Hey again. Life has been kicking me about a bit recently, but I managed to squeeze enough time out of my day to get this chapter up. Hope it doesn't disappoint.

Naomi

I'm enjoying myself...really enjoying myself. So why is it I feel like I'm telling the biggest lie I've ever told?

Hearing the door close quietly behind Emily yesterday was like a vault being sealed. The past...and if I'm honest a good part of my rosy, imagined future... was now the other side of that sturdy frame. And it hurts...a lot.

I must have cried for half an hour after she went. Hugging myself like I used to when I was an angsty teenager and, now she'd left, allowing big tears to fall for my lost love. Because that's what she is. I had my chance, back at Roundview when Emily Fitch worshipped the ground I walked on. I lost count of the times I snubbed her, rejected her and generally made her life a misery. All because I wouldn't...no couldn't...allow myself to give in to the emotions which were tearing me apart. She could ruin my life, I kept telling myself. Alone in my bedroom, with the world shut out and my iPod plugged firmly into to my ears, I could maybe allow myself to dream, to imagine what life would be like if I said yes to her...just once. But in the corridors of Roundview...out in the pubs and clubs? In public? No chance.

So when I did give in, that night by the chilly lake when there were no excuses left and it was me who leaned forward and captured the sweet lips that had sought mine so often, it was as if my whole world tilted sideways. Everything I thought I knew about myself was swept away in a tangle of naked limbs and liquid brown eyes. Suddenly confident hands possessed me and Emily took me somewhere no teenage boy had every got close to.

But it wasn't even just the amazing sex. And oh boy was it amazing sex.

OK, my previous experiences hadn't exactly lived up to the sort of lurid promise that glossy magazines and romantic books (which were my only source of reference up to then) made me. Clumsy boys with rough fingers and sloppy, stubbly kisses were a real let down, and then lets just say my few full sexual encounters were even less satisfying than the adolescent foreplay which preceded them. Maybe if I'd slept with an older, more experienced lover in my teens, I might have something to measure that night with Emily against. But even then...and with the experience of living with Cook (who actually can be quite a considerate lover on occasion)... what happened by that cold water, on crumpled, damp clothing, was a cosmic supernova.

Emily Fitch, with her target at her mercy, proved that she didn't need a dick to make me happy. Quite the reverse in fact. I came so fantastically hard, I almost passed out...but like I said, it wasn't even 'just' the sex.

The after sex cuddling, the murmured words of what I know now is love and just the sheer joy of being alone and wrapped around a contented Emily Fitch was totally unnerving. After that is. While it was actually happening, I was as happy as any woman has a right to be.

Which of course scared the living shit out of me.

And that's why I fled the next morning, leaving her to throw desperate words after my cowardly, disappearing body. Words that burned into my brain like a fiery brand. Words that made me so ashamed, I spent the next evening on her doorstep, holding her warm hand in mine through that stupid cat flap while I sobbed out some lame excuse about nothing being that simple...love that is.

Another big fat lie to add to my shameful tally of Campbell untruths.

So I couldn't blame her at all for looking elsewhere when I abruptly fucked off to Cyprus to meditate on my same sex doubts for 6 whole weeks. 6 weeks in which she learned to live without her daily Campbell fix. 6 weeks in which, with college on the long mid term break, Effy Stonem slipped seamlessly into my place and smoothly replaced me as Emily's love interest.

A fact that broke my heart so badly when I got back, that in my misery I gave in and let Cook 'make me feel alright' over a chipped and squeaky desk as he so charmingly put it. The sex was OK...ish, but the aftermath was terrible.

It all started as some sort of fucked up revenge for Emily moving on. Something to hold onto while she was so obviously loved up with the beautiful Ms Stonem. Something to look forward to when yet another lonely night in the room I used to think of as my sanctuary was impossible to stomach. Oh, and someone to fuck the daylights out of me for half an hour at least, banishing thoughts of soft brown eyes and smooth creamy skin.

