This story is really starting to pick up. As of right now, I have 1748 hits on my story. The first five or six chapters easily have over one-hundred each. I'd like to thank Yoshermon, TrueSapphire, and Captain Price for reviewing and everyone else who was generous enough to view this story. Thank you all! On a late note, I noticed that I've been starting to switch from lines separating parts of my story to dot, dot, dots. I think I'll go back and change my lines to dot, dot, dots. Just a preference, I suppose.
Ed, Edd n Eddy's Quest for the Pure Hearts
Ten: Chunks Ahoy!
"What was that?"
"A patrol!"
"Here?"
"I did not expect them to come this way!"
"What do we do?"
"Follow me Timpani; hurry!"
"Where are we going?"
"I don't know! Just run!"
For the kids, it was an unusual and awkward sensation, sliding down the pipe. It felt like a slide at a water park. Though it was made of very steep drops, inclines, and turns, the kids experienced no change of speed or discomfort on their ride through the pipe. The perpetual motion of the ride was actually kind of soothing.
The landing however, was not quite as smooth. The kids, who had no prior experience with warp pipes, were clueless as how to land when they were launched out of the pipe and smashed awkwardly into the sand.
"Oh my aching-" Eddy moaned, sitting up. He never got to finish, as Ed landed on his head not a second later.
"Pardon me, miss," Ed said to Eddy. "Oversized package coming through."
"Gee Ed; I never thought I'd see the day where you'd actually make fun of yourself." Eddy commented sourly.
"That happens every day, Eddy!" Ed laughed.
"Guys, look!" Mario shouted, peering off into the distance. There, just on the horizon, sat a large stone structure. The only possible thing that large to be found in the middle of the desert had to be the ruins and in the ruins would certainly lay a Pure Heart.
"I can sense the pure heart ever so strongly now!" Tippi told the group. "Certainly, it must be in those ruins!"
"Alright, nearly there!" Nazz exclaimed.
"How riveting," Double D commented. "We're so close! It gives me such joy!"
"Yah, yah; let's go!" Eddy said. "Maybe if we hurry, we can make it to Flipside in time for a late lunch at the diner!" Eddy began to dash for the ruins as a deep voice with a heavy irish accent stopped him.
"O', but I'm o'-fraid ye won' be getun' dah treasure 'dat easuhly, me' boy!"
The heroes went wide eyed. They turned their heads wildly and surveyed their landscape. Nowhere in sight was anyone but themselves; no carrier of the mysterious voice. Mario assumed a battle stance, and bravely proclaimed, "Show-a yourself; we're-a armed and o' not-a afraid of-a o' fight!"
"If yeh insist!" The sand about five feet in front of Eddy seemed to explode. The dust and rocks went flying to reveal a large, burly, man-like person. With orange skin, and bald head, and red beard; he almost appeared laughable. But what his facial features didn't account for was made up in strength.
The opponent's huge muscles intimidated the group. His red armored tunic looked as though it could protect him from every attack they could think of. To top it all off, he wore large metallic gloves with huge spikes which would make his blows all the more deadly. "I 'em know-un as duh general of deh ages. Feirce war-yer of Coun' Bleck's armeh! Minyon teh best all minyons! I am, O'Chunks!"
"O'Chunks? What kind of name is that!" Eddy exclaimed. "Ha! It really brings out the fat parts in him! HAHAHA!" As Eddy laughed, O'Chunks grew redfaced. He yelled at the tiny child.
"If yeh so much as disrespek meh of duh coun', I'yull chop yeh inteh haggas and serve yeh at a festival when I'm done wit yah!" Eddy shrank in his spot at O'Chunks reply, not even able to mutter an 'eep.' "Dat's better," said O'Chunks. "Scared and feeble like a... uh... can't quite t'ink of dah word... um..."
"Baby." Double D finished with a blank voice.
"'Ey! I wassa 'bout teh come up wit dat!" O'Chunks tried to explain. "Nex' time yeh just stay quiet or I'll- uh... um..."
"Not-a the smartest bulb-a in o' the box." Mario commented. "Classic minion, first-a to be-a sent, al-a-ways the weakest."
