Edward Cullen is a rock star in the biggest band of the decade. He's America's "It Boy," but he's still unhappy. Will Bella be in time to save him? AH AU
Disclaimer: Stephanie Meyer created Twilight; I'm just toying around with her characters.
AN: I don't really like doing Author's Notes pre-chapter, but I've had the same questions from 45678 people, so I'll address them here, just once :D
1: do you write the lyrics / poems / songs for "Twilight"?
Answer: Yes. I write the lyrics, poems, and songs for this story.
2. how old are the characters / when does this take place / what month are they in?
Answer: All of these are subjective. Sometimes when I'm reading a story, I get so confused as to whether we're in April or if Bella's twenty-one, that I don't follow the main story as aptly as I should. For this reason, I've left those details to you. For the ages, which are a little more necessary, just think that Bella is around 22-24ish, and very young to be handly what she's handling. Alice is around her age, Rosalie and Edward are about the same age, and Jasper and Emmett are a bit older. No one over 29-30. See them how you see them, it's not pertinant to the plot.
3. do you have a twitter?
Answer: Yes, it's brand – spanking- new and you can most certainly add me at cevuplay . I'll try my best to update and send teasers and stuff. You can also go to the Twillighted thread, (in my profile) set up by the-glory-days.
4. a lot of plot related questions have been asked, such as things like how Esme handles things, how Edward could have felt isolated with a family as amazing as his, etc. Anything plot related will come in the chapters, not an AN ;)
Ok, so, on a happier note, my BFF and beta the-glory-days made an amazing banner for this story, its on my profile. If you haven't already, check out her story MAIL ON SUNDAYS. It's her new one, and it's already VERY promising.
On to the chapter!
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A knock at the door gets Bella's attention as she and Edward lay in a restless embrace. Edward continues to twist and turn, eyes shut tight as Bella holds him. She alternates between rubbing his back and his chest, and whispers soothing words into his ear.
"Bella." It's Carlisle. His head is ducked in as he looks at the two of them. "Dr. Crowley is on the phone and would very much like to consult with the two of us on Edward's condition, I hate to interrupt. Should I have him call back?"
"Now's not a very good time, Carlisle," she tells him, pushing Edward's hair off of his forehead. "Can you give me an hour or so?" Carlisle nods and heads back out the way he came.
"No, Bella, it's alright," Edward murmurs, twisting to face her. "You can go talk to Dr. Crowley."
Carlisle stops, waiting for Bella's response.
"Edward, no, I'm not leaving you," she whispers to him, just to him. "Tyler can wait. You're more important to me than him." Edward just shakes his head at her and kisses at the corner of her mouth. "You can sleep, I'll stay right here."
"May I recommend a compromise?" Carlisle interjects. "Edward, why don't you come with us. You won't have to talk to Crowley of course, but you can sit in and listen?"
Edward looks at Bella, and Bella nods easily. "Of course, Edward, come with us. We can sit on your father's couch while they talk terms that I don't quite understand. Maybe you can help me fill in the blanks."
Edward smiles at her widely as he sits up. "Ok, Bella, we can go sit."
"Great, great. I'll go tell Tyler that you'll be joining me, Bella. I'll give you two a minute."
When he leaves and the door closes behind him, Bella puts her palms on Edward's cheeks and stares into his eyes. "Edward, I'm so sorry, baby. I pushed you too hard, you weren't ready, and I didn't listen to you."
Edward's hands come up to cover her own, and he pulls them away from his cheeks and down to his lap. "You're trying to help me, Bella, I know that. I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough."
"Oh no, Edward, you're so strong, baby. Never think you're not strong enough. You did everything you could, and I pushed you too hard. We'll wait for a while before we go out again, ok? I'll call my dad and tell him to give me a bit longer before the drive up, ok?"
"Bella, no! We're going to see your father," he tells her. "I'm going to be the boyfriend you deserve, and I'm going to meet your father."
"Boyfriend, hmm?" Bella asks, a smirk on her lips. Edward nods and leans in close, a smile on his face. "You think you're my boyfriend now?"
"I know I am," he says with a grin, licking his lips before he rests his forehead against hers. "You're mine, remember?"
"Yours," Bella breathes, watching as Edward moves in closer, pressing his lips against hers. When he pulls back, she smiles and breathes a sigh in relief.
"I'm yours too, you know," he tells her. "I've been yours."
She nods, getting off the bed and pulling him along behind her. "Let's get this over with as quickly as possible."