My mother couldn't have disapproved more if she'd come up to my room and chucked a bucket of cold water over our naked and sweaty bodies. My mum loved Emily as much as I did and she knew without me saying a word that Cook was very much a pale substitute. Actually, as a guy, she quite liked his cheeky chappie exterior and charming smiles, but that doesn't mean she saw him as anything more than a convenient tree trunk for me to scratch my itch on. Once it got more regular, she started worrying about what sort of future I was planning with this engaging, but obviously morality free guy.

How it happened, I don't think I could even explain, but in a whirl of exams, drugged up parties and icy winter days spent obsessively shagging Cook to prevent me thinking about...well about her, college was suddenly over...and so were my dreams of winning Emily back. Distant universities beckoned for us all, apart from Cook of course. Him and Thomas Tommone having one single thing in common...being expelled. Cook for...well, just for being Cook. Thomas for having the misfortune to be the unofficial DJ at the under age club night where that strange girl Sophia Moore offed herself by jumping off a balcony, high on MDMA. Our new Principal of Roundview...the odious Dr Blood...took great pleasure in ending Thommo's dreams of a proper education in the UK. Last I heard, our African friend was in Manchester, still spinning vinyl for a living, but with a proper salary and the ever faithful Pandora Moon as his permanent assistant.

Me and Cook? Well, he hung on to me like a limpet as I slaved my way through a first class degree course...which ended up being expensive AND useless. None of my dreams worked out when you think about it. No going off into the sunset with the adoring Emily, no well paid job at Westminster as a first rung on the slippery political ladder I'd been determined to climb. And now?

Now I'm in a posh flat, mostly paid for by Cook's marching powder sales plus my meagre wages as a lowly journo on a free sheet local paper. My 'boyfriend' is a drug dealer, almost certain to get his collar felt some day soon, then locked up, leaving me with sky high rent I could never afford and a job I hate. My ex, having turned up so unexpectedly with Ms Stonem still in possession, had slept with me, then almost without a pause, fallen straight back into her girlfriends bed. Emily's cries of genuine passion with Effy still haunted me.

Life is pretty shit all round then, isn't it?

So why did I start off by saying I'm enjoying myself then?

Because for the first bit of the evening/night, I was. Enjoying myself that is.

After I'd cried for a bit longer on Saturday morning, I eventually got myself together. Emily was gone, but I'm in my early twenties, I scolded myself. Its not too late to have some fun. With Cook on his long weekend dealer tour, getting fucked up in Manchester (and bringing back no doubt, industrial quantities of illicit chemicals) I had our place and in fact all of London town at my disposal. I'm young, reasonably attractive and (OK Cook hasn't had the memo yet but...) newly single. Time to live a bit, yeah?

So after a half eaten lunch of peppery green salad and some crusty Italian bread from the deli, I showered and got out my party clothes. Then I dug out that scrap of paper from my knicker drawer and called the lovely Emma.

Who as it turned out, was surprised but very pleased to hear from me. She even cancelled her own plans for the evening to meet up.

I fortified myself with that half empty bottle of Sancerre which was in the fridge, using the last delicious mouthful to wash down one of Cook's private stash of little blue party poppers. Fuck knows what's in them, but on the rare occasions I allow myself to indulge, I've always had a great night. Sort of a cross between the steel hit of high quality amphetamines and the mellow rush of really good MDMA.

Tonight...or more accurately last night...was no exception.

Emma was...well...as much fun as last time...squared.

No, really.

When she turned up at my block to pick me up (no point in me being coy...she'd already had the grand tour...with knobs on) she looked downright ravishing. Long dark hair hung over her creamy shoulders and that pretty face, with its slightly disturbing echoes of a certain Fitch girl, was still gorgeous in full daylight. A simple black dress, high at the leg and low at the top, emphasised her...err...assets a treat. She didn't know of course, that she was playing second fiddle to the actual object of my lust, and I made sure it stayed that way. I kissed her gently on the cheek as she hovered in my hallway. OK, a bit formal after we'd shagged so recently, but I thought it best not to make too many assumptions. Look where that got me with E...well, you know what I mean?

