A/N: No, I have not forgotten about this story. With this chapter, the story's rating changes to M (sexual content). Please take this warning seriously, I don't want to hear any complaints. For everyone old enough to read this, have fun!

Chapter 10: TOW the pillow

On Friday night, Rachel had gone to bed early, deciding to sleep through the most miserable night since she had come back into the past. Problem was, sleep didn't come.

'I can't believe you broke up with him just like that," her younger self accused for the thousandth time. "I think you love him.'

'I was deceiving myself, I thought it could be… God I don't even know what I thought. I just wanted to be with him so badly, I had been missing him so much for so long…'

'I miss him, too.'

'What?'

'I miss him. I liked him. I liked the way he kissed me, the way he touched me. I liked how he told me I'm beautiful.'

'But you do realize that he is doing the exact same thing with another woman right now? I mean, right as we speak, he's kissing another girl, touching her, telling her she's beautiful. Doesn't that bother you?'

'Of course it does. I still miss him, though. I mean, I had the feeling… that it could've been… something really special.'

'You know… I had that feeling once, too. I mean… I still have it.'

'But you said…'

'Maybe… maybe it wasn't the right time. Maybe in six years, or in ten, or in fourteen, like it was originally…'

'Are you telling me I am supposed to wait around for fourteen years for him to stop being a womanizing bastard?'

'You… I don't know. This is the first time I feel sorry for having dragged you into this. I am sorry, Rachel. I've really ruined things for you.'

'You don't have to be sorry. I… it was… nice… interesting. And I guess… I guess you were right about breaking up with him. I just wish I wouldn't feel like this. I wish I wouldn't miss him so much.'

'I'm sorry.'

She rolled to her side and curled together tightly, trying to not let desperation overwhelm her. For the sake of the young girl inside her, she had to be strong, she had to try to not get depressive again. After all, things weren't lost. They had just gone back to their original timetable.

A soft rap against her window made her freeze with terror. Then she heard another… and another. Someone was knocking against her window. Since the knocking didn't stop she tentatively went to the window and peeked around the curtains.

Joey.

Joey sat outside her window, clinging to the frame of the window for dear life with one hand, using the other to knock at the pane.

Without thinking about anything, she ripped the window open and hauled him inside.

"Hi Juliet," he said quietly with an embarrassed smile.

"Hi Romeo," she said sarcastically. "Aren't you supposed to be on a date with another girl?"

"Indeed, I am. But someone had to ruin it for me by making me feel all guilty about it."

"Sorry for the inconvenience. So, what are you here for?"

"I wanted to tell you I'm sorry." He ran his hand through his hair. "This is… so weird. I've never dated just one girl. It seemed so boring, so… unfulfilling. I mean, it's like deciding that from now on, you only want to eat just one flavor of ice cream."

"Your point being?"

"Well, I sorta thought I would really need all the other flavors, but… suddenly it felt like it was no fun anymore knowing it would mean not having the one I really want."

"What if, after tasting it, you decide it's not your cup of tea and you want to go back to the other ones again?"

"I've already tasted it, and it… I liked it. I like you, Rach. I want to see what it could be like to… have it just be the two of us for a while."

She fought a losing battle against the hope blooming inside her. "So you really want to make it exclusive?"

"Whoah… I never thought I would hear myself say that before I'm thirty, but yeah… I want that."

She smiled at him and shook her head.

"You could've broken your neck out there, climbing up the house like that."

He stepped closer to her, gently putting his hand on her scantily clad shoulder.

"You would've been worth it."

"You're so full of it," she said the words that her younger self had said to that.

"Just trying to be nice."

"It would be enough if you would try to be honest."

He chuckled a little. "Can't give me a break, huh?"

Smiling she closed the remaining space between them and put her arms around his waist. She tilted her head up and looked at him.

"I'm glad you changed your mind."

Leaning down he tenderly brushed his lips over hers.

"So I'm forgiven?" he breathed.

Her answering "Yeah," was more a sigh than a word, and when they finally started kissing in earnest, talking was completely forgotten.

When they came up for air after a few minutes, it seemed to be her younger self again who whispered an "I've missed you," against his neck, which seemed to take him totally by surprise.

