"How about this?" Peridot pulled out a long blue skirt with a darker blue triangle at the waist. It was paired with a short halter with the same triangle design on the chest. "It would match your blue hair and pale skin."

"Uh…no," Lapis crinkled her nose. "I don't do dresses."

"Technically, this is a skirt and top."

"Okay. I don't do dresses or skirts. I stick with pants or shorts."

"But…you would look nice in this dress," Peridot protested, but Lapis shook her head.

"It's not a dress. It's a skirt," she replied in a mocking, high-pitched tone. Peridot rolled her eyes but returned the garment back to the rack. "Besides, they restrict movement. Never know when you need to run from the cops."

"What?!" Peridot cried. She slapped her hand over her mouth and looked around. A few heads glanced in their direction, but they quickly went back shopping. Lapis snorted, biting her bottom lip to avoid laughing.

"I am kidding. Well, sort of. They are restricting." They had been shopping for a couple of hours; moving from one store to the next. Lapis was not used to having money to spend on clothes. She did not intend on using a lot, but it was strange to know it was there. Lapis paid careful attention to the prices of each item she purchased while Peridot repeatedly reminded her not to worry. This, of course, was on Jasper's orders. This did not deter Lapis from sneaking glances at the tags and tallying the amounts in her head. She felt better spending the least amount of Jasper's money as possible. Peridot wasn't bad company either, and Lapis found herself enjoying the time with her. She especially liked irritating the blonde. It did not take much to get her riled up.

"You know. I just don't get it," Peridot said as they were walking back to her car. The sun had set, and the sky was cast in velvety black and sprinkled with small diamonds. There weren't many cars in the lot, linger shoppers and the mall workers. Lapis nervously glanced around for anyone else, gripping tightly on the plastic handle of her bag. She had three new pairs of jeans, three shirts, a pair of shorts, a package of socks and undergarments and a dark blue duster that she insisted on wearing out of the mall. The soft, ribbed fabric fluttered at her feet as she walked. It was not a necessity, but Lapis loved it. It ended up being a sensible purchase because the temperature had dipped, leaving the air chilly. Fall was coming.

"Get what?"

"Well, you beg for money on the streets, right? Those are essentially handouts, and you have no problem using that money. But, now, someone genuinely gives you money, but you are hesitant to spend it. I don't get it." Lapis sighed. Peridot seemed to have trouble grasping the concept of homelessness and panhandling. She had bombarded Lapis with questions for the entire shopping trip, usually repeating the same ones over and over again. From what Lapis gathered, Peridot grew up in rather sheltered, affluent family. This was a new concept to her. Lapis found it amusing at first but now it was getting old.

"It's different. I won't see those people again, and they don't expect something back."

"So, Jasper is expecting something back?"

"I don't know. She says no," Lapis replied, pulling the seatbelt over her chest and clicking it into place as Peridot backed out.

"So, either way, you are taking money from someone."

"I guess. Why does it matter?"

"I am just trying to comprehend your logic, that's all. What's to say someone who gave you money one day doesn't come back the next and demand something from you?"

"It doesn't usually happen. You keep moving to avoid familiarity."

"But, hypothetically, that occurred. What would be the difference?" Lapis closed her eyes, dropping her head back against the rest. Peridot made a point yet seemed to miss hers at the same time. "For that matter, if Jasper is actually sincere and doesn't want anything in return, would it be any different?"

"Because I am not little orphan Annie, okay?" Lapis snapped. Peridot's head shot over to her in surprise. Lapis pursed her lips together, drawing them into a thin white line as she stared at the city scenery speeding by, gripping onto the handle above the window. There was no malice in Peridot's curiosity. No ill intent or scathing judgment in her tone; it was matter-of-fact but kindly. She was trying to understand. She kept glancing between the road and Lapis as she drove, looking remorseful but interested. Lapis took a deep breath and continued in a lower, shaky voice, "I don't feel in control, and I just don't know about Jasper. I can't fucking explain it. It's just different. Can we just drop it?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry," Peridot said. Lapis pinched the bridge of her nose; she had a headache. The two girls drove in silence with only the sound of the tires against the road until they reached the apartment. They did not say a word together as the doorman greeted them or as they made their way up to the fourteenth floor. It was evident that Jasper was not home; the entire apartment was dark and silent. Peridot set the bags on the couch with her keys in one hand and ran her fingers through her hair with the other.

"Hey. I'm sorry if I upset you. I didn't mean to. Again, foot mouth." Lapis snorted, smiling weakly. She felt tired.

"I'm all right."

"Are you sure?"

"I won't say anything to Jasper." Peridot's green eyes widened in a look of horror.

"Oh, no! That isn't what I meant! I just…I want to make sure you are okay before I go."

"Go?"

"Yeah. I do have a life surprisingly enough! And a job." Lapis looked uncertainly around the dimly lit apartment, shifting uncomfortably. Tightness gripped her chest and squeezed at her stomach. That would mean she would be alone. And she had no clue when Jasper was going to be back.

"Uh-can you stay for a little longer?" Peridot huffed, taking her phone from her purse. The glow from the screencast strange shadows across her cheeks and glasses.

"I can stay for twenty minutes, 'kay?"

"Okay."

Lapis was flipping mindlessly through the television channels when Jasper returned. Peridot had left an hour ago, and she was desperately trying to keep her mind occupied while filling the silence with the noise of the television. Without saying a word to Lapis, Jasper stormed into the kitchen. There was the faint sound of a bottle being opened. After a moment, there was another clatter. Lapis sat on the couch, glancing at the time on the Blu-ray player; it was a little after ten. Lapis heard a third bottle being opened and Jasper finally came into the living room, the beer tightly clutched in her hand. She collapsed on the couch, throwing her head back against the back cushion. Lapis looked at her with quiet interest.