Emma giggled prettily at my formality and cupped my face in her hands as I pulled away. Her eyes searched mine for a moment. I don't know what she was looking for, but she seemed satisfied with what she saw.

"I'm really glad you called Naomi" she breathed, smiling brightly..."I thought maybe you'd decided to get back in that old closet...so, where is lucky Jim anyway" she said, scanning the flat behind me "...don't get me wrong...the other night was fun...but will I have you to myself tonight...threesomes are so last year?"

Her laughter tinkled in the empty flat and I remembered how much fun we'd had that night without Cook's overpowering presence. Heat flooded my stomach as I recalled her breathless moans of approval at my newly confident lesbian caresses.

"Yeah...just little old me tonight. Cook is in Manchester until Monday, so the night is ours...and hopefully the morning too?" I finished with a timid smile, hoping that wasn't too presumptions.

"Just little ol' Naomi is fine with me" Emma said huskily (again making my heart flutter, both at her tone and the similarity with err...someone else) "...we can make our own fun, yeah?"

I flushed a bit more and to cover my embarrassment gave her a hug, which she returned with interest.

I'd decided on a simple blue cocktail dress with silver edging. It hadn't been worn before, mainly because I normally have an aversion to showing quite that much of my modest tits, but tonight looked like being very different to any other night out in living memory. The dress was just one of many firsts, I hoped...

Emma scanned my body with appreciative eyes when we stopped hugging.

"Wow...you scrub up rather well Miss Campbell" she grinned "So...shall we...?"

Locking the front door behind me, I spared a glance at our neighbours identical wooden panelled entrance along the hall, but there was no sign or sound to show whether anyone was in. I hoped not...even my new brave persona wasn't comfortable about rubbing Emily's nose in my 'date night'

Getting down to the car park, I saw Emma's cab still waiting. Luckily for us. In some parts of the East End, taxi's just don't hang around after dropping fares. Too many teenage hoodies with greedy eyes on their cash boxes. But this address is pretty up market, so the Merc was sitting there waiting with his engine running.

I couldn't stop myself looking upwards as the driver opened the door, at you know who's window. Just in time to catch a flash of movement behind the blinds. Someone was watching us leave and it certainly wasn't Elizabeth Stonem...that's if she actually was away at all this weekend. Emily's bit of deceit over her girlfriend's seduction had me doubting everything she said now.

But I ignored the butterflies that particular bit of casual voyeurism gave me and got into the car with just a tiny smile of satisfaction. Revenge is sometimes too good to pass up on, yeah?

Sadly, that was more or less the high point of the evening with Emma, But then I need to tell you more about that, painful as it was, I suppose.

XXX

Emily

I reeled away from the bedroom window with my hand over my mouth. Fuck...she's already dating, my mind sang...how did we go from that amazing reconnection a few days ago to this? I fucked up,..I know that more than anyone. I should have taken control, done something..anything...rather than fall into bed with Effy straight after spending hours in another bed with Naomi. But I was weak, compliant. Effy always knew how to push my buttons, right from the time she claimed me at Roundview. Flattery, sly caresses and a filthy mind were her main weapons. Back then I was vulnerable after Naomi had disappeared... for good for all I knew. I was easy meat for the most popular girl in college to seduce.

Back then I had an excuse though. Naomi didn't want me it seemed, Effy did. Even though she'd mown down unknown numbers of male admirers up to that point, once she decided to try the grass on the other side of the fence, she almost never looked back. That 6 weeks Naomi was AWOL? I had the most intense and prolonged sexual fun of my entire life. Up to that point anyway. And even if the night at the lake with Naomi had been a high water mark I never thought I could top, Effy made it her business to try. We had sex everywhere...empty classrooms, that little patch of trees at the back of the college fields, alleyways, toilets and many many times in the privacy of her bedroom while her mother demolished bottles of gin downstairs, uncaring and insensible to the cries and moans of two girls learning everything about each others bodies above her.

