Chapter 10 Fairytale…maybe
"Nessie…this is not something to joke about" Jacob's voice was very controlled
"Who says I'm joking Jake?" my voice was loud losing the war with the roaring of the rain.
"You know I want to spend the rest of my life with you" he said as he grabbed my other hand "but this…what your asking is only because you feel guilty, you think you have something to prove"
"Yes I feel guilty and yes I want to prove to you that you are the only one for me but…" I gathered my thoughts "I want this…I want to marry you, why wait Jacob? It's inevitable"
He just stared at me; I was still unable to read his face.
"Oh" I said as realization crept over me "You…you don't want to marry me…" I let go of his hands embarrassment running through my body, I'd put myself on the line only to be rejected, but I deserved it.
I started to walk away but he grabbed my arm. "Nessie, what do you think saying 'I want to spend the rest of my life with you' means?"
I just looked at him.
"Honey, this is what you want…its not just reaction from… Nahuel? You are sure about this"
"Yes, Jacob this is what I want more than anything…Nahuel is nothing to me…nothing"
He looked at me and smiled slightly, his eyes were warmer.
"Ok, then we should do this right" he smiled.
"Right…?" I quizzed.
Suddenly Jacob was on the ground one knee buried in the mud, the rain pounding violently on both of us.
"Renesmee" he said as he took my hand "Will you please make me the luckiest man to have ever walked the face of this earth? Will you marry me?"
My smile could not beam any wider across my face. I slid to the ground in front or him burying both of my knees in the mud. I grabbed both sides of his face and kissed him passionately. Then I wrapped my arms around his neck squeezing as tight as I could.
"So…" Jacob questioned
"So…what…?" I said happily, my arms still clenched around his neck.
"Ah…it's kind of a yes or no question" he said sarcastically.
I didn't realize I hadn't answered.
"Oh" I laughed looking at him "Yes…Yes I will marry you"
Nahuel POV
That was probably the hardest thing I've done –wearing my heart on my sleeve- but I'm glad I did it. Nessie needed to know that I was serious about her and that I don't think her heart should be strung along on some tethered rope called imprinting.
Jacob Black is the love her life, but is this because her mind is trained and molded to believe he is? Or does she truly feel this intense for him? What happens when we are together is undeniable. It was nothing I'd ever experienced.
I think it's something about us being one in the same, coming from the same mold of half human half vampire raised to fit in with the "normal" crowd.
It was wrong of me -and I knew it- to pursue her, but I couldn't ignore this feeling…she couldn't ignore it either. I'd never thought I'd be that guy who would try to steal another mans woman but Nessie had some hold over my heart that I was physically unable to escape.
I loved her… too much for my own good.
There isn't a word big enough to describe the love I feel for her and it was all so sudden.
I sat on the porch as she went to answer her phone.
I somehow needed a chance for us to sit somewhere, without an ease dropping werewolf around, but there was no way she was going to leave, this hold he had on her almost seemed unhealthy.
I knew I was as blunt as I could be with her, she knew my feelings and even though she didn't speak it her eyes said it all.
I could see she was battling with her self. I felt bad to cause her this much stress but what if she was making a huge mistake by ignoring the pull she has for because of some mythical voodoo she had with Jacob?
"Jake, so you're just going to leave me here" I heard Nessie yell. I focused on what I could, it most definitely sounded like they were fighting. She yelled about being left behind with Joham then I heard her screaming that she was sorry.
It twisted knots in my stomach to hear her so weak so vulnerable. How could he let her beg like this, I so badly wanted to go get her but it wasn't my place.
When I picture Nessie, she is drop dead gorgeous, strong, funny, kind hearted, brave but to hear her beg for him was simply demeaning. It took every fiber in my body not to run to the back of the house to defend her; to tell Jacob he was a coward for making Nessie belittle herself like this.
She was screaming at the top of her lungs that she was stupid, that she didn't deserve him. This could not have been the same girl who I'd seen her whole life literally from her own palms. In her thoughts I saw spectacular colors, happiness, love, respect, independence among many other things.
This girl I heard right now was broken, damaged and feeble. This was pathetic; never did I imagine Nessie to be fragile. Hearing the anguish in her voice made me cower; I so badly wanted to run to her side and hold her, to try and make the pain go away…
"Jake I love you…I don't love him, Nahuel means nothing to me…you have to believe me"
It was like someone stabbed a dagger right through my heart. She couldn't mean those words-even though she yelled them out fervently. She was saying these things to appease him…to tell him what he wanted to hear. I know what I saw in her eyes, I felt her pulse when I told her how I felt, and there was no denying it. And yet her words tore through me like thorns.
