Disclaimer: I arrange the words, but own nothing.

Warning: I'm not known for finishing what I start. Is that a chance you're willing to take?

The Difference Between

Chapter Ten: A Kiss

She's ignoring him again.

If there's one thing Nicky Russo is not it's stupid. Kaylie doesn't come in early anymore and Nicky's stopped lying out on the sidewalk, staring up at the sky, waiting for her to show up so they can start their early morning practice. The only time she stops by the water cooler is to drink water and she usually practices through her breaks so she can leave earlier. Kaylie isn't replying to any of Nicky's texts and he hates himself for the sleep he loses, anxiously watching his phone, hoping she'll finally call or text or even e-mail, asking him to meet her at the red rocket ship again. No such lucky.

Well, Nicky has had enough of these stupid mind games and he's ready to tell her. He spots Kaylie from across the gym, headed for the girls' locker room at the end of the day. He nearly sprints to catch up with her and when he finally does, Nicky takes her firmly by the elbow and leads her over to a quiet corner. Kaylie looks startled for a moment and oddly the expression only intensifies when she sees that the person who pulled her aside is none other than Nicky.

"Hi," she says almost inaudibly.

"So we're talking," Nicky observes.

Kaylie blinks. "Why wouldn't we be talking?"

Nicky's lips part like he's going to say something, but then he scrutinizes her face and he can just tell that something's off. Why does Kaylie look so guilty?

"Nicky, I need to—"

"What would you say about a swim?" he interrupts. If she can be nonchalant about this then fine, two can play at that game. "The weather has been gross lately. Plus, I can't even remember the last time anyone used the pool. Well, I have a feeling the maids do when no one's home…"

"I can't, Nicky," Kaylie says firmly. "I have somewhere to be."

"See, that's what I'm talking about," Nicky says. "What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?" she asks in return.

"What happened to not answering a question with a question? Don't play stupid, Kaylie," Nicky says. He absolutely fails at hiding his frustration. He looks away for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts. "Come on, we both know you've been purposefully avoiding me for almost a week now."

"Nicky, it's not about you," she says weakly.

"You could try and be a bit more convincing," he replies. Kaylie looks away, keeping her eyes across the room. His smirk slowly fades as he watches Kaylie stand there, mumbling something incoherent about going to the locker room. Nicky tilts his head that's filling with confusion with every second this conversation goes on. "Kaylie, I was joking."

"Funny," she mumbles dully, tiredly. She pulls away and tries to walk off.

Nicky tries to follow her, but then she disappears beyond the door to the girls' locker room. Sighing in defeat, he walks back over to the middle of the nearly empty gym. Nicky stares up at the ceiling for a moment, wondering what he could have possibly done to make her react this way. It still scares Nicky at the realization that Kaylie Cruz is the sole person who makes him care.

It's hard to pinpoint the exact time and day he realized he cares more about Kaylie Cruz more than he should. He supposes it's been slowly building from the start of this "friendship." Once the hatred faded and the butterflies invaded, Nicky knew it was a bad idea to get close, but he did anyways and he can't think of a time in his life where he's been this close to happy. That chat with Lauren Tanner the other night set the last little piece into the bigger picture. Nicky likes Kaylie Cruz. Damn it.

Nicky debates whether he should just go change out of his sweaty workout clothes, but then panics at the idea of missing her just as she leaves the locker room and drives home for the day. Then he'd have to spend hours thinking of some reason to text her and some other reason to see her. Nicky scowls, lying across the mat in the middle of the gym. He isn't supposed to be like this. He isn't supposed to be infatuated with some spoiled, damaged princess.

"Jeez, I'm turning into Carter…"

"Nothing a little haircut can't fix," a voice teases from behind.

Nicky reopens his eyes and sees Leo standing over him with arms crossed over his chest and a wide grin riding his lips. There are so many traits he shares with his little sister. There's the caramel skin and the jet black hair, but most importantly, the kind brown eyes. With a groan, Leo collapses beside Nicky on the mat and runs a hand through his hair.