I might have been green as grass going into the relationship, but by the time Naomi arrived back home, I was utterly corrupted, in the nicest possible way. No one ever said Effy Stonem was afraid to try something new. Once she decided that being with a girl was good for her, she set out to educate me, even though I was the 'out' lesbian of the relationship. Toys, role play...even once, in a seedy club toilet after stripping her flimsy dress off and hanging it on the door hook (Effy never was one for much in the way of underwear), she dusted her nipples and clit with strong MDMA, leaned back, stark naked against the steel wall and ordered me to lick it all off her...slowly...Jesus, I don't know how hard it made her come, but I was trembling with excitement without even being touched, kneeling on that cold floor, worshipping her with my eager tongue. Yes, I think I can safely say Ms Stonem comprehensively advanced my education that summer.

No wonder Naomi had no chance of winning me back when she finally turned up again. I had been hurt by her once too often, and now...now I had something of my own that wasn't constantly being snatched away. No more hanging around the steps of college, hoping for a glimpse of peroxide hair. No more suffering snubs and indifference when I tried to be friendly. No, Effy was completely at ease about PDA's and letting the world know that I was hers. Holding hands, check, kissing hello and goodbye, check. Walking me home (well at least as far as the corner of my road...things hadn't changed THAT much at Chez Fitch) and all the other things girlfriends are suppose to do. As far away from the cloak and dagger stuff I had to go through with Naomi as its possible to get. Shagging Effy was so easy compared to pursuing a reluctant Naomi.

But all that aside, I still carried a torch for a certain Ms Campbell. I admit it now...now that its too fucking late of course. Because Effy quickly reclaimed me the other night too and I made no real attempt to stop her. Part guilt at my betrayal, part loyalty and another part obligation. Whatever the makeup of that stupid decision, I know now it's cost me everything.

Because nothing has really changed in all the years I've been with Elizabeth Stonem. I'm still crazy in love with Naomi, but can't break the hold Effy has over me.

Can't resist when she beckons.

But seeing Naomi laughing and obviously at ease with that pretty brunette downstairs made my heart sink like a stone. Moving on...that's what they call it, isn't it? At least for one of us.

XXX

Naomi

The club was dimly lit, noisy and full of people. Mostly gay people it has to be said. Emma knew the place and judging by the hello's and smiles she got from both sexes when she walked in with me, this was a regular haunt for her. Not that I went without attention. I had tried to dress to impress and it wasn't just Emma who shot me an admiring glance or two.

Only when she went to the toilet did I encounter anyone less than polite. I know guys frequent gay clubs for different reasons. Some just to see what all the fuss is about, some because they are in the closet and crashing a gay club with your straight mates is a good way to eye up the merchandise without getting found out...oh, and like tonight?...Some guys do it because they think that gay girls are just misguided and after honing their skills on other women, will swoon at the first erection they see.

Eric, his name was. Not that I asked. We were into our fourth drink by then and the alcohol and tablets were really kicking in. I gave Emma one (a tablet, you perv!) and we were both grinding our teeth and getting into some heated tongue wrestling already.

So when 'Eric' sidled up to me and flashed a laser honed smile, I almost reverted to type. Normally and without tonight's chemical enhancement, I use my middle finger and a withering glance to put off would be male suitors. I might have spent the best part of four years pandering to Cook's permanent adolescent sex drive, but that didn't mean I wanted to replace him with a perma tanned TOWIE clone. Cook might be rough round the edges, but he's not exactly metro-sexual, if you know what I mean.

But I was buzzing with the MDMA and neat tequila, so I amused myself for a moment, tolerating his nuclear strength aftershave and lack of personal space sensor.

I smiled back and allowed him to exchange the drink in my hand for a full replacement. I knew Emma was only a few moments away from reclaiming me after going to the loo, so I just moved back slightly so his body wasn't touching mine and let him have his shot. Poor sap.

The pick up line he used was as cheesy and absurd as I expected.

