A/N: Thank you all again for all your reviews! I love every single one of them and I am filled with pride that so many of you are still enjoying my story. You guys rule! As usual, I will be offering a Mass Effect/Dragon Age one-shot of their choice to my 100th reviewer. M-rating is appropriate for this chapter, as Jack has a dirty mouth(and Shepard, a little bit).

Disclaimer: ME'verse belongs to Bioware.

A Path Rewritten

Chapter Nine

"Is that him?" Kasumi asked, appreciation evident in her tone.

"Yeah, that's Kaidan." She acknowledged as she bit the inside of her cheek to keep herself from adding something snarky; that was the thing about the green eyed monster, made you say and do stupid things, in response to such little provocations. She wasn't going to be jealous that Kasumi was checking out Kaidan, damn it.

"Well what are you waiting for Shep? Go get him." The thief urged her, nudging her shoulder with her own.

"The Staff-Commander look anxious," Thane added, his voice ever-cool. The drell hadn't been on her crew long, but already she felt a connection with the assassin; it wasn't pity, as one would assume of her given that the drell was dying, rather an almost natural kinship.

"Hell, I'm anxious myself." Shepard rubbed the back of her neck. "I really want this but..."

"You worry that he will regret his decision to aid you," Thane finished for her. She nodded, lips pressed together in said anxiety. "From what you have told me of him, I believe him to be honorable. He would not offer his aid if he wasn't intent upon giving it to you."

"I want you two to continue your torrid romance," Kasumi sighed almost wistfully. "Real life is always so much better than my books. Mmhmm. Especially if it is anything like what you've told me."

"We're professional. Friends, only. What happened between us is in the past." Shepard grit the words out. This felt like the thousandth time she'd said those words since it had leaked out that Kaidan had offered to join the crew. Not that she believed them. Especially now, watching as Kaidan readjusted the strap of his bag on his shoulder, glancing around for her in the sea of humans and aliens alike. Who was she kidding? Of course she still loved him; the few weeks they had been able to spend together after Ilos, after Sovereign, had been the happiest of her life. She had been in love with him the day she had died, and not telling him had been one of her biggest regrets.

Regret or not, she couldn't tell him now. Things were different. The way things were between them was different. Once, they had been hand in hand, but now a chasm had grown between them, one she had no idea how to close. But this was a start, and it was all they had.

"Riiight," Kasumi replied, obviously skeptical.

"How the Commander feels should be her concern alone." Thane's tone implied reproach, but Kasumi only scoffed and waved it off. He frowned, but Shepard gave him a small smile and a nod, assuring him that it was alright. He nodded in return and she turned her gaze back to where Kaidan waited for her.

Anxious or not, she had kept him waiting long enough. "Wait here."

"Hey."

Kaidan's heart leaped at the sound of her voice. He swallowed and turned to face her, a smile crossing his lips at the mere sight of her. She shuffled from one foot to the other, hands stuffed in the back pockets of the fatigues she'd chosen to wear. "Hey yourself," he replied.

She grinned and nodded toward his shoulder where his bag was strapped. "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," he replied, though he made no move toward her.

Her grin faded and she shuffled her stance again, her gaze dropping for a moment to her feet; he hadn't seen her show such a display of anxiety since she had first introduced herself to him all those years ago when she had first come aboard the Normandy. Shepard was usually so cock-sure and confident, it was a surprise – even now – to see her display anything else.

"You sure about this, Kaidan?" She finally voiced her worry, raising her eyes back to his face.

He readjusted the strap of his bag, shuffling his own feet. "This isn't the place for this kind of conversation, Shepard, but to be perfectly honest – I may not be completely sure about this."

"Kaidan - "

"But," he held up his free hand to let her know he wasn't finished, "I've gone about this the right way. I haven't turned my back on the Alliance. They've given me leave to help you. And I will. So," he grinned, "you should probably just get me on board and stop trying to get me to change my mind."

"As you say, Alenko." She nodded and inclined her head to gesture behind her. "Kasumi and Thane are waiting for us. Come on."

This was exactly what she didn't need. "Fuck," she spat the word in distaste. "I'm going to kill that goddamned bastard myself!" It had felt better than great having Kaidan with her again on a mission, but fuck this. This was not going to make anything easier; it was going to complicate things. Of course she knew Cerberus couldn't be trusted, but because of this, she knew that tenuous bit of trust Kaidan had in her was going to be put to the test. A part of her, the part that had been hurt by his words on Horizon, knew that he could very well turn his back on her again.

"Not if I don't do it first! Fuckers!" Jack snarled.

"I'm not going to say I told you so," Kaidan muttered, "but first thing's first – we have to get off this ship!"

"No shit Sherlock."

"Jack, that's enough. Kaidan's right." Shepard sighed and reloaded her rifle with a new thermal clip. "Goddamned Collectors. No, wait, I guess that's not right. Damned Protheans." She grunted and jumped down from where they'd taken their stance on the platform, happy to finally be off those damned moving targets. "EDI, what the hell is going on?"

"We've established this was a trap - "

"Yes, I am well aware of that EDI!" Shepard snapped impatiently. "And don't think I'm about to let the Illusive Man get away with sending us right into it. Get us the hell out of here!"

"Commander, I hate to interrupt but the ship is powering up their weapons!" Joker's frantic alert came through the comm. "You better get the hell out of there, I'm not about to lose another Normandy to these bastards."

