Harry once more avoiding those around him. He saw the worried eyes of his friends, their sympathetic glances infuriated him. Both Hermione and Ron looked like they wanted to talk to him or at least shake him. But neither of them approached him out side class, but during lessons they would try to engage him in conversation, mainly about the lessons — from Hermione. From Ron about the coming Quidditch season. They obviously wanted to heal the breach, but Harry couldn't bring himself to make that step yet.
Neville and the twins snuck him food between lessons when he didn't appear in the hall for breakfast of lunch. They too looked like they too wanted to say something about his habits of avoiding meals, but they too gave him a wide berth. He ate the food dutifully knowing they were just worried about him. He often wondered what they would say if they knew how little he was allowed to eat in the summers. They would surely abandon him if they knew how much of a freak he was.
Every night while the rest of the students were eating their dinner a small serving of what was being served appeared next to him bed. With a small vial of nutrient potion and a note telling him to eat.
He knew the food and potion had come from the Potions Master, he just couldn't work out why. Snape had not approached him since that disastrous detention, he seemed to be going out of his way to avoid Harry. In Potions he had not sneered at Harrys disastrous attempt at a Soothing Elixir, nor did he banish the sluggish mixture when it had turned black instead of the light blue it was meant to be. Though he suspected it was more the fact that he had once again partnered with Malfoy, the blonde had managed to salvage it without alerting Snape...but still... If Snape wanted to pretend he hadn't seen what was in Harry's head and ignore him, then Harry wasn't going to complain. He was used to having it ignored. Better to pretend it never happened than deal with the fallout. He ate those too, knowing somehow that if he didn't Snape would know and then Snape might start to take another interest in his life again. He didn't think Snape would take his daily routine very well.
He had managed to sneak back into Gryffindor Tower before any of his house had awoken the morning he had awoken in Snapes quarters. No one seemed to have missed that he had not spent the night in the dorms. But then no one ever seemed to notice his night time wanderings. He spent his days going to his lessons, spending the time in between in the library and once he was sure his absence would go un noticed he would sneak up to the Astronomy Tower at night to calm him mind.
He was being watched during the day again. Everywhere he went he found teachers suddenly appearing around the corner. More often than not he could feel the eyes of some unknown persons watching him from the shadows. It was unsettling to have all this scrutiny. Even with having being subjected to it since returning to the Wizarding world he could never get used to it. He had to hold his masks firmly in place at all times. He had to be their perfect little saviour; and it was exhausting. His had discovered that they only seemed to stop once he had returned to the tower at night. He was glad none of the staff, save Dumbledore, knew about his cloak. His only peace came from his wonderings to the Astronomy tower.
He was tired from being awoken from the constant nightmares. It had been a week since his last Dreamless sleep potion and his body was aching for the purple potion that promised a peaceful rest. He didn't dare go to Snape. He knew the man would just sneer at him and want some other trade for it. He didn't want his head probed again, the invasion seemed to have moved memories best left forgotten in the forefront of his mind. He knew that Pomfrey would question him if he went to her. He knew he hadn't wanted her to look into his scars back in first year. But it hurt that she hadn't anyway. It just proved that adults did not care in the end. He wasn't meant to hurt, all they wanted to see from him was the Boy who Lived. And he did not get hurt by muggles, he had to be strong and perfect at all times.
He had to watch his reactions around everyone. He often found himself shrinking away from sudden movements and raised voices. If he wasn't more careful people were going to start questioning him again.
Professor McGonagall had given him a searching look in Transfiguration on Friday for such an occurrence. Harry had been engrossed in his text about turning his teapot into a tortoise, he had not heard he approach him. His hand had been gripping his wand too tightly as he practised the wand movements. He had been partnered with Hermione and her constant critiques about his attempts had put him in a foul mood, resulting in sparks from his beloved holly wand.
