CHAPTER NINE

AWOL

Three weeks later, Caroline found herself pacing back and forth in what was still her room at the Mikaelson mansion, casting desperate looks at the contents of her wardrobe which were spread over every surface in wild disarray. Hell, this called for emergency shopping! There was no way she could wear any of this to the bloody Fundraiser at Town Hall tonight, to which Elijah had graciously agreed to accompany her. Klaus was gone once again, as he had often been over those last weeks, in order to continue his research on the warlock. He never spoke of it, and after a few days of continuous clashes with him over his secrecy, she had stopped asking, pondering new tactics on how to wheedle the information out of him. She hadn't come up with anything helpful so far. There had been no more incidents, but the nightmares were still haunting her… which meant that the warlock must have found a way to manipulate her dreams from a distance, as Klaus, Elijah and Kol took turns searching the surroundings and always came up empty. And Caroline knew he wasn't near, she could feel it somehow. But the nightmares were as real as ever, only that something about them had changed over the last few days. They were no longer of Henrik. They were all of him now. And she hadn't told him a word about the ongoing visions.

Come on, back to more cheerful topics, Caroline.

Her eyes fell on the elegant blue evening gown draped over her bed. Hehad given it to her months ago, and she had secretly loved the way it had looked on her. So worldly, so sophisticated. She remembered the look of awe in his eyes when he had first seen her in it. It still sent shivers down her spine every time she thought about it.

She couldn't wear the dress to a town function again, as everyone had already seen it. With a frustrated cry, she grabbed her phone and texted Elena. No way to give her a call, what with all the Original super hearing around.

Lena, you need to help me. Please! Major fashion crisis! I have nothing to wear, and I need you to come shopping with me, right now!

She could virtually see Elena's giggle. All the supernatural stuff that was going on, the fighting, the fear, the threats – and Caroline still went into severe panic mode over clothes. She wondered if she was schizophrenic or just plain shallow. Her phone vibrated.

I'd like that – but what about your Original bodyguards? I can't imagine either Klaus, Elijah or Kol will be all too eager to go shopping… and you know how I feel about Rebekah. So what are we going to do?

Leave it to me. I mean… what's going to happen to me at the mall of all places? Shall we say fifteen minutes?

Sure! Still… be careful, okay?

Caroline grabbed her jacket and purse. Then she walked quietly down to the hallway, closed her eyes and concentrated on the noises she could detect within the house. Kol wasn't at home, she had heard him leave early that morning. She identified shower noises from Rebekah's room. Very good. But where was Elijah? Very slowly, she moved towards the front door, hoping he was in his room or somewhere else he couldn't see her. Come on, Caroline! No risk, no fun! She took a chance and flashed out of the house, racing all the way to the mall at vampire speed.

She had made it! A quick pang of guilt flashed through her at the thought of Klaus and Elijah, but she ignored it. She was in bad need of some girl time after such a long time of always having an Original watchdog hovering over her. She had started to develop some sort of grudging tolerance for Rebekah, but Matt's and Elena's accident was still a palpable barrier between them and did not allow for any sort of camaraderie yet. Maybe at some point in the future, but Caroline was still not over the fact that Rebekah was to blame for her best friend's transformation.

Elena arrived just a minute later, emerging from Damon's car. He waved to Caroline and settled at the parking lot with what seemed to be a bottle of something not usually compatible with driving. Elena took her arm, and together, they headed for the largest boutique Mystic Falls had to offer. Which was not very large, all things considered.

Elena sat outside the fitting room, thoughtfully sipping on a Chai. She'd had three blood bags before coming to the mall and felt relatively calm. The cravings were in check for the time being, though she didn't doubt for a second that Caroline would keep her – or rather the innocent townsfolk - out of harm's way. Which was how she had finally convinced Damon to let her go without one of them playing the watchdog. Or rather, not extending the watchdog duties beyond the parking lot. She could definitely use more girl time, and both of the brothers needed to catch a breath too. Screw the drama.

