Title: One Step Forward...?

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Warnings: Contains the most precious individual in the world. Also, conspiracy theories.

Characters: Damian Wayne, Stephanie Brown, Tim Drake, Jason Todd, Cassandra Cain, Dick Grayson, Barbara Gordon, Bruce Wayne (mentioned), Alfred Pennyworth (mentioned), Ra's al Ghul (mentioned).

Summary: Imagine that Damian goes to a regular school full time. And has to do things that normal grade-schoolers have to do. Like write a letter Santa. Things sort of spiral from there.

Note: This was inspired by the amazing I Saw Grayson Kissing Santa Claus by pupeez4eva. That story is tiers above this – go read it. You have to. It's marvelous.

Also, I'm aware that, canonically, Damian has probably been educated about holidays and traditions around the world – Ra's and Talia would allow nothing less – but exaggerating Damian's lack of awareness is comedy gold.

Steph cocked an eyebrow at the way Tim grinned at her.

"I know I'm amazing, but you don't have to assault me the second I step through the front door."

He rolled his eyes. "You need to head down to the Cave and find out what Damian's doing. Cass, Jason, and I have been ordered to keep Dick, Bruce, and Alfred away until Damian's done with… whatever it is he's doing down there. I have no idea. He basically lectured us on the evils of Santa Claus and then mentioned something about justice before stalking to the Cave. It was like listening to B actually."

Steph grinned. "You actually listened?"

Tim scoffed. "Only for the prank."

She nudged his ribs playfully. "And you didn't want to be a part of it at first."

"I told you that you should have led with that. I never actually thought I'd have to say that Jason knows how to convince me to listen better than you do."

She stuck her tongue out, shrugging his arm off of her shoulders. "Yeah, yeah. I'm going to go see what he's up to. I'll report back."

She saluted, laughing while she strode to the Cave.

(What's he doing now?)

"Dami?" she called, smiling when she saw him sitting at the computer.

He didn't turn to greet her, not that she was expecting him to.

"What's up?" she asked, leaning on the back of the chair and staring down at him.

"Brown, are you aware of the fact that the Watchtower doesn't have a Death Ray?"

Choking on air was not a pleasant experience. Granted, it was more pleasant than actually being choked, but still. Overall, unpleasant.

"Why would it have a Death Ray?!"

He scowled at her over his shoulder. "Emergencies, Brown. Obviously."

"What sort of emergency would warrant the use of a Death Ray?"

"This!" he said, pointing at the screen.

She massaged her temples. This was supposed to be funny, not stressful. "Okay. Start from the beginning."

He wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms. "I've been trying to locate Santa Claus' base at the North Pole, but I am unable to. That means his technology is so advanced that our system is unable to find even a trace of his cloaking tech! Given the fact that it's impossible to obtain his exact coordinates, it has become necessary to resort to other measures."

"And those other measures," Steph said, "include a Death Ray?"

"Yes."

Steph stared at him blankly. "That… okay. No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"No!"

He sighed heavily – like he was the one having to deal with someone trying to destroy the North Pole.

"We would modify the settings of the Death Ray, Brown. It would be similar to an industrial sized Stun Ray. It would render Claus immobile wherever he is, allowing us time to scour the North Pole for the location of his base, render his tech inert, and take him into custody – all before he regains consciousness."

(Industrial sized Stun Ray?)

She was torn between laughing and feeling utterly horrified. Not fun.

"Where would you even get a Death Ray to modify?

Damian shifted slightly. "I was going to contact my grandfather. I'm sure he's capable of procuring one for me. At the very least, Santa Claus also appears to be immortal. It makes sense to ask Grandfather if he knows of his whereabouts."

Damian was ruining this prank. That wasn't fair.

"Damian. You can't contact Ra's al Ghul to ask for Santa's location."

"Why not, Brown? It's for the good of all man-kind!"

"I- no. Hold on. Okay. Just… wait."

"For what?" he snapped.

"Backup!"

Steph was only a little bit surprised to find that all three of her cohorts had ganged up on Dick to prevent him from getting into the Cave. Dick looked puzzled and amused, but didn't seem to be giving up. Jason looked about 10 seconds from tackling him.

"Uh, Steph, a little help here?" Dick asked, backing up from Jason slightly. "I think there might be mind control involved."

Tim snorted, but Steph couldn't bring herself to find it funny.

"Yeah, okay. Guys, mission aborted."

Dick blinked, confusion obvious. "What?"

