I LIVE!

Hey all! It is I, the majestic Introvertasaurus who can't remember how to spell her own name right!

***PLEASE READ***

Soooo, the inspiration ran out and the holidays hit.

Sorry for the long delay... again. The holidays have been extremely busy, for you as well I imagine. I just wanted to post this because I promised to post something soon and didn't want to stretch it out even longer.

I have more written, quite a bit more, but I have been having troublefinding time to complete it. Sorry that this chapter is not as humorous as the previous ones, but I plan to fix that in the future chapters. This chapter might possibly be revised when I post the next chapter so be sure to read the author notes when I post the next chapter before you read it so you don't miss anything. So, again sorry if this chapter doesn't match up humor wise to it's previous chapters.

I will be posting the next chapter as soon as I can!

I have also changed the name of these parts because I named the previous chapter in a rush and now don't know how to weave that into the story. :/

Anywho, ON WITH THE STORY!

The villain in all his sparkly, tight leather glory keeps himself balanced by holding me uncomfortably close and at gunpoint while I try to think of a way out of the situation.

Since we got here, seeing the guards in their bizarre uniforms and the villain suited up in skin tight leather, I had thought our situation was comical and was actually excited to be a part of it. Everything seemed to be like out of a comic book, but now, with a gun pressed against me and my friends in similar positions… I think… I may be beginning to have second though-nope. Sorry. Never mind. False alarm. It was just one too many corn fritters settling with me weirdly; which I still don't know why they fed to us in the first place. Along with cold Chinese takeout. I mean seriously, why that combination?

Maybe it is part of their custom to present small blob shaped corn cakes and foreigner cuisine to their captives before their certain doom? Or that could have been the only thing left in the freezer and they didn't want to seem unhospitable towards their victims by not offering us anything? Or maybe Frank's wife had made a surplus of the leftovers and told him to give them to his friends at work and Frank, not having the heart to tell her that he didn't have friends at work, brought them and decided to give them to us?

With the questions still heavy on my mind, I glance to my friends to assess the situation. Bucky, the closest to me, is glaring loathingly at the villain while being pushed to his knees and held down by several armed guards. His eyes, never leaving the villain, seem pitch black and I have never seen him angrier as he watches the man with such a cold expression that I can safely say that I officially know why they called him the Winter Soldier, other than for of his recent affinity for java chip Frappuccino's.

It's so different from the suave flirt I know that I blinked in surprise. From what information I have been able to obtain (while internet stalking… slightly), he could easily take down all the guards in this room even while restrained and not even break a sweat, but I guess he doesn't want to risk it with so many other hostages.

I tear my gaze from the Winter Soldier to Donny to see him clutching Bloopy's slightly-peanut-butter-smeared jar and looking like he is ready to put his extensive knowledge of prison shanks to good use while eyeing a half empty chocolate pudding cup on a table nearby. Two guards train their weapons on him and I can see his knuckles go white around the jar as he glares seethingly at my restrainer.

Finally I look to Clint, who apparently hasn't come around as much as I thought he had, as he tries to make himself appear bigger by doing his best impression of an angered pigeon while cooing and throwing birdseed from his seemingly endless supply at the guards who are trapping him in a corner.

I sigh at my comrades. Since they can't do anything as of the moment, I am left with the option of trying to stall for time. Looking finally to the villain, I ask, "So what's your name anyway? I mean, this is kind of a bonding moment for us; you holding me and my friends at gunpoint, threatening our lives. It's a fragile moment. Really a turning point in our relationship, wouldn't you say…"

I prompted for his name and he rolls his eyes and states, "Floyd. My name is Floyd."

"So Floyd… is that a family name or did your mom really hate-" He glares at me and shoves the gun a little more into my ribs. From the corner of my eye I see Bucky and Donny tense even more and decide to change topics before anyone does something rash. I put my hands up in a placating manner and glance at my friends, mostly to calm them down than Floyd. I tell the villain, "Okay, sorry, sore subject. Floyd's a good name; a strong name for a strong leader. You are not going to have super villain copyright issues with that name. So here's the deal: we don't want you to kill or maim us and you don't want to waste time on trivial matters, yeah? So… Floyd…" I stretch the sounds in his name and end with a solid 'duh.' Taking a deep breath here, I look him dead in the eyes, and deadpan, "Tell us what you want. What you really, really want."

He lessens his glare some and leans in a little closer, has the guy never heard of a personal bubble? I mean really-and is that a cheerio stuck in his-Yep that is a cherrio stuck in his sideburn. Right in there. How… How does he not feel that thing? He tries really hard to sound menacing, I have to give him credit for that, but it's really hard to be intimidated when all I can think about is that cheerio and how bad his breath smells. I mean has he never heard of Trident gum? Or TicTacs? Icebreakers? "I'll tell you what I want. What I really, really want," It's like goldfish crackers. Really, really off putting goldfish crackers. Like cheddar flavored Bloopy . I lean as far away as possible with a deep frown as he says, "I want a-"

"Hic."