Edward nods and follows behind her, shuffling his feet as he does. She grins as she enters Carlisle's study, pulling Edward over to the couch.
"Tyler, Bella's here now, so we can continue the earlier conversation with her. "Please start from the beginning, Tyler."
"Hello, Bella, it's great that we're able to converse together finally," Dr. Crowley says, and Bella can just see his creepy leer from through the phone. "Carlisle tells me you've been having a bit of trouble within the last couple of days."
"No," Bella says, shaking her head as Edward settles his head on her lap. "No trouble, just uneasy instances."
"Well, sounds like a little more than just uneasy instances," Dr. Crowley continues. "As a doctor, I don't really want to say I told you so, but… I told –"
"Enough, Tyler," Carlisle says sternly into the speaker phone. "Please act like a professional."
"I'm just trying to reiterate what I've already tried to explain to Bella," Tyler says. "I can't be blamed for my advice and warnings falling on deaf ears, Carlisle."
"Hey, Tyler?" Bella says, rolling her eyes. "If you took a step back for a second, you'd realize that this case was bigger than you or your stupid theories about how Edward could react. So what, you got something right. It wasn't like he forced himself on me, it was completely mutual."
"Mutual? You realize that your feelings could-"
"Could heal him? He's scared and learning, and healing, and I'm sorry, but the way I feel for him won't jeopardize that. He's surpassing every known stage of his condition, and I'm not going to stop him from his progress, even if that progress doesn't follow your stupid rules."
"Now, wait a minute, Bella," Tyler tries. "I don't think you understand the severity of this."
"No, I definitely do," Bella interrupts him before he can continue. "I understand completely how my feelings can change his recovery process, but I have to be true to myself, and I have to be honest with him if I ever expect him to be honest with me. So, if you don't mind, I'd like you to be a tad more professional when you interact with us. Stop treating Edward like a case-study, and do what doctors are supposed to do; treat Edward as a human, as a patient – your patient. You should be ashamed of yourself."
Tyler doesn't say anything for a second, so Bella continues. "Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to discuss Edward's progress," Carlisle, smiling happily, nods, so Bella keeps going. "Edward and I went out today, to a town nearby for coffee, and while it wasn't a complete success, we've made progress. Hopefully, within the next week or so, we can try again, and try to get to the next stage in his recovery."
Edward looks up at Bella with a proud smile on his face and kisses at her palm.
"He's already done so much in just the last month, I don't want to push him as hard as I did today, but we're going to try again, next week. We're gonna go to Seattle to see my father. That should be pretty simple. I think Edward and I have a plan on how to take this condition and make it work for us."
"You've gone out? What about the bandages. S-C patients aren't supposed to be active in the community for months into the recovery. You're going to push him too far."
"No," Carlisle says. "I don't think she is. Isabella is quite capable of testing Edward's limits without pushing too far, Tyler. She has his best interests at heart at all times, and knows when to say 'no.' I'm not worried about him in her care. She's better than any psychologist that the family could have hired. And if, in the mean time, Edward finds that he loves Bella, and she him, then who am I to stop them."
"Carlisle, you know that his feelings are a result of the condition," Tyler argues. Bella can hear his fist slam down onto what she assumes is his desk.
"Then so be it," Bella answers for him. "If it turns out that his feelings aren't as we suspect, then sure, I'll be a little upset, but his wellbeing means more to me the relationship we could have. I want him to be healed and happy and to be able to put this condition in his past. I don't want to make this a big deal."
Edward looks up at her, a frown where his smile once was. He sits up and puts his lips to her ear. "Bella, I love you, it's not my condition, you know that," his whisper is sharp and distinct. "I'm yours."
Bella nods as Edward places a soft kiss behind her ear. "I know, Edward," she whispers back. "I love you, too. I love you enough to let you go."
Edward gasps and pulls away. "No!" he shouts. "No! You can't go. Bella, don't let me go!" There's a small commotion on Carlisle's desk, but Bella's focus remains on Edward.
"Calm down, Edward, please," Bella says, reaching for him. He stands up fast and pushes Bella away.
"No, no. Don't say that. You're going to leave me!" he yells, standing directly in front of her. "Tell me the truth, Bella. Tell me."
Bella looks up at Edward sadly, holding her hands out for him to take. She knows Tyler can hear her, knows he's probably taking notes on everything. "You know my answer, Edward," she says softly, making sure all of his attention is on her. "You know that I won't leave until you tell me to go."
