A/N: Goddammit I keep forgetting this story exists urgh.
Stanny time yay
Enjoy~
The thumping of the music around him just seemed like too much. People constantly brushing up against him and ramming into his shoulder was putting him on the edge of picking someone up and throwing them across Cartman's living room. He looked around with hazy eyes, thumb stroking over his half-empty fifth bottle of beer. Or was it the sixth? He stopped keeping count after the first hour. It was free and available and it seemed to be the only thing that was keeping any warmth in his rigid body.
Questions about himself and Kyle seemed to be circulating non-stop around him, every goddamn person in the small party giving him that look. Well, one of two looks. Either the annoying sympathetic gaze or the 'you must have really fucked up' glare. It was easy enough to tell just who was on his side and who was siding with his now ex-boyfriend. Luckily he seemed to have the majority on his team. He knew well enough that most of them sided with him for the mere fact of he was more popular than Kyle, not to mention that he'd actually shown up to the party, avoiding suspicion.
'He's probably with Kenny,' he thought bitterly, taking another long swig of the forgiving amber. He noticed early on that the blonde had never showed up, and Stan knew it was for one of two reasons: Either he was just trying to stay out of Stan's way lest he get his ass kicked, or he was busy putting the moves on Kyle now that he was single. The noirette growled furiously at the thought. It wouldn't be hard for Kenny to woo his way into Kyle's pants, he knew the redhead well enough. Anything that upset him in the slightest made him vulnerable and willing to do anything to get his mind off of the matter. Many of Kyle's angrier and sadder days had been spent naked in Stan's bed, begging him to go another round or two just so he could put his stress behind him.
He shut his eyes and furrowed his brow, aching, fleeting memories of their relationship raining upon him like a hurricane. Kyle's smile when he first told Stan that he loved him. His laughter when Stan stuttered the response in his nerves. The softness of his lips, the clean and fresh minty scent that seemed to follow him wherever he went buried deep in his hair. His skin pressed against Stan's, marred with sweat. Fervent whispers, pleads for his touch. Slender, practiced fingers playing with and tugging Stan's hair. The way that their bodies seemed to perfectly form with each other. Deep, metallic green eyes staring at him with what could only have been love as Stan thrust into him, little gasps and moans breaking out of his pale throat. Kyle had been the essence of perfection to Stan. At least...in the beginning.
He groaned and shook his head, looking around at the other party-goers, glaring furiously at couples latching onto each other. They were so fucking happy. They didn't have a care in the world except where the nearest condom was. And, most prominently, they didn't have to worry about the fact that they'd probably just lost their best friend in the worst matter that they possibly could have.
"You doing okay?" a voice asked softly, breaking him from his envious scowling. A voice that made his heart miss a beat. He whirled around and found Wendy staring at him concernedly.
"Yeah. Peachy," he groaned, not really wanting to deal with two exes in one day.
Wendy pouted a bit, "No, you're not. Do you wanna talk about it?" She had no idea why she was walking up to him with the intent of comforting the guy, but a part of her couldn't help but ache seeing him so obviously distraught.
Stan paused and pondered this for a moment, "I...I don't know," he sighed exhaustedly. "It's been a long day, Wendy."
She reached up and tugged on his arm a few times. "C'mon," she jerked her head towards the front door. "Let's talk outside away from all...this," she gestured around a bit. Stan hesitated before allowing her to lead him on the way. He was riding a heavy buzz and talking to someone who had common sense like Wendy sounded like a good idea. Besides, he knew well enough that she wasn't biased towards either himself or Kyle. She still hated that he left her, and she hated Kyle for being the one she was left for. She'd know the answers.
They made it out into the frigid night air, watching their breath escaping into the wind as they leaned on Cartman's front porch railing. The two of them stared out into the street, both looking for the right thing to say.
Stan started slowly, "Wends, I figured you'd be jumping for joy over this."
She chuckled humorlessly and shook her head, "No. I care about both of you, even if I do want to punch both your lights out sometimes..." she paused, looking up and frowning at him. "Stan...what happened?"
He shrugged, playing with the label on his bottle. "Kyle's being a whiny little pussy and took it out on me."
Her frown turned into a glare, sharp grey eyes scanning over the boy in a mix of disgust and disbelief. "Stan, I know Kyle well enough to know that is not the reasoning. He doesn't get angry over just anything."
He looked at her, his face falling sheepishly. "I...I don't know what happened exactly," he muttered. "He was angry about some stuff I said...I was angry that he was letting Kenny hang out with him all the time..." he glanced away and sighed tiredly. "I don't know what to do."
