From Chapter 9

"Uhh… I'm meeting with Christine." he chose to say instead.

The elevator finally announced its arrival, much to Mac's relief.

As always, Danny went in first to hold the doors open, then Lindsay followed, positioning herself behind her husband, while Sheldon took the other side opposite Danny. Mac stepped forward and held his hand against the door, while his other hand hover over the small of Jo's back. He was not touching her, but she could feel his hand hovering behind her.

Jo went in and stood behind Sheldon, leaving the center space for Mac. Mac took his spot and stood at the center, right beside Jo. Danny finally released the button, letting the elevator closed its door.

Chapter 10

-Mac's apartment-

Mac opened the door and let Christine in his apartment.

He froze again when she lightly kissed his lips upon closing the door.

"Mac, are you alright?" Christine said, looking at him worriedly.

"Yes. I'm okay. Take a seat. Dinner will be in a short while." He said, walking away from her a little too quickly.

"Are you done? Can I help?" She said as she placed her purse on the couch.

"Actually…" he was interrupted with a knock on the door.

Mac went to open the door and came back to the couch bearing a big box of pizza.

Christine stared at the box of pizza.

"As I was saying, I didn't have time to prepare anything so I just ordered pizza for dinner." Mac looked at her with a small smile.

"Oh… You could have told me. I could have brought something from the restaurant."

Mac's face fell.

"I didn't want to bother you. I just thought that ordering in is faster than making dinner from scratch. Don't you eat pizza?"

"Since college. Too greasy for my liking." She said a little disappointedly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know."

"It's okay. Let's not make a big fuss out of it." Christine said, smiling now.

An hour later, two glasses of red wine each, and half of the pizza later, they were lounging around the coffee table when Mac decided to proceed to his goal for tonight.

Mac cleared his throat before speaking

"Christine, there's this thing that's been bothering me and I think you could help" he started

"Tell me. What is it?" Christine said, while swirling the wine in her goblet, her third one now.

"What happened at the hospital?" Mac asked her, looking her straight in the eye.

"Hospital?" Christine said, confused.

"The day I was shot. What happened at the hospital? Who were there? What's the whole scenario?" Mac elaborated, still looking at her.

Christine frowned.

"I think I told you a number of times already. What's this about again?" Christine looked at him questioningly.

"Don had told me something about that day but it was not that clear to me so I figured out that I should ask you instead." Mac said, trying to play his cards right.

"Well, Don called me up, told me what happened. Then when I got there, you were still in the OR. I stayed there until you were transferred to the recovery room, then after waiting the longest wait of my life, you opened your eyes and held my hand." Christine said, smiling at that last part of her narration.

"During the time that they were operating on me, who… who were with you?"

Mac saw irritation flashed through Christine's face.

"Well, Don was there and Jo was also there. Jo was the one in-charge so she ordered the immediate capture of the person who shot you. So basically, your whole team just went there for a while, ask after you, and then they had to go back to search for your shooter. Mac, why are you suddenly asking about this?"

"I told you, Don told me something about that day but it was not clear to me. I just wanted to know the whole story." Mac said, looking at Christine intently, silently wishing for her to take this chance to tell him the whole truth.

"I see. Well, I don't know what he told you. But basically, that's the scenario."

Mac was disappointed. He let the silence fill the room, analyzing his next move when Christine looked up at him.

"How are you?"

Mac raised his eyebrows at her, a little bit startled.

"I'm good." Mac said nodding.

"What about the problem that you're having?" She thought Mac's questioning about what happened at the hospital is his way to open up to her about his real situation.

Mac looked at her quizzically, not sure what she was referring to.

"The one Jo was talking about."

He shook his head. "I'm fine."

"But Jo said…"

"I'm fine, really." Mac interrupted.

Christine sighed, feeling her anger and frustration rise to the surface.

"I really hope you'd stop doing this to me." Christine said rising to her feet

"Doing what to you?" Mac said, also standing up.

"This! Stop discrediting me Mac. I have the right to know." She said, voice becoming a little louder now.

"Discrediting? Nobody's discrediting you Christine." Mac said, controlling his voice and emotion.

"Really? Is that the story you're going to stick with?" Christine challenged him, tears filling up her eyes.

"Okay, let's just stop talking about this now." he said guiltily.

"Why, Mac? Is it because I'm getting too close to the truth?"

"Truth? What truth?" Mac said aghast.

"That you are not as okay as you wanted me to believe. That Jo was right."

"Did she told you what she thought was wrong with me?" Mac said, his own anger rising now.

"That's why she went to me. Because she's not sure. And I did not even notice anything."

"Then maybe there really was nothing wrong. Did you even think about that?"

"Tell me that there's nothing wrong, Mac. Look into my eyes and tell me there's nothing wrong and I would believe you. And this would be the last time that you'd hear about this from me." Christine said, looking pleadingly at Mac, tears falling.

Mac hesitated before looking into her eyes.

He opened his mouth to say that nothing's wrong. But he couldn't lie to her. He did not want to lie to her.

"There is… something wrong…" Mac said looking at her, his eyes sad and bothered.

"Then tell me what's wrong." Christine said in a small voice, almost a whisper.

Mac sighed.

"I can't."

Christine frowned at him.