"Maybe you should just go now," Edward says, arms crossed defensively over his chest. "If you're just going to leave, why not now? Leave Bella. Get out of this house. You're going to do it anyway, why not now? Go live with Jacob," he sneers. His eyes are deep black, when Bella blinks the tears away.
Bella's silent for a moment, taking a deep breath as she looks up at him.
"Maybe I should then, if that's what you think is best," Bella says, shrugging his shoulders sadly, moving to stand up. When she stands, she walks to the door, tears in her eyes. "Carlisle, Tyler, we'll continue this later."
"Oh," Carlisle says. "I hung up on Tyler the minute Edward spoke up. He doesn't need to hear anything personal. I'll email him later."
Bella looks back at Carlisle, relieved. "Thank you, Carlisle. Excuse us for a minute."
She walks out of the study and to her room and waits for Edward to follow her. When Edward gets to the room, he slams the door, making her gasp. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?" he asks, stomping toward her.
"I'm going to pack," she says sadly. "You want me to go; I told you I'd leave when you asked me to."
She gets to the closet before Edward's arms are pressed tight over her chest, forcing her back to hit his chest quickly, so quickly that her breath leaves her in a rush. "I'm not finished with you yet," he whispers angrily in her ear. "You don't go until I say you go."
Bella melts back into him. "You already told me to go, Edward. I told you I would stay until you told me to go."
"Where are you gonna go, Bella? To him?" Edward asks, running his nose down Bella's jaw, his breath hot on her skin. "How quickly you drop your feelings for me over him, you capricious girl." He releases her then and pushes her toward the closet. "Go then. Pack. Get the fuck out of here."
Bella nods, her back to him and whimpers out a soft cry. She knew this was coming, she knew this is what she needed to do, but now that she's pushed him this far, she's reluctant to go. She knows that he'll stop her before she gets out the door – hopes that he'll stop her. She has to tell him the truth though, has to make sure he knows the truth, and then if he still wants her to go, she'll go.
She turns around to face him, sees his rigid posture, his still coal-black eyes and his murderous scowl. She takes a deep breath and steadies herself. "I'm sorry I pushed you today," she begins, her voice soft. "You kept trying to tell me that you weren't ready, and I pushed you too hard. I'll leave, just as you asked, but not because of Jacob, or Ness, or anyone else. It's only you, Edward."
Pausing, she glances up at him slowly. "I'm yours. My feelings for you haven't changed from what they were an hour ago. I love you. It's stupid and foolish, and it could be the worst mistake I've ever made, but I do. I love you with everything I have. Nothing in my life could compare to the way I feel when we're together, despite this condition. My feelings for you grow every day, every minute."
She turns back around to the closet before he can respond, not sure that she can watch his face as he tells her to leave again. She grabs for her overnight bag, waiting for his response, and starts to collect some of her things and putting them in the bag.
"Bella," she hears. The word is soft, like a plea, and when she turns around, Edward's eyes are still black, but his face is softened. She's not sure what to expect now, not this time.
"Yes?"
"You need to leave," he tells her softly. "Please get out of here. Please leave me. Go."
She nods, taking only what she's packed and stops in front of him, despite his request. "I love you," she whispers, kissing his cheek. "I'll always will."
She walks to the door, down the hallway and down to Carlisle's study. "It's time," she tells him, eyes watery, cheeks wet. "I'm, uh," she stutters, "I'm going to call a cab and go to the beach down at La Push. I have my phone, if anything, you know… uh, call me, ok?"
Carlisle stands to stop her, but she waves him away. "I told him I'd stay until he told me to and that's what I'm going to do. This is for the best, Carlisle."
She closes the study door fast, and scurries down the stairs, toward the front door. When she closes the front door, she pauses for a minute when she hears Edward's anguished cry. She stops, not sure she can make the call to the cab company, let alone go anywhere but here. Instead, she crumbles down next to the front door and cries.
There's a loud commotion as Bella breaks down, and then she hears Carlisle shout for Emmett, and then Esme's screams. There's a second of quiet before the sounds of running can be heard, loud steps stomping down the staircase. The front door whips open then with a frantic looking Edward.
Before he sees her curled up by the door, he screams out her name, deafeningly terrifying. She moves to stand as Carlisle and Emmett make it to the door. As soon as he hears her, he turns in her direction and runs the few feet to her, tackling her to the ground with a fierce hold.
"You don't get to leave," he tells her, holding her tight. It's not a tight lover's embrace, it's hard and cold, and so not Edward.