O'Chunks eyes grew narrow. His teeth clenched together with anger. Mario had most certainly struck a nerve. "Fine den! If yeh insis', on makin' deh fight worser for ye self, than who 'em I to stop yeh!" O'Chunks cracks his knuckles, and stopped his feet into the sand. "I-yull squash yeh guys so bad, yer own pappy couldn't recognize yeh."
That last sentence hit the cul-de-sac children hard. Their faces grew red, their hands clenchs, and pain ran through bodies. Now the fight had become personal. "Your terrible count killed our 'pappies'! Not to mention the rest of our family! And now, we will show you the error of your ways through brutal combat!" Double D yelled, loading his bow.
"If you think you're gonna get away with cold blood murder, than you've got another thing coming dude! I'm gonna make you wish you stayed in your little hide out!" Nazz retaliated as her right hand began to glow a shimmering blue.
"Hey Mr. Spray Tan Bodybuilder! Do you hink you can still count to two when you have a knife jammed into your neck? How's about we find out, shall we?" Eddy asked sarcastically, holding three knives between his fingers.
"Ed will crush you!" Ed shouted, weilding his axe above his head, like a psycho-killer. His eyes glinted with rage.
"Yeh really t'ink yah can bes' me in eh battle?" O'Chunks chuckled.
"With an opponent as laughable as you, anything is possible," Tippi replied sarcastically.
"So be it." O'Chunks nodded. "Have at yeh!" And with that, the large burly figure charged at his opponents. He had decent acceleration on his side, but he was sluggish and moved rather lethargically.
Double D fired an arrow at the oncoming man. O'Chunks' armor deflected it with ease and the burly man ran onward towards his prey. Eddy swung a knife at blocky figure, but it too bounced off his armor like a toy dart. O'Chunks sprinted at his rivals with great haste. At the last second, everyone dived out of the way, as the humanoid warrior blasted past them, his own momentum making him slip and fall.
"I ain't gettin' any hits!" Eddy complained.
"It's his armor. It's too powerful!" Double D reasoned. "Our weapons just cannot break through it!"
Noticing the foe was getting back on his feet, Mario called to his friends. "Just aim for his head." O'Chunks was now turning around, facing the party.
"I will do no such thing!" Double D argued.
Now O'Chunks was coming around for a second charge. Mario grew frantic. "Then aim for his legs!" Mario shouted, just as the burly man reached him. Mario dove forward and landed a kick square in O'Chunks gut. Bleck's minion heaved over in pain, as Mario gave him another blow; this time in his jaw.
O'Chunks staggered and fell backwards. Seizing his opportunity, Mario leapt up into the air, and dove down upon his foe; his elbow ready to give a deadly blow. However, O'Chunks recovered quicker than expected. He grabbed the Italian man just as he was inches from delivering yet another attack.
O'Chunks pounced upwards and began to spin, with Mario in hand. He twisted like a tornado, growing faster and faster, until he let the poor hero go, sending Mario flying across the sands, yelling, "AUGH!" O'Chunks took a moment to regain his footing, but it was one second too long however.
A wave of blue energy knocked the orange man backwards, with the force of three grown men. Dazed and confused, he saw the blue energy grab him like hand would, and the aura tossed him around like a ragdoll. O'Chunks slammed face down on the ground; confused and in pain. "Sorry about that, dude!" Nazz called the bulky enemy, in a voice which mimicked a whiny parent. "Does baby want a bottle?"
Noticing his attacker, O'Chunks pounced up and charged at Nazz with a blistering fury. Nazz screamed and ran as fast as she could, but snagged her foot on a lone branch in the sand, and tripped. She stood up and tried to run again, knowing her slip up had made her efforts worthless.
"Stay away from her!" Eddy yelled, aiming for O'Chunks' head with a knife. Eddy was close, but not close enough. He missed his target by a hair, but missed enough that no blood was drawn. "I'm coming Nazz!" Eddy yelled, but it was futile. He charged for the screaming blonde, trying to reach her before O'Chunks.
O'Chunks was closing in on Nazz. He raised his spiked fist, ready to bring down his revenge on the girl. Nazz closed her eyes and hoped by some miracle she'd live through the blow. But moments later, she felt no blow. She turned, and stared in surprise.