She hadn't mentioned the sparks after he had jumped when she addressed him. He stern eyes softening at the display she had witnessed, simply she informed the entire class to put their wands away and continue with reading the theory. She had continued to gaze at him like a wounded animal for the remainder of the class. When the bell tolled signalling the end of the lesson he had rushed out to escape her gaze. The following lesson the next week had been just as bad.
He wondered if Snape had told her, but he doubted the thought straight away. He doubted Mcgonagall could have let Snape knowing something about one of her Lions before her go unsaid. He had once contemplated going to her about his home life. But she had made it clear from first year that all the saw was the son of James Potter. His father had been strong and brave, he wouldn't have been weak in the face of muggles tormenting searching looks all week had shown him that he was being a disappointment to his fathers legacy. He had to look stronger, he had to be the Golden boy of Gryffindor.
DADA had been just as bad. Lupin seemed to pay more attention to Harry in lessons. He looked at Harry with barely contained sympathy and longing. Something about the man was familiar to Harry, like a long faded memory. Part of him wanted to ask his professor about the feeling but a bigger part of him told him to keep his distance. It drove him to insanity, he had a gut instinct to be wary of the Defence teachers, their track record cemented the feeling and he kept a healthy distance from Lupin.
Snapes looks of loathing and distrust he sent at Lupin in the corridors concerned him. Though he didn't trust his Potions Professor, the man had also distrusted Quirell and Lockhart, so Harry at least trusted his judgement on the DADA teachers. He normally caught the looks when Snape caught Lupin watching Harry. He often found himself pondering about this late at night as he lost himself in the swirling galaxy above him in the astronomy tower. He had yet to make sense of it but then he would scold himself for caring about what Snape did do; or why he did it.
Why should he care about the mans motives? Sure he had looked concerned when he had done that head thing, and when he had seen the scars. Sure he had let Harry snot all over him and true he didn't appear to have gloated to the Slytherins. But he hadn't acknowledged it after either. So Snape was just like every other adult. That shouldn't have come as such a surprise really. But no matter what he had told himself to not think about the detention his mind kept drifting back to it. There was just some nagging thought at the back of his mind he couldn't put his finger on.
Harry had discovered the day after his detention with Snape that students were no longer permitted to walk the grounds without a teacher. Apparently Sirius Black had been spotted not ten miles from the castle that morning. Now, just as last year a teacher escorted their classes between the castle and the subjects conducted outside. Even Quidditch practices had to be supervised and shepherded from the castle to the pitch.
Harry had been grateful to Wood that first practice that he had elected to talk strategy instead of running drills that first session. This decision had kept them in the castle and without a teacher hovering nearby. After feeling suffocated by the hovering professors since the return of school, he had needed one school activity free of their presence.
A week later on a dreary Thursday he wished they could have had another session like that. The chilling vibes of the Dementors could be felt around the pitch. He knew that they were not allowed on the grounds themselves, to Harry at least it felt like already were.
The screams in his head seemed to be more muffled as he flew though. He had always felt more free as he flew. It had come naturally to him, no one looked down on him for it and up in the air he was untouchable. He could feel the icy dread of the Dementors, treating to push him into the darkness of his memories. As he speed around the pitch his heart filling with the pure joy that came from the freedom he could ignore their pull.
Though he had been eating more regularly he still felt weak from the exhaustion he felt. He had been slow in his reflexes as he ducked and weaved through his teammates and the stands. Twice he had narrowly missed colliding with the ground as he pulled up from a dive. After the third time he decided it was best not to risk it.
A flash of gold caught his eyes as he shot up skyward, but as soon as he turned to try and pinpoint it again it was gone. His concentration wasn't in this practise and it was obvious to those who watching. Wood had snapped at him several times when he failed to catch the snitch right in front of his eyes. He was more content feeling the exhilaration of flight at the moment. He searched for the elusive gold ball from above the pitch. He was starting to tremble as he sat there on his broom. His joints hurt and muscles tensing from over use. It had been too long since he had used those particular ones. He had skipped lunch again and forgone the dinner next to his bed and he knew he was pushing his luck with it. Last thing he needed was to have Snape start sticking his nose into things again because Harry wasn't eating or taking his stupid potions.
