Chapter Ten
An Uncle's Affection
by Empathicallychosen
"The power of love to change bodies is legendary, built into folklore, common sense, and everyday experience. Love moves the flesh, it pushes matter around... Throughout history, "tender loving care" has uniformly been recognized as a valuable element in healing."- Larry Dossey
Harry pushed past the diner patrons and out onto the pavement. He didn't even stop to apologize to a man he had knocked over in his haste to escape. He wanted to die. It was that simple. The despair echoing throughout his soul was unbearable and indescribable. At least if he were dead, he would not have to feel any more. His heart was broken, and his soul was ravaged. It seemed that he would never recover from the overwhelming hollow sensation that had taken over. What was worse, he could feel the hot sting of tears behind his eyes.
No, Harry refused to allow himself to cry. Getaholdofyourself, his mind snapped. Ever since Sirius and Remus found out about the abuse Harry was terribly emotional. Far more emotional than any self-respecting fifteen-year-old boy ought to be. Especially one that belonged in the noble house elf Gryffindor. If his housemates could see him now. Harry shuddered. The Weasley twins would never let him live it down.
He ran as fast and as far as he could. Thankfully for Harry years of trying not to get beat up by Dudley and his gang were finally good for something. Harry's emotions and his powers however were another matter entirely. Harry frowned as the tingle of magic left him. Angry storm clouds filled the sky. Large raindrops the size of marbles began pouring from the heavens.
Harry knew this wasn't good. Even after his emotions were in check the rain did not stop. This was supremely unfortunate because ever since he'd woken up from his dream about the Grangers he had a fever. One that was steadily rising with each passing moment. Images of his mother's worried face swim back into his recollection. What will she do if I catch pneumonia. Harry didn't want to think about it.
His panic was steadily waning. He suddenly realized how stupid he had been to leave the apartment. He was in a strange country wondering around alone, exposed in the rain. A fork of lightning past landing so close to Harry that the hairs on the back of his neck stood up. This and the fever made him slow down finally stopping inside a little park less than a mile from the apartment. The wind was ferocious, splashing water at him from all sides, He shivered.NicegoingHarry, he thought bitterly wishing he had anything besides his father's thin pajamas to protect him from the cold. Unable to move himself any further he sought refuge under an old oak tree. Hugging his knees close to his chest Remus's words resonated in his mind for about the millionth time.
Reflecting on them he realized that the reprimand had not been said out of anger at Harry as much as concern for Hermione. Regardless of his own betrayal Harry smiled wistfully. His eyelids began to feel unbearably heavy. I'll just lay down for a moment, he thought to himself as he propped his body against the tree trunk. . . . then I'll go back. With that Harry shut his eyes and unintentionally fell into a fitful sleep, oblivious to the lightning and thunder crashing all around him
Remus ran as fast as he could out of the apartment. Guilt flooded his very being. Hermione's words repeated in his mind. "... COULDN'TYOUSEEHEWASUNDERASPELL?" Remus cursed silently. How many spells could one child be under at once ? Just when Remus thought they were all making steps in the right direction, the monster in him would rear its ugly head. Maybe Molly is right. Werewolves don't make model parents.
He shook his head. He refused to think about that now. Harry was ignoring his beckoning and he had to catch up to his original cub. He would have accomplished his goal were it not for Harry's clever use of shoving people in Remus way as he hurtled out into the unfamiliar street. Remus only paused for a moment when he ran headlong into a man wearing a business suit and carrying a briefcase. By the time he ran outside Harry was halfway up the street.
Ominous clouds came from out of nowhere. While Remus fought to get to the boy whose mental anguish was the cause of the unexpected downpour. A mob of people pushed him back fighting equally hard to get out of the stormy weather. The problem was that there were dozens of them and only one of him. When Remus could at last see where he was going again his objective was gone. Remus paused before reaching in his back pocket and pulling out his wand.The Muggleswon'tseeanythinginthismess, he reasoned.
Though the truth of the matter was that the whole world could have been watching for all he cared. Harry's distraught expression kept jumping to the forefront of his vision mingling with Hermione's words. Remus didn't need to think hard to a member the last time he'd felt so terrible, it was in Harry's third year after Remus confiscated the map. For being the levelheaded one Remus certainly admonished the boy a lot. If he ever caught up to his charge Remus would never rebuke him again. Fifteen minutes later found Harry fast asleep in a park resting under a tree.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING, he'd wanted to scream out but the thunder made doing so rather pointless. DON'T YOU KNOW IT'S DANGEROUS TO HIDE UNDER TREES WHERE THERE IS LIGHTING?! Horror overwhelmed every inch of Remus's soul. Casting a shielding charm over his own body, he ran out to retrieve the child. At the sight of the boy Remus's regret expanded more than he would have previously expected possible.
