Chapter 10

Empire day part 1

Kanan's pov

"No don't...please don't!" Ezra cried out in his sleep.

I had been soothing the kid through the bond we share most of the night. I could feel his fears, the pain, what was done to him was very wrong as it was very different from the last time that Ezra had been there. Joe had told me that changing major things like revealing when I told the empire of my jedi status was going to have repercussions, but to have them come out on Ezra like that...It was my fault.

"Kanan lov, how is he?" Hera asked coming in to change the bandages on Ezra's wrists.

"About the same. It hurts him to try and reach for the force right now, but he will heal. The force flows through him, healing him slowly as much as we are. Hera I blame myself for this, I should have been there" I answered, putting my head in my hands, only to feel her slip her arms around me.

"Kanan, Ezra wouldn't blame you, he knew what was needed to save that child and you knew we had to take out that shipment of kyber crystals, I know you said you knew where they were, but I needed more than that. Ezra did everything he could and more" Hera said as she soothed my soul with her own kind of force power.

"I know, but to use force restraints on Ezra after he had to use the force to get that kid Jai away...if it hadn't been for Zare Leonis, Ezra could have been very sick or even dead by the time we found him again. To cut a force user's force signature off is pretty much the worst thing you can do to them and to do it to a kid that has relied on the force to lie for so long, it's no wonder he is having nightmares" I said looking up at her.

"Will you be okay? I mean Sabine and I have the supply drop to handle, but if you need me to stay I could send Zeb" Hera said.

"Can't believe Sabine tricked you into letting her come" I said running a hand over Ezra's hair and down the new padawan braid as the old one was cut off by the empire when they found it.

"No please don't" Ezra called out again, I just soothed him with a soft touch on his head.

"I think this mission with me will be the best thing for her. Seeing Ezra like that, not knowing if he was going to live, really scared her, it's not that she hasn't seen death or even deaths of people close to her, but some one so young and that she knows so well hurt like this, well she needs a break and don't tell her this I'm glad of the company" Hera said letting go of me and coming forward and giving Ezra a soft mother - like kiss on his temple and then she left.

It would be a few more hours before Ezra woke up. I could see the boy was still a little out of it, but his force signature was becoming stronger now and the healing was starting to go faster. I was still sure that I should blame myself for his state, but after the talk with Hera and thinking over it myself I realized that I should just be happy that he is home.

"K...Kanan, w..where" the boy tried to say, but without force, his body was too weak.

"Easy Ezra, your safe. We were able to stop the empire keeping the Kyber crystal and rescue you and your friend Jai. Right now all you have to do is rest" I said sending the boy warmth and comfort until his eyes closed.

"Boss how's the kit?" asked Zeb coming into the room.

"He'll be alright, a little bit longer and he'll wake up again" I said, looking at the big guy, seeing how worried he was.

"Good because Hera just called there's a problem with the Phantom" Zeb said.

Oh kriff, I had to forget all about that planet and it's inhabitants, the Fyrnock. Those creatures were the stuff of nightmares, Ezra had enough of them in the days following this mission the first time around, this time Ezra was injured, so he was staying on the Ghost, right away from them. It might be trouble for us later, but I think the only way I can do this,is to take it one day at a time, one choice at a time.

"Zeb did you forget to run the checks on the Phantom like Hera asked?" I said knowing what the answer was, but it was nice to see him look uncomfortable.

"Might have come up, but in my defense we were all worried about the kid" Zeb answered, to which I said " tell Hera we are on our way and then set course for Hera's position, as soon as Ezra is awake again I will join you".

Some time later while we were in hyperspace Ezra woke up again. Dazed and confused he tried to sit up this time he made it, but still needed the support to stay that way. The kid was weak, but healing well and his force signature was much stronger, I didn't needed to stay here to help him any longer. I knew it was time to join the others in the rescue, but I needed to say something to Ezra first.

"Ezra I'm sorry they did that to you. I had no idea what they thought they would get out of you or what they were going to do to you after that" I said gently touching the boy's head.

"They wanted me to join them, said they would turn me into an inquisitor and they also said that they would keep the cuffs on until I agreed. They hurt so much" Ezra said.