"I want a-"

"Hic."

"I WANT WHOEVER IS HICCUPING TO STOP RIGHT NOW OR I WILL COVER THEM IN HONEY AND TIE THEM NAKED TO AN ANTBED," He turns his gun towards where the sound was coming from.

"Sorry boss," Frank says, awkwardly shuffling on the sidelines. "I've just been getting the hiccups a lot lately since we got back from America."

"Jet lag," Donny tells him, "Does Reyna the same way."

"Does *hic* not!" I retort, glaring at him when I'm proven wrong.

"SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!" Floyd stomps his foot, nearly breaking a heel, while screeching right into my ear. Ouch. Can he not? I mean that's just rude. Poor Fran-NO! Not 'poor Frank'! He's the one who got us into this mess! Poor us! Poor me! I'm the one pressed into and being held at gunpoint by a guy with poor who smells like mutated snack food! And if he or someone else does not do something about that sideburn cheerio soon I am going to have to take matters into my own hands.

"Hic," He turns to glare at me now, gun aimed at my head.

Quickly I put my hands up in surrender, and, feigning defeat, say, "Alright! Alright! We'll*hic*give you what you want!"

He seems caught off guard for a moment, "You will-? I mean of course you will!"

"Yes you... Have defeated us," I say monotonously, spitting out the words. "The fish is yours… Take it."

He smirks in triumph, "Yes I shall take the fi-" freezing he frowns and bellows, "What do you mean fish?! I am going to take the asset and archer not some useless, slimy... Thing."

I wipe off the last word he said from my face. Say it, don't spray it, Gene Simmons. Though I do agree that 'Thing' is an appropriate term. Suddenly I can feel the cold stare of Bloopy. I shiver. Creepy, creepy fish. Shaking off the weird fish vibe, I shrug and tell Floyd, "Your loss."

"I can live with that," He says flippantly waving the gun in the air with a shrug.

"You say that now Floyd, you say that now. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity though, so don't come crying to me when you are in need of a weapon powerful enough to persuade an entire nation and don't have one."

Persuade them to cringe mayb-and again with the feeling of bloodlust seeping from the fish behind me! It's not my fault you have a face only a Donny could love! I can see that what I said is beginning to bother him after a moment because the next thing he asks is, "Why is it my loss? What weapon? It looks like just a fish."

I start laughing in his face at that, but before Floyd gets too angry, I let up and wipe a tear from my eye from laughing so hard and say, "Just a fish? Just a fish?! You must really be touched in the head or something. Did you not feel the way the air dropped in temperature when this-this specimen was escorted through the door by armed guards?!"

"Actually we were escorting y-" Frank starts, but I talk over him.

"Or the feeling that your mind is being probed of all its dirty secrets at a mere glance from those cold, unseeing eyes?! Even your guards know this is not 'just a fish!' They have their guns trained on its crunchy lair right now-and for good reason!" I motion to the men surrounding Donny and Bloopy. The guards straighten up at the attention, directing their guns more towards the fish. Donny smiles sheepishly and waves as best as he could with his hands cuffed together and holding the jar. "Look how it swims upside down without a care in the world all the while looking like something that fell off the bottom of a shoe!" The glare intensifies. Sorry Bloopy, but it had to be said. Also if you have mind reading powers like I always knew you did: this is all being said so that the one who calls you his Bloopy-Woopy and feeds you and cleans your tank and loves you will be safe.

Pleasedon'tkillmewithyourlasereyes.

"Can 'just a fish' do that? I don't think so! This fish is the key to all that is locked! It is the eighth wonder of the scientific world! To pass up such an opportunity to study and use this creature would be an enormous waste. But if you just want to let the opportunity pass, then..." I sigh deeply again, "Your loss."

"Enough with the excessive babbling! I know what you are doing! You are trying to stall so that your Avenger friends will come save you, but that will never happen!" He laughs maniacally here and throws me towards my friends. Bucky grabs me to stop me from falling. "By the time the Avengers arrive, it will be too late for them to stop us."

Here he takes a pause from his typical villain speech to laugh maniacally, all the while trying to hold his balance on top of his stilettos. Seriously, has no one told him about wedges?

Suddenly he becomes serious and barks an order at Frank, "Lock them back in the cell. And have the chair prepared and ready for testing. Maybe the civilians can actually be of use to us after all."

I feel Bucky stiffen behind me and Floyds turns to him saying, "Why yes, Soldier, I do believe you are quite familiar with the chair; we dug it up when we found this base. It was a backup in case SHIELD ever chopped off one of our heads so to speak. Take them away!"

Thank you for reading! Please review if you feel so kind! I seriously enjoy reading you guy's comments and need suggestions to fuel my creativity. So if you think of something funny or cool or whatever and want to share PLEASE BY ALL MEANS DO! You brighten my sometimes crumby day. :)

Merry Christmas! And because I missed it, Happy Thanks Giving and Happy Hanukkah! Feliz Navidad! Finally, if I miss it as well, Happy Freaking New Year! I love all of you!