"Hey" he said, using those unnaturally straight teeth to blind me some more "I'm Eric...not seen you in here before...could I just say something, beautiful?"

I inclined my head and fluttered my eyelashes. I was laying it on way too thick, but Eric wasn't exactly the perceptive type it seemed.

"I'd pay a hundred quid just to see you eat a banana" he said, arching his eyebrows and grinning even wider. I almost laughed out loud, but covered my amusement by swallowing a healthy amount of cocktail. Really...a fucking banana? Not exactly subtle, our little fellatio warrior.

I couldn't resist...this was too fucking tempting.

"That would be a shame" I said, slurring my words deliberately "...actually I prefer the real thing, you know...you get such a tasty treat at the end...?"

His eyes went super wide and I think his libido selected top gear. I bet that lamo pick up line had never worked before, so he was doing everything but drooling at my teasing.

"Yeah...I'm a bit rusty...you know out of practice and all that, but I'll bet..." I said, leaning closer. His eyes were locked on my lips as if he was expecting me to drop to my knees and fish his dick out there and then. But I'd spotted Emma coming towards us, so I brought the charade to an abrupt end after one last sentence "...you're the sort of guy who lets a girl have time to enjoy a nice big one...yeah?"

I swear you could hear him swallow over the sound of the thumping PA. Lucky for me I had no intention of fulfilling his oral sex fantasy, tonight or any other night. Fuck, even Cook has stopped asking me for that little nasty favour.

I straightened and gave him a sympathetic look as Emma approached from behind him with a grin on her face like she knew exactly what I was up to. Time to let my priapic would be seducer down with a bump

"Oh damn...sorry err... Eric...my girlfriend is coming over and she's the jealous type" I winked, watching his little bubble of hope deflate as quickly as his erection. "Thanks for the drink though...I really hope you're luckier with the next girl you use that line on...although you'd probably have more luck with the guys mate...I bet plenty in here would be happy to help you out with that little...problem?" I flicked my eyes down to the obvious bulge in his pants.

His look of absolute horror was worth the admission price alone. Cruel I know, but what's a girl to do?

I had time to wonder idly why guys find the idea of sex with another guy so awful, but drool over the possibility of seeing two girls go at it, before Emma slung her arm over my shoulder and kissed me soundly on the mouth. When we separated, Eric was nowhere to be seen.

But that was the high point of the night in retrospect. OK, we danced, laughed and had a few more drinks to keep the effects of the chemicals under control, but my mind kept coming back to another sexy brunette, probably crying in her lonely apartment after I had flaunted my 'date' in front of her. I tried to let it go...just go with the flow and allow the MDMA and the closeness of Emma's lush body against mine to turn this date into something more than just a fun night out. But by the time the music turned slow and couples of both sexes began to do more than just writhe against each other, she was noticing something wasn't quite right.

I let her kiss me...several times. Being in a gay bar meant no one even flickered an interest in two girls doing that, but she could tell my heart wasn't in it.

"Call me cynical Naoms..." she whispered in my ear as the music got slow and sexy. I shuddered with something close to distaste as that nickname registered "...but unless you've been turned by that sad dickhead earlier...something else is bothering you?"

Guilt washed over me as she pulled back and stared into my eyes. I'd set up this date to dispel any thoughts of Emily Fitch, and yet all it was achieving was to remind me what I was missing. Emma's body was beautiful and having it pressed against me was all I thought I wanted. But it was a pale imitation of the body I craved. When she laughed...or whispered naughty things in my ear, it was as though I was reliving the last time I held Emily in my arms. I felt suddenly angry...at myself and at Emily. Why couldn't I just move on?...Accept my sexuality, sure...but not with a love I lost years ago. A love who definitely belonged to someone else now...someone who'd kept hold of her all those months and years I had been absent?

"I'm sorry Emma...I..." I mumbled as she carried on looking into my eyes. There was no fooling her and I wasn't about to make things worse by trying.

She pressed a cool finger to my lips, stopping my lame attempt at an explanation.