I couldn't take it anymore; I needed to clear my mind. Nessie had to acknowledge she had feelings for me and she will accept the fact that I am willing to fight for her.
To the death.
Renesmee POV
"So, we're engaged" my voice joyous
"Yes…we are engaged" Jacob smiled rain droplets getting into his mouth "Sorry about the no ring thing" he laughed
"It's ok Jake, I kind of understand why you weren't prepared" I teased.
We just stared at each other for a long while before Jacob spoke
"I think we should get out of the mud and wash up"
"Ok" I said not really listening to what he said but just focusing on keeping his eye contact.
"Jake, I love you" I said this like it was the first time I'd ever said it, like it was brand new information that I'd just obtained, like it was a foreign language.
He looked at me comically.
"I would hope so" he winked
"No, Jake…really I love you so much. I've been so stupid; I don't understand why I keep hurting you…"
"Shhh" he put his finger to my lips "You are my fiancé now and we are starting with a fresh slate, we are not going to worry about anything else from before…" he paused his face grew serious "except the fact that we need to ask your friend to leave"
I hadn't thought that part through yet, but it didn't matter. Nahuel needed to leave and it should be my responsibility to make sure he did.
"Right" I said my voice shaky as Jacob helped me up from the mud. Jacob interlocked his fingers into mine as we walked around the house. I took in a deep breath of air, closing my eyes before we rounded the corner.
I opened my eyes and to my surprise Nahuel was gone.
I wonder what made him leave, and then I realized that I'd been yelling so loud when I was trying to stop Jacob, he had to have heard me. He had to have heard the mean things I said. My chest tightened and a knot grew in my throat, I felt sick for being so mean to Nahuel when he didn't deserve it.
"Well looks like that's handled" Jacob said snidely but I ignored it I didn't want to start an argument just moments after getting engaged.
"Ok, let's get clean so we can go…" Jacob said blissfully
"Go where…?" I said coming out of my reverie
"I'm guessing Port Angeles…"
I looked at him puzzled
"…Or Seattle…?" he said quickly, he obviously misread my facial expression.
"No Jake, I mean what's in Port Angeles? And Seattle…?"
"Oh, well Seattle has a Tiffany's but I know you are not into that fancy stuff. And Port Angeles has a few antique shops that kind of stuff you and your mom like, but its up to you…if you want Tiffany's you can have it" he beamed.
Slowly I realized what he was talking about, I was so wrapped up in feeling guilty for Nahuel that I'd totally misunderstood every word that was coming out of Jacob's mouth.
I smiled before speaking "My ring" I said happily
"Yes Sherlock" he said jokingly, I punched him and he laughed. The sun was starting to come out and the rain had finally stopped.
"So where to…?" he asked his smile brighter than I'd ever seen on his face.
"Definitely Port Angeles" I smiled.
"I figured you wouldn't be too happy with the whole Tiffany's thing"
"You know me so well Mr. Black" I leaned up to kiss him.
"I sure do almost Mrs. Black" he said as our lips were still connected.
Mrs. Black…I couldn't wait until the day this became official.
Chapter 10 Part II
"Stop staring at me" I laughed as we sat on the couch in his living room watching television.
"Sorry" he said smirking still not breaking his gaze.
I sat there still watching the television and I could feel his eyes burning through the side of my face.
"Jake…!" I said embarrassingly, he was making me feel self conscience.
"Sorry, I can't help it" his smile lit up the whole room, it was so cliché to say but it was so true.
"It's just; I don't think I ever really looked at you before"
I didn't know what he meant; I just stared at him blankly waiting for him to continue.
"You've always been beautiful that much is too obvious to ignore…but when I look at you now I see everything, our future, our past, our present. Happiness is just radiating off of you, I can't take my eyes off of you it's almost like you are a completely different person…"
"I am, and I know why" I interrupted. He looked at me confused.
"Jake, I was never fully in it" I said shamefully "I was trying to see how far I could push imprinting but last week when you were going to leave me" I choked over the last two words "I knew that I was crazy, I knew that imprinting or not I needed to be with you and fighting was the most absurd thing I could possibly do. It all set in, it all made sense to me" I smiled "That's why everything is new to you…new to me. I look different because I feel different. I am different. You've changed me for the better Jacob"
I once again put my heart on full display, but this time I didn't care and I wasn't embarrassed. Jacob needed to know everything from now on. I owed it to him.