"Got'cha Joker, working on it!" She signaled for Kaidan and Jack to follow and she moved down the ramp into room; their presence was no longer a secret and it was a hellish battle that they were forced to fight if they wanted to get out of there alive. Shepard had never felt so livid than in the midst of these battles, taking down Collectors and husks as they ran; the bastard had sent her and her team into a goddamned trap! And now, now, it was personal – more so given the fact that good old Timmy had willingly not only put her life on the line, but Kaidan's. After getting him back – in whatever little way she could – his life was already being put to risk; she knew they were soldiers, that risk came with every mission, but this was different. He'd known it was a trap.

Her eyes were trained on Kaidan nearly the entire time, if only to reassure herself that he wasn't going to come to harm as they made their escape.

There! She waved them forward, turning her back to them, firing upon the husks that were frantically chasing after them.

"Fuck! Shepard! Come on!" Jack snarled, knocking a few of the husks off the ledge with a biotic throw.

"Go!" Shepard yelled, slamming in a new thermal clip.

"I'm not leaving without you, Shepard!" Kaidan yelled back. "Not again!"

"I'm coming! Just go!" She turned and shoved him in the chest; he looked like he might fight her, but he pressed his lips together thinly and nodded. He ran for the shuttle, dragging Jack by her arm though she cursed him every step of the way. Shepard kept firing, inching her way backward toward the shuttle, leveling husk after husk; where were they all coming from?

"We're in! Run Shepard!"

She didn't need him to tell her twice, she turned and full on bolted for the shuttle as it began to lift off, moving just slightly away from the ledge. She took a deep breath and leaped the gap for all that she was worth, landing awkwardly in the shuttle to where she stumbled and fell against Kaidan, his arms wrapping around her on reflex. The shuttle returned to the Normandy and reluctantly she pulled herself from Kaidan to run to the lift, taking it to the CIC and running to the cockpit.

"Get us out here Joker!"

"I'm working on it!" Joker snapped back, his hands flying across his controls. "EDI! Get us out of here!"

"You must specify a location, Jeff." The ship lurched as Joker steered it roughly away from the Collector's firing beam. They weren't going to make it, Shepard thought desperately for a moment as Kaidan ran up to stand behind her, his hand on her shoulder.

"Anywhere! I don't care! Just get us out of here!"

Shepard was still pissed off when she retreated to her cabin. She'd spoken to the Illusive Man and discussed with her team about the information EDI had gathered from her link with the Collector's ship. The Illusive Man had opted to give her the excuse that it had been a necessary risk, because they needed information about how to safely navigate the Omega-4 relay; she knew that was true, but that didn't mean she still wasn't pissed at him. She'd made her objections clear, that if he ever put her or her squad in danger like that again, she would track him down and kill him herself.

She sat in the chair at her desk, her head in her hands as she thought about everything she'd just learned from EDI; the Collector home world was in the fucking center of the universe. There was no longer any doubt that this mission was most likely going to be a one-way trip – a suicide mission for the greater good.

Her fingers curled into her palm tightly, nails biting into her skin and drawing blood. With a cry, she brought up her fist and slammed it down onto her desk as hard as she could; it spider-web cracked just a bit, but stayed in tact, much to Shepard's surprise. Her chest heaved as she tried to reign in her emotions; a commander had to stay cool under pressure, she had to be strong for her crew. She had known this wasn't going to be easy, but to have that knowledge right before her eyes – that they wouldn't be coming back – was not something she wanted. Not really.

"Fuck," she spat the word and folded her hands in her lap, despite the stinging and aching of the one she'd punched her desk with. They didn't stay that way long. Soon they were sliding through her hair.

She should have left Kaidan on the Citadel. Now he could very well be walking into a suicide mission with her, dying to help her when he could be safe elsewhere.

Kaidan. He'd looked hurt when she had shrugged off his hand after the meeting and stormed to the lift without so much more than a "not right now, Alenko".

She didn't want to face him, not right now. Not when she knew he would be reaming into her about what had just transpired. More I told you so's about Cerberus. She couldn't handle that right now.

"Commander."

Her lips parted with a soft sigh. "Yes EDI?"

"Staff-Commander Alenko is requesting entrance into your quarters."

Shepard sighed, much louder this time, and rubbed her hands over her face. She pushed herself up from her chair and walked to the doors, opening them to see Kaidan standing there. "Something you need Kaidan?" She asked, trying to keep her irritation out of her voice; he wasn't deserving of her anger.

"Shepard - " He frowned and shuffled his stance. "I wanted to make sure you are alright."

She scoffed. "Really? No "I told you not to trust Cerberus" or "I want off this damn Cerberus ship now"?"

He rubbed a hand over his face. "Listen, Shepard, I know you're pissed. Hell, I am too. But I am not here to argue with you."

"Oh yeah?"

She grabbed the front of his shirt and yanked him to her, her free hand sliding up into his hair to yank down his head so that their lips slammed together. He stiffened, almost tried to move away, but after a strangled groan, he wrapped his arms around her and yanked her flush against his hot body. Shepard couldn't help but moan; he took the opportunity to slide his tongue past her parted lips, delving hotly into her mouth to tease and taunt her own.

This probably wasn't a good idea, but right now she really didn't give a damn.