Carlisle and Emmett look at the two of them curiously, with Carlisle holding Emmett back. "Edward, get the fuck off of her!" Emmett shouts. "Carlisle, let me go. He's gonna hurt her."
"He won't hurt me," she tells him, her voice labored from the pressure on her chest. "Edward, let me up."
"Carlisle, you saw what he did to that fucking mirror, he's gonna hurt her. Let me restrain him!"
Edward doesn't move, but Bella does, she moves her hands up to his chest and pushes him up as hard as she can. "You wanted me to go, Edward. Not me. You can't have it both ways. I stay or I go. You choose. You chose!" she tells him as he releases her. "Get off of me and make up your mind."
She gets up to her feet and brushes her backside off, her hands wiping at the dirt from the porch. When she pulls her hands away, there's blood staining her pale palm. She looks up curiously, and then down at Edward's hand. His hand is also stained with the crimson liquid, his knuckles swollen.
"Carlisle?"
"He punched the mirror in your room, Bella," he says sadly. "It shattered at his force."
"Edward, let me see your hand," she says softly. "We need to clean this up."
"Don't touch me!" He screams, looking at her with the same murderous look on his face. "Don't touch me! God, Bella!" He says, closing his eyes. "Get out of here before I force you to stay! Get out of here!"
Bella gasps then, finally understanding what he was trying to tell her. The softened face, the defensive jealousy, the confusion. He wasn't trying to protect himself from getting hurt. He was trying to protect her!
"I'm not going," she says sternly. "I'm staying, Edward. I don't care what you want anymore."
She glances at Carlisle and Emmett, sees the confusion on their faces. She puts her attention back on Edward and watches as he looks up at her again. She steadies her gaze and makes sure he knows she's serious. "I'm staying."
His black eyes falter, his mouth twitching. "Bella, don't," he whispers. She watches as he begins to sway and closes the distance between them just in time to catch him from falling backwards, unconscious.
"Emmett, help me," she gasps, holding him as much as she can. "Help me get him back inside. It's over now."
Emmett nods and hurries to Bella's side, taking Edward and hauling him up into his arms.
"Take him to his room, Emmett," she tells him, grabbing for Carlisle. "Carlisle, wait for a moment." When Emmett disappears, she looks up at Carlisle. "He didn't want me to go, Carlisle. He was trying to protect me. I… he doesn't want this for me! This whole time, I thought he was going to push me away for him, but he was pushing me away to get me out of this, so I didn't-"
"Have to watch him fail," Carlisle finishes her sentence. "He's trying to protect you." His voice is incredulous, as is his face. "Fascinating."
"Carlisle, you have to fix his hand before he wakes up. I need to be alone with him when he comes to. Please, Carlisle."
He seemingly snaps out of his trance and nods. "Yes, that's probably for the best."
Bella races up the stairs to check the damage of her room, running into it to find Rosalie and Esme cleaning up the mess. When Rosalie sees Bella at the door, she lets out a breath. "Fuck, Bella that was so fucking scary! He punched the glass just as we all got here and screamed for you. Emmett thought he was going to kill you. He looked so angry; I'm so glad you're ok," she says, coming up to Bella and hugging her tight.
"I'm ok, Rosalie."
Esme smiles up at Bella and comes to kiss her cheek. "Tell me you're doing the right thing, Bella, please? I need to know you know what you're doing."
"I… I think I'm doing the right thing, Esme, I promise. I don't want to hurt him, he'll be… he'll be ok when he wakes up, Esme, I promise you that."
Esme nods and pulls Rosalie away from her as they go back to work. "I'm going to sit in with Edward until he wakes up. We'll come down when he's ready, ok?" The girls nod at her and she walks back to Edward's room, where Carlisle's already dressing Edward's latest wound.
"Well, Bella, the good news is, his stitches can come out today," Carlisle says. "I'm going to do that while he's asleep. I checked the bandages, to see if he messed them up any worse, but turns out… they're in perfect condition."
Bella smiles as she climbs up to sit Indian-style on the bed next to Edward. She pushes the hair off of his forehead and kisses his cheek as Carlisle finishes up dressing his fist and then pulling out the stitches. His wrists look frail and the scars are vibrant in contrast to his coloring, but the wounds are healed. She kisses each of the scars as Carlisle cleans up.
"Bella?"
"Yes, Carlisle?" she asks, looking away from Edward.
"You're the missing link," he tells her. "He's… you're the one."