"I've missed you too," he admitted after a while, surprising her even more.

They kissed again and this time their kisses conveyed what they had just told each other. It were hungry, passionate kisses, and very soon they brought both of them to the point where they had been two days ago in the park.

'So this is it?' young Rachel asked solemnly. 'This is how I'm gonna lose my virginity?'

'No, it's not. We're not going all the way tonight, I promise. Just please let me…'

'I wasn't trying to stop you. This feels… I really don't want it to stop.'

It seemed important somehow that her younger self wasn't opposed to what she intended to do with Joey, but on the other hand, she didn't quite know if she had been able to stop herself if the permission to go further had been denied.

She eagerly pushed Joey's leather vest of his shoulders and tugged at the t-shirt he was wearing. He helped her getting it off him. She let her eyes hungrily wander over him. The smooth, naked chest tapering to a slim waist, his eyes glowing in the darkness like the ones of a predator. A powerful surge of arousal swept away every bitter feeling she had nurtured over the past two days.

"God, you're so gorgeous," she managed between ragged breaths. "If they don't… take you… as an actor… you still could work as a model."

"But I'm the one who's full of it, huh?" he whispered while pushing her backwards towards her bed. She had to admit that now might have been the wrong time to give him career advice.

She took a few steps back and sat down on the bed. He sat down beside her and gently brushed the back of his hand over her breast. Only then she realized that she wore a see-through nightgown and that only the fact that it was dark in the room and only the light from the street illuminated the scene a bit, kept him from seeing her completely naked.

On the other hand, where was the harm in him seeing her naked?

"You wanna see what's underneath?"

"Boy, do I ever."

When she was about to show him, he put his hands above hers and smiled at her shyly.

"Let me."

He got hold of the hem of the nightgown and slowly ran his hands up her legs while bringing the flimsy fabric with them. Rachel lifted her arms over her head and got up again so he could get it off completely.

"Looks like we're both gorgeous," he smiled after his gaze had roamed her naked body, taking in every detail.

They lay back onto her bed and started kissing again, tasting each others naked skin, letting their hands roam over their unclothed bodies like they hadn't had the chance to before.

It got to the point where his breath became ragged and gulping, where he pushed his hips against hers again and again and where his touches started to become almost painfully aggressive.

She pushed him onto his back determinedly and kissed her way down his heaving chest and his belly to the waistband of his jeans. Joey groaned constantly now and she reined her urge to tell him to be quiet.

His erection sprang free the second she had opened the buttons of his jeans and he groaned again.

"Shh, Joey, my parents sleep right next to this room," she heard herself say. Okay, so the young one was still there.

'Wasn't exactly setting the mood,' she chided.

'Looks to me like he's way past caring about the mood. Besides, dad coming in would surely ruin the mood. What are you gonna do anyway? You don't need to crouch down there to give him a hand job.'

'I'm not about to give him one,' was the last conscious thought she had before she tried to clear her mind of all diverting thoughts and took him into her mouth.

A muffled cry came from Joey and looking up she noticed that he had put a pillow over his face. She smiled around him and got back to work. Turned out she didn't even need to use all her finely honed techniques. It took him about two minutes to reach his climax and even that seemed like he had tried to draw it out.

She moved up to him again and pulled the pillow away from his face. Watching him coming down from his orgasmic high rekindled the arousal simmering in her belly to an almost unbearable degree.

Just as she thought about how to tell him she would need him to do something for her, too, he quickly turned to her and pinned her underneath him, claiming her mouth in a scorching kiss that left her completely breathless.

"That was so good… so good, Rach. I want to… do that for you, too," he whispered while showering her face with kisses.

"Then… then do it."

"What do I do? Please tell me. I want it to… be good for you."

There was no doubt on her mind that he already knew his way around a woman's body. But the thought that he asked her about directions, which surely wasn't easy or normal for him, filled her heart with a love that she had thought belonged to the man he was going to be.

It took her a while to find her voice, but she didn't want to leave his question unanswered.

"It's like with the kisses. Playful, teasing and gentle at first… then determined and firm."

