But all the miles that separate
They disappear now when I'm dreaming of your face

I'm here without you baby
but you're still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I'm here without you baby
but you're still with me in my dreams
And tonight it's only you and me

Here Without You - 3 Doors Down

.

The next five days found Dane on the road to the mage tower. He spend most of his time in thinking about Talia and wondering what condition he would find his relatives in when he finally reached Redcliffe. To say he was not close with his family would be an understatement. His mother, who had made so much of him when he was young, had grown increasingly demanding as he grew older. Her expectations of his behavior and manners had held him to a higher and higher standard seemingly each year. His father had made no secret of the fact that Rowena was the delight of his life, and he barely had time for his two sons. His brother, the afterthought for each of his parents, resented both Dane and his sister. Only with Rowena did Dane have any type of familial connection and now that too was severed with her death. If Dane admitted he was dreading this visit, it would adequately reflect his feelings, but Dane knew his duty to his family. He just hoped that if the First Enchanter would really send a healer with him that they would be in time to cure his brother. Talia had seemed pretty certain the First Enchanter would be willing to do so, but Dane felt as though each day he traveled that time was running out for his eldest sibling.

Dane also recalled the times he had shared with his older sister, from memories he had as a young boy of Rowena helping to take care of him, the mischief they had gotten into as teenagers, to the shared moments as they grew into adults; he remembered them all. As the road he traveled was mostly empty, Dane allowed the tears of grief he felt for her to roll down his face. Dane knew he would have to be strong to deal with the rest of his family once he arrived in Redcliffe, so he did his mourning for Rowena as he traveled the lonely roads of Ferelden.

Dane did not think he was ever going to get there, but he finally arrived at the docks where he could find the ferry man to take him across to the tower. He made a quick stop at The Spoiled Princess to make arrangements for board for his horse. Taking only what he thought he would need, he made his way down to the docks where he met a man named Kester. For a modest fee, Dane made arrangements for the man to row him across immediately. Dane had grown up in Redcliffe but had never been to the Circle Tower before. From a distance, he thought the place looked majestic, but as they drew near and the building loomed higher and higher over him, he began to feel an oppressive heaviness in the air. Looking back at the shore through the mist rising from the water, he realized just how isolated the Circle Tower was from the rest of Ferelden. When they reached the island the tower sat on, Kester agreed to wait for a time for Dane. Kester said he would just "nip down to the kitchens and have him a cuppa."

Knight-Commander Greagoir met Dane on his entrance into the tower as the Knight-Commander had evidently been summoned when the boat had been spotted coming to the tower dock. He seemed slightly suspicious of Dane, but when Dane mentioned he was a friend of the hero of Ferelden and needed to see the First Enchanter as soon as possible, the Knight-Commander agreed to have Dane escorted to the First Enchanter's office.

The First Enchanter was pleasant enough and projected an air of absent-minded kindheartedness, but Dane suspected the man was fairly shrewd. Dane did not know what Talia had put in her note to the man, but whatever it was, it seemed to make him more willing to go along with lending Dane a healer.

"So, you are a very good friend of young Talia's, are you?"

Dane did not say anything but nodded. He really hoped his face had not turned red, but figured it probably had.

"Normally, we don't send out our healers except to the king and to the army, but I suppose in this situation, I can make an exception." First Enchanter Irving stood and walked to the door of his office. He stuck his head out and spoke to one of the young apprentices standing outside. He returned to his desk. "There is a boat scheduled for a run to Redcliffe tomorrow. If you stay overnight at the inn, you and Petra, she's the healer I'm sending with you, could be in Redcliffe tomorrow night. It's a twice-weekly run so you are lucky you arrived when you did. I'm sure there won't be any difficulty in arranging passage."

"Thank you, Ser," said Dane fervently. "I really appreciate all the trouble you are going through."

"Think nothing of it, young man. Anything to help out the hero of Ferelden."

Dane felt a little uneasy trading on favors that did not belong to him, but his brother's life was worth it.