The curtain swung to the side, and Caroline stepped out in a satin burgundy evening dress, off the shoulder and clinging to her every curve.

"What do you think?" she asked skeptically.

Elena cocked her head to one side. "Turn," she ordered, whirling her index finger in a circle, and Caroline obliged, slowly turning on her heel.

"Nope. Too tight, too satiny and it makes you look… I don't know… old!" she giggled.

"Wow, thanks!" Caroline said with mock horror on her face, but grinning all the same. "Okay, next!" She disappeared back into the fitting room.

"So what's new with you? With all that's been going on, I know I have totally neglected you, and I feel awful. You have been such a rock to me, and I have not once asked you how you are holding up at the Haunted Mansion." Elena looked towards the curtain.

"Ah… well, not too much going on really," Caroline said slowly. She was glad Elena couldn't see her face, because she could probably tell something about her was different… and realize that Caroline no longer really minded being in the Originals' company. They were fascinating, each of them in their own way, and Caroline had grown to genuinely appreciate a great many things about them. Her long, earnest conversations with Elijah about anything and everything, the continuous banter with Kol, the rare but honest understanding she at times shared with Rebekah when it came to holding their own in the testosterone-filled mansion. And… her strange and continuously growing fascination with Klaus. Whenever he was at home, they spent hours talking. It had started with her questions about Thomas Cromwell, and from there, they had gone on to other periods in history. He freely shared his colourful past with her, and she was starting to comprehend just how complex a man he was. Instead of repelling her, it drew her in.

"Have you heard from Tyler?" Elena wanted to know, eyeing her warily.

"No. But I think this is a good thing, at least for a time. How would we be supposed to ever make a clean cut when we continuously see each other?"

"And how do you feel, Care?"

Caroline pondered the question for a moment. "I am still sad, but it doesn't really hurt anymore. I think my subconscious had broken up with him way before my brain and my heart could catch up. It is the best thing for both of us, but that doesn't mean that I'm not a bit sad from time to time, knowing that it didn't work out."

"Just let me know whenever you need me, okay?" Elena smiled. "By the way, Stefan spoke to Tyler a couple of days ago. He's okay… still sad, too, but he's hanging in there. He said about the same thing to Stefan that you just told me." She sipped her Chai. "So… what about Klaus?"

Caroline tensed inside the fitting room, and pulling up the zipper of the fluffy pale pink dress she thought made her look like a meringue, she took a deep breath. She pushed the curtain aside and took a hesitant step outside.

"What do you mean?"

"What's he been up to? I mean, he was never there when we came to see you, and when you came to the house, it was always Elijah who drove you."

"Oh," Caroline breathed with relief. Ugh. "He's researching that warlock and some other stuff, although I'm not sure what exactly it is he's doing and what there is to find out. He doesn't really talk about it, and he's away a lot. For all I know, he could be doing practically anything from training his Hybrid army to running for President."

Elena giggled. "President of what?"

"Don't know… the National Hybrid Association?"

"Hybrids Anonymous!"

"Hybritology!"

"And then they'll make a TV show and a movie of it!"

"How I Met Your Hybrid!"

"Two and a Half Hybrids!"

"The Silence of the Hybrids!

They looked at each other and burst into roaring laughter. After a few minutes, they sobered a bit, and Elena asked, still smiling, "Do you think we should really find this funny?"

"Seriously? If we can't have a laugh about all this absurd stuff every now and then, they are going to have us committed sometime soon."

"True," Elena replied, "but I'm not sure if it's a good idea for you to sneak out while we're not sure what's going on."

Caroline sighed. "I know. Believe it or not, I actually feel bad about it. Thinking about how Klaus is going to give his siblings hell for letting me escape, not to mention the fact that he will probably shout at me and lock me up until the end of time. But I just need this, Lena. If I'm not careful, I'll start losing my grip on reality, and then you can have me confined to an asylum in earnest."

"I know what you mean. And maybe you're right. I feel like that sometimes, and all I can think of is sitting down and watch a girly movie and have some microwave popcorn. It does ground me to an extent, but then I look at Damon and Stefan, and I'm back in the middle of fantasyland. I think we should do things like shopping, hanging out and do girl stuff more often. If they ever let us."