"Yeah," Jason said, turning to her with his hands on his hips. "What he said."

"Well, see, it was going to be funny, and we were going to let the prank last until Christmas, but now we have to end it and make Dick convince Damian that asking Ra's al Ghul for a Death Ray is a bad idea."

Cass cocked her head.

"Are you serious?"

"That's a joke right?"

"What is going on here?"

Steph turned to Dick, cringing slightly. She wasn't going to enjoy this.

"Well, you see, the 4 of us-"

"No way. This is on you."

"Jason, you were almost as excited about this as Tim!"

"That's right, let's blame it on Tim."

"Actually," she mused, "that's a great idea."

"Hey! If it's anyone's fault, it's Damian's. Back me up, Cass."

"Steph."

"Cass! You're my best friend! You're not supposed to blame me!"

"Okay! I feel like there's probably enough blame for all of you to share, but maybe we can get back to the part where Damian's trying to talk to his grandfather about getting a Death Ray?"

Steph smiled, sheepishly. "Right. Okay, so, basically, Damian thinks that Santa Claus is evil and also has mind control powers and he wants to arrest him, but he can't find him at the North Pole and he figures that his only options are to ask Ra's if he knows Santa's location or if he can get him a Death Ray so that we can modify it into a Stun Ray – and I think he wants to attach it to the Watchtower and use it to cover the entire North Pole and then go on an expedition to find Santa before he regains consciousness?"

"I… this would be funny if he wasn't trying to contact Ra's," Tim said faintly.

Jason was choking on air; she was glad she wasn't the only one who did it.

Cass looked like she was about to escape, which seemed like a pretty good plan. Still.

(Traitor.)

Dick took a deep breath; they all looked at him.

"Steph."

"I know, I know! But it was just a prank. It wasn't supposed to go this far!"

He snorted, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Wasn't supposed to- ha! This is Damian, Steph! How did you think this was going to go?"

She gaped. "Okay. Fair point."

Dick threw his hands up in the air. "You know what – we're not done here. The four of you should have known better. But, right now, I have to go and convince him that this is a bad idea! And you're all coming with me."

"But-"

"Nope! You're coming. Let's go."

Steph cringed along with the others, but there wasn't any arguing with Dick when he got this way.

She sighed.

(It was supposed to be funny.)

"Damian?"

Damian frowned as he turned around. Brown had brought all of them. And Grayson.

"Brown! Why did you let him come?" he hissed.

She couldn't even bring backup without ruining the operation.

(Unless she managed to convince him.)

"Actually, Dami-"

"Did you tell him the truth? And he believed you?" Damian wasn't smiling – of course not – but it was a close thing.

He was relieved – understandably so. It was hard enough not being able to tell his father and Pennyworth about the situation, but leaving out Grayson as well?

It had been difficult.

"Well, it's not-"

"Good. Now we can move on. I've decided that asking for Claus' location first is the best course of action. And I don't see why Grandfather wouldn't know. But, in case he doesn't-"

"Damian!"

Damian frowned at his eldest brother, eyeing the others carefully. They were all standing behind Grayson, avoiding eye contact.

(No.)

"Damian," Grayson began softly. "There's no need to contact Ra's. Santa isn't bad, Damian. He's actually a good-"

"I can't believe this!" Damian shouted, standing from his seat and glaring at them. "You told him? Brown, you were the one who told me not to mention anything to him!"

She winced and smiled weakly. "Yeah, but… he's actually right, Damian."

His eyes widened, and he took a step back. "He has you back under his thrall!"

"What? No-"

"Damian, that is not what's happening here."

"Shut up, Grayson. That's exactly what's going on. But why?"

"No, Damian, it was a prank," Brown said.

The other nodded along stiffly. Damian grit his teeth.

"Listen, Little D. They were being idiots and playing a joke on you. Sort of. Santa isn't evil, all right? He brings people presents and doesn't have any mind control or cloaking abilities."

Damian narrowed his eyes. He wasn't sure what he should do. He had managed to convince them of the truth only for them to fall back under Claus' control. Yet, there was no memory loss or relapse; they still acknowledged that he had convinced them and were now making excuses for why they had believed him.

This was the most sophisticated mind-control technique he had ever encountered.

He had no idea how to beat it.

And he had no idea why they had suddenly fallen under Claus' control again.

Could it have been a defense mechanism? Maybe…

(I'm getting close!)

Damian snarled. "He's increasing his hold on you because I'm getting close, isn't he?

