Chapter Ten
"Did you finalize all the arrangements for the florist?" Sybil asked Mary.
The two were seated in the library at Downton, going over the final wedding checklist. It was the Thursday before the wedding, which was to be held on the grounds Saturday afternoon. Sybil and Mary had decided it would be best to arrive a few days early in order to oversee the final preparations and setup on Friday. The rehearsal was Friday night, but Sybil had also requested that all members of wedding party arrive on Thursday. Tom would be staying in the village with his family on Friday, but the rest of the party would be staying at the abbey. To Mary's dismay, this included Matthew and, by extension, Lavinia.
"Yes, the florist will be here on Saturday morning with the centerpieces, bouquets, etcetera," Mary replied, her eyes running down the list. "Tom's parents are coming in tomorrow morning?"
"Yes, they'll leave London around ten-thirty and be here close to noon," Sybil said. "Mama said she found rooms for all the guests staying here."
"Oh, good," Mary said unenthusiastically, her thoughts drifting to Matthew again.
"I don't know why you try to pretend that being around Matthew doesn't bother you," Edith said. She had been seated at the writing desk, apparently not paying attention to the conversation until that moment.
"Perhaps I was speaking about you," Mary said, cross that Edith had understood her tone. Edith rolled her eyes, turning back to what she was working on.
"I could ask him to stay in the village," Sybil said in an undertone.
"There's no need," Mary said. "It's not a problem. I'm just tired-it was a long train ride."
Edith scoffed, causing Mary to frown.
"I've been working you to death," Sybil replied apologetically, covering Mary's hand with her own. "Why don't you let me take care of this and you go lie down for a bit before the others get here." Mary nodded, grateful for the chance to be alone for a while.
She left the library and made her way across the entrance hall. As she headed toward the staircase, she heard someone ring the bell. She looked at her watch, noticing it was barely noon. The bell rang again and since no one was rushing to answer it, Mary sighed and walked to the front door. She pulled it open, her eyes widening slightly.
"Matthew," she said in surprise.
He smiled slightly, adjusting the strap of his bag as he looked at her. "Sorry I'm a bit early," he said, looking nervous. Mary noticed he was alone.
"Don't apologize," she said, motioning for him to come inside. "Where's Lavinia?" she asked as she shut the door.
"She's, um, visiting her parents up in Manchester for a few days. She'll be here on Saturday," he said, chewing on his bottom lip.
"Oh, how nice," Mary said, clasping her hands together as they stood awkwardly by the door. "Well, I'm afraid we're quite a feminine party at the moment. Sybil and Edith are in the library, but I think Mama and Papa are in the village with Granny. I was actually about to take a nap, but I can show you to your room if you'd like."
"Please, don't go to any trouble on my account," Matthew said, reaching out to touch Mary's arm. "I think I remember the place well enough."
She pressed her lips together, trying not to smile. "Well, I would hope so," she said, stepping away from him. "I think Mama put you in your old dressing room, if you remember where it is."
"Vaguely," he replied, his ears reddening. Both of them tried not to think about how Robert used to insist on Matthew having his own room when he and Mary visited, but somehow Matthew always ended up in Mary's bed.
"First floor, fifth door on your right," she reminded him, blushing slightly. Matthew nodded and Mary smiled again before heading toward the staircase.
"Mary?" Matthew asked as she ascended the steps.
She turned to look at him. "Yes?" she asked nervously. Something in his voice made her heart jump.
"I'm so glad I'm here," he said.
She smiled stiffly. "I'll see you at tea," she replied before walking up the stairs and heading for her room.
Once she was alone, she leaned her back against the closed door, resting her head against the wood as she tried to steady her breathing.
Why had Matthew had come without Lavinia? Why had he arrived so much earlier than the others, even before Tom? Why had he said those words to her?
These questions ran through her mind as she crossed the room to her bed, settling herself on the corner of the mattress. Her thoughts wandering to all those times Matthew had visited Downton with her.
"Do you think your parents will mind?" Matthew asked as Mary scooted toward him, resting her head on his chest. She smiled, turning her head to press her lips against his neck.
"That you failed to sleep in your own bed last night? Why ever would they mind?" she asked sarcastically, brushing her nose against his cheek.
"It seemed more like a suggestion rather than an absolute rule," he said with a laugh, wrapping his arms around her. Mary settled more firmly against him, enjoying the warmth of his skin on hers.
"Oh, trust me, it wasn't a suggestion," she replied, grinning at him. He laughed, causing a questioning look to appear on Mary's face.
"I'm sorry, it still seems odd to be found in your bed," Matthew said, pressing his lips against her forehead.
"But very nice," she said playfully.