"Rough day?" he asks, making small talk.

Nicky shrugs casually. "What day isn't?"

"Point taken. I'm Leo, if you didn't even know, Kaylie's brother. You're Nicky Russo, right?" Leo asks. There's a hint of mischief in his smile and Nicky can't help, but let it make him feel a tad bit on edge. "Flower Boy."

Nicky wrinkles his nose. "Flower Boy? What's that supposed to mean?"

"She still has that tulip on her desk," Leo says. Nicky mentally wills himself not to react (blush). "It's all wilted and the pedals are barely hanging on, but Kaylie refuses to throw it out."

"Is she okay?" Nicky asks softly, genuinely. "It isn't any of my business, but Kaylie's told me a little about what's going on with your family. It must be tough."

"No shit." Leo sighs and shrugs. "To be honest, sometimes I can't even tell how Kaylie is and we're living under the same roof. Right when I think she might be okay, Kaylie pulls a 180 and everything goes to hell again. Seriously, I'm sure a lot of my psych major friends would diagnose that as Bipolar."

"She's strong though," Nicky says. "She might not think so, but she is."

"Indeed." Leo nods. "A lot of that has to do with you, y'know?"

Nicky shakes his head. "No. I don't think so."

"She talks about you sometimes," Leo says. Nicky feels there's something in his voice, a hint, an implication he just can't exactly pinpoint. Leo goes on to say, "Seriously, with all this family crap and gymnastics stress, do you think Lauren or Carter or anyone else could have helped her through all this?"

Nicky doesn't reply. It's mostly because he's at a loss. What is he expected to say, following that?

"So you like her, huh?" Leo smirks. His shoulders are loose and his legs are stretched out, palms pressed into the mat, letting him lean back ever so slightly. In direct contrast, Nicky's spine is ramrod straight and every single muscle in his body tense.

Nicky swallows hard. "She's one of my few friends, yeah, I like her."

Leo chuckles. "Kids."

Nicky narrows his eyes. "You aren't much older than me..."

"Sure, but while you're in here training, I've been out there living. One day you're going to wake up alone. Gymnastics will be nothing, but a happy memory and you'll be wondering why you didn't take that one chance you had with the one girl that made you real," Leo says. Nicky's looking at him with knitted eyebrows and Leo only chuckles and scrubs his hand over his tired face. "I tell you, it's a shitty feeling."

"You swear so much," Nicky says, just an observation. "Kaylie too. Is it a Cruz thing? Leo chuckles. His demeanor is so easygoing, but his gaze is so intrusive. "You know, when I was twelve and you took gold at Nationals that year I almost idolized you."

Leo grins proudly. "That was a good year, wasn't it?"

"Sure, but then I turned thirteen and you dropped out and I told myself I'd never wimp out like you," Nicky continues. Leo's face drops and Nicky realizes what he just said, regrets it and clears his throat, adding a, "no offense or anything."

"I'll admit I don't agree with your word choice, but fair enough." Leo nods. "Just so you know, there is a life after gymnastics. It probably doesn't seem like it right now, but one day everything will make sense. It won't be all about beams and rings anymore."

"Then what will it be about?" Nicky asks, genuinely curious.

"I'm still trying to figure that out myself, Russo." Leo gets distracted, his eyes across the room, entranced almost. Nicky's about to follow his gaze when he feels Leo's large hand pat him hard on the shoulder and that grin makes its grand return. "Is that Emily Kmetko I see? You'd excuse me, right, bud?"

"Sure," Nicky chuckles. He feels the need to warn Leo about the emergency plan Sasha always has in the back of his head, something that involves boiling a guy alive if the poor sucker so dares to flirt with one of his gymnasts and is stupid enough to get caught. Instead, Nicky just shakes his head and laughs again.

When he sees Kaylie rush out from the girls' locker room, wearing a black pea coat and toting around her gym bag, Nicky reacts like lightning. He yells her name and he swears it echoes in the gym, but she doesn't even toss him a glance. Now Nicky knows she's definitely avoiding him and just the thought doesn't sit well with him. He stands quickly and chases after her, giving little thought to anything besides Kaylie Cruz. Really, it's become the story of his life.