"What? No!"

Grayson looked shocked – overly shocked. As though he were trying to convince Damian that his conclusions were off the mark. And the others were making odd, strangled sounds, like they couldn't process what was happening. Their reactions only served to further convince Damian of the accuracy of his assessment.

"Listen to me, Damian, you are not getting close. At all. Contacting Ra's will not help you find Santa!"

"You know, Dick," Drake began, "you sound really suspicious."

"Shut up, Tim! You're so not helping!"

Damian eyed them curiously, unsure how to proceed. He was obviously right – and Drake was playing to his natural paranoia in order to throw him off the scent. Clever. But Damian was much too intelligent for Santa Claus.

The best course of action would be to feign reluctant acceptance and retreat to his room where he could think things through without interruption.

(How can I do it without raising their suspicions?)

"Dami, look," Grayson pleaded. "Just… don't contact your grandfather. And let the whole evil Santa thing, go, okay? Santa's great! He gives presents and he's not creepy or trying to take over the world or anything, I promise. You trust me, right?"

Damian suppressed a smirk. Santa was playing right into his hands.

He forced a scowl. "Yes, Grayson, I trust you. But-"

"Then trust that I would never tell you anything that could hurt you."

Damian stared at Grayson, then nodded. "… Very well, Grayson. You had better not be wrong."

He smiled, relieved. "I'm not. Promise."

Damian sniffed, nodding shortly and stalking out of the Cave.

"I can't believe that worked," Todd muttered.

"Of course it did," Brown rejoined. "It's Dick."

Damian smiled grimly as he walked to his room.

Santa Claus was an idiot if he thought that he had managed to fool him. But Damian wouldn't fall for his manipulations. He was going to bring Santa Claus down one way or another. And he was going to make him pay for brainwashing his family.

And for trying to use Grayson against him.

When Damian got finished with Claus, the man would be wishing that Damian had simply decided to use a Death Ray to take him out.

Damian sat at his desk, his notebook laid out in front of him. He needed to organize his thoughts. He no longer had any allies in the house, and it wasn't worth the hassle to converting anyone over to his side again; that would only serve to tip them off, and likely push Claus into making them keep a closer eye on him.

That wouldn't do.

He had to look at this from a different angle.

Damian grabbed his pencil, tapping the paper idly.

He could still contact his grandfather – not for the Death-Ray-Turned-Stun-Ray, but for Claus' location. It might be a fruitful endeavor, considering the mere suggestion had made Claus panic enough to resort to active mind control, but…

What if he was wrong?

What if his grandfather did indeed trust Claus?

It was possible. His grandfather had been alive for centuries, and Claus had been around for even longer. What if, when his grandfather was a child, Claus had delivered gifts to him? Then his grandfather could be under Claus' control.

But that wouldn't explain why Claus hadn't delivered gifts to Damian when he had still been with the League of Assassins. Unless, of course, his grandfather and Claus were in league together.

But then Damian would have heard of him by now, surely!

"Ugh!"

(This is giving me a headache.)

Okay, no contacting his grandfather – the whole thing was too complicated for him to sort out.

He just needed to write down the facts and go from there:

- Santa Claus is evil and needs to be stopped

- My allies have once again been lost to Claus' thrall

- Claus thinks that I have given up on my pursuit of him

- My grandfather is an unknown variable

- I do not have the capabilities to locate Claus on my own

- I need to locate Claus in order to move forward with my plan to capture and detain him

Damian set down his pencil and furrowed his brow. Currently, his most pressing problem was locating Santa Claus. But he didn't know how to get past his cloaking tech. As much as it pained him to admit it, he wasn't skilled enough to find Claus' base with just a general location.

Drake could probably do it, but there was no chance of securing his assistance now. And if he were to ask for advice on how to go about doing it on his own, his true plan would be discovered; Drake and the others were likely still on high alert.

But, there was someone else he could ask. Someone who wouldn't suspect his true intentions and report back to Santa Claus.

Damian smirked and grabbed his cellphone.

(Thank goodness Grayson decided to preprogram my speed-dial.)

"Hello? Damian?"

He grinned, leaning back in his chair. "Gordon. I require your expertise."

The silence on the other end was unnerving. Had Santa Claus set all of his agents on alert?

"What can I do for you, Damian?" Gordon responded, her voice dry, but not distrustful.

His shoulders relaxed at her obvious ignorance. Waging a one-man war against an immortal, serial-criminal with mind control powers was more stressful than he had anticipated.