"Oh, as nice as nice can be," he replied, brushing his fingers against Mary's cheek. She grinned, leaning up to kiss him slowly. Matthew's breath was hot and sweet, his fingers pressing more firmly against her skin, trailing down her arm. She pulled away, pressing her lips to his cheek before cuddling up against him again.
"I must warn you that Papa may kill you," she said, unable to keep a straight face. Matthew laughed and she smiled.
"Then you must protect me, my darling," he said softly, pressing his lips against her ear. She smiled, enjoying the sensation of his touch.
"I'll see what I can do," she replied.
Matthew grinned before kissing her again.
"I love you, Mary," he said, his lips brushing against hers as he spoke.
Mary blushed. She still wasn't used to hearing him say those words.
"I know you do," she answered, moving her fingers across his chest.
"Mary," he moaned with mock annoyance. She pulled him against her, brushing her fingers through his hair.
"I love you, Matthew Crawley," she said finally. Matthew grinned again before pressing his body against her skin, his lips finding hers once again.
Pulling herself out of her daydream, Mary stood and crossed to her bedroom window. She gripped the moulding around the window as she took sharp, but controlled, breaths. Her head was swimming with memories of Matthew. She could almost feel the pressure of his lips on hers and taste his kisses.
In spite of the fact that she was alone, she swore under her breath. She wondered if Matthew was having as much trouble being back at Downton as she was.
Mary went down for tea only when she heard the sound of raucous voices echoing from the library.
She hadn't even attempted to sleep, but had curled up in her chair and tried to finish her writing sample for a freelance magazine. She doubted it would be accepted, but after Matthew had completed the story of Lavinia's uncle and Richard for her, she had spoken to Richard about it.
"Can I talk to you?" she asked. It was Monday morning and she'd pushed into Richard's office to find out the truth.
"What is it?" he asked, noticing the determination in her face. Mary shut the door behind her, walking over to sit in the chair in front of Richard's desk.
"What happened with Lavinia's uncle?" she asked.
Richard opened his mouth, but shut it immediately, narrowing his eyes. "I told you what happened," he said. "Mr. Swire got in trouble at university. I turned him in."
"What did he do?" Mary asked, folding her hands in her lap, an envelope under her hands.
"They found answers to an exam under his bed-I found them," he corrected himself. "I was looking for his sport kit and I found them."
Mary noticed the hint of hesitation, the momentary shift of his gaze away from her.
"You put them there, didn't you?" she asked.
"Who told you that?" he questioned her.
"It's not important," she replied.
"Was it Matthew Crawley?" Richard ask, his jaw clenched.
"I just want to know the truth," she said.
"Why? So you can break it off with me? You've pretty much already done that by never answering my calls," he replied.
Mary forced herself to not roll her eyes. She steadied her gaze at Richard. "I need to know who I'm working for," was her response. "Are you a man of integrity?"
"You already think I'm not, so why does it matter?" he asked.
She didn't reply, only continued to look at him, waiting for an answer.
Richard stared back at her for a few moments before responding. "I put the answers under his bed," he said, his face impassive.
"Thank you," she said, getting to her feet. She handed him the envelope. "Please accept this letter as my resignation. I'm so grateful for every opportunity I've been given here," she said graciously.
Richard stared at her, disbelief on his face. "All of this because I cheated on a test and blamed my roommate? You don't even know him."
"But I know the man I've been working for," she replied.
He ground his teeth together, his face reddening in anger. "You can't be serious," he said.
"I'm sorry, Richard," she replied. "Please, let's be civil about this. It's not the first time a junior editor has left the magazine."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "I'll have my secretary mail a recommendation to your flat," he replied, his voice stiff. Mary nodded and turned to leave the office.
"I loved you, you know. More than you knew," he said. She faced him again, blinking in response to his admission.
"Then I hope the next woman you love deserves you more than I did," she said honestly. He was not the man she felt regrets about. "Goodbye, Richard."
"Mary, there you are!" Sybil said, leaving her seat beside Tom to greet her sister as she entered the library. "I thought I might have to check on you."
"Don't worry about me," she said, observing the other inhabitants of the room.
Most of the party was seated around the hearth. Matthew's eyes met hers and Mary looked away.
"I smelled fresh scones," she added, walking over to the tea table.
"Mama said she and Papa would be home soon," Sybil said, walking over to the table with Mary. "Granny's coming with Dr. Clarkson and Isobel."
Mary looked up from the teapot she was holding over an empty cup, glancing over to meet Matthew's eyes. He blushed and glanced away momentarily.
"Isobel's coming?" she asked Sybil, forcing her voice to be even and only moderately surprised. Matthew's MOTHER is coming? Her brain screamed at Sybil.
"Yes, she's so fond of Tom, you know," Sybil said.