Which was the precise moment Caroline's phone vibrated. "Ugh," she groaned, "bets are they won't." She was right.

"Klaus," she said to Elena, letting the phone go on vibrating. Like hell would she take his call now! After a moment, the phone went quiet. A second later, she received a text.

Call Elijah immediately and tell him where you are. Klaus

She held the phone out to Elena. "I'm surprised it took the chief watchdog that long." Her eyes narrowed. No way was she going to cut short her shopping excursion.

I'm perfectly fine. I will be back at the house after lunch. Caroline

"He's really going to lock you up, Care. Maybe you should just call Elijah after all?"

"Forget it! I need a dress, and I need some time away from Frankenstein's castle. He's pissed off already and I don't think it will get any worse, so I might as well enjoy my little break." God, I'm so dead. Her phone vibrated again, and she swallowed.

NOW, Caroline!

She put the phone away and turned to Elena. "We'll probably have to hurry up a bit. Not sure how long it will take him to compel someone to track down my phone. So, what about this dress?" she asked, only to be interrupted by Damon who literally appeared out of nowhere and shoved his phone in her face. "Why is Nero going all commanding general on me?" he demanded, eyebrows raised.

Damon. Should you know anything about Caroline's whereabouts, let me know at once. If not, I would strongly advise you to go and find her. Stat. Klaus

At the same instant, Elena's phone went off. "Stefan?" she said. "No, she's fine. She's here with me. We're at the mall, shopping. Yes, I know, Damon's got a text from him, too." There was a brief silence. "Yes, he's here. He drove me over." Damon rolled his eyes, and Elena moved a few steps away to find some privacy.

"Blondie, did you actually sneak out on the Original jailers?" Damon asked, looking at her sternly.

"Yeah," she replied in a small voice. It looked like her shopping trip was over after all. Suddenly, a broad grin spread across Damon's face, and he patted her on the shoulder. "Well done. Not easy with all those Marvel abilities around you. I'm impressed!"

Caroline looked at him, wide-eyed. The she laughed out loud. "So you're not going to rat me out?"

"Are you crazy? Of course not! Any day I can piss off Lord Voldemort is a good day," he snickered. "But I will stick close to you guys anyway. Wouldn't want to have that Original riff raff deprive the beautiful ladies of Mystic Falls of my eternally handsome face should anything or anyone decide to come after you."

Caroline snorted, but she smiled nonetheless. Sometimes, Mr. Salvatore the Elder could be a good buddy after all. Elena returned, her face tense. More Stefan problems, it would seem. Damon cast her a longing look, and Caroline noticed her friend squirm under his scorching gaze. "I'll be over at Starbuck's. Call out loud if you need me, I'll hear." He smiled at Elena, then turned to Caroline.

"You look like a meringue, Blondie."

She stuck out her tongue at him.

An hour later, Caroline had reluctantly chosen the least embarrassing of the dresses she had tried on, but it hadn't really been love at first sight. Now they were sitting at the mall's only restaurant and had just ordered their lunch.

"So," Caroline said, taking a sip of her iced tea, "what's up with you and the boys now, Lena?"

Elena choked on her coke. "What do you mean?" she asked, avoiding Caroline's eyes.

"I mean that despite the fact that you told Damon you had chosen Stefan, he is sticking around. And I've seen you three together for weeks now. You are my best friend, Lena, and I can see you are even more confused than you were before you turned. Am I wrong?"

"No," Elena sighed unhappily, "you're not. It is killing me, no pun intended. Before I turned, I was sure that Stefan was the right choice. After everything he did for me, after everything we went through together, I felt that it was the right thing to do. You know that when my parents died, I somehow lost the connection to life. Stefan gave that back to me. He brought me back from a grey, colorless world. He was so good for me. It was pure and simple. Well, as simple as it gets in all this supernatural mess." Elena looked at her hands, and Caroline thought she had never seen her this sad. She covered Elena's hand with hers and said gently, "Go on."