Ed had sprung forward at the last second, and broke the oncoming spikes with his axe. "And a valient hero I was in the battle of the oompa loompa vs. the Goonies." Ed said mindlessly. O'Chunks stared at his damaged gloved in awe. Next, he turned to anger. He swung around and stared at the dimwitted Ed.
"You! Yeh ruined me spikes yeh ratarded kindeergartener!" He swung his still intact glove at Ed and sent him flying.
Being Ed of course, he took only slight damage from the blow and the rough landing and happily announced, "Got me! I'm it!"
O'Chunks turned to resume the fight, but suddenly felt a searing pain in his leg. In shock, he looked down to discover a knife lodged in his lower thigh. "Looks good on yah!" Eddy called out with laugh. In his anger, O'Chunks violently grabbed the knife and threw it in no specific direction.
"'Ey! 'Ow's dis for an attack!" O'Chunks proceeded to violent pound on the ground with his muscular fists, venting his rage into the sands. His blows crashed so violently, it felt as though an earthquake was beginning. The party's legs collapsed from under them; the stress of the shaking was too great to bear.
"H-H-Hey T-Tinker-b-bell!" Eddy stuttered as his body shook in the chaos. "M-mind d-d-dusting off th-those pretty w-w-wings and doing s-something!"
Tippi flew towards O'Chunks, and began smashing herself into his face. The orange man stopped thrashing against the ground and began swatting at his face in annoyance. "'Ey! Cut it out, yeh rainbow flee! Dat itches! Blasted bug!" Now, he began to swat violently, attempting to crush the poor pixl like a common mosquito.
"Mario; now! Hurry!" Tippi shouted to her ally, trying to stall the powerful minion as long as she could.
"Hold-a on Tippi! I'm-a comin'!" Mario relayed. Regaining his footing, Mario broke into a sprint, trying to reach O'Chunks before he could do harm to Tippi. Mario stopped about five yards from O'Chunsk and Tippi. He shifted through his backpack as quick as he could, before pulling out a fire flower.
"Tippi! Get-a out-a o' here!" Mario commanded. Tippi took to the sky and flew as far away from O'Chunks as she could. Before O'Chunks has time to wonder what was occurring, Mario through the tulip at the man. The tulip burst into flames upon contact, creating a virtual tornado of fire. O'Chunks yelled and then fell to the ground in silence as the flames dimmed.
For a moment, everyone stared at the burned minion of Count Bleck. Questions buzzed through their heads likes swarms of locust. Was he dead? Did we win? Is he faking it? Did he know where the pure heart was? Can gravy be eaten with a fork? The one to break the long pause was Eddy.
"Yes! YES! Yeah baby!" Eddy cheered. "We showed that fat thug with spray tan who was boss!" Eddy skipped to O'Chunks and began to dance on the burned body. "Yes! Yeah! Party! Alright! We did it! We did it!" As he continued to dance, he failed to notice one of O'Chunks' arms was slowly moving. It was so suttle, it was already too late when the sluethy Double D noticed.
"Eddy, look out!" Double D shouted to his companion. But he was one second off, as O'Chunks snatched the small child and put him in a tight headlock, no doubt cutting off the boy's airway. Swiftly, O'Chunks grabbed the knife the thrown and placed it against the flailing boy's neck. Almost in unison, Double D loaded his bow and aimed for O'Chunks. "Let him go or I'll fire!" Double D yelled.
"Den I'll crush 'im as I falls o'ber dead." O'Chunks replied with a smirk. "Sorry, but dis be duh end of yer little fiasco. I'm gonna kill 'im, den I'm gonna kill deh rest 'ub yah. Yeh should see dah looks on yer faces; why it's-"
Nazz was no longer listening to the orange foes ramblings. She had formulated a plan to save Eddy. She concentrated on a spot behind O'Chunks and using Thoreau and began to use her mind to create a hand, made of energy. "Alright babe, take it to him!" Thoreau told Nazz. "Don't worry about that." Nazz whispered. "Let's hope he's as dumb as I think."