"Kaylie, wait up! I just want to talk to you!"

"Nicky, can we do this later? I'm already late as is."

"No, I don't think so."

Kaylie finally turns to look at him after she's gotten the key in the lock on the door of her car. She pauses and then finally gives in. The streetlamp above them is broken so the parking lot is darker than usual. Despite the lack of lighting, Kaylie can still see how Nicky's eyes are shimmering, looking lost and confused, his brows are furrowed and his lip is slightly protruding. Kaylie can't tell if he's unconsciously making her feel horrible or doing it on purpose.

"What do you need, Nicky?"

"I just want to talk," Nicky says, nervously moving his feet around in the gravel beneath his shoes.

"So talk," she says, harsher than she means.

Before he can even think of a way to begin, Nicky finds it odd how they've been in these same positions prior to tonight. He thinks back to Valentine's Day after Payson rejected his chocolate along with his heart and Carter had desperately laid out rose petals in the shape of a heart on her hood. They had stood there with hearts racing, butterflies fluttering and both knew the outcome before either spoke a word. They'd agree not to cross any lines and part ways.

Nicky thinks about how much things have changed since that night. He thinks of how close they've grown without meaning to. It all started out with hatred and developed into something neither of them has ever had before. Now they're drowning in this shade of gray, tempted to completely cross the line that separates them and explore the difference between friends and something more.

Kaylie looks impatient and Nicky doesn't know what to say, but he's certain if he lets her go right now he'll probably spend the rest of the night (and maybe his life) ruminating and rumination leaves little room for gymnastics.

"I'm worried about you," he finally says.

"I'm fine," Kaylie assures him. "Better than ever, even."

"Don't lie to me, Kaylie," Nicky warns her.

"I'm not. Nicky, really, you should go back inside and—"

"You know, I've eaten dinner with my father twice this week, which is more than we've eaten together in probably the last year," Nicky tells her. That's when Kaylie stops. He lets his hand fall heavily on her shoulder and outlines her arm until his hand finds hers and his fingers curl into her palm.

Kaylie looks alarmed as she asks, "Wh—what are you doing?"

"I just want to say thank you," Nicky says quietly. Vocal displays of gratitude goes along with admissions of fault, confessions of longing and embarrassing apologizes in the box of things Nicky Russo sucks at, but Kaylie Cruz somehow brings him to do. "Dad might have mentioned running into you at the hospital. He didn't say what you talked about, but it must have been some second impression if he remembered your name and goes out of his way to actually try to be a parent."

"I didn't do anything, Nicky."

"You brought my dad back, Kaylie."

"We talked for like five seconds. I—I just ran into him while visiting Payson," she says.

Nicky inwardly winces. He makes no sound, but the sting flashes across his face before he can catch himself. His visits with Payson become just as infrequent as him spending quality time with Kaylie. Every time he goes to the hospital the space between them is filled with small talk and awkward pauses. It's almost like Payson has put up a shield of ice and all Nicky gets is the bitter cold waves reverberating off of her. He hasn't connected the two girls' odd behavior until right now.

"Kaylie, what happened?"

She shrugs. "It's been a while, Nicky, I don't remember every word I said to your dad—"

"No. With Payson," Nicky clarifies. "Something happened, didn't it?"

"It just put things into perspective," Kaylie says carelessly.

"Alright. Put things into perspective for me."

Kaylie takes a moment, her tongue swiping out over her lips. Finally, she takes a breath and explains, "I'm the National Champion and I haven't been acting like it at all. I need to concentrate and as fun as it's been hanging out and whatever, if I even want a chance at impressing the National Committee, especially after my last public tantrum, I need to buckle down and get serious."

"And you're going to do that by turning into a cyborg?" Nicky asks. Kaylie looks up in irritation and starts to turn back to the door of her car, but Nicky gently pulls her back to face him. "Wait, alright? Okay. I get it. We'll train even harder now. I'm down if you are."