Wendy pursed her lips in thought, really not wanting to defend anyone, but her morals hadn't been downed by enough wine coolers to stop them from beating away her jealousy just yet. "Stan...Kyle would have never cheated on you."
"I know," he agreed pitiably.
She paused and cocked her head, "Then why are you so angry about him being friends with Ken?"
He looked back at her with those sad blue eyes that made her heart pump blindly in her chest. Those eyes always sent her reeling, they were one of the reasons that she found herself with him time and again. "Because...because Kyle was...well...mine," he admitted guiltily.
She frowned again, "He wasn't your property, Stanley."
"I know I know," he groaned, running fingers through his hair irritably. "But Ken is such a fucking smooth talking son of a bitch and Kyle-"
"Is way too smart to fall for that bullshit and you know it," she huffed.
He shrugged a bit, taking another sip of his drink. "Too smart, yeah but...but if he didn't feel something back, he probably wouldn't have been hanging out with him all the time. I know Ky way too well...he would've avoided the hell out of Kenny because he'd feel too awkward if he didn't feel something, ya know?" he winced.
Wendy stared at him and narrowed her gaze a bit, "How long have you known that Kenny wanted to be with him?"
He shrugged, "Few days."
She rolled her eyes, "You two have been pussyfooting around each other for months. This isn't about Kenny and Kyle. This is about something that you don't have the fucking balls to admit. You're trying to pass all the blame onto Kyle and you know that that's not right, Stan!"
He shied down a bit and gulped, suddenly finding his bottle very interesting to keep his focus on. "I don't know what I did wrong," he said softly.
"What did Kyle say in your fight, then? He doesn't hide stuff when he's yelling," she smirked a bit.
His shoulders sunk, "He...he said I didn't respect him. That I treated him like he was..." he paused.
"Expendable?" she finished softly.
He shot his head over at her with a bewildered look on his features. "How the fuck did you-"
"Because that's what you do, Stan," she bit. "You take your relationships for granted. Look," she let out a heavy sigh. "I love Kyle, and, believe it or not, I still love you, too. But you two...it's just never gonna work."
His eyes turned even darker in despair, "You don't think we can-"
"Not as a couple, no, I don't," she shook her head. "Stan, you tend to just let relationships run their course without putting out the effort to keep them going. Kyle needs someone who's willing to give as much as he is. Did you two have anything you feel weren't equal in?" she quirked a brow.
He blushed and cleared his throat, "He uh...he thinks that we weren't equal when we...well..."
"Had sex?" she guessed. She noted his soft nodding with a lengthy sigh. She took a long drink of her wine cooler and shook her head. "Stan, just based on how the two of you are, I'm going to assume that you're the one who wasn't willing to bend in that department."
"More literally than you know," he grumbled to himself.
"Kyle is too much of an...equal opportunity employer," she chuckled tepidly. "He's not going to be okay with being treated like he's less than whoever he's with. But...why is it that you wanted to break up?"
He looked at her indignantly, "How do you know I did?"
"Because the guilt is all over your face," she said gently. "I know your faces, Stan. And I can tell that something is eating you alive, and it's not just the events of today."
He looked at her in silence for a long while, letting the cold air blow into his burning alcohol-fueled cheeks. "Something...never felt right," he finally admitted. "Wends...I love Kyle. But...we just didn't click..." he bit his lip. "Not like we both wanted us to, ya know?"
She nodded softly, "Hon, that happens. You two have been each other's worlds for so long, but that doesn't necessarily mean you need to be everything in the world, ya know?"
He tilted his head up, looking at the crisp sky and feeling hazy tears trying to build in his burning eyes. "Now I feel like we ruined everything," he whispered. "I feel like we'll never go back to being friends again..."
She scoffed and rolled her eyes, "That's ridiculous. You two are going to be friends again. You're too close to just let that go."
"It's different now," he replied blankly. "It's one thing when you're just friends and get into a fight, when you're in a relationship it just escalates the fuck out of everything, ya know?"
She shook her head, "No, no I don't know. Stan, people fall into something deeper than friendship because there's something more there, but the foundation is always a strong connection. You and Kyle were closer than anyone I'd ever seen, even myself and Bebe," she admitted with a shrug. "You're both just way too stubborn to let go of what you had. But..." she bit her lip a bit, staring at him in thought.
He looked back at her and locked eyes, he quirked his brow a bit, "What?"
"Stan...you're going to have to be the one to save your friendship," she said softly.
He narrowed his gaze at her and the barest of growls could be heard escaping his throat, "Excuse me? Why shouldn't he? Because he's Miss Perfect?"
