Author's note: To be honest, I wanted to take this story down and put up my other one. Haha. But a lot of people seem to like it and that just makes me happy. You guys are awesome and always find a way to motivate me. Thanks for everything and have a nice read. (:

Tuesday / October 10 / 2006

The baby bump is starting to show even more now, and I can't keep lying to Santana. It's eating me up inside. She's such a sweet person and she deserves an honest friend. I'm sitting on the edge of my bed, replaying and practicing how I'm going to tell her in my head. Who knew it'd be this hard? Suddenly, she calls my name because she was preparing dinner earlier. I walk out slowly with a small smile, then sit down. She sets a plate before me. It's spaghetti. I force a smile to my face and feel guilt sink in just a little more. All the things she's doing for me just make me feel like I'm betraying her and she doesn't deserve that.

"Do you not like spaghetti?" She asks and stands next to me while cleaning her hands on a napkin.

"It's fine."

She nods unconvinced, then places a glass of water a little beside my dish. I feel nauseous. All I want to do is take a shower and sleep forever. Soon enough, she sits down across from me and our eyes lock. She smiles then picks up her fork; I do the same.

"How was your day?" she asks and twirls her fork in her dish. "It was kind of warm today, wasn't it? Almost seventy-five degrees."

She raises her eyebrows because I haven't taken a bite. So, I take about two and sip some water. My stomach can't even hold it down because I'm so nervous. The nauseousness passes, then returns at a higher state. I race into the bathroom. What I just chewed up comes flowing out. Gross. Santana races behind me and comes in. Her face scrunches a little, but then she begins rubbing my back for support.

"Are you okay?" she asks and holds my hair back. I nod and gently lift my body back up. She hands me some water and I sip some, then swish it in my mouth and spit it out.

"Maybe it was the food. Or just a virus."

"Yeah," I say breathlessly while sticking the piece of gum in my mouth. "just a virus."

We walk out and sit on the couch. She hands me some crackers because I look pale and out of energy, but I'm not hungry. Then, she insists on getting me drink some apple juice, so I gulp some down. Tension fills the air I breathe. I can feel it and I'm sure she can feel it too.

"I'm pregnant." I blurt out and she giggles nervously while adjusting her legs on the couch.

"What? You're joking right?"

I shake my head and put the box of juice on the coffee table. "I lied when I told you my parents kicked me out for having bad grades. They kicked me out cause of my pregnancy."

Her eyes look around the room in shock. Tension builds up higher as seconds pass by. She adjusts her position on the couch once more, then looks down at my hands as I hold my stomach. This is too much. It's just too much for me to handle. I need to end it as fast as possible because I feel like all the liquids I've been drinking might come up out of no where.

"What's happening has to stop before we grow closer. I can't have people coming in, then stepping out. It's stressful and I can't deal with it anymore." my voice sounds shaky. It's the last thing I want to listen to right now. I race to my bedroom and take deep breaths in and out. I reach for the duffel bag beside the closet and begin stuffing my clothes inside. Then, I stop. Breathing is getting harder and harder to do. Stress isn't good for the baby. Not now, not at all.

Hours later, my chest rises and descends normally. It went from 6:00 in the evening to 10:46 at night. Time is passing faster than I expected. Again, I begin packing my belongings. From the drawers to everything in the bathroom. Soon enough, Santana comes in and stares at me without knowing what to do.

"Don't worry, I'm packing my things. I'll be out before tomorrow morning." I tell her and sniff to try to hold back tears.

There's a pause. She just stands before me, motionless. I hear her take a deep breathe and swallow hard.

"I don't care." she begins weakly and steps closer slowly. "I don't care if you're pregnant."

"It's okay, Santana. I'll figure things out."

"Don't, Brittany." she demands and takes a bunch of clothes out of my bag. I take it back and stuff I back inside.

"You don't know what I'm going through, Santana. You can ask me questions and I'll give you answers, but you still won't understand what goes through my head everyday."

"Then share it with me. I know its not mine, but...I want to be there for you."

I look into her eyes and see that she's being sincere. They're damp and a tear is ready to fall any second. A soft 'please' escapes her lips and I break. The pressure on my chest is finally lifted off and I can breathe once again.

"Okay." I whisper and she sighs in relief. She places the shirts in her hand on the bed and sits down while patting the space beside her for me.

"Who's the dad?" she asks and looks at my stomach, then into my eyes. I look away and get ready to tell her the worst part of this entire situation.

"Artie raped me." I whisper quietly and shakily. Air gets caught in her throat, but she does her best to keep her cool. She adjusts her position on the bed; her knees to chest.

"...Puck wore a condom with me. Sneaky, right?" she confesses and when I look at her, I see a tear falling down her cheek.

"I didn't want to, and he knew. They were laughing; Riley, Monica, and Tiffany. They laughed the entire time I was screaming for help. I begged and yelled...they just laughed." her eyes become so fragile after all the time I got used to seeing them so strong. She's ashamed; embarrassed and I know the feeling. It takes over every part of your body and doesn't let you think. Now, if you put all the pieces together from the night of the party, it all makes sense.

"After he got off of me, I punched Riley in the face for not doing anything. Then, she started spreading all these rumors around school. I guess now I'm a slut."

Now, she's sitting Indian style, while wiping her tears. I want to hug her, I want to feel her warmth so badly, but I don't know if I'll have the courage to. Both she and I must be gentle with our actions. We're at such a fragile state, either of us can break at the slightest fear of something. It may conjure the horrid memory.

"Have you seen a doctor?" she asks suddenly, I shake my head.

"Okay well, I'll look up some doctors online. You need to see one."

"Wait, why? How do you know?" I ask nervously.

"You were supposed to see one the first eight weeks. My cousin was pregnant before she moved to California. Her boyfriend owns a business there, but they come once and a while. I helped her through everything."

I look to the floor, finally taking in the reality of this situation. Her eyes look down too, mimicking mine. Then, she sighs wearily and glances at me.

"Just trust me, okay? I know it's hard for you, but I promise you're safe with me."

I nod and look up at the empty space ahead of me. She sits beside me, analyzing the language my body is speaking. She probably knows me better than anyone else, and we just met about a month ago. Fortunately, ever since I met her, the flashbacks are fading. This is it. The beginning of what has become the rest of my life.