Harry furrowed his eyes as he searched for the snitch. Wood had said that once Harry had caught the snitch this time practise would be over. With the fatigue he felt at the moment Harry just wanted this session to be over.
His eyes glanced at the entrance to the pitch something was moving in the shadows just out of sight. At first he thought it might be Hooch, but he had just seen her on the pitch berating Fred - or maybe George, for some dangerous stunt with the bludger. He didn't think any of the other professor would be down with them. They had been told at least that only Hooch would down with them as Wood was paranoid of their training methods being discovered.
No other students would have been able to get down without a teacher either. He frowned again. He was getting sick of the feeling of always being watched. There was some familiar sensation as he stared at the patch of shadows. He shook his head, he was surely imagining things.
He circled the pitch once more before shooting upwards. Higher and higher, where the air was colder, thinner and no one could touch him. It was getting colder as the autumn air was setting in enhancing the sensation of isolation. He paused in his assent and began searching for the Snitch once more. He could see each of his teammates bellow, to the east of the pitch he could see Hagrid tending his garden next to his Hut. In the distance he could see the yellowing of the trees in the forest and grounds most notably the orange tinge of the Weeping Willow on one of the rises towards the castle. He felt a morbid chill as he glanced towards it.
There beneath the still branches stood the same black dog he had now twice seen, once more watching him. It seemed ludicrous that a dog was watching him, dogs didn't follow strangers and they didn't watch quidditch. But this dog sat unmoving watching while Harry lulled in the air. So distracted with the dog he didn't hear his team calling out for him to move as a bludger headed straight for him. What alerted him was when the god stood and began barking at him desperately. Curious at what had changed the dogs demeanour he turned his head just in time. Harry felt what little he had in his stomach want to rebel as he rolled on his nimbus, narrowly being missed as the magical cannon ball colliding with him.
By time he had righted himself the dog was gone as though it was never there. That was the second time he had seen the grim and almost died. Maybe Ron was right and it was an omen for death. He let out a hollow chuckle if that was right he would have had that dog following him his entire life.
He heard the whistle from Hooch signalling the end of training, even though he hadn't caught the snitch. Just as well though he didn't fancy his chances at missing another bludger while distracted. He descended less gracefully than he would usual, still feeling fatigued despite the adrenaline from the near miss.
As his feet made contact with the ground he stumbled back as a bush of thick hair flung herself at him.
"You could have been hurt Harry!" Hermione cried at him. She looked pale as she shook with fear. Even though things were not fixed between them he felt his heart swim with the knowledge that she at least still cared about him. He offered he a sheepish smile in return, unable to voice his emotions at the moment.
He was saved from having too by Ron a second later. "Blimey Harry, call it close why don't you." The red head was beaming at his best mate. "Now those are Seeker reflexes." It was obvious that in his own way that Ron was trying to make the tension of the past few weeks disappear. Harry was only happy at the moment that his first two friends still cared.
He laughed with the rest of the team and ducked under the glare of the flying teacher. She was not happy with Harry foolishly putting his neck on the line more than it already was.
The trio sobered at that thought. He already had a mad man trying to kill him, he didn't need to make it any easier for Black. He waved his friends off at the change room as they waited for the team to clean up. He could see the Slytherin team being escorted to the pitch by Filch. He wondered why Snape wasn't escorting them.
As the team finished cleaning up and headed back to the castle, led by a grumpy Filch harry let his mind think on the dog and all that had happened since its first appearance. He nodded mutely as Ron and Hermione chatted aimlessly around him. It felt nice that they were excusing his odd behaviour in favour when they had seen him almost hurt. It made him feel cared for, like someone wasn't repulsed by his freakiness. He looked towards the willow as they passed its ridge. He wondered where the dog had disappeared to, if it was really there to begin with.