The next morning, after making long-term arrangements with the innkeeper at The Spoiled Princess to care for his horse, he headed down to the docks to meet Petra and Cullen. First Enchanter Irving had briefly introduced him to both of them yesterday. Evidently, Cullen had to come as the Knight-Commander only allowed a select few mages to leave the tower without templar supervision, and Petra was not senior enough for that. The red-haired mage seemed highly competent, and he was pleased with the First Enchanter's choice in sending her with him. He looked forward to getting on the boat and leaving. He was becoming more and more anxious about arriving home.

Once they were underway, Petra asked him some questions about his brother and the symptoms he was having, but Dane was not able to answer as he only knew his brother was sick with whatever had caused his sister's death. Petra had smiled at him and said that she was sure she would be able to figure out what the problem was in short order once they arrived. Dane was comforted by the large satchel she carried, which Petra had told him contained herbs and other healing paraphernalia she might need.

He also filled her in some on his family. He apologized ahead of time for his mother, but promised to run interference so Petra would have as little as possible to do with her. Petra just smiled, and with a side glance at Cullen, she had said she would pretend his mother was a templar. Dane had to chuckle at that as he tried to imagine his mother dressed in full templar armor. Cullen said very little and was content to stay in the background. He seemed to take his responsibility to watch Petra very seriously.

Around lunchtime, Dane unpacked the food he had bought from the innkeeper and shared it around with Cullen and Petra. After was seemed an interminable length of time and shortly before dark, the ship made landing at the docks in Redcliffe. Dane, Petra, and Cullen gathered their belongings and headed up into the hills toward the castle. Dane apologized profusely for making them walk, but neither Petra or Cullen made much of it. Petra said she was used to running the steps in the mage tower.

Once they reached the castle itself, Dane led the way to the servant's entrance and from there it was a short trip to the seneschal's quarters. As a senior married servant, his father had the use of a generous set of rooms. Dane was very familiar with them since he had grown up here. Dane knocked, but there was no answer. He tried the handle and found it was not locked so he gingerly opened the door.

"Mother, Father," he called as he entered followed by Petra and Cullen bringing up the rear. There was no answer and the room was dark. "Wait here," said Dane. "I will find out where everyone is." Petra and Cullen both agreed.

Dane moved rapidly off heading in the direction of his brother's room. The door was closed. Dane opened it and the smell of the sickroom poured out the door. There were two women inside along with his brother in the bed. One he recognized as Mabina, the local wise woman and healer for the village, who was attending to Rendorn. The woman sitting at the bedside slowly turned to face him as the door opened.

"Well, my Dane, it is about time. What took you so long?" his mother asked as she began to rise to her feet.

"Hello, Mother," said Dane as he came forward to kiss her cheek. "I came as soon as I could. I have good news. I brought a healer from the Circle Tower. How is Rendorn? Any better?"

Mabina's body slumped in relief as she heard Dane's words. Mabina knew she could not save the seriously ill young man and had been afraid she would have to watch him wither away in front of her. Mabina had tried all the remedies she had learned from her mother, but Rendorn had not responded to any of them.

"A mage? You brought a mage here? What will Arl Teagan think?" asked his mother, ignoring his question about her son.

Perhaps that we are lucky to know someone with enough influence to help us try to save my brother? "I am sure the arl will not mind, Mother," replied Dane. "Now, let me bring her in." Dane picked up one of the candles off the side table before ducking back into the other room and motioning to Petra and Cullen.

Petra entered the room with a smile plastered on her face as Cullen followed in her wake. "Good evening, Mistress," Petra said to Dane's mother.

Athdara fixed Petra with a severe look, but Petra was made of stern stuff and refused to wilt under her gaze. "Good evening," she finally condescended.

Dane took his mother's arm and firmly steered her towards the door as he introduced Petra in passing. "This is Petra, Mother. She is going to save Rendorn for us. We are going to go out in the other room and let her do that. Come." He threw a look to Petra trying to tell her he was sorry for his mother's rudeness, but Petra's attention was already captured by the figure in the bed who emitted a feeble cough as Dane and his mother left the room.