"Those cuffs are designed to brake force users, left on long enough the person's connection to the force can be cut off forever, but that would end that person's life as the force, however you use it, is your life blood. You will die without it, I should have told you about this before, but I didn't think they would use them on you. It's all my fault" I said.

"Its not your fault, I don't blame you for this, its the empire's fault for thinking they can rule everyone, but will I be okay? I mean will I be able to use the force again" Ezra babbled out, a small spike of fear coming through.

"Easy Ezra, one question at a time and yes you will, I already feel your force signature returning to normal, it will take some time, but it will be okay" I reassured him, before I got up to leave.

"Kanan I...".

"Just rest kiddo, that's all you have to do for now, I promise" I answered and then left the room.

It didn't take long before we got to the planet Anaxes, that was where we would find Hera and Sabine and from what we could see they needed our help. Hera and Sabine were battling the fyrnocks, I could see that like last time they were over run with them, but now I remembered what I had to do to keep them off the ship and I needed to pick up Hera, Sabine and the Phantom one before turning on that electric field.

"Zeb get down there, keep the ramp clear of those things with Chopper. Tell Hera and Sabine to get on, then we'll pick up the Phantom and get off this rock" I said to Zeb and the big guy hurried off to do what I asked him to do.

I could hear the ramp lowering and the growls and screams of the fyrnocks as Zeb and Chopper fired on them. Also Hera and Sabine's footsteps as they ran up the ramp, firing as they did. I smiled and shut the ramp as I told them that the Ghost was lifting off and then turned on the electricity to get rid of any of the fyrnocks that might still be on the hull.

"Well done lov. I didn't know you knew how to do that" Hera said as she came in the cockpit and sat down next to me, pushing the button that would capture the Phantom.

"There is a lot you don't know about me dear" I answered, then saw a flicker of light in her eyes on the word dear, so the flame is starting to light.

I was about to say something else when I hear a cry from Ezra, not just in words, but in the force. I race down the hallway to see Ezra trying to fend off a fyrnock that had come on board. Ezra had used a force push to hold off the creature against the wall, but it wouldn't be too long before his strength gave out.

"Ezra release it, I've got this" I said, quickly igniting my saber and not too soon, the fyrnock was released in the next moment and in the next second it was dead as my saber cut it in two.

"Ezra are you..." I started to say before Ezra jumped up and hugged me, his whole body shivering, the weakness he felt before all gone,not even trying to hide how he felt. As I held him I continued to sooth him, and once his shivering died down I continued to speak " Ezra, padawan listen it's okay to feel this way, that was a big shock".

"I tried to connect with it just like I do with you, but I couldn't" Ezra said his shivers gone, but still clinging to me.

"Connecting to me a willing being is one thing, connecting to something that's not that's another. Don't worry we will work on it and remember your still in recovery" I said giving him a final hug before laying him down and he was asleep in moments after that, all energy gone.

I could feel the others close by, but I had to make sure Ezra was completely out of it before I dealt with them, not that I would need to, I was sure Hera was giving Zeb the telling off he needed after what he and Chopper pulled.

"Zeb I am glad that you saved me, but if you had finished checking the Phantom in the first place this would never would have happened" Hera said.

"Don't worry Hera, this won't happen again and I'll finish checking and fixing the Phantom" Zeb said sounding a little down.

"Good you can do that while we are on Lothal. I have a lesson for Ezra to teach and a parade to disrupt" I said.

Ezra's pov

As soon as we touched down on Lothal's surface I really started to feel better, stronger, as if my injury and weakness with the force happened weeks ago not days, of course it had to be today that we landed here. I hadn't told anyone what today was or what happened on it eight years ago today.

Right now Kanan and I were having a light jedi lesson outside in a field, just beyond old jho's pit stop. Hera, Zeb and Sabine had gone inside the cantina and I wished I could join or at least fast forward it, but no Kanan wasn't going to let that happen.

"Step outside of yourself, make a connection with another being besides me" Kanan said.

"Can we do this another day?" I asked, looking at Kanan, hoping that he could feel what I was feeling over the bond so that I wouldn't have to say the words.

"Ezra I can feel that something is wrong, but we need to do this, now focus" Kanan said holding a rock in his hand.