Apparently, that was all the advice he needed. He eagerly kissed her neck and shoulders, while his right hand traveled further down on her body, gently cupping her breast, teasing her nipple with his thumb. She bit her lip to keep herself from moaning, but the sensation his caresses invoked in her were getting harder to control with every passing minute, with every kiss of his smooth lips.

When his lips had reached her breasts, when the wet heat of his mouth enclosed her nipple, she gasped loudly.

"…like a baby," she suddenly heard herself say and even she couldn't quite make sense of that.

When Joey looked up, her younger self supplied an explanation. "Suckle at it… like a baby."

He nodded slowly and did as he had been told, which prompted her to grab the pillow next to her and use it to stifle a loud moan.

'You have to be careful that you don't damage his ego, you know? Giving him directions is one thing, but I don't think he likes being told about every little step.'

'He asked.'

'Yeah, you're right. Maybe I should show him something else.'

She reached for the hand that was caressing her breast and put her fingers over his, guiding him through the task of taking her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, applying just the right amount of pressure and rolling it a bit.

"Gahh… yeah…" she moaned through gritted teeth.

He continued lavishing attention to her breasts, while his hand did some more exploring. Surprisingly enough, he even had the patience to softly stroke the insides of her thighs before his fingers found the place where she started to need them very badly.

He ran his finger languidly over her damp folds, spreading the wetness from her entrance to her clit. Another loud moan against the pillow deteriorated into a wail of frustration when his finger moved away again, stroking less sensitive parts of her body.

She kicked herself for not telling him that there was something like too much teasing. Although she enjoyed the rise to even higher levels of ecstasy almost as much as it frustrated her. If only it hadn't been so long since the last time anyone had made her feel like that.

"Joey, please…" she panted.

"Show me," he whispered against her breast and ripples of excitement emanated from her lower belly through her whole body. She put the hand that had guided his caresses to her breast before, over his hand again and guided it through a series of elaborated maneuvers, around her clit, softly rubbing, then slow, then fast, then stop, then do it again. Then pressing down hard which elicited such an overwhelmingly strong sensation that it surprised even herself.

She was so caught up in what they were doing, she didn't notice him kissing his way down her body. She also totally forgot where she was – or better, who she was – because she took one of his fingers and guided it inside her, only to be surprised when they met resistance.

She tensed up involuntarily.

"…can't believe you're still a virgin," Joey panted against her belly, but for some reason, that observation didn't stop him from pushing his finger forward slowly.

'What is he doing? He's gonna…'

'No, he's not. I think, he knows what he's doing,' she replied and took a deep breath, trying to relax.

The momentary discomfort soon gave way to the thrilling feeling of having his finger inside and of feeling his thumb repeating the movements she'd taught him on her clit. She relaxed into the sensation completely and when his finger started to move in and out almost imperceptibly slow, she had to use the pillow again.

But as incredible as it felt, she still wanted more. She buried her other hand in his hair and firmly pushed his head between her legs.

'Hey, what are you doing?' young Rachel said baffled, 'Maybe he doesn't want to…'

'Well, as you said, he asked.'

Joey followed her guidance more than willingly. She let go of his hand and reached for the pillow again, silently vowing to herself that the next time they were to do this, that kind of noise reduction had to be obsolete. It was more than irritating.

While still lightly moving his finger, Joey placed light kisses on her clit and licked it ever so gently. Needing more than just that, she eagerly thrust her hips up to him. Apparently getting the hint, he went at it a bit firmer, but still much too restrained for her taste.

"Harder…" she finally panted, sensing that words would probably get her meaning across better. "Do with… your tongue… like with your hand."

He followed her directions to the T. While she had to try to keep quiet, almost suffocating in the damn pillow; her younger self was free to moan and gasp, to incessantly ramble on about how good that felt, how amazing all these new sensations were.

"Gaww… yeah… Joey… that is… so good," she heard herself say when her control over herself slipped a bit due to the amount of delicious pleasure that built up inside her to an orgasm against which what she had showed her younger self already would seem like nothing.

Joey kept going with renewed vigor after that encouragement and soon enough, the tension inside her resolved itself into a series of powerful surges of ecstasy, that had her bucking against him again and again, until all her energy seemed to have drained from her.

It had been so long that she had experienced that the last time, she felt like crying. She felt like the walls she had built around herself to keep her sane and calm started to crumble under the onslaught of emotions that experience had invoked in her.