"Nicky, that's not it."

"Then what is it?" he asks, his voice rising. "God, you're driving me crazy."

"I just need a little space, okay?" Kaylie says, trying to stay cool and collected. Her eyes leave his in favor of the ground. She can't bring herself to look him in the eye. She just can't. "Alright. You want to know the truth? I, um, Carter's waiting. I promised him we'd have dinner and I still need to run home before I meet him."

Nicky's eyes seem to darken and he backs away from her, almost looking sickened.

"Nicky…" His name leaves her lips, riding on a whisper. "Let's not…make this a big thing…"

He nods. His anger is building within him and if it wasn't apparent before it's obvious now. "So you're just going to run back to him, huh?"

"Another change in perspective, I guess," she says, trying so painfully hard to keep her voice even. "Nicky, you have to understand. There's nothing I want more than for my dad to come home, to give my mom a chance and at least hear her out. It's been killing me, seeing her fall apart like this, letting her regrets eat her alive and I still think what she did was wrong, but I think she's suffered enough too. After what happened with Lauren, I didn't give Carter that chance."

"And that's the truth?" Nicky asks. Kaylie nods weakly. "The whole truth?"

"The bulk of it." Kaylie swallows hard.

"I want all of it. Then interrogation over. You can leave," Nicky says solemnly. "Why else?"

There's this tender, almost shattering look in her eyes as Kaylie slips a little, leaning forward and taking his hand in hers. Nicky shakes his head and draws further away, but Kaylie only holds on tighter. Her thumb runs across his calloused palm and Kaylie stands on the tips of her toes, lips near his ear when she whispers, "Because my best friend doesn't love Carter like she loves you."

"No." Nicky shakes his head. He has the sudden urge to rip his hand free from hers and stomp, but he doesn't do either. One, he's afraid that if they let go she'll run (classic Kaylie Cruz) and, two, he isn't twelve-years-old. "Kaylie, don't use Payson as an excuse. If you're scared, just admit it."

"Scared of what?" she asks, hardening yet again.

"Of us!" Nicky explodes, tired of all the bullshit oblivion they're both constantly fronting. "Maybe of the fact that there's a possibility there could be an us. Kaylie, you might not be able to admit it yet, but I am sick of pretending. We got really close recently even though it goes against everything we both believe in or used to believe in. I like you, Princess, and I can admit that now. You're already avoiding me and going back to Carter again. I don't see how things could get any worse."

"I'm terrified, Nicky," she whispers.

"It's alright." He squeezes her hand tight. "So am I."

"No, you don't understand. I can't do that to Payson."

Kaylie tries to tug away, but Nicky just pulls her right back.

"So you admit you feel something?" he asks hopefully.

"Nothing, but guilt," Kaylie says. To Nicky, it feels a twist to the dagger stuck in his heart. "Nicky, you have to understand where I'm coming from here. For the past few months all I've done is watch relationships fall apart around me. You and Payson, you two have a chance."

"Payson's great and I thought I wanted to be with her, but…Payson isn't the one who I have fun teasing and fighting with—"

"Well, in Pay's dense, lately she hasn't been in the teasing sort of mood…"

"Payson doesn't let me win at thumb wrestling and pretend to be pissed about it," Nicky goes on.

"I don't let you win—"

He cuts her off, continuing with his argument. "Payson doesn't get me to slow it down when I'm being all neurotic and just take a moment to stare at the sky."

"Because Payson's productive and—"

"Payson doesn't give me butterflies."

Kaylie feels her eyes start to water. She knows she's obviously losing this one, but she still has to try. Sighing, she says, "Nicky, we agreed never to mention that night—"

"Payson isn't in my bubble."

"Neither is the real world."

"Payson doesn't have me Googling red tulips at three in the morning."

Hearing that one, Kaylie stops and looks up at him, so vulnerable and fragile. "You…you actually Googled it?"

Nicky nods. "I did."

"Nicky, this is really sweet, but I really have to go now," Kaylie says, still trying to escape.