Dane spent a very uncomfortable hour with his mother split between being derided for his lack of familial feeling and hearing how sympathetic the arl had been to the family in their time of troubles. When Dane was able to ask after his father and how he was dealing with the loss of Rowena, he was then treated to a tirade on how his father was "falling to pieces" and letting the arl down by not performing his duty. Dane was finally able to break away from his mother, and he left her with the job of arranging rooms for Cullen and Petra for the duration of their stay. Dane spent a few minutes composing himself before he went to deal with his father.

He knocked on the door to his father's room. "Father, it is Dane," he called.

"Come in," came his father's voice. When Dane entered, his father was sitting huddled in front of the fireplace just staring at the flames.

"Father?" asked Dane questioningly. Dane was used to seeing his father as a man of action and not this shell huddled in front of him. His father had always seemed to be in constant motion overseeing the running of Castle Redcliffe. He had aged greatly since Dane had left Redcliffe for Denerim just a few months ago. His father had lost more of his light brown hair and what he had not lost had gone grey. His face was lined, and Dane noticed a slight shaking of his father's hands. Durell Perth had never been a large man, but he seemed to have shrunk even further as he withdrew within himself to try and deal with the pain of his daughter's loss.

"Is Rendorn still alive?"

"Yes, I have brought a healer from the Circle Tower. I am certain she will be able to help."

"Too late for my precious Rowena," stated his father sadly.

"I am sorry, Father. If I had known, perhaps I could have gotten help here in time. I miss her too." Rowena had been the only sign of life in these dismal rooms growing up as his mother fell into the rigid patterns of her life and placed more and more demands on her children. Rowena and Dane had often gotten into mischief when younger, but had drifted apart as they grew older. Dane regretted now not having tried to close the gap these past few years, but they had both been living their separate lives. The time had never seemed right, and now it never would be.

"If Rendorn dies, you will marry Linsey."

"What?" Dane's mouth dropped open in shock. "No, Father."

"Boy," snapped his father with a flash of the man he used to be. "We cannot lose her dower. Your uncle has already started working those fields. If necessary, you will do your duty!"

The marriage between his brother and Linsey had been arranged shortly after Linsey's birth. The Perth family would gain some ten acres in fields that adjoined their current holdings, which Dane's uncle controlled. Linsey was the daughter of the head of the Docherty freehold and was considerably younger than Rendorn. A few years ago, she had decided she fancied the younger brother instead of the older. Even though Dane had done nothing to encourage her, it had caused additional strain on the rocky relationship between him and Rendorn. Dane had taken to avoiding her as much as possible and had been relieved whenever his duties with the arl took him afield. Now that Linsey was finally grown, the time had come for the marriage between the two families to occur.

"You cannot mean that!" Dane declared.

His father turned his red-rimmed eyes on him. "Just try me, boy. My eldest son will marry Linsey Docherty as promised years ago, whether that is you or your brother does not matter."

"Father, I will not discuss this now. I have every confidence that Petra will be able to help Rendorn." Dane refused to think about what would happen if she did not. His father seemed to lose focus and drifted off into remembrances of Rowena. Dane dutifully stayed for a bit talking about his sister with his father. Services had already been held for her, and Rowena had her pyre in the boat on the lake as was the tradition here in Redcliffe. It seemed to be the only occasion his father had left his room since her death.

The conversation was very uneven as his father seemed to wander from one subject to the next, and Dane kept running up against his father's decree in his head. At any other point in his life, Dane would have accepted such a demand as logical and reasonable. After all, many a son of Ferelden entered into an arranged marriage. Only the very fortunate had any say in who they wed. Unfortunately for Dane, now all he could think about was Talia. It was a jolt to him to realize it was her blue eyes and smile he wanted to wake up to in the morning, not Linsey's green ones. It was light brown hair and pointed ears that drove him to distraction as he tried to keep ahead of Talia's sharp mind. Both men eventually fell silent, and finally, Dane made his excuses. "Father, I am going to the chantry to pray for Rendorn and Rowena. I will see you later."

His father grunted his goodbye and Dane left the room. He needed to find out from Petra just how sick Rendorn was. After all, if his brother recovered, then what his father had just demanded would not come to pass.

As Dane walked down the hallway, he felt as if he had already been home for days instead of hours. While he was away, Dane always seemed to forget how being here drained him. It was as if just walking in the door to his parents' abode, all the life was sucked out of him. The sadness of Rowena's death and the regret Dane felt only added to the sense of responsibility for his parents and brother that had descended on his shoulders with his mother's letter.