Harry was as white as rice paper except for the dark circle under his eyes and the purple tinge to his lips. Harry's breaths were raspy as well. the effort of breathing seemed incredibly painful even in Harry's sleep. Trying to wake him Remus tapped Harry's cheeks hard and noticed how warm they were. He placed a hand on the boy's pale forehead. SweetMerlinyou'reburningup! Mypoorlittlewolfpup . . . KeepittogetherMoony! Getthecuboutofhere!
With that Remus wasted no time scooping Harry in his arms trying to ignore the fact that the fever-chill boy's silk pajamas were soaked through and through. The jog back to the apartment didn't take long at all but as the storm progressed Harry's violent shivering had only worsened, though his shaking body became warmer and warmer without relent. Inside Harry stilled a little but not by much. Unable to open the door he kicked as hard as he could, half hoping to break down the obstacle. All he achieved unfortunately was a throbbing left foot and he was forced to wait for Nicolette to answer. The seconds seemed like hours. He could hear anxious voices growing silent. Remus was painfully aware of each footstep as he grew ever more impatient. The handle turned and Nicolette appeared. She gasped, Remus hurried past into the room.
Ignoring Hermione's persistent questions as she hopped nervously beside him Remus headed straight for the master bedroom. He imagined he would have to deal with her frustration soon enough. For now his main concern was getting Harry dry. Placing the boy on the bed he went over to his packed suitcase and retrieved a nightshirt and turned back to Harry. With a heavy sigh Remus reached over and started unbuttoning Harry's top. Harry squirmed eyes wide.
"Now Cub, stop your fussing," Remus chided, abandoning his vow never to chasten the boy again although Remus tone was much gentler now. "We need to get you dry. Otherwise you'll just continue to suffer."
"I'm fine," Harry protested.
Remus frowned. He was really,reallygetting to hate that phrase. It was never true. From the way Harry spoke the response was automatic, nevertheless, the knowledge of this did nothing to curb the wolf's frustration. How could Harry tell such blatant lies right to his face? In third-year Harry was so predictable in his lies that Remus and Sirius joked to this day that the boy would never get away with anything.Butyouhavegottenawaywithquiteabit, haven'tyou? Exasperated Remus watched Harry shiver from the cold.Notanymore, youdon't! Feeling the long-familiar desperation to parent the boy which had only continued to increase with each passing day since the moment the werewolf had stepped unto Privet Drive taking over once againRemus sighed inwardly. Whymustyoumakeeverythingsodifficult? The horrible way Harry's entire body trembled made it painfully clear that Harry was in no condition to clothe himself. Wishing that there were some other way Remus pulled out his wand.
"Don't lie to me," Remus scolded. "Now, it is time to get you out of those wet things. So either you let me dress you or I will have to stun you and neither of us wants that, do we?"
Remembering the way Harry had defied Sirius, Remus mentally prepared himself to follow through with the threat. Much to his relief however Harry seemed to remember his last ultimatum all too well. Harry's resolve to stay uncomfortable melted away. Remus smiled eternally grateful for Harry's submissiveness. It made everything much easier.
Remus made quick work disposing of the sodden apparel. There was no need to prolong Harry's embarrassment. Inwardly Remus thought Harry's skittishness was just silly. After all, he had dressed Harry at least once a week during his infancy. Of course he was too young to remember such things but surely he had to realize that Remus had only been too happy to tend to the boy. Otherwise he wouldn't have been so fond of the boy as to consider him part of the pack.
While he did so memory's of looking after the baby boy reentered his mind. Remus had never actually forgotten but in that momen he recognized how innocent Harry was despite the trials he had seen. Remus's total adoration made him stagger.
"There," he said smoothing the garment to his satisfaction. "You see, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
Harry shook his head meekly. He was still shaking however and his teeth chattered. Remus frowned. Harry was still making light of his condition. But what else could he do to ensure Harry's ease. His eyes were instantly drawn to Harry's hair wet and caked with mud.
If Prongs could see how well behaved Harry's hair was he would have been disgusted. Muttering a quick drying charm Harry's mop returned to the untidy locks the werewolf knew so well. Just for good measure Remus ruffled it with his hand. Harry was freezing. Receiving inspiration from his memories Remus went into the boxes and grabbed a patchwork quilt. Rather than tuck Harry beneath the covers he swaddled, Harry exactly the way Lily showed him all those years ago. Remus could see Harry was less than pleased but it didn't matter.