"Why can't you? Please tell me, Mac. I'd like to help you." Christine held his hand in hers. "Please?"

"I'd like to. But I couldn't bring myself to say it out in the open, because then it would be too real. At least, not now. I'm so sorry, Christine." Mac looked at her dejectedly.

Christine sighed angrily. She let go of his hand and walked away from him, before facing him again.

"You know, Mac, the most endearing thing about you is your pride. But it's also your weakness."

Mac felt all of his blood rise to his face.

"Wait a minute. That's not fair. I have my reasons why I couldn't tell you, Christine. Why can't you understand that? Do you know how hard this is for me? Do you know how difficult it is for me even to just acknowledge that I have this kind of problem?" Mac paused, stunned of his own sudden outburst.

"Why couldn't you just offer me your support without asking me any questions? Why couldn't you just let me decide on my own of when and how I would tell you about this, instead of barging in my office and giving me some kind of a test just to prove your point?" Mac flared up at the memory of what Christine did that day.

"You didn't have to do that. Who knows? Maybe I could have told you if you had asked me about it. But no, you chose to humiliate me right there, in my own lab. Why couldn't you be a little considerate of my feelings? You wanted to know what's going on with me, fine. But you did not ask me, Christine, you demanded an answer from me. Why couldn't you be careful and sensitive of my situation like J…" Mac stopped himself abruptly.

"Like who, Mac?"

"Like who? Like Jo?" Christine said almost shouting now, angry tears staining her cheeks.

Mac was stunned a moment.

"I'm sorry Christine" Mac said, his voice low. "I was out of bounds. I didn't mean to…"

"No. Tell me. I want to know. Was it Jo you're about to say? Huh? Was it her?" Christine said, shouting now.

When Mac did not respond, she continued

"Well, I'm sorry Mac! But I'm not her! She's always with you. She's smart, perceptive… She's a detective, for God's sake! She knew how to handle people. I could never measure up to her, Mac!"

Christine paused to catch her breath.

"I did not say that." Mac's own voice a little louder now.

"Well, I'm saying it. Because it's the truth. But I tried to be like her. I may be wrong in barging at the lab like that and 'humiliating' you. I admit I got carried away because it was she who found out about it and not me. How do you think it made me feel?"

"So whose pride is whose weakness now?" Mac said defiantly.

"I admit I am threatened by Jo. Since that day at the hospital. I saw it Mac. I saw how much you mean to her. I saw how her world crashed upon her after Sheldon told them about your internal bleeding. She wouldn't budge Mac. She kept vigil, waited until you were safe. If I didn't promise her that you wouldn't be waking up alone, she would have stayed there with you. And almost every day, she would go there, just to take a peek at you, to make sure your heart's beating normally, and I just, feel threatened by her love for you, day by day…" Christine trailed off when she realized what had she just said.

Mac's face was red with rage now.

"What did you just say? Jo was there almost every day?" Mac asked her through gritted teeth.

Christine looked down, not wanting to meet his angry gaze.

"What were you thinking, Christine? I would always ask you whether any of the team had visited me while I was asleep. Remember? You would always tell me that some of them just dropped off flowers, and fruits, and whatnots. But you never told me about Jo being there almost every day! You never told me!" Mac was shouting now, couldn't believe that Christine would fool him like that.

"I told you it was unlikely for them, especially for Jo, not to show up at the hospital, no matter how busy the lab was. I told you how stubborn she could be that she would sneak in even beyond the visiting hours had she wanted to. I told you that, remember? But you chose to stay silent. You chose to fool me! What do you take me for?" Mac was beside himself now.

"You played dumb with me! You made me look like a fool! I asked you a number of times about the whole team, Christine. Not only Jo. You were given so many chances to tell the truth, to redeem yourself. But you did not take those chances. By the looks of it, you didn't even have any plans of telling me if not for that angry burst that had just happened." Mac clutched at his head, anger and disgust in his voice.

"First you humiliated me, then you lied to me, you manipulated me. Damn it Christine, you played me like a spinning top! What the hell is wrong with you?"

Christine did not dare defend herself. She knew that Mac would one day find out about everything, but she did not expect it to be this soon. She planned to tell him herself about all the things that she kept from him but she had wanted to do it when she was already prepared to face the consequences.

"I'm so sorry Mac. I'm really, really sorry." Christine said crying, still unable to look Mac in the eye.

"What happened to you, Christine? You let your emotion take charge of you. You got eaten alive by your emotion, and you let it, without fighting."

Mac's voice had toned down now. He was still angry at what she did but he also pity her for what she had become.

"You know what, you be happy with Jo. She loves you so much, Mac. And truth be told, I've always known that you love her too. Maybe that's also why I was so threatened by her. Because I knew that you both belong together. That it was just a matter of time before both of you, most especially you, acknowledge that fact. I'm really sorry, Mac. I know it won't be anytime soon, but I hope that someday, you'd forgive me for everything that I'd done."

Christine hugged him tight before brushing her lips against his cheek.

"Take care" she whispered, before letting herself out the door.

Mac fell back down to the couch as if all of his energy was drained from his body. He had never expected that the night would end this way. He had already planned on breaking up with Christine tonight but never, for the life of him, could he had imagined the ugliness that came with it.

He rubbed his eyes and sighed. What have I done to deserve this?