I love you guys, Axel signed lazily. The valium was having an odd effect on his mental state. You saved my life.

Roxas stroked his hair the same way he was stroking Solace's fur. "We're just glad you're still alive."

Axel beamed sleepily, hugging the cat a little closer. It was nice how the valium made his hands quit shaking so much, and helped to stifle the screaming need for alcohol. After what I did to you guys...you're still willing to help... He held his hands a little higher, to keep them out of Solace's reach. I can't thank you enough.

"You've done so much for us over the years," Demyx murmured.

Axel turned his half-open eyes on Demyx. How's your arm?

Demyx shrugged onesidedly. "Getting better all the time..."

Axel nodded. "Good," he mouthed silently, knowing Demyx would understand him perfectly. Between the medication and the cat on his chest, and the disappearance of those terrible hallucinations, he was relaxing for the first time since...since he'd first tried to give up the bottle...after...

He swallowed hard, ignoring the flare of pain in his throat. "I wanna talk to you in private," he mouthed to Demyx.

Demyx nodded and gave Roxas a slight nudge. "You'd better get the cat out of here before Fori comes back," he said softly. Roxas looked at him warily, but gathered up the cat and left. "All right...talk about what?"

Axel swallowed hard again. ...What really happened that night?

Demyx blinked. "What?"

Axel winced. You know. That night. The...next-to-last time I got drunk.

It was easy to tell when Demyx figured out what he was talking about. Axel just waited until he suddenly cringed like he'd stepped on a nail barefoot. "Oh...then. Do you...I mean, do you really...don't you think..."

Axel nodded, feeling a little sick. I have to know.

Demyx slumped into a chair, looking like he was about to be tortured and had no way to prevent it. "All right...I heard you rattling around in your room at 2:00 in the morning, and, like an idiot, I threw on some clothes and went to investigate just in case you needed help. You punched me, wrestled me to the floor, and tore my shirt and robe off; then, when I tried to escape, you choked me until I almost passed out." Axel was feeling increasingly ill as he listened. "While you were taking your own clothes off, I tried to escape again, and you knocked me around, shoved me against the wall, and kissed me. When I bit your tongue, you threw fire at me and shoved me against the wall again." Demyx's voice was growing progressively softer. "I asked you what you were doing...you said you were gonna fuck me, and stuck your hand down my pants...and I...I just lost it. I just started punching you until you went down and didn't get up, and then I ran off." He wiped his eyes. "I'm sorry...I...what could I do? What other choice did I have?"

Axel was finally feeling like he might breathe again someday. Are you sure that's how it happened?

Demyx sighed heavily. "Trust me. I remember every detail. I wish to hell I didn't, but I do."

I'm sorry, Axel signed. I had to know the truth. Secretly, he felt weak with relief. Lung Jiu Gui had been lying.

He wasn't past all hope.

Why did he have to do that?

Demyx sighed as he lay down on the bed, with his feet on the pillow. Being forced to remember that terrible night was approximately as enjoyable as rehashing his own death.

Actually, death had been more enjoyable. Freezing was a pretty painless way to go, after all, even with a Heartless waiting to crack your chest open as soon as you stopped breathing.

Dammit, now that he wished the codeine would actually knock him silly...

Connie jumped up onto the bed and started grooming his hair. He might have discouraged her, but his right arm couldn't move that far and his left arm was pinned underneath him. "What are you doing up there?" he asked instead. "I know I washed my hair this morning...go lick your own fur..."

Connie batted him with a paw, right between the eyes, as if to say Hush; now lie still so I can finish. Not sure what she really meant or what the point was, Demyx held still. Or tried to, at least. The sensation of having a cat licking his hair was a little too unusual to be entirely comfortable. When she started licking his forehead, he just couldn't put up with it any more. "All right! That's enough! You're g-ahh..." Trying to sit up, he'd accidentally moved his right arm the wrong way. The pain made him go cross-eyed for a moment. "Ah, man...can't wait until that's done with..."

He lay back down with his head on the pillow, this time; Connie immediately climbed on his stomach and curled up like a furry hot-water bottle. "Sorry I'm not exactly feeling lively right now," he murmured, stroking her fur gently. "I just...why did Axel have to bring that up?" He sighed. "If I were him, I think I'd be happier not knowing...funny, though; he actually looked kind of relieved when I told him...but why would he be? If I were him, I'd be horrified..."