She raised her brow a bit, "So it's true, you have a habit of calling him a girl when you're upset with him, huh?"
He blushed a bit and cleared his throat, taking another drink. "W-who told you-"
"Clyde told Annie who told Bebe who told me," she answered, rolling her eyes a bit at the train of gossip that she never wanted to be a part of. She knew the whole damn thing was inevitable though, she knew she'd always be involved in Stan's life in the long run. Her acrylic nails clinked against her bottle and she sighed. "You know me, you know I don't consider being called a girl to be an insult...but to Kyle it is. Did he ever tell you that he didn't like that?"
He nodded slowly, "Yeah...but he lets Cartman call him 'Jew' all the time! I didn't think he'd take it so fucking seriously."
"That's because it's Cartman," she emphasized. "He doesn't give two shits about Fatty's opinion of him, but yours always meant the world to him, Stan! And if you kept calling him something after he told you he didn't feel comfortable with it well..." she trailed off a bit awkwardly and he straightened up.
"You think this whole thing is my fault," he said lowly.
"No, no I think you were both wrong on your own fronts but, Stan, did he ever insult you like that? I mean not how you two usually do, but in a way that hurt you?"
He blinked and looked out into the street, furrowing his brow in thought. "He let Kenny all over him if that fucking counts."
She rolled her eyes and groaned, "For fucks sake, Stan."
"What?!" he looked at her, tears starting to fall down his cheeks in droves. She recoiled a bit at the sight, a bit unnerved at the flow of emotion that was so very rare from the boy in front of her. "Fuck, Wends, how would you feel in that situation?! I knew something didn't feel right about us, and, I honestly think it was because I somehow knew that Kenny was ogling the fuck out of him with me standing right there! It would've been different if Kyle didn't know but he knew before we were even dating and he still was just fine and dandy with letting Kenny hug him and hang out with him all the goddamn time!" He finished off his beer and angrily threw it from the porch, both of them watching as it landed and shattered in the street. He looked at her, wiping the moisture from his face, "How would you feel?" he repeated.
She stared at him, shocked at his explosion. Her tongue felt held back, unwilling to be dealt with the same fate as that beer bottle should she say the wrong thing. But she knew better. Stan wasn't violent, he was just hurt. She took a deep breath, putting her hand gently on his shoulder. "I don't know," she said honestly. "But...I'll tell you this much: Kenny was rooting for the two of you. I had geography with him and Craig and sat behind them...I could hear him talking about the situation sometimes," she winced. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop but there's nothing better to do," she forced out a weak chuckle. Stan just stared at her expectantly and she continued, "I didn't know how Ken felt about Kyle, I swear I didn't, not until a few nights ago. But he and Craig would be talking about the two of you and...and fuck, Stan, he was happy that Kyle was happy with you. I'm sure it was killing him watching the two of you but he still wanted nothing more than to be a part of your wedding party if it got to that point," she raised her brow. "Don't forget, Kenny is friends with both of you. You know he never ever would have hurt you like that. He probably wouldn't have even told Kyle how he felt if you two had gotten together first."
Stan shifted his weight uncomfortably, shoving his hands into his pockets. His heart was still screaming with hurt and betrayal, his mind shouting at him that Kyle was in the wrong and he was just reacting as anyone would have. However, in the deepest corners of his subconscious, the barest whisper crept through the pain and the fury. One that said that Wendy was right. He knew both Kenny and Kyle well enough to know they wouldn't have been up to any funny business. Still, it didn't stop the rest of his psyche from trying to beat the shit out of that voice of reason. It was just too fresh. His drunken stupor could feel nothing but anguish as he stared at the girl in front of him.
"Wendy?" he started with a cracking voice. "Why...why didn't we work?"
She jerked back a bit, staring at her wine cooler with a face she could feel beginning to burn. "Because you did to me what you did to Kyle," she answered softly. "You took me for granted, just thought I'd always be there at your beck and call whenever you felt like it. You didn't take what I needed into account, Stan." She looked up, her heart falling as the guilt became more visible on his broken expression. She tightened her hand on his broad shoulder. "You have to be the one save the friendship," she repeated. "Kyle's done all he can for now...you have to be the one to make the next move."
He stared down at the cement below their feet in thought. "I don't want me and Ky to be a couple again, Wendy. I can't...I can't do it again with him, ya know?"
She paused before nodding softly, "No one said you have to. But you know that losing him completely would destroy you, and losing you would do the same for him. To be honest...I don't think he wants to be a couple with you anymore either."
"Yeah, he'd rather have Kenny," he spat enviously.