In that second I felt a flash of feelings from Kanan that he knew something about what was going on with me. I nodded and watch as he tossed the rock into a patch of grass. A wild loth - cat jumped out, hissing and growling, it must hae been hit by the rock. I looked at Kanan for a second and in that second I saw a smile and I think I heard a chuckle.

I turn back to the cat and say " I don't think he really wants to connect".

"You are resisting the feelings he is putting out. He can sense it" Kanan said, this time I know I heard a chuckle from him.

"He can sense it? what is he, like a padawan cat?" I said, only to be pounced on by said padawan cat.

The little feline was ferocious in its defense, all tooth and claws. I was sure any minutes I was going to be bitten and or scratched, maybe both by this wild cat. I could hear Kanan's laughter, but also I could hear someone else laughing too, the voice was back.

"Kanan you had better help the kid out" said the voice.

Huh Kanan heard the voice too? was this some jedi thing or was there more to it, and even though I didn't hear the rest of what Kanan had said to the voice, voice's meaning was very clear about what he was telling him. I knew then that Kanan definitely knew more than he was letting on, I didn't have proof yet, but I would get it.

"You don't seem to be getting this" Kanan told me now, over the loth - cat's growling.

"I get that this fur ball is trying to kill me!" I said just before I shoved the cat off and continued " now give me your light saber and I'll make the connection".

"Excuse me?" Kanan said giving me a glare that Hera would have been proud off.

"Sorry, I just don't see the point of this" I said dropping my head down, hiding my face with my hair so he couldn't see the tears in my eyes, I really didn't want to do this lesson.

"The point is that you're not alone. You're connected to every living thing in the universe, but to discover that, you have to let your guard down. You have to be willing to attach to others, it's a unwritten part of the jedi code. Even if the only one your willing to connect to like that is with me" Kanan said, waved a hand and smiled at the loth - cat who was now purring at his feet.

"Then maybe I'll never be a jedi" I said looking away.

"Ezra I ..." Kanan started to say then stopped mid sentence, then continued with "kid, what ever's going on with you, you need to spill it".

Spill it. I learned pretty quickly that meant Hera or Kanan in this case jargon for revealing what was troubling you, just as karabast was Zeb's favorite swear word that everyone seemed to say. Only this thing wasn't a problem that could be solved by talking about it. My parents were gone and I had seven years of kriffling birthdays to prove it.

"I can't" I said, putting my arms around myself, the pain was doubling again, then suddenly I feel arms around me and warmth spreading through everything. I then realize that Kanan is doing this for me, that this day is about me, showing that there is more to this world, to this universe, that he really cares about me.

"I may not know what you are going through, but I do know how it feels to feel cut off, alone" Kanan said, his voice calm and soothing.

"I'm sorry, Kanan. I don't mean to wear you out. Today's just not a good day" I said.

"Today?" Kanan asked, pulling back to look me in the eye.

"Empire day" I answered, but didn't go on, just then the loth - cat growled if it could sense how much I hated this day.

Then I saw what the cat was growling at, a squadron of imperial tie fighters. They landed at the pit stop just outside the cantina. I was a little worried, why would they come out this far?

"What are so many tie's doing out this far?" I asked when I couldn't work it out myself.

"Nothing good. Come on" Kanan answered and we took off at a run, only slowing when we got close.

Kanan's pov

We slowly snuck down the stairs, Ezra drawing on his slingshot activation chip, I saw this and then put my hand across blocking him from firing it and then said "not unless we have too".

I led Ezra to the counter, I could see that we had drawn the attention of the crowd in the cantina, humans, humanoids that included a shistavanen or two, even a quick glance by the others in the Ghost crew, who sat in a booth, but we didn't attract any more attention than that so they went back to what they were doing.

We could see the imperials doing the rounds on the people at the cantina. Stopping suddenly by a rodian's table, pulling the poor man to his feet. The leader consulted a datapad which showed a lighter green rodian, not the one they were looking at in front of them. I realized who that was, I could feel the name on my lips.

"Tseebo" I said without even thinking about how I would know that name because Ezra hadn't told us who he was yet.

"As you would say karabast" joe said in my ear.

I turn to see Ezra staring at me and I just realized I just stepped in a big pile of bantha poo.