Bella smiles at Carlisle and nods. "He's gonna be ok, Carlisle. It's gonna be alright."
Carlisle leans down and kisses Bella's forehead as he picks up his bag to leave. "I'll leave you to it, Bella. Thank you for staying."
"I'm not going anywhere, not anymore."
He closes the door behind him on his way out and then it's just the two of them. She curls up next to him and wraps her arms around him, her head resting on his chest. "No matter what, Edward, I'm never going to leave your side," she whispers to him softly, watching his eyelids flutter. "Never. You're going to fall, and I'm going to be there to pick up the pieces. I promise you that, Edward Cullen. I'm going to save you."
Edward sleeps for hours, late into the evening, without stirring once. Around six, Esme knocks on the bedroom door and slips inside, bringing a plate of sandwiches in for Bella, and a glass of milk. She doesn't ask any questions, just smiles at Bella and leaves the room. Bella's grateful for the silence. She doesn't know if she can take Esme's disappointed stares any longer than she just had to endure.
After eating one of the halves of the sandwich, Bella drinks her milk and curls back up into Edward's side, running her fingers through his hair softly as she hums to him.
Midnight rolls around and finally, finally, Edward stirs, waking up with a start and a gasp. He sits up bone straight, rigid and frightened and reaches out for Bella's hand. "Bella, Bella, you're still here," he says softly, partly relieved, partly disappointed.
"No matter what, Edward," she says, yawning. "You're stuck with me. I'm not going to leave you." She tells him again that she knows he's scared, that he's going to make mistakes, and have outbursts, but she tells him that none of that matters, because every time he does break down, he's healing. He's healing and getting better, and Bella makes sure Edward realizes that she's not going anywhere, ever.
"You can't stay, Bella," he murmurs sadly. "If you stay, you're going to miss out on so much. I… I don't know how long this will take, and I want to get better, I do. I'm so afraid that I'm going to make a mistake with you, that I'm going to hurt you like I did this morning, or like I did this afternoon. I…. I don't want to hurt you."
Bella hesitates for a second, thinking of what to say. "Then don't do it again, Edward. What you did today, it was an unforeseeable instance, but now we know better, we learned more about your condition today. We know more now than we ever did about Superman Complex."
Bella sees the confusion on Edward's face so she stops and smiles.
"Edward, your outburst today, it wasn't like the others. This one, it was to protect me, in a roundabout way, of course. You wanted me to go, but not because you were pushing me out, but because you wanted to save me from all this. No one's ever written about SC like that before. You were trying to be a martyr, Edward. Now that we know that, we can move on with that knowledge and I can continue to push you."
He nods, and yawns, lying back down. "Can we go back to sleep, Bella? I'm still sleepy." He stretches his hands up over his head, noticing for the first time that his stitches are out. "They're gone!" He smiles, looking at Bella with big doe eyes. "They're out?"
"Yep," Bella says proudly. "It's been a month now and when Carlisle checked the bandages, he found that they were ready to be out. Now, all we have to do is wait for your hand to heal, and all of the physical reminders of this condition will be gone. I mean, except the scars, but those will fade with time."
Edward smiles and pulls Bella close, so close that she's practically on top of him, her leg resting between Edward's. "Bella," he whispers, his breath brushing against her cheek. "May I kiss you?"
Bella nods, a smile breaking out over her face, and says, "Of course you can, Edward. Of course you can."
So he does. He closes the distance between them and tightens his hold around her, his hands looped around her waist, meeting at the small of her back. "I love you, Isabella Swan. I swear to you, I'm going to get better," he tells her before pressing his lips to hers. "I'm going to get better and prove to you, once and for all, that I'm really head over heels in love with you."
She smiles into the kiss and nods, weaving her hands into his messy hair.
"For now, it's enough just to believe," she tells him softly. "Right or wrong, I love you, too."
He pulls back, his smile matching hers, "It could never be wrong to feel what I feel for you, Bella."
She knows she shouldn't, but she agrees. Tomorrow is another day, and now that they've got this new bit of knowledge, they can move on.
They're one step closer to recovery. One step closer than anyone has ever been before.
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a/n: this project is kind of my baby. The term "Superman Complex" is completely my own fabricated diagnosis. I have no medical background. Special thanks to the -glory-days, as always, for kicking me in the ass every time I stop writing. Updates will be few and far between, but because they're so much longer than my other chapter updates, I hope that's alright with you guys.
Reviews are appreciated. I'd love to hear your feedback :]