"Mew."

"I dunno either." He sighed, shifting uncomfortably. Now that Axel had forced him to recall them, those memories just were not going away; they kept rattling around the inside of his head, reminding him of what had happened, what could have happened, what almost happened...He absently rubbed the knuckles of his left hand, ignoring the twinges and tight-skinned feeling in his right arm. He remembered entirely too well the terror, the panic, the desperation, the overwhelming need to escape somehow, the sensation of his fist slamming into Axel's jaw over and over...

"I had to," he whispered to himself. "If I hadn't...if I hadn't stopped him, I know he wouldn't have stopped himself..."

"Mew." Connie climbed up onto his chest and licked his chin.

"All right, what are you doing there? I know I shaved this morning..." Connie curled up on the uninjured side of his chest, with her head tucked under his chin. "Um...well, I hope you're comfortable." The kitten's purring seemed to make his whole chest vibrate. Demyx sighed. "I did the right thing, right? Better to hurt him than to let him...let him do that...?"

"Mrrr." Connie seemed entirely too comfortable to care one way or the other what Demyx had or hadn't done, as long as he didn't disturb her rest right now. Demyx sighed and resigned himself to serving as a cat cushion until further notice.

Video games just held no appeal anymore, Roxas decided. They were only really fun when Axel was there playing with him. Trying to play by himself...well, they were a little boring. Actually, kind of depressing too. Game time with Axel was somewhere between one of their mutual favorite pastimes and an integral component of his life. Game time on his own...it was like going to the movies by yourself. Or eating ice cream by yourself. It just didn't cut it.

Maybe Demyx would be interested...

Yeah, right. The last time Demyx had actually wanted to play any video game other than Guitar Hero, he'd been bored out of his mind and too weak to get out of bed for anything except to go to the bathroom. Besides, would it even be possible to play comfortably with Ace bandages wrapped around his chest and shoulder? Definitely not, considering how burned up he was...

Why not. I might as well ask him. It wouldn't involve moving his arm around much; he'd probably be able to take it...

Roxas quickly checked Demyx's room. Demyx was stretched out on his bed, fast asleep with a cat on his chest. So much for that idea. Roxas went right back to his room and opened a book, trying to lose himself in someone else's concerns for a while.

It didn't work. He couldn't help but remember that that was what he'd been doing the last time Axel had come into his room. It wasn't long before anxiety forced him to give up.

So...video games were no fun, he couldn't focus on a book, Demyx was asleep, and he wasn't sure if he'd be comfortable talking to Axel right then. That didn't leave very much to do, as far as Roxas was concerned.

He envied Demyx's ability to sleep just about anywhere, anytime. Except Demyx didn't seem to have that ability right then. Or at least he'd lost it for a while. It was probably his meds making him sleep right then, after all.

Well, maybe a change of scenery would help him relax. Keeping as quiet as possible so as not to wake Demyx, Roxas crept into Fori's room and sat down on the floor with his book. He wasn't able to focus much better than before, but at least he didn't feel so tense and anxious. Eventually, he even managed to force himself to focus long enough to read a chapter or two.

"Hey, Rox. What are you doing in here?"

Roxas jumped almost a yard. "Uh...reading...couldn't relax in my room...I thought you were asleep!"

Demyx sat up, running his hand through his hair as the cat hopped down and pounced on Roxas's bookmark. "Well, I was...then I woke up. Don't let me disturb you. Go ahead. Keep reading."

Roxas shook his head, retrieved his bookmark from Connie, and jammed it in his book. "Forget it. I couldn't focus on it anyway."

Demyx nodded understandingly. "So...what can you focus on?"

"Nothing, I guess."

Demyx raised an eyebrow. "Not even video games?"

"Not even those. It's no fun playing by myself."

Demyx nodded, then looked thoughtful for a moment. "Maybe I could play with you..."

Roxas blinked in surprise. "You want to? You think you can?"

"Can't be any harder than chopping onions..."

