how good of a mom I'm going to be, but I promise you that I'll do anything in my power to make sure you are happy and safe."

Natasha leaned against his shoulder, sighing softly as he wrapped his arms around her and they watched as their daughter played in the sandbox. "At least today, let's enjoy life," he whispered. She nodded her head slowly in agreement, resting her head on his chest as they watched their daughter play.