The aura hand silently floated behind O'Chunks. It hovered just above his shoulder. The rest of the heroes finally took notice to Nazz's power, but remained silent, trusting that Nazz was capable of saving Eddy. 'Here goes something.' Nazz thought to herself. The hand lightly tapped on O'Chunks' shoulder. In surprise O'Chunks turned around, only to recieve a blow to the face; dropping Eddy in the process.
O'Chunks double took, wondering what the heck had just happened. He rubbed his face, then opened his eyes to find Ed standing in front him. "Delivery for shmo with lots a payback." Using all his might, Ed slammed his axe the muscular man's chest. His armor saved him any regrettable injuries, but the pain was too much. O'Chunks passed out. "Grabaghly!" He yelled as he fainted.
O'Chunks woke up a while later. To his surprise, he found the heroes crowding around him in a circle. Each one was ready to strike an offensive at a moment's notice. The first thing O'Chunks felt was panic for his life, but that feeling was quickly replaced with disappointment for failing the count. He sighed. "I gib up." He groaned. "Yeh got skill. I'yull gib yeh dat. Who are yeh guys?"
"My name's Eddy! Don't wear it out!" Eddy bragged. "Only cool guy extraordinaire! Super cool, super strong, and leader of my own fan club! I sign autographs on weekends from twelve to four."
"Well, I'm Eddward." Double D said, trying to sound formal. "However, my friends call me Double D, hence the two 'D's in my name. I like reading, construction, helping others, and hygiene."
"I am Ed!" Ed yelled. "Quick and mighty beast destructor of China! Leaping forth on Dragons to gorge the eyes of the unwilling with lots of reality T.V. Yum!"
"It's Nazz, dude," Nazz told O'Chunks. "Oh yah! And I'm gonna make you pay for messing with my hair, destroying my home, and scaring the living snot out of me."
"Mario!" Mario said proudly. "Protector of-a the o' Mushroom Kingdom, and in-a this-a case, protector of o' all-a worlds, from-a you and-a your o' boss."
"Tippi," Tippi said softly. "The guider of the heroes from Pure Heart to Pure Heart."
O'Chunks, stupid as he was, processed all of these names slowly. "Hmm... Peg, Peggy, Double G, Nate, Maria, and Timmy, eh; Odd names, really." The group was dumbstruck by the obvious idiocy of the buff, orange man. Truly, it was all brawn and no brain to him.
"Pardon, but it's 'Double D.'" Double D corrected.
"It's Mario and Tippi! Not Maria and Timmy!" Tippi shouted.
"Our names are Ed and Eddy!" Eddy yelled with annoyance. "How is it possible to screw that up!"
"Yeh listen close, Maria!" O'Chunks argued. "I'yull be back soon! And I'yull be stronger den eber! Got dat?"
"Really," Eddy asked sarcastically. "How'll you be back if we kill you?"
O'Chunks grinned. He held up his wrist and revealed a green wrist watch. He pressed a button and out popped a holographic image display. The set image was dark, bleak setting which seemed to display a palace of sorts. "I'yull be see-en yah! Chunks AWAY!" He touched the image, and to everyone's surprise, disappeared in a burst of electricity.
Everyone jumped back, avoiding the trailing volts of energy. When he was gone, everyone was dumbfounded. "So? Where'd he go?" Eddy asked in shock. "What happened?"
"Isn't it-a obvious." Mario inquired. "He teleported back-a to-a home base."
"HE- COULD- GO- ALL- THE- WAY!" Ed yelled in response to 'home base.'
"Wrong sport, Ed," Double D corrected.
"Well, now what?" Nazz asked.
"I doubt we'll catch this O'Chunks now." Tippi surmised. "On to the ruins, I suppose."
...
The ruins of Yold Desert were quite impressive. A giant dragon head made of large, carved stone jutted from a ground. In its mouth appeared to be a hall passageway, leading underground. The group was speechless, unsure what to make of the menacing entrance which lay before them. "What's that?" Nazz asked, pointing to a sign beside the ruins. It was written in the script of the ancients.
"To thee whom enter, beware. For thou who are not one of thee heroes shall suffer an undesirable fate, as is your warning." Tippi translated. This comforted no one. With nothing left to stall for, the group took their first steps into the dark unknown.