Life in the hospital wing, now that Axel was over the initial euphoria of his own continued survival and the discovery that he had not, in fact, done something unforgivable, had become extremely boring. Boring and depressing, since he couldn't talk, use his powers, leave the room, or roll over.

At least, with a cat sitting on or near him forty-five minutes out of every hour, and someone else in his room the other fifteen, he was no longer having flashbacks to prison.

Funny how much better the cat made him feel. The cat didn't seem to care what he'd done or hadn't done or how much he'd drunk in the past, just as long as he provided him a warm, if rather bony, place on which to sleep in this sunless world.

Solace was a good name for that cat. And if Demyx's cat was providing him with the same level of comfort, maybe Consolation wasn't as stupid a name as he'd first thought.

"Hey, Axel..." Solace perked up even more than he usually did as Roxas opened the door - for some reason, he was bringing Axel's dinner tonight, instead of Vexen or Fori. When he handed over the plate he was carrying, the contents turned out to be something Axel had never known Xaldin to cook before - he didn't even know what it was. "That's khichdi," Roxas offered by way of explanation. "Demyx made it for dinner a couple days ago; he insisted we save some for you."

Roxas was kind enough to pick Solace up and keep him out of the way while Axel pondered the dish. What is it? he finally signed.

"Rice, lentils, and vegetables. Nothing scary in there."

Tell Demyx I said thanks. Axel dug in without a great deal of enthusiasm or appetite, only the knowledge that Demyx was a good cook and that whatever he made - and it often fell under no category Axel recognized but "whatever" - it was bound to be good. It was good; it was just his appetite, or lack thereof, that led him to set the plate down with only five or six bites missing. Sorry, he signed at Roxas's concerned look. I'm not feeling very good.

Roxas frowned and sat down next to him. "Sick to your stomach or something?"

A little. Axel sighed, feeling a little bit dizzy. Blame the meds.

"Well, you gotta eat to keep your blood sugar up..."

I know. Solace tried to squirm out of Roxas's grip to get at the food, but Roxas kept a tight grip. I just... Roxas just gave him a look, and Axel sighed and forced himself to take another few bites before giving up again. You'd better get him out of here, he signed, gesturing to the cat. Fori should be here soon.

Roxas looked down at Solace, who was still trying to get to the khichdi. "He really needs a name, doesn't he..."

He has one, Axel signed - though, granted, it's not like Roxas could have known what it was. His name is Solace.

"Solace...?" Roxas seemed to think about that for a long while. "...I guess it fits..."

As it turned out, playing video games was as much fun as Demyx remembered - namely, not very much at all. But it had helped keep Roxas's mind occupied with something other than Axel for a while, which was the entire reason Demyx had agreed to play in the first place. When he was on his own, though, it was far more entertaining to lie on his stomach on the floor and hand-feed Connie little bits of leftover turkey. It was much more fun to watch Connie pouncing and wrestling the pieces of turkey he flicked at her before devouring them than to blow the heads off computer-generated bad guys. "That's good, isn't it?" he cooed, not particularly caring what an idiot he probably sounded like. "Yes, it's delicious!" He laughed as the last piece he'd offered was thrown into the air before being caught and eaten. "Delicious and fun to play with!"

"Demyx?"

"Yeah?"

"You look like an idiot."

"I was dimly aware of that. However, Connie and I are having a blast. Right now, that seems more important than whether or not I look like an idiot."

Roxas sat down on the floor next to him, releasing the tabby cat he was holding; the tabby went straight for Demyx's plate without waiting for tidbits to be offered. "You know, that was for you to eat."

"I know. And I did eat some of it. How's Axel?"

Roxas sighed. "Still alive. Still mute. Still sane."

"How'd he like the khichdi?"

"Didn't eat much of it. Said he didn't have much of an appetite and didn't feel well."

Demyx sighed. He knew he ought to make allowances for Axel's condition, but dammit, he was proud of his cooking, and his grandmother's old, tried-and-true recipes, and if Axel didn't want to eat something he made, even if he was feeling sick to his stomach, well, that felt a bit like a slap in the face...

Not a slap. A punch. A hard punch to the jaw, one that sent him reeling long enough for Axel to start unzipping his robe...