"You'll stay warmer this way," he answered be unspoken question, raising his hand Remus placed it carefully over Harry's scar.
He almost swore in shock. Harry's forehead was hot, far, far too hot. But he had known it would be. What he did not know was that the heat directly emitted from the lightning bolt scar. Without a word Remus left the room almost running into Hermione who had been watching the interaction carefully.
He couldn't allow himself to wonder what might be running through her mind. Harry still needed his attention. She could tell him how awful he was later. Marching resolutely into the bathroom Remus rifled through the medicine cabnit until he found a vile of charcoal gray potion. He paused for a moment looking down at the bottle in his hand. Would pepper up potion even work against a curse scar? His fist tightened around the mixture, it would have to. Stopping off in the kitchenette he seized a brass goblet from one of the cupboards. When he returned, Harry was already half asleep.
In spite of the severity of the situation the werewolf felt a smile tug at his lips. Harry looked so cherubic whenever he slept. Remus knew he was overreacting. The flashes of Harry as a baby were only figments of his imagination exacerbated by his conscience and encouraged by the wolf in him but he didn't mind. If Harry knew you thought of him this way . . . , a voice in the back of his mind began.
No, Harry wouldn't be content. Remus could not imagine any fifteen-year-old would be. After all it was in their natures to act as if they were already adults. He will simply have to get used to it. Remus told the voice. Besides he made his bed when he decided to surrender his powers. He scowled instantly. Ever since Dumbledore's confession Remus and Sirius had been researching the spell used and were aghast to find out that it mentally stunted those under its influence. I'll never understand what you were thinking . . .
Harry began to cough startling Remus from his revelry. He blanched as the biting noise rung in his sensitive ears. Poor Harry quivered between each deep cough and groaned hoarsely when the dreadful fit finally stopped. Sympathy worked its way back into Remus's heart. Although he found himself frowning yet again when he grew closer and saw that Harry had somehow wriggled his way out of Remus's painstaking cocoon.
"Why must you continually fight us," Remus asked simply. "Every little thing we do to try and make your life a little easier."
"I'm not 15-months-old anymore," came the stubborn, embarrassed replied.
It was then that Remus realized that was exactly how old Harry was, in some respects anyway. Remus set down the bottle and goblet and refashioned the bundle extra snugly to ensure Harry would not extract himself again. Just to make sure he also magically sealed it. Harry blinked up at Remus delirious with fever a pout spreading across his face. Rather than accomplishing its goal of having the Lycan back down, all the action did was solidify Remus's position that Harry ought to be coddled.
"It's for your own good," Remus insisted turning his attention to the pepper up potion.
. Once he was finished Remus helped, the teenager to sit up, (as best he could while remaining swaddled,) letting Harry rest against him in his arms as he slipped the goblet between his nephew's chapped lips. Harry felt unnaturally warm even through his borrowed pajamas; Remus carefully lifted the cup to Harry's lips and gently nudged a little of the liquid against his mouth enough to wet them with the potion. Harry pulled back from the goblet. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. For a moment he looked as if Remus were trying to poison him or something. Resting his hand back over the scar, it struck him that perhaps Harry did think that was precisely what he was doing. He didn't need a thermometer to tell him Harry's fever was high enough to give him hallucinations.
"Time to take your medicine Harry," Remus said in as soothing a voice as he could manage. "You want to get well, don't you?"
There was a few seconds of awkward struggling, Remus finally put a stop to it by taking Harry's jaw in his hand, forcing his mouth open and pouring the concoction down his charge's troat. Harry stopped thrashing in Remus hold. Remus gripped the ill boy firmly for a moment nonetheless He only allowed himself to get distracted when Nicolette entered carrying a washcloth in one hand and balancing a bowl of water in the other. Her years as a waitress producing a new skill.
When she set the bowl of water down, she placed a hand on his shoulder and gave it a reassuring squeeze. He smiled gratefully before dipping the washcloth in the water and ringing it out. The trickle of the water was magically comforting to hear. Devotedly Remus dabbed at Harry's scar allowing the water droplets to run from his forehead down his fever-flushed cheeks. Harry's eyes fluttered open and he turned as much of his body as he could toward them.
"Re-mus," he rasped out his voice mimicking Sirius's after years in Azkaban.
Remus resisted the urge to shutter, "Good of you to recognize me."
Harry blinked up looking dazed. But before he could respond another bout of coughs overtook him. Remus could no longer hold back his urge to flinch. If it were this painful merely listening to the cough, the agony Harry was going through must have been staggering. Picking up the bowl he carefully poured some of the water into the goblet.