"Are you all right Harry?" Hermione roused him from his musings. "Are you still shaken from practise? Or are you thinking about Black? He can't get to you Harry." He knew she meant well with her questions and he didn't want to snap his frustration at her again. But surely didn't need to talk so loudly.
He did his best to refrain his temper as he watched his friends eyeing him cautiously. Hermione was nursing her arm, Ron seemed to have cut her questions off by elbowing her. This seemed to ebb him ire off, he didn't want to fight, neither did they — they just cared.
"I'm fine guys," at their sceptical looks he continued the easy lie that rolled off his tongue. "I was just thinking I haven't been to see Hedwig lately." He gave a sheepish grin to them. "Flying just reminded me of how much a neglectful owner I've been." For good measure he looked up to the Owlrey. "Might go up and check on her before curfew"
"We'll go with you mate," Ron volunteered. They had reached the castle and Filch after sending a scathing look at them all had left.
"It's kay," He grinned at them, forcing himself to look happier than he felt.
"You shouldn't be wondering the grounds by yourself Harry!" Hermione tried to plead with him.
"I'll be fine 'Mione!" Harry stressed. "The path is in full view of the castle, I will be fine. Besides after neglecting her Hedwig isn't going to be too happy. It'll be best if I sooth her by myself," he gave her a wink, trying to feign more ease and cheer that he felt.
She tried to get him to see reason, but Ron seeing how Harry's easy cheer was fading made her stop. The reluctantly left, but not before Hermione reminded him that he could get in trouble and if he wasn't back in the tower in half an hour she was going to McGonagall.
He started the trek to the tower, he hadn't really wanted to go there. But he knew his friends were watching which direction he was headed. All he wanted was to clear his head. He felt like he was loosing his mind again. Last year from hearing voices and this year from seeing things.
Okay last year it had been the Basilisk he had been hearing, but for the entire year his friends had thought him going crazy. How would they take him seeing things, especially a grim? Ron would freak with the superstition surrounding the omen and Hermione would rational it out, leaving Harry feeling as though he had lost it. They had only just started mending the gap Harry had made by losing his cool with them. Where Neville and the twins were great, Ron and Hermione had been his first friends. He didn't really want to loose them.
He hated walking to the Owlrey at night, the path was lined with trees casting shadows from the light from the castle. He hated shadows and the hidden dangers that lurked within them. They reminded him of his nightmares and he had enough of them when he slept he didn't need them while he was awake.
He could hear the crunching of dried and decaying leaves somewhere in their inky darkness. His teeth were on edge as he walked. What if Black did get into the grounds and here he was stupidly walking by himself in the dying light for no good reason. He knew his chances at surviving an encounter with the demented prisoner weren't going to be in his favour. He was only a small thirteen year old wizard, with little training on protecting himself.
Sure he had defeated Quirel-mort and gotten through the obstacles that Dumbledore and the staff had set. But he had had help from his friends, not to mention his mothers magical protection. Which he still didn't understand how worked?
And yes he had played the Basilisk but it had been Hermione that had worked out the secret of the chamber. Besides he was sure that the king of snakes had been weakened from years of only living of meagre meals of rodents. Harry knew how it felt to live of next to nothing. Not to mention it had been Fawkes that had blinded the beast and delivered him the sword of Gryffindor. He had just had sheer dumb luck there.
He knew no matter how much Sirius Black had been affected by Azkaban, he was still a fully grown wizard with years more experience on his side. The man had managed the impossible by escaping undetected from the island prison and evaded capture for over three months. Yes, Harry was under no illusion he would not be so lucky with an encounter with Black.
The shadows seemed to be stretching in front of him now. Harry could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He should just turn around and go back to the castle. His nerves were already frayed from the bludger incident and he didn't need this anxiety to add to his consistent nightmares. He heard a branch snap to his right and turned to face whatever threat it was. In the depths of the shadows glowing eyes stared out at him. Harry was frozen where he stood. The dog was real, and it was staring at him curiously. There was some long forgotten emotion in those silver eyes as Harry stared. He knew from years of listening to Aunt Marge that maintaining eye contact was important with handling dogs. It showed them 'who was boss' and that you weren't afraid. But from his experiences with dogs Harry was scared and all alone. His wand lay forgotten in his pocket in his fear.