"It's OK...I get it hun. There's someone else...right? Someone you're trying to get over...forget? And I'm betting it isn't that nice guy we shared a bed with a few days ago? He's your guy...but he isn't the one, is he?"

No more lying, I thought sadly. Time to fess up.

"Yes...you're right..." I said, looking away from those searching eyes and reaching down to hold both her hands in mine. "...her name's Emily...we were...well, very close at 6th form college..but I was in denial for ages back then, ended up shacking up with Cook because...well because it was safer. Now she's moved in next fucking door believe it or not. And now I can't get her out of my mind"

"Fuuuck..." Emma said slowly "...that's harsh. But why bother with me then? Why not just get back with her...this Emily girl?"

"She's...well, she's with someone...someone she's been with for ages. So its not really a goer?"

"Ahhh" she nodded "now it makes some sort of sense. Well babe...you've got two choices, haven't you? Move home and/or dump the unfortunate Cook, or just ask this Emily to make a choice between you and her partner. I take it she hasn't just moved in next door though...you two have had a...moment...?" she asked.

I nodded guiltily. 'moving in next door' was a thin summary of what had actually happened. Shagged each other senseless was more accurate.

"Yeah...you could say that. But both of us feel like shit about cheating on our partners. Oh, and I 'accidentally' heard Emily getting a good seeing to the night after we...well...got reacquainted.

Emma shuddered.

"Fuck, that would have hurt...I bet. But if you say you're both feeling regret...doesn't that tell you that you have to move on yourself. If she's still hooking up with her other half, maybe she thinks the time with you was a one off?"

I shook my head sadly. If that were true...

"Nope. She called round this morning. Told me she still loved me. I told her to fuck off more or less. Threw that overheard shag in her face and more or less said it was a mistake"

"But it wasn't...was it?" Emma said slowly. "Not for you and not for her either by the sounds of it. So...coming out tonight...calling me...was just rebound stuff?"

I nodded, shamefaced. It was what it was and there was no point lying about it.

"I'm sorry Emma...I do really like you and I thought..."

"You thought a night out with someone you knew was well up for it would block it all out?" she said, but as I looked into her eyes, it wasn't bitterness I saw but wry amusement.

"Yeah" I said "..about sums it up. Bitch ain't I?"

"Proper bitch" she said and grinned. I must say, in her position I wouldn't be quite so generous.

"Look Naomi...we've had fun tonight. Everyone in here has...apart from poor Eric...lets just call it a night and get you back. You have some thinking to do, and taking me with you wouldn't help that problem at all. I take it Emily is home tonight?"

"I think so...her other half is in Paris this weekend" I said

"Right...then we need a taxi each and you need to knock on her door as soon as you get home"

"B..but it's late..she'll be asleep" I mumbled

"I doubt that...she's probably imagining I have you naked and gasping right now...which would actually be a lot of fun...but..."

"I can only apologise again" I said regretfully. On any other night, naked and gasping with Emma would have been way too much fun to turn down.

XXX

Half an hour later, with just a chaste kiss goodbye to show for the evening, I stepped into my lobby and called the lift. Getting to our floor and holding my shoes in one hand, I padded down the empty corridor to my front door, then took a deep breath and carried on walking.

I knocked firmly on the Fitch/Stonem door and waited, heart pounding. There was a few seconds delay, while while I listened to the faint murmur of the TV being quickly shut off. Then quick footsteps.

The door opened slowly and Emily stood there, eyes red rimmed and wearing a ridiculous, but curiously sexy set of white and pink teddy bear pyjama's. She looked adorable, vulnerable and utterly irresistible.

So I didn't...resist that is.

I could feel my feet carrying me forward. My voice saying stupid stuff like "I can't...can't stand it..."

Then we were kissing frantically...and stumbling into the silent apartment. The door slammed behind me.

"Bedroom...now" I heard myself say.

XXX

OK, more drama next week, with news on the absent partners. You want to know about what Cook and Effy have been doing while this has all been going on, well, don't you? Hahaha, I hope so!