"Did you have a beer," she asked without looking at Lapis. Lapis glanced over at the empty bottle resting on the floor next to the couch.

"Just one. Was that a no-no? Peridot already got on me for drinking underage." Jasper snorted.

"It's fine. What time did Peri leave?" Peri? That was pretty informal.

"Uh…eight, I think? Maybe closer to nine. We got back about seven, and she hung out for a few." Lapis did not mention that she had practically asked Peridot to stay with her. Each time she made an attempt to leave, Lapis coerced her into staying longer. Finally, Peridot had to put her foot down.

"Hmm. Why did she stay so late? She doesn't get paid for those extra hours." Paid? Lapis scowled, feeling like a rock had dropped in her stomach. That's right. Peridot was being paid to keep her company. Lapis had forgotten that. Peridot took her out and stayed with her because it was her job. And she probably was expecting to get paid for those hours too. If she wasn't, she was awfully considerate of her; staying with a scared teenager afraid of being alone. Suddenly, Lapis felt foolish. Peridot ended up being her babysitter, didn't she?

"I asked her to stay," Lapis confessed, looking at Jasper through the corner of her eye. Jasper did not say anything but took a drink of her beer and rubbed the bridge of her nose. She muttered something underneath her breath; it sounded like one long explicative. Lapis sucked in her bottom lip. Well, fuck. She forgot! She genuinely enjoyed Peridot's company, despite her big mouth, and it didn't dawn on her that Peridot was (or was not) being paid for that time.

"Did she at least get your clothes," Jasper finally asked, sounding exasperated and tired. Lapis was relieved that Jasper did not bother to ask her why she had asked Peridot to stay. She wanted to avoid getting into a discussion about not wanting to be alone. It seemed pretty childish when Lapis thought about it. She did not need a babysitter!

"Yeah. Few pairs of pants, few shirts, some socks and underwear. I got an awesome duster."

"That's it?"

"Yeah. I don't need much. The less I need to carry, the better." Jasper gave a long sigh and finished off her beer. She got back up and went back into the kitchen.

"Do you want one?"

"Sure," Lapis answered. Jasper returned with two opened bottles and handed one to Lapis. That's her fourth in 15 minutes, Lapis noted. She put the mouth of the bottle to her lips. She must have had a terrible day. Lapis and Jasper silently drank their beverages as they watched some reality show. It was not long before the alcohol to take effect because Jasper's tense posture began to dissolve into a languid slouch. Her large body slid into the couch, relaxed and comfortable. She was chuckling to herself, twirling her empty bottle on the armrest. Lapis peeked through the corner of her eye as Jasper suddenly threw off her heels.

"I hate wearing this shit. Fucking pantyhose," she slurred, struggling to remove her pantyhose. She nearly toppled off the couch trying to tug off the garment. Lapis snorted, biting her lip to avoid laughing.

"You're drunk," she accused Jasper.

"No. I'm not. You haven't seen me drunk."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "I guess it was a bad day?"

"Good day, stupid people. Stupid, fucking people." Jasper got up and staggered toward the kitchen. Lapis shook her head, turned off the television and followed Jasper. She found her rummaging through the refrigerator, muttering underneath her breath. There was a half-empty bottle of vodka on the counter with a shot glass next to it. Lapis scrunched her nose at the strong smell.

"How many of those did you have," Lapis asked, picking up the bottle. Jasper jumped, hitting the door the refrigerator. Her amber eyes were full and glazed as they fell on Lapis.

"Just three, Di. I swear." Di? Her mom?

"Lapis."

"Lapis," Jasper echoed, shaking her head. "Sorry. You look like your mom."

"You're drunk," Lapis reiterated, crossing her arms over her chest. Jasper's fingers rapped against the refrigerator door in a sporadic cadence.

"Possibly."

"Definitly."

"Do you disapprove, Blue?"

"Why would I—whatever. I'm going to bed. Night." She turned on her heels. Something about a drunk Jasper really unnerved her. Jasper was so collected when she was sober, but she seemed to be a mess when she was drunk. Lapis did not feel she had the right to judge. Everyone needed something to unwind, and she had done some stupid stuff when she was drunk. Jasper did not seem like the type to let herself go that far. But, she did not know Jasper well enough to decide that. Whatever the case, Lapis did not want to watch her blunder around in this state. A strong hand landed on her shoulder, preventing her from leaving.

"Are you okay," Jasper asked, her voice was surprisingly composed. Lapis shrugged off the hand.

"I'm fine."

"You say that but are you really fine?"

"I said I am fine, so I am fine," Lapis gritted her teeth and clenched her hands.

"If you are not, tell me. If not me, someone. It's not good to keep it bottled up. It will fuck you up."

"You are so insightful when your drunk."

"I only speak from experience."

"Experience?"

"I've been in your position," Jasper acknowledged. Lapis's eyes snapped open, and she quickly turned. Jasper's face was passive and distant. She looked disoriented.

"You have?" Lapis asked, meekly.

"Yeah. Years and years and years ago. I was 14, maybe 15. Did not tell anyone. Messed me up. Don't want it to mess you up." Her words were heavily slurred; she was slightly hiccupping. Lapis wanted press her further for an explanation but she was too far gone. Jasper patted Lapis on the shoulder and gently pushed passed her. Lapis watched as she staggered into the living room and collapsed on the couch. That was a heavy secret to share with someone you barely knew. It actually shocked her. Though the alcohol might have had a hand in the confession. It was hard to believe someone like Jasper would be assaulted but it was not impossible. Maybe that was the root of Jasper's promise of violence against those men. It would make sense. Lapis exhaled slowly, seeing Jasper in a slightly different light. She glanced over at the large woman sprawled on the couch, heavily snoring.

"Night, Jasper."