Demyx was a little surprised to find himself lying on the floor, contemplating his clenched, tattooed fist, even though he remembered a second later that that was where he'd been when he zoned out.

Is this normal? Is this right? Should I still be remembering it like this? Should I still be reacting to it like this?

If even something so simple as thinking Axel didn't like his cooking could give him a flashback almost two weeks later...would he ever be really okay?

Connie left off chasing bits of turkey and climbed up onto his back, grooming his hair again. This time, he made no move to brush her away. He especially didn't care whether or not Roxas thought he looked like an idiot.

Roxas was more than a little irritated that he'd been sent on a mission while his best friends were still at the castle. Granted, they were injured and he wasn't, but it didn't feel right to leave them there - he belonged with them. And sure, it was only a short little mission - go here, look for Heartless, come back in six hours - but still. Someone needed to get the cat - Solace - out of Axel's room so Fori could get in there safely and comfortably. Someone needed to get Demyx some lunch, because he still lacked the confidence to do it himself. Someone needed to keep an eye on them.

And pardon me if I think Axel and Demyx are more important than a bunch of stupid Heartless...

Academically, he knew the Organization was coming up shorthanded - Axel and Demyx were both disabled, and Vexen, Fori, and Zexion were all part of the medical staff, though Zexion didn't seem to have been taking a key part in either Axel's or Demyx's health care. That was a full third of the Organization legitimately off duty. It was nice that Roxas had been given as long a break as he had, but he wasn't disabled, and he didn't really count as medical staff. He had to go back on duty.

Well, just because he knew the reasoning behind the decision didn't mean he had to like it.

He sat down on a rock of convenient height, mindlessly tapping Oathkeeper against his boot. He knew he'd never been to this world before, but it reminded him of somewhere he had been...he couldn't put a name to the world if his life depended on it, but he'd been there with Axel...they'd spent two nights there, camping out, and Axel had spent half the first night playing with the campfire while Roxas told him to knock it off and go to sleep already...

The little glint of yellow at the corner of his eye didn't even register until the Heartless had already pounced.

Kingdom Hearts knew, he tried to fight, but by the time he'd fully realized what was going on and had summoned both Keyblades, there were a dozen Shadows on top of him already, knocking him to the ground and weighing his arms down. Soon, it was all he could do just to keep them away from his throat and chest while still trying to get out from under them and back on his feet. As the Shadows kept piling on, scratching and clawing, a large black shape suddenly loomed above the mass of Heartless already piled on top of him - a Neoshadow.

With a yell, Roxas forced himself to his feet, scattering Shadows. Three of them clung to his robe as he raced through a portal, and another four darted through the portal after him before he could close it.

"The hell...?"

The stray Heartless were blown back against the wall by a jet of water as the ones that had been clinging to him let go. Roxas swung his Keyblades at them as fast as he could possibly manage, and they vanished into scraps of darkness. When he turned back to deal with the others, they were already gone.

"...All right...you'd better have...one hell of...a story..."

Now Roxas could finally look around and see where the hell he'd fled to. He was back in the castle, in Demyx's - Fori's - room, for some reason...well, as much time as he'd spent in there lately, it kind of made sense that was where he'd run to...and, Kingdom Hearts, his everything hurt; those Heartless had done their best to tear him to ribbons... "Sorry. I...got mobbed."

"I guess..." Demyx's sitar disappeared as Connie crawled out from under the bed. In slow motion, Demyx sank to his knees, clutching his shoulder. "Probably...shouldn't have...done that..."

Roxas was at his side in an instant, ignoring his own injuries. "Done what? What happened? Are you okay?"

"Tried to fight...is what..." Demyx hissed between clenched teeth. "Kingdom Hearts...that hurts..."

"What did they do to you?"

"Nothing..." Demyx gasped. "Never got...within five feet...but...feels like...like something tore..."

"Demyx -!" The Melodious Nocturne's face was getting whiter by the second, and there was a growing wet spot on his robe under his hand. "Oh, hell, I better get you to Vexen -"

Demyx shook his head weakly. "N-no...I'll be...I'll be fine..." With that, his eyelids flickered closed, and he went completely limp.

AN: I have too many things running at once...but here, have a chapter. :D