"An' maybe I have. What's it ta you?" I glared at him, seething.

"They ain't the nicest people out there." Jack said in a quiet voice. I didn't get why he wasn't angry or annoyed but he said this so calmly it took all of my willpower not to hurl myself at him and punch him in the face, even if I did miss his face a bit since I wasn't sure he was standing where I saw him. Damn eye.

"An' what does dat mattah? You ain't either, in case ya ain't noticed. 'twas one of you that did this ta me anyways. Maybe not youse boy, but one of ya type." I made a motion at my empty eye socket, shoving a fist down by my side.

"He … dat wasn't a newsie."

"Then at least tell me why I got like dis an' ya did not much, eh? I mean shore, ya helped. But it ain't done nothing to improve my sight or anything." My voice was growling now, Jack was still standing there looking completely nonchalant.

"Ya lost an eye, Blink." Kelly said the name like it was a boast, scornfully almost. I stared at him now, moving my feet a bit.

"That's gonna totally make a difference in your life." I said it sarcastically, stepping forward. As I drew nearer to where I assumed Jack was in the region of, I could hear a few snickers, but when I turned in the direction of them and glared at the boys, they shut the hell up immediately. Maybe it was the missing eye, maybe it was the fact that they were used to handicap people and had just wanted to make me feel a little bad to be nice to me, or maybe they were just terrified of me, but they didn't make a single comment as I walked straight up to Jack and stared right into his face, glad I was somewhat closer than I'd thought I'd been. "Now you listen heah, Kelly. I ain't got time to do whatever ya want me to do. It ain't gonna happen. If you think I'm gonna become one of youse, I ain't gonnna give ya the pleasure. And I will fight ya. I will."

Jack appeared a little taken aback that I was so close and actually on target with his face, and he stuttered a bit before getting a word out.

"Y-Y-Ya gotta understand, I ain't mean nothing by the way but…gangs just ain't who I thought ya'd go with." He was trying too hard.

I shook my head, "Ya wanted me to go with youse, didn't ya? I ain't gonna. I told ya. So get over it, cause I ain't gonna do it. I won't be giving up that easily."

"You call this givin' up, Blink?" Now he was angry, as he looked around at the tense newsboys who were probably angered a bit too, "This ain't giving up. This is tryna make some money, get something as a reward, not jus' beg on corners all day. We got our own mouths ta feed. Tell me, Blink, da youse ever get a lot of money or just a little? Newsboys got their own ways. Gangs have theirs. An' while I ain't seen their's as fit to live, it's how it's gotta be."

"Well I gotta live like them, that's how Ise know how ta live, Jack. So get over youself. I'm not gonna be back here." I turned around, nearly tripped over a bunk bed leg storming out after not being able to judge the distance between myself and the bed-but heard not a single giggle or snicker-and walked into the freezing cold once more.

The snow was no longer going down as hard as it had been, the blizzard had succumbed to something of a lesser kind, which was fine by me. Whatever they were doing inside that house now didn't matter to me. If Jack was telling them all to hunt me down, find me, get me back because he obviously thought I could work there, I would run all the way to Queens before they found me. I was not getting caught by anyone ever again.

I would stick to my word of not going back there either, for as long as I could. I didn't want to see any of them anymore, Jack was not going to get the pleasure of seeing me there ever again. It was bad enough I couldn't find my way properly back to the shack because of my eyesight, imagine walking around Manhattan all of the time! I wouldn't survive. I had to stick to begging, because it meant staying in one place.

And indeed, the walk back to the shack proved to me that I would not survive as a newsie. It was still snowing slightly as said, and I couldn't always see through it so I'd run into things constantly. By the time I got back to the railroad tracks and the small building, I was wet and freezing all over, and I wasn't sure I wanted to go inside the shack. Maybe the bakery would prove a good place. It was open now, I was sure of it, even though very few people were around.

The bakery was the one place I'd been to so far, and it hadn't seemed horrible. The owner was kindly enough. As I entered, feeling stiff, trying to avoid hitting a table, and sitting down at the bar, I sighed and lay my head in my arms, hand feeling my empty eye socket which still had dried blood and felt horrible. It was a very strange feeling, the emptiness and the tissue all stuck in one place. A barman cleared his throat.

"Ise jus' taking milk." I said, lifting my head a bit. "Warm, if ya could."

He gave a quiet nod, and moved away. I put my head back down, fingering the few coins I had in my pocket. It wasn't much to survive on, Jack had that right, but it was the only thing he had right. I had to make a living somehow, and since I'd been stealing things before all of this, I thought of begging as a much more honest position. A little sting in the back of my head reminded me that this wasn't all I wanted, nor was it really what I thought. That sting had been there for so long I'd pushed it back for years, because I wanted to make money, but I wasn't going to do it by anyone else's rights or ways. That sting was a pushover sort of thing, and it just told me what I wanted wasn't real and so forth.

The milk arrived, and I handed the man the coin, and took a sip, feeling slightly light-headed. I didn't want to resort to last minute planning, but I couldn't go back to that shack. Not if I wanted to catch a cold that killed me. I could feel my spirits plummeting again, in the way they had in the Refuge, depression striking again where I least expected it. But I wouldn't allow that to be the end of me, I was going to make it through this. I glanced up to see the barman watching me with a kind smile on his face. He was a younger man, probably in his 20s, with thick black hair, and brown eyes, and that grin that told me he probably knew how it felt.

"You're one of those gang members, ain't you?" I was surprised to hear his voice like that, with the "ain't".

"Yeah." I nodded glumly. "What's it ta you?"

"You're new. I know some of those boys…" He had this distant look on his face now. Great, random stranger encounter time, combined with probably a story on how he had been a part of a gang himself.

"Ya were one of 'em?" I asked, still curious despite that previous warning. Damn my curiousity.

"I was a newsboy. But I knew a few of them, 'cause a few were newsboys themselves." Oh great, another newsboy. I felt like laughing and crying at the same time.

"Yeah, well you ain't missin' an eye 'cause of some stupid dude who wanted ta fight."

"You were in the Refuge too?" How the bloody hell did he know that?

"They been telling ya things?"

"I heard it from them. Look, if you're gonna get outta here, ya gotta take your own steps, I get it. Have this." He slid a small bag of what was obviously money across the counter to me. "I keep it in case people like you wander in. I find money helps at the best of times, and you ain't gonna get out of there fast without it. But you ain't gotta do it the way they say. An' the name's Fred, but they know me as Blackie. If you run inta another newsboy, they'll know who I am."

"Thanks." Blackie. Well that was a new one, but I certainly didn't mention it. Before I could put my head back down on the counter with a thump, he called to me "stay as long as ya like!" while he took my cup away, and with that, took away part of my stubborn behavior.

A/N: Well that was chapter 10, I hope you enjoyed! Thanks for reading, and please, review, review, review!