"How splendid," Mary said, forcing a smile as she brought the teacup to her lips. "I haven't seen Isobel in such a long time."
Sybil smiled, unaware of Mary's internal panic. She gave her sister's arm a squeeze before returning to her fiance.
Mary busied herself for a few moments with the scones, deliberately taking her time with spreading the clotted cream and jam on the two halves of her scone.
Tom's brother Kieran approached the table, refilling his own cup of tea, his eyes on Mary.
"I could watch you do that all day," he said, bumping his elbow lightly against Mary's.
"Oh, God," she replied, shifting away from him. "Don't you have someone else to make uncomfortable?"
"I've already made the rounds, sweetheart. You're the only one left," Kieran said.
Mary wrinkled her nose. "Lucky me," she said moving away from the table.
"Hey, how about you let me have the first two dances with you at the rehearsal dinner?" he asked, following her.
"I thought you were going to dance the first two with me, isn't that what you said?" Matthew asked, appearing at Mary's side.
"Did I?" Mark asked with confusion. She understood the knowing look in Matthew's eye. "Yes, I think I did."
Kieran looked glum, but noticed that Matthew had commandeered Mary's attention. He shuffled off to talk to Gwen.
"Thank you for intervening back there before I said something rude," she told Matthew. He smiled at her.
"Kieran does rather beg to be teased," Matthew said, rather pleased with himself. He poured himself another cup of tea, glancing at Mary. "Sybil told you Mother's coming?"
"Yes," Mary said, forcing herself to take a drink of her own tea. "It will be lovely to see her again. It's been so long."
"She's excited to see you," Matthew said. Mary doubted that very much, but she only smiled in response.
"Did you have a nice nap?" he asked, running his finger over the brim of his cup.
Mary absentmindedly watched him do this, her heart thudding loudly in her ears, drowning out the laughter of the others.
"Yes, thank you," she lied.
"I'm surprised Richard let you have so much time off for the wedding," he said, clenching his jaw. He obviously hadn't gotten over their argument about Richard.
Mary met his eyes, feeling as though they were examining her thoughts. She blushed, but Matthew misinterpreted it. He furrowed his brows with vexation, dropping Mary's gaze.
"Matthew, I, um," she stammered, her fingers shaking as she struggled to hold her cup. "I don't work at the magazine any more."
Matthew looked over at her, astonishment on his face.
"I thought it would be best to do some freelance work for a while. Maybe travel abroad," she said, swallowing as she looked into his eyes.
"What happened?" he asked.
"I just needed a change," she replied slowly. "Four years in one place is a long time."
"Where would you go?" he asked. His voice was careful, but Mary saw emotion in his eyes. She was confused by this sudden change.
"I might go visit Grandmama in the States," she said. "She lives in New York City."
"Yes, I remember," he said, watching her intensely. "This is very sudden."
Mary looked back at him. She wanted him to tell her not to go.
"Nothing's been decided yet," she said. "It was just an idea I had. I thought it might be nice to get away for a while."
Matthew looked down, as though he understood what was hidden behind her words. Mary pressed her lips together, glancing over at the library door as her father walked in, followed by Cora, Violet, Richard Clarkson, and Isobel.
"Sorry we're late," Robert said, leaning over the back of the couch to kiss the top of Sybil's head.
"Just blame me," Isobel said with a smile. "Dr. Clarkson was showing me his new garden."
"We do," Violet said shortly, walking over to sit in an empty chair.
"Mother, how wonderful," Matthew said, leaving Mary to give his mother a kiss on the cheek. Isobel smiled at her son, glancing over at Mary. "You remember everyone?" he asked her.
"Of course," she said, smiling around the room.
Her eyes settled on Mary, whose mouth had gone dry. Unexpectedly, Isobel crossed the room, approaching Mary.
"Mary, it's so lovely to see you," Isobel said, taking Mary's hands in her own.
Mary smiled in surprise
"Yes, it's been quite a long time," she said.
Isobel gave her hand a gentle squeeze of friendship. "Much too long," she said warmly. "We must catch up. I want to hear about your job at the magazine."
Mary's smile faltered, but Isobel didn't seem to notice. But Matthew had watched Mary's face fall. He walked over to them, steering his mother away from Mary, distracting her with some wedding detail Sybil had apparently mentioned to him earlier. As Matthew walked away, he glanced back at Mary. She blinked in confusion, her heart leaping with something she hadn't felt for a long time. Hope.
[Thanks for reading! I decided to post this now because I have no self-control and I couldn't wait for all of you to read it. Within memories, Downton quotes are unitalicized and are italicized in "real time". Feel free to contact me on Tumblr if you have any questions about anything, my url is marauding-lupin. Please review! xoxo]