Jacob was trying to conceal a laugh which confused and surprised me.
"What…?" my eyebrows perched.
"Nessie, I was never going to leave you"
"But you wouldn't turn around…you wouldn't listen…you were walking away?" I quizzed.
"Because I was mad…but unlike you; I knew how I felt about you. And I knew the powers of imprinting I couldn't leave you…if I did I would be nothing, I would be miserable. If I didn't have you I wouldn't want to live, I don't think I would be able to live…it's that strong"
I looked at him wondering how much of a fool I must've looked like too him; screaming for him to stay drenched in the rain, crying hysterically and he was never leaving.
"Then where were you going?" I turned my whole body to face him
"To your house, to grab some things to get some fresh air" his face got serious "After what he said to you, I almost went out there and tore him to shreds" his face was rigid and intense.
"But I had trust" he gazed at me; I could still see the pain in his eyes trying to surface
I looked at him feeling completely unworthy of his trust at that point for how'd I acted.
"You had trust in the imprint…" I started to say
"No Nessie…imprinting aside, I knew that you wouldn't do anything, I knew that it wouldn't go too far. I knew how you felt about me before you were even sure" he took in a deep breath "But when he said those things and you didn't defend…us… I needed to either get some fresh air or kill him. I opted for the one that would hurt you less"
My heart was a huge knot; I searched long and hard for the right words to say.
"Jake" I breathed, I felt my tears about to brim out of my eyes as I spoke
"That fresh air you were going to get…well I thought it was you saying goodbye to… us…that hurt me so badly" before he could speak I quickly added "And I deserved it, that was the scariest moment of my life and I will never have to go through that again" I said the last part mostly to myself as reassurance.
He reached over and hugged me and we just sat there in the welcomed silence. I closed my eyes and really relished in the bliss I was feeling at this moment.
Everything was happening so fast, but it all seemed to be moving right on course. Maybe this was how my life was supposed to be; a lot happening at once and very quickly. That is pretty much the definition of my life…aging quickly…maturating quickly…falling in love quickly. Everything seemed to be on fast forward and I realized I'd prefer that over autopilot any day.
Jacob grabbed my left hand, holding it slightly up, using his thumb to caress under my ring finger.
"It's beautiful" I whispered. When he turned my hand toward him, the little diamonds on the side glistened and when the beautiful rounded diamond in the middle hit the light just right; magnificent reflecting rays shown brightly from its bed.
"You spent way too much though" my voice was playfully stern.
"You don't know how much I spent" his words very cocky "I sweet talked the lady for a discount". I rolled my eyes ignoring his story but it was true, I didn't know how much he paid for it because he made me leave the store.
"Jake that heart shaped one was beautiful and I know it was a lot cheaper"
"Hush" he said flatly, still holding my hand up letting the diamonds sparkle in the light.
"That heart shaped ring would be perfect if you kept a magnifying glass in your pocket at all times" he joked.
"Oh whatever that ring had personality" I defended
"Yea because it didn't have much else" he teased. I shoved him with my right hand, my left one still secure in his hand.
"Besides Ness, I don't know why you are defending that other ring. I saw your eyes when you saw this one…I think you fell in love with this ring quicker than you fell in love with me" he poked my side.
He was right-not about the falling in love with the ring quicker than him- as soon as I saw this ring and tried it on I knew it was the one, but I saw that original price tag and decided there was no way I would let him spend that kind of money on me. But he caught my face; he saw my eyes light up. He knew me so well. He wouldn't even let me try on another ring and before I knew he was kicking me out of the store and snatching it off of my finger to pay for it.
We playfully nudged and punched and tickled each other for a while until Jacob grabbed my hand again.
"So…we have a few humans, a little over a dozen werewolves and a hand full of vampires who have no clue about this" Jacob was trying to be funny, but my stomach lurched.
I honestly didn't think about the "telling people" part. I'd been so caught up in my little world of happiness with Jacob that I neglected to look at the bigger picture.
"My dad" I gasped out.
"Ness…cool it" Jacob said concerned
"Jake…my dad…? He thought I was too young to even know about the imprinting let alone getting married?" I was speaking way too fast
"Just bring up how old your mom was when they got married" Jacob concluded as if it were an open and closed case. Did he not understand? He of all people should know my father and my fathers over reactions.
"I already played that card when I wanted to have sex with you" I said way too quickly
Jacob smiled and then his eyebrows perched "You talk to your dad about having sex with me?" his voice seemed embarrassed and slightly pissed.