"You're skilled with computers, Gordon; I'd like for you to teach me how to locate someone. I have their general location, but I need to know how to find their exact coordinates when they're in possession of an advanced cloaking system."

"A cloaking system? Did Tim already try?"

"No. This is something I'm doing without the others' knowledge."

He wondered if that was saying too much.

"The others don't know? You haven't told them? Not even Dick or Bruce?"

"No."

"But you're calling me?"

Her incredulity wasn't unfounded, but it still made him groan. He didn't have time for this.

"Yes, Gordon. And I would appreciate your discretion."

"…Right. Well, cloaking systems normally give off a distinct energy signature. Not that I'm saying that the signature is the same for all cloaking systems, but it's distinctive enough that if you're looking for it, it'll show up as a discrepancy or irregularity."

"And if it's so advanced that it doesn't give off such a signature?"

"Well, if it's not showing up at all, it's more than likely that there isn't a cloaking device in the area you're looking at. Did you already try this out? Maybe you have the wrong location."

"Tt," Damian gritted his teeth. "Of course. Call back if you're capable of giving any useful advice, Gordon."

Damian hung up and glared at his phone in distaste. He should have expected Claus to have safeguards in place to prevent anyone from giving out information that could lead to the discovery of his compound in the North Pole.

He banged his fist on the table.

Santa Claus was five steps ahead of him; he had no idea how he was supposed to find him. But Damian wasn't going to give up.

By the time Christmas rolled around, Damian would have Santa Claus in his custody. He wouldn't settle for anything less.

Claus wasn't going to spend another year committing crimes with impunity.

Damian wouldn't allow it.

Dick stared blankly at his phone.

"You all right, Dickiebird?" Jason asked, cocking an eyebrow at him. "You look like you just got a call from Damian's school or something."

Tim peered at him over his coffee mug. "That's a disturbingly accurate description."

Dick's expression didn't change when he looked at them. He wasn't sure he had it in him to bother with expressions right now.

"That was Barbara. She was calling to tell me that she just got off the phone with Damian. Apparently, he wants to know how to find someone if he has their general location, but their actual base is hidden by a cloaking device. And he doesn't want any of us to know what he's up to. That's not suspicious at all, right."

Tim had the decency the look sheepish. Jason just snorted.

"Honestly, I'm not even surprised it didn't work. He was pretty adamant about the whole Santa thing."

"No thanks to you!"

(Oh, look. I still have the energy to raise my voice.)

"We didn't think he would try to call Ra's, Dick."

Dick sighed, rubbing his forehead. "It's not about Ra's, Tim. …Okay. It's a little bit about Ra's. But it's mostly about the fact that Damian is a little kid and he's never actually had a real Christmas and you guys let him think Santa was evil when he came to you about it! You could have told him the truth and he might have believed you if you hadn't entertained him. Now it's too late!"

"Hey!" Jason said, frowning. "Blame Steph for that. We only got on board after."

Dick looked at him. "You guys need to be more responsible with him! I'm not going to stop you from messing with – I couldn't even if I wanted. But it's Christmas! He doesn't need bad memories of Christmas, you guys!"

Tim winced slightly. "Yeah, we know."

Tim elbowed Jason when he opened his mouth.

"Babybird's right. We'll make sure not to let him entertain any more fantasies about mythological creatures being evil and trying to take over the world. Promise."

He groaned. That was probably the best he was going to get from them.

"So," Tim asked. "What are you going to do? I mean, he obviously didn't believe you if that phone call's anything to go by."

"Nothing. At least not right now. I'll make sure he doesn't contact Ra's, but I don't honestly think there's anything else I can do."

Jason nodded solemnly. "Makes sense. But, you know, since he's not giving up on this… we're definitely going to enjoy it. I mean, this is going to be hilarious."

Tim smothered a laugh. "Absolutely. Uh, I mean… we're not going to encourage him or anything."

"And we won't let him contact anyone dangerous," Jason affirmed.

"But we're totally going to enjoy this."

Dick rolled his eyes and walked out of the room. Maybe if he ignored them, they'd become more responsible brothers. It was unlikely, but talking to them obviously didn't help.

He stopped at Cass's room on the way to his own. He knocked on the door frame, peeking his head into the room.

Cass and Steph turned to look at him.

"Shame on you both," he said, walking away.

"Sorry," Cass called.

He shook his head at Steph's laughter.

His family was ruining Christmas.

(This is so unfair.)