'While you're freaking out, can I talk to him?' young Rachel asked rather coldly.

She didn't reply but still drew back, almost thankful.

Joey withdrew from her and slowly moved up to her again. With her hand still in his hair she drew him into a passionate, thankful kiss.

"Joey you were… you were amazing. That was… it was never that good for me… never."

"Wow," he breathed, sounding surprised, "From the directions you gave me, I surely thought…"

"Just told you what felt good. Still takes talent to… do it right," she smiled and kissed him again. The way he kissed her back left no doubt about the fact that he wasn't about to call it a night just yet.

She rolled him over on his back while still kissing him and let her hand wander down his body to his erection, taking it firmly into her hands. He panted heavily, obviously enjoying what she was doing, but after a few moments he put one hand on her shoulder and gently pushed her downwards.

'What is he doing now?' her younger self asked flustered.

'He apparently liked what I had been doing with him before and he wants another one of those,' she replied, her amusement cutting short the process of reverting back to insanity.

She felt her younger self struggling with her decision, eying Joey's proudly erect penis with trepidation while slightly resisting his hand on her shoulder.

'You don't have to,' she finally helped her out of her misery. 'I did it first when I was twenty six and with a man I was really in love with.'

"Joey, I'd rather not do that again," young Rachel told Joey with a surprising frankness.

"Never again?" Joey asked anxiously, lifting his head and looking at her wide eyed.

"No… just not… tonight," she whispered and continued stroking him, while he leaned his head back and let out a relieved moan.

'Good,' Rachel commended the younger one appraisingly, 'Keep him hooked on the good stuff.'

'Now I just have to figure out how to go through with it ever.'

'You just have to let me do it.'

'Don't want to step on your toes here, but I rather give Joey a blowjob than give you the control back.'

'Okay, princess. I'll step back for now. Behave, and your body is yours for as long as you want.'

Her younger self snorted a bit but seemed otherwise concentrated on making Joey feel good. It took only slightly longer this time and the pillow had once again the task of absorbing his groans.

"Why didn't you want to do it again?" he asked. "Something about me?"

"No. It's just… I felt I couldn't go through with it again. It's a mood thing, you know?"

"Rach… this might sound strange, but… being with you… it's like being with two different women."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, there is the girl who is so experienced and knows all about sex, but she says real weird stuff sometimes. And then there is you."

"Who of us do you like better? Me, the inexperienced virgin, or the other one."

"I love having sex with the other one. But I think… I rather talk to the girl who seems to be my age. God, you must think I'm insane."

"Would you think I'm insane if I told you that you're… right, in a way. That sometimes I feel like an older version of myself, like I've come back from the future?"

'You're a genius, now he surely thinks you're insane.'

"A few weeks ago, I'd be freaked out right now, would've left and never called back. But… lately… I have those dreams, you know. Like… talking to myself in the future or something."

"Really? God, Joey, I can't believe the same thing is happening to both of us! Is it… is it like he is constantly in your head?"

"No… no it's just the dreams."

"Oh, yeah, I understand."

"He was… really ripping into me for breaking up with you. He told me how I would end up chasing skirts for the rest of my life, trying to find a woman who could even remotely compare to you only to find out that she's already been taken."

"So… you just listened to him, you didn't even really want to come back?"

"I wanted to... I hadn't needed him to tell me that. Do you think we should listen to them?"

"I don't know. I mean… they know what is gonna happen in the future. So maybe if we listen to them, we won't make mistakes."

"I don't think so, we're just not gonna make their mistakes. But who knows what those were good for?"

"God Joey, you're so smart. But you know, they have all the experience, all the things they know about people and life…"

"…and sex?"

"Yeah, for instance."

"But again, don't you think it's more fun to find stuff out yourself, to not have someone constantly telling you how it's done?"

"I would find it cool to not constantly have someone telling me how it's done, but… since you mentioned sex… you said you liked it, didn't you?"

"I sure did."

"So… what if it's like this. The older self giving you pointers how it's more fun?"

"Okay… in that case… this would be acceptable. It's like… you know… an older brother or friend telling you stuff. That would be okay, I guess."

tbc

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