"I thought nothing could ever shake what I felt for Stefan when all of it started. And then Damon shows up and gradually starts turning my world upside down. He was so cruel, so bad, so merciless at the beginning. I really despised him, Care. But slowly, imperceptibly, he crawled under my skin. And I can't get him out. I never thought he could actually make a turn for the better, but he did. Oh, he is still badass, and I don't believe that will ever change. It probably shouldn't anyway because it would no longer be him then. Damon makes everything so easy and so complicated at the same time. Everything is a challenge with him. Sometimes I find it exhausting, sometimes exhilarating. Stefan is soothing, like a balm, whereas Damon is electricity. I don't know what I need anymore, Care. With all those heightened emotions, it only gets worse, especially where Damon is concerned."

"How?"

Elena looked around tensely to see if Damon was somewhere within hearing distance and lowered her voice to the point of being barely audible. "I don't know how to say this but… God, I want him. I want him so badly it causes me physical pain. This is not just about sex, though he turns me into ash just by looking at me. I want him because he is strong, daring, protective and so passionate about everything. Bloody hell, I even want him because he can be such a jerk and because he looks so hot with his damn bottle of Scotch at the Grill at 10am. And I used to hate seeing him like that, at least that's what I always thought!" She shook her head desperately. "Care, I think I am going crazy. This is not the right thing to do, and I should so not be feeling this!"

Caroline snorted. "Oh please. Spare me the good girl code crap. This is not the fifties, and you are not destined to eternal damnation for wanting a man, especially one who turns you on like that. And who loves you more than his own life, for that matter."

"That's what I am not so sure about, Care. He's Damon! I know he loves me, but I'm still not sure he is capable of giving me the kind of love I always thought I wanted. Sweet and pure, you know what I mean? Then, whenever I am close to him, he totally overwhelms me and I can't tell up from down anymore. And I keep asking myself if this eternal turmoil is what I really want from a relationship. Sometimes I think I do. Sometimes it just feels right," Elena whispered unhappily.

"Lena, as we all know, I am a total expert when it comes to failed relationships, so you should listen closely to my advice." Elena's lips twitched. "I know I always said Stefan was your epic love, and I truly consider him the brother I never had. I wish him all the happiness in the world. But if you ignore your feelings for Damon – and the fact that they are heightened does not imply they have to be wrong – it would not be fair to any of you. Maybe you are destined to have two epic loves in your life, who just happen to be brothers. And yes, maybe you are destined to hurt one of them very deeply. But feelings like yours for Damon can't just be dismissed. It is very noble of you wanting to stick with Stefan, because you fell for him first and he went through a really bad time for you. Then again, so did you for him. Only here's the thing: acting out of a feeling of obligation or habit is not fair to him and will suck for you in the long run." Caroline thoughtfully sipped her iced tea.

"So think very carefully about what you really want. If it helps any – I have a feeling Damon is no less steadfast than Stefan, when given the chance. And those two care for each other so deeply, I think not even you could break that bond for good, if that's what worries you."

Elena looked at Caroline with big eyes. "Wow. That was… something. Though I have to admit that I am a bit baffled right now – you were always so totally on Stefan's side! What happened?"

"Let's just say that I kind of opened up to the idea of you and Damon a little more lately. A lot of things have been going on, and I think I'm learning that maybe not everything is as black and white as I used to believe," Caroline replied cautiously.

"Thanks, Care… and I know you are probably right. Just need to wrap my head around it." She sighed deeply. "If only he wasn't driving me so totally insane! I can't think straight anymore when I'm around him."

Sound familiar, Caroline?

"You'll sort it out eventually. Did anything happen, anyway? Since Denver, I mean?"

"Nope. Whenever he looks at me in that Damon kind of way, I just chicken out and run off."

"Sounds like long and veeery cold showers for Mr Salvatore the Elder!"

"For him? Why do you think I spend the better part of my days in the damn bathroom?"

And they burst into laughter again.