"I'm not done yet. When Payson's hurting, she shuts down and shuts me out. You showed up at my house and you ran, literally ran, to me instead of away from me," Nicky reminds her. "That has to mean something, Kaylie. You can't deny that."

Kaylie's head is spinning and she's losing her mind. He's bringing that wall of hers down word by word.

"Hearing Ike talk may make me want to set myself on fire, but just thinking about what Carter did to you, how he treated you, makes me want to set him on fire," Nicky says, moving in closer. Kaylie's stopped even trying to argue with him. "Yeah, I really care about Payson, but we weren't even together to begin with. And yes, I guess I did love her and I still do, but not in the way I could have before. It's more of a natural love, not a romantic one and it looks like we're both moving on.

Payson's a great girl, she really is, but I've given it a lot of thought and being completely honest here, Kaylie, besides what you already know, the ultimate reason for why I can't be with Payson is that, as cheesy and cliché as it probably sounds…she isn't you."

Nicky moves towards her and Kaylie instinctively backs up until her spine meets the window of her car. He really wishes she'd leave her hair down more often so he could brush a little out of her face like in the movies. Something crashes over him and he brings his hand to cup her cheek because he just needs to touch her in some way and Nicky's a classy enough guy that of course the first thing he thinks of is her face.

"Nicky." There's a warning in her tone.

"Kaylie," he breathes back. "I'm gonna kiss you now. Stop me if that's what you really want."

Of course, the gentleman (and socially retarded gymnast) he is, Nicky warns her before he's going to kiss her. Kaylie doesn't even protest. She simply closes her eyes and prays he can't feel her heart beating through her skin. Nicky leans down because she's just that much shorter than him and her sore gymnast feet are in flats. He presses a light, chaste kiss to her lips before slowly pulling away. Kaylie slowly opens her eyes to meet his expectant gaze and they may be physically in the Rock parking lot, but with the electrically charged feel in the air, it's as if they've returned to their bubble.

Kaylie rises to the tips of her toes, meeting him halfway and bringing their lips back together. Her arms wrap around his neck and Nicky's hands find her waist, pulling them even tighter together. When she feels his tongue trace her bottom lip, Kaylie shivers and arches against him. She parts her lips because they are in their bubble and they're Kaylicky and with them there's only right here and right now and all those reasons not to seem so distant.

Suddenly there's a burst of laughter from somewhere nearby. They both go still as statues despite the pounding hearts threatening to burst through heaving chests. They break away quickly, awkwardly, just like that time they had almost hugged, but realized it had been a bad idea. This, right here and right now, their bubble bursted, just as bad an idea, or at least, Kaylie's convinced it is.

"Nicky…"

"Yeah, I know," he laughs, entwining their fingers. "In front of the Rock…probably not the best place to be hashing things out."

"Nicky, I can't do this."

With that frown he's now wearing, Nicky might as well rip out her heart because that's how Kaylie feels. "But you kissed me back…"

"It...it was a mistake. I'm pretty sure I just made things worse and I'm sorry, Nicky. I'm sorry for everything, but you and Payson, you can be happy together, like drama free, going for the gold together happy and I…I'm not going to be like Marty. I can't. I'm sorry, Nicky, but, I won't."

She covers his hand with hers and slowly peels his fingers from the hold they have on hers. They share one last, lingering gaze before she turns back to her car, gets in and drives off. Nicky can only stand there and watch her go. He thinks about Valentine's Day and Payson telling him about meeting Ike, but all Nicky can really concentrate on is how this, here and now, hurts so much more.

Author's note: This was so hard to write! You have no idea. I kept working on it a little bit and closing it out and working on it again. I'm not so sure how satisfied I am with it, but what do you think? Review!

As a side note, I hear the new season starts tomorrow. Does anyone have any MIOBI spoilers? If you don't, it's okay, enjoy the premiere, if you do, put em' in a review, but make sure to put a '[SPOILER]' tag before just incase people who do mind spoilers look through the reviews. Thanks for sticking with me and reading, everyone!