Give All My Secrets Away
Black-Angel-001: i'm glad chris' attitude is shaping into something better and yes i am going to work johnny into the fire...somehow :p
Give All My Secrets Away
"I'm through accepting limits 'cause someone says they're so. Something I cannot change, but til I try I'll never know." -Wicked, 'Defying Gravity'
"Alright, here comes a little pinch."
Chris winced as the needle slid into his vein. The phlebotomist made some soothing sounds, then started chatting about..well, Chris wasn't really sure what, since he was drowning her out. Instead, he watched as his blood filled one tube, then another as she switched them out. Looking at the tray next to him, he could see at least three more so with a sigh he settled back and closed his eyes.
"Open your eyes, honey," the phlebotomist admonished. He did reluctantly. She gave him a vaugley sympathetic smile. "We're almost done."
No he wasn't, not yet. After the blood draws he would be going to get a physical, then an xray, then...Chris actually wasn't sure what came after that. He'd lost track, there were so many tests. He and his parents had arrived at Rampart sometime around eight, spent about three hours filling out paperwork and signing consent forms, talking to doctors. Now, another two hours later, Chris was finally starting the tests that would tell him wether or not he was a match to Ryan. All the tests would be looked over by doctors here, then sent to Stanford for confirmation.
Finally, she pulled the needle out carefully, put cotton over the vein and pushed his arm out to put pressure on the point. When she finished arranging tubes and marking them, the pulled out a band-aide over the cotton and patted his arm.
"Alright sweetie, all done," she said with a smile. She showed him the way out and left him to stand there in the lab waiting room trying to figure out what to do next. His dad moved next to him.
"Everything okay? Feel alright?"
"Yeah, m'okay." Chris sighed and looked at him. "What next?"
Roy put an arm around his shoulders. Chris knew it was for a show of support and in case he somehow ended up passing out. He let his dad lead him out and down the hallway to the elevator. Once in there, Roy let him go but his shoulder kept brushing Chris' even as he leaned against the wall of the elevator. When they stepped off, Karen was in the hall waiting for them. She smiled and nodded at a group of chairs, telling them silently where she would be. Roy nodded at her, took Chris to the exam room and waited with him until the doctor showed before he left.
Dr. Brackett nodded at Roy as he went out. "Roy," he said pleasently although distantly. He was focusing on his chart in his hands.
"Doc," replied Roy with one last reassuring smile at Chris.
"Alright, you ready?"
No, Chris wanted to say. Instead he said he was and took off his shirt. While Brackett went through the exam, he talked. He didn't really expect replies but that was fine with Chris. He lay on the exam table and stared at the ceiling while Brackett pressed on his abdomen, feeling for any swollen or tender areas, particularly around the liver.
"Chris, are you okay?"
The young man snapped out of his thoughts and glanced at the doctor. "Yeah, sure. Why?"
"You seem...preoccupied."
Chris sighed. "I'm just tired is all."
"Chris, if you're having second thoughts-"
"I'm not," Chris cut in. He looked at Brackett, saw the man watching him closely and looked back at the ceiling, sighing again. "I'm not, really. I'm just...I guess I just didn't realize how much there was to this. I mean, I knew, but I didn't know." He made a frustrated sound and ran both hands through his hair. "If that makes sense."
"It does. Go ahead and sit up." Chris did, put his shirt back on while Kel made a few notes in the chart. "Wanna bring your parents in?"
Chris shrugged and didn't see the frown Brackett aquired. When Karen and Roy came in, Kel went over everything.
"Well your vitals look good, your temps normal. Physical looks good, no swelling or anything worrisom. All we need now is your bloodwork to comeback and take the xrays and such. By the time you get done with those we'll have the bloodwork back." He opened the door and made a motion. Dix came in pushing a wheelchair that Chris rolled his eyes at it.
"Don't you roll your eyes at me," she mock-scolded. "You know it's policy. Now, are you going to get in this chair or am I going to have to wrestle you into it?"
"No ma'am," he said with a small laugh. He obidently got in the chair and started bantering with Dix as she wheeled him out and into the hall. Brackett halted Karen and Roy before they had a chance to leave.
"Can I speak to you for a few minutes?"
Concern now in their eyes they followed him into his office. When all three were settled, Brackett folded his hands together and braced his elbows against the top of his desk. Roy's brow furrowed as his concern deepended. He knew when the doctor did that he was trying to convey something he thought deeply important.
"Doc? Something wrong?"
"Chris is okay, isn't he," Karen asked, picking up on Roy's increasing worry.
"Physically yes. Mentally and emotionally I'm not sure."
Karen shared a quick look with Roy. "What do you mean?"
"He seems to have detached himself from the process. That isn't unusal or uncommon, but it makes me wonder if he will be able to handle not only this process, but if he is actually accepted as a match and candidate. It's also a good indicator of how he'll handle the post-op. If he can't, then there's no way he'll be able to donate."
That's what they had been afraid of. Chris was strong in more ways than one, but everyone had a limit, or something that could be beyond them. If this was something Chris couldn't get past, or deal with, it would hurt him deeply.
"So what can we do?"
"Talk to him, be there for him. Take him to a therapist if he won't talk to you."
"You mean a shrink?"
"I mean a proffessional who would be able to help Chris deal with whatever is going through his head over this," Brackett corrected, somewhat tightly. Roy flushed slightly. Brackett sighed. "Look, if Chris needs help then I'm looking to give it to him however he needs it. This is a big deal, and it will affect him long term. Being able to deal now means being able to deal later."
Karen nods. "Of course. We'll talk to him and see what he says and how he reacts."
"Let me know what happens." That signaled the end of the conversation, for the time being. Until Roy and Karen could talk to Chris, Brackett could do no more but watch and wait.