"And what if he does?" she challenged, starting to feel a burst of anger rising in her gut, more than tired of his infatuation with that whole situation, as understandable as it was. He looked up at her in shock and she pressed on, "Stan, you don't get to control who is with who. What if they do get together? What are you gonna do? Beat Kenny up? Yell at Kyle until your face turns blue?"
He ran his fingers through his thick, black locks and shrugged. "I don't know what I'd do."
"What if they'd gotten together before you and Kyle? How would you've reacted then?" she asked, finishing off her own bottle and setting it on the porch railing. She crossed her arms and jutted out her hip slightly as she waited.
A few long, quiet moments passed, only the dulled thudding of music breaking through the house surrounding the two of them. "I...I would've been like Kenny I guess," he sighed tiredly. "I woulda been...rooting for them but...it's different now. I had him first."
Her face lightened a bit with the admittance. "Hon, it doesn't matter who had him first. What matters is who keeps a hold of him. And you're just not going to be the one who does that. It's hard now, and it might be for a long time...but you two are gonna get through it and go back to be the most annoyingly close and sappy friends on the face of the planet. I promise."
He looked back up at her and the faintest twinge of a smile flashed on his lips. "Why're you bein' so helpful, Wends? I thought you hated me for what I did."
She sighed and shook her head, laughing softly. "I'm definitely not fond of how the whole situation with the both of us went down, I won't lie. But if you and I went on and off for a decade and can still talk civilly like this, I think that's a good indicator of you and Kyle down the road, hm?"
He smiled more and nodded, turning and leaning back on the porch railing. Wendy moved her bottle aside and joined him, both of them staring back at the sky. "You didn't tell me why you're helping though," he broke the quiet.
She shrugged, "I hate seeing you upset to be honest. I'm the only one allowed to make your life a living hell," she teased, elbowing him a bit.
He snorted, pushing her back. "Yeah you wish you had that power over me, Testaburger."
"I do more than you know, Marsh," she stuck her tongue out at him. He chuckled and rolled his eyes at her before sighing.
"Look, obviously this is way too late down the road but, sorry I didn't make you feel appreciated," he blushed and shrugged a bit. "It's not that I don't appreciate when I'm with someone, I just-"
"Don't know how to show it," she finished with a small smile. "I know. That's why I kept taking you back," she scoffed. "I would think 'oh, he's figured it out this time!' Then the next thing I knew we were having that same fucking fight over and over again," she groaned.
"God I think we coulda just pre-printed a script for those fights," he sniggered. "Pretty sure every time we only added maybe one or two new things."
She nodded and chuckled, "Yeah, but we're still friends, aren't we?"
He looked at her and smiled gently in that way that sent chills cascading down her spine. "I always hoped so, regardless of what I was obligated to call you in front of the other guys."
She waved away the notion dismissively, "Probably nothing compared to what us girls had to say about you and your small penis-I mean rude personality," she winked.
"Aw aw awww, come on!" he looked at her with faux anger. "Now no one, chick or dick is gonna wanna get with me You ruined me!"
"Nah. With the way you were just emoting any girl falls hard and fast for that sappy pussy bullshit. And you play sports so all the guys know that you know your way around your balls," she smirked.
They stared at each other before bursting out laughing, putting their heated faces down on the cooled wood beneath their arms and shaking their heads. "Gee, thanks," Stan finally snorted out, wiping a tear from his eye. "Jesus Christ, you bitch," he grinned.
"You pussy," she shot back amusedly. They stared at each other with smiles still over their faces as the music continued to unknowingly blare away behind them. The night seemed to settle over just the two of them as they looked at each other, blue eyes locked in gray. Their alcohol warmed them over, their mutual exhaustion of each other all but gone in their moment of just the two of them once again. How long they stared at each other, neither of them had the slightest clue. Everything just seemed to stop around them, and they held onto that moment as long as they could.
It happened way too quickly, neither of them quite able to begin to comprehend as Stan's face flew towards Wendy's, the both of them clawing and grinding against one another in the chilled air, their body heat flying off of them and dissipating into the night. They didn't know how it happened or how long they stood there, tongues clashing and hands exploring the old, familiar contours of each other. Their breath hot and heavy against each other, messy swipes of tongues across lips and teeth. Biting and groping and falling into each other in comfort as they had so many times in the past. Nothing else even began to cross their mind as the two of them, still locked in each other's touch and lips, started the short walk down to Stan's house.
A/N: Stan you dick.
Is it bad that even I don't know who to root for in this fucking fight? Like, fuck man idek Stan and Ky are both such assholes about the whole thing. Aw well.
Thanks for R&Ring!