Waving his wand over it to make the water that much colder Remus waited a moment for the illness-stricken boy to stop coughing before he very carefully helped Harry sit up. He whispered his name three times tilting the cup to his lips, gently nudging it between his the slight gap. At first Harry barely responded at all to the liquid against his chops. But as soon as a small amount slipped into his mouth, he greedily accepted the rest, draining the goblet in only a few gulps.
"Th-thank you," chattered Harry.
Remus's eyes widened. That was most definitely the worst thing Harry could say at that particular moment. He was showing his former professor gratitude when Remus was more or less the reason he was in such a feeble condition. You are the worst uncle EVER, spat his conscience.
Just then Harry's sleeve was jostled and Remus could see an old bruise left behind after one of Harry's beatings,. Remus could immediately tell it was one caused by Vernon due to two factors. First of which being that James's abuse though likely the most traumatic had been more restrained because the father had been doing his best to fight Voldemort's command. But the more telling determination was the way it was healing faster then James fingerprints around Harry's neck. Okay maybe you're not the worst. It let up. But he still deserves so much better . . . Before Remus could stop himself a tear trickled down his face. Harry seemed flabbergasted by the werewolf's reaction.
"Oh no, no, no," Remus choked out shaking his head. "My sweet cub! I am so, so sorry! You are such a good, very good boy! You poor, sweet, confused,littlecub . . . I never should have shouted at you. Believe me if it weren't for that accursed wolf – . . . "
In spite of himself Remus couldn't resist making absolutely certain that Harry knew precisely how young he was. He couldn't suppress a smile at the uncomfortable scowl on his precious nephew's face. Then quite suddenly once the boy had a chance to recover Harry had elapsed into laughter which ended in another coughing fit. At last when Harry could speak again he smiled.
"Forget it," Harry croaked. "I'm actually glad you care about Hermione so much."
At first Remus thought Harry was telling his uncle another lie to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Then Remus saw the sincerity in Harry's magnificent green eyes. It dumbfounded Remus. For an abused and scarred child Harry was extraordinarily benevolent. Too benevolent, Remus decided. Harry was only too willing to offer his forgiveness. Be that as it may Remus wouldn't he couldn't allow himself to take it. In a bizarre way absolution was worse then if Harry had sworn to hold the incident against Remus for the rest of his life. Thisisthechildyouaccusedofbeingheartless. Youfool!
So instead of focusing on Harry he focused on the boy's words realizing truly for the first time just how much he cared for Hermione. It was strange how deeply he had come to cherish her and he wondered when and how that came to be. He had always liked her as a student and one of Harry's best mates but somewhere between Voldemort's lair and New England he had fallen in love with the teenager in a way that he wondered if her adoptive father could have done. Notwithstanding her surly disposition toward him.
"Yes I do," he admitted.
Then the full meaning of Harry's words struck him. Care about Hermione. They echoed over and over in his mind until he properly digested them. you don't really care about me Remus was immediately between disbelief feeling offended. He knew he had not always been there for Harry the way he should have. But since picking Harry up from his relatives the Lycans had been jumping through hoops to see two Harry's needs. Try as he might Renus just couldn't understand Harry's confusion.
Why would Remus have gone through all of this grief is not out of consider for the boy for his ailing cub? Why would he risk electrocution to bring Harry back here? For that matter, why go through everything the had in Harry's third year is he wasn't truly invested in Harry's best interest? suddenly Ramis understood . You think it's all in obligation to your parents . the Lycans was just about to set boy straight when Nicolette stopped him. Harry was fast asleep.
"You rest now," Remus sighed. "You and I will talk about this duty nonsense later."
He bent down and kissed Harry's forehead placated in the fact that his temperature was dropping. Turning out the light he let Nicolette lead him out of the room. Drained he dove straight for the sofa throwing his head back and rubbing his eyes. A slight pressure pressed against the Lycan's hand. Curiously Remus looked up and found himself staring at Hermione. Herewego, he thought dismally. But Hermione never said a single word. She squeezed his hand again and this time she added a small smile. Remus gaped. The after effects of Remus's outburst may have caused Harry illness but it did have a positive consequent as well. Watching Remus looking after Harry, Hermione seemed to finally understand how much Harry met to him. Atleastsomeoneknowsit...
From the other room Harry muttered something in his sleep and Remus could just make out some of the words, "Mum . . . Dad . . . "Remus froze as a thought came to him.
"Do your parents know you're here," Remus asked addressing Ron for the first time.
"Doubt it," Ron muttered. "Sirius and Roxanne went to Barbadosy and Lily and James weren't around when we got summoned."
Remus cursed despite the fact that he rarely did such a thing and he had swore more today then he had in his entire life.Prongs must be out of his mind with worry!