"Jake, seriously…? That's what you want to talk about right now?" my voice was panicked and loud I thought I was going to hyperventilate. How did I possibly not consider the fact that I would have to tell my parents and family? I'm 17; would they even take me seriously?
"Ness…Ness…Ness" Jacob said as he wrapped his arms around me "You…need…to calm down before you pass out again" he laughed. I glared at him wondering how he could find humor in my homicide, because that's what it's going to be when my dad finds out.
"Sorry" he laughed "I was kidding" he tried to control his smile for my benefit but he failed miserably.
"How about this" he said letting go of me, so he could face me "How about we test the waters on Billy first when he comes back tonight" Jacob's eyes were hopeful that this would calm me down.
"Yea…Jake lets tell your harmless human father that we are engaged, that's great practice for telling my venomous vampire father"
Jacob pressed his lips together it was evident he was trying to push back laughter.
"Ok, Ness…how about we have dinner tonight"
I looked at him like he was an idiot "Dinner? Jake I…"
"Just hear me out" he interrupted "Me, you, Billy, Charlie, Sue, Em and Rose…" he purposely choked over the last name "Have them come over, tell them the great news and weigh their reactions"
It didn't sound like a half bad idea, even though my uncle and aunt couldn't eat, they would still come over. It was just going to be rough and highly annoying; it always is when Aunt Rosalie and Jacob are in the same room.
Jacob stood up his face excited at his idea, how his smile could make me forget anything. I stood up in front of him and wrapped my arms around his waist.
"So what are you cooking?" I said as I laid my head on his chest.
Jacob just squeezed me tighter planting a gentle kiss on top of my hair.
"Well for us food eating types… I was thinking some steaks…yours, rare of course" he said still talking into my hair "And for our 'other' guest I was going to run down to the Red Cross really quick and pick up a few pints of B positive"
I shoved him as hard as I could; completely failing at covering up my laughter.
"Don't you even start…!" I laughed as I playfully punched him "Promise me Jake"
"Promise you what?" he said as he tried blocking every one of my punches.
"Promise me no fighting with Rose tonight"
"No deal" he said flatly. I looked at him deviously and lurched towards him. I grabbed his right arm and twisted it behind his back, I then hopped up on his back placing my lips on his neck.
"Promise me or I'm going right to the jugular" I laughed
"Nope I can't make that promise…sorry"
I twisted his arm tighter, and he yelped in mock agony. I let my teeth trace the side of his neck
"Promise!" I demanded as I pulled his arm even further back behind him in an awkward angle.
"Ok…ok…ok…!" he conceded "I promise no fighting…no fighting" he laughed in mock pain.
"Thank you" I said confidently. I released his hand and kissed his neck before I hopped down.
"I can't believe I am a victim of domestic violence" Jacob said as he playfully collapsed to the floor.
"Well when I want my way I get it" I plopped down right next to him on the floor.
We just looked at each other, no words needed to be said we both knew what the other was thinking. We both rolled facing each other and at the same time we moved in to kiss, this kiss felt right. This kiss didn't feel eager, or forced it didn't feel premeditated it felt like we would be doing this for the rest of our lives and I knew we would.
As soon as Jacob's hands were under my shirt caressing the side of my stomach and my hands slowly began to pull his shirt up, I heard that annoying buzzing from the other room
"Ugh" I said as I went to sit up then stand "I'm thinking this is some sort of a sign" I said frustrated. He just laughed and laid there as I walked to the kitchen to grab my cell.
"It's ok, we have all the time in the world, and I'll be right here when you get back" he teased.
I smiled; those words meant more to me than he could ever imagine.
"Hello" I answered into the receiver my voice was probably very unwelcoming.
"Renesmee…? Where…been…your phone?"
I didn't recognize the number but that was definitely my mother talking. Once again every other word seemed to be missing.
"Hello…mom…wait, I can't hear you. What…?"
"Joham…alone…coming back…hear me?"
"No, I can't hear you…can you text me?" and before I knew it an operator was saying this number was no longer in service. I knew they were probably on there way back I just wish someone would have a decent phone to communicate with me.
"Everything ok…?" Jacob asked as he walked up behind me, putting his arms around my waist. It was so rare that I would be this happy, I didn't think one person deserved this much happiness it was enough to spoil me.
I turned around to face him "Yea…its fine, my mom was on some crappy hotel phone I could barely hear her but I did hear her say they were coming back" I beamed.
Jacob smiled and lowered his face until our lips met. This was the only thing I was prepared to focus on. This was something I was more than willing to do for the rest of my life.