The door to Rendorn's room was open and there was already a marked change. The windows had been thrown open to cleanse the stale air, and the bed had been moved over in front of the fireplace, which had a cheery fire blazing away within it. Petra looked up from the potion she was distilling and smiled at Dane when he poked his head in the room. Mabina hovered uncertainly in the background, seemingly willing to help Petra however she could, while Cullen stood by the wall across from Rendorn's bedside out of the mage's way. Petra waved a hand at Dane, "Come in and say hello to your brother."

Dane walked over to the bed. "Rendorn?"

Rendorn turned a pale face to his brother. "Hello, Dane," he said weakly.

Dane reached out and took his hand. "I am glad to see you, brother. How are you feeling?"

"Better, much better."

Dane looked up at Petra who smiled at him. A feeling of relief washed over Dane as he realized Petra must think she could heal Rendorn or she would not be smiling. He returned her smile gratefully.

"You rest now, Rendorn, and concentrate your strength on recovering. I am going to the chantry."

Rendorn nodded his head and shut his eyes. Dane looked at Petra to see if he could talk to her, but she was busy with her potion. She made a shooing gesture with her hand so Dane resolved to speak with her later.

Dane's mind drifted as his feet followed the familiar path to the small chantry in the castle. He had spent countless hours there as a child as Arl Eamon had allowed the family to worship there rather than having to make the trip down to the larger building in the village. On his way down to the chantry, he ran into Arl Teagan.

"Ser Perth! How good it is to see you!"

"Thank you, my Lord. I am pleased to see you again as well," replied Dane with a bow.

"I was sorry to hear about your sister. How is your brother?" asked Teagan sympathetically.

"Thank you, my Lord, but Rendorn is better. You should know, however, I brought a mage and a templar with me, and they are here in the castle. They are attending my brother who seems to be improving."

Teagan raised an eyebrow at that. "I'm impressed, Ser Perth. How did you ever manage to worm a healer out of the tower?"

Dane flushed. "A friend arranged it."

"Sounds like a good friend to have, but I must go. Ser Donall awaits me for an inspection of the guard. I hope to see you again before you leave." Teagan turned back around after taking a few steps down the hall. "If you can ever get my brother to release you from your vows to him, there would always be a place for you in my service."

"I shall keep it in mind, my Lord. It would be an honor." Dane bowed deeply once more as Arl Teagan strode off down the hall.

Dane continued on his way to the chantry. He had great respect for Arl Teagan, especially since the two of them had worked together closely months ago to save the village from the undead that had threatened everyone in Redcliffe. That thought brought his mind back to Talia. He was amazed with how untouchable she had seemed in those days, so confident and in control of the situation no matter what was happening around her, that she would ever spare more than a passing glance his way. The images and memories of the past months he had spent with her were ingrained in his memory, and Talia was always lurking in the backdrop of his thoughts. Until he left Denerim, he had not realized just how thoroughly she had infiltrated into his life. He found almost everything during the day somehow reminded him of her, and his dreams at night were filled with her eyes, her voice, her smile.

Now that he had hope that Rendorn would pull through, he could examine his father's demand more calmly. Dane did not know what he would have done if his brother died, and his father tried to force him to marry Linsey. He understood more clearly now and had a little bit more of an appreciation for the situation the king must have found himself in all those months ago in having to choose between Talia and his duty. Dane could not image the pressure that would have been brought to bear on the man. For the first time, Dane actually felt some sympathy for the king and the choice he had been forced to make.

A.N.: I cannot express my appreciation enough to my two wonderful betas, melismo and ladyamesindy. They keep me in line and ensure that my stories make sense. I would be a much poorer writer without their guidance.

Thanks also to those that review, including: Windchime68, mousestalker, Liso66, Castiana, Shakespira, Arsinoe de Blassenville, ladyamesindy, celtic-twinkie, bioncafemme, roxfox1962, ashelynco, zeejit, Eva Galana, Nithu, and wisecracknmama. I can't thank you all enough for your kind words and support.