Suddenly looking past Harry the dog started growling, teeth bared. Harry took an unconscious step backwards and managed to trip over some invisible force. He tumbled backwards and expected to hit the ground. But the impact did not come, instead he found himself being pulled back to vertical footing by a cold hand in his arm.
Taken aback by the contact he wretched himself away as if burnt. His eyes quickly flashing to where the dog had been ignoring whoever he had grabbed him. A snarling vicious dog seemed more important at the moments. Unsurprisingly he found it gone once more. Maybe he was loosing it?
"It amazes me Potter how you find such ease in disregarding school rules" Snape's voice sneered behind him.
Harry quickly turned to face his Professor, realising that it had been him that had stopped him falling. He avoided eye contact with the man, the events of the previous Tuesday still fresh in his mind. He could feel his anger at distrust of the man just bellow the surface.
"I was just checking on my owl sir," He answered weakly. There was something about Snape that either had him either timid or on the attack. Right now he felt timid under Snapes loathsome glare.
"And why pray tell could you have not done so during the day when she delivers your post?"
"Dontgetmail" he mumbled out his words jumbling into one. He was surprised Snape didn't call him out on it. It was known to be one of the mans pet peeves.
"I see," was the only reply he got. Harry heisted a glance at Potions Master. Yep it was defiantly Snape.
"Perhaps you can instead explain why you could have not asked for one of your teachers to escort you?" His dark eyes sought Harrys green ones forcing eye contact. Harry felt compelled to meet the gaze, fearing if he did not Snape would loose his patience with him quick.
"You do realise that these ridiculous measures have been established for your protection Potter?" Harry could only nod at the question. Another one of Snapes peeves. "Do you realise that you stand no chance if Black wished to attack, do you have a death wish Potter?" Harry shrugged. That was three. He was pushing it. "Do you enjoy throwing the efforts of those trying to protect your fool hide in their faces." The obsidian eyes bore into Harrys, but Harry did not feel the push in his head as he had previously.
Harry was tempted to mumble a reply but when Snape cocked his eyebrow thought better of it,
"No sir," He said in almost a whisper dropping his gaze from Snape. His whisper had come out more mumbled.
"Speak up boy!" Snape snapped, causing Harry to flinch. Which did not go un noticed by the spy. Snape pinched the bridge of his nose and looked like he was trying to regain some calm in his demeanour.
"Ten points Mr Potter," Snape spoke more calmly when he did speak. Harry went to argue that it was undeserved but Snape cut him off. "Detention as well, for being out of the castle without teacher supervision."
Harry glared at the man in front of him, he really did not want to spend anymore time with the git and now he wasn't going to get a choice. Snape grabbed him by the scruff of his shirt and began to march him back towards the castle. He had wanted to react and squirm away, but years of 'training' made instinct kick in and he went limp allowing himself to be dragged back.
From the shadows the two silver eyes glared after them with its teeth bared.
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Severus Snape had already had a horrible day. Three cauldrons had melted in the space of one lesson. Given it was his third year Slytherins and Gryffindors and in that lesson particularly there was always accidents. Any cauldrons that Crabbe, Goyle and Longbottom touched was bound to be reduced to an unidentifiable metallic mess at some point.
He had berated Longbottom for his mess and had to turn a blind eye to the other two idiots. Remarkable, despite the glares of the lions no one had spoke out of his unfair treatment. Not even Potter.
The child had spent the last week ignoring him once more and Severus could not decide if this was for the best. Yes, he had promised to monitor the boy and discover the extent of his life at his deplorable relations; but after the boy had fled come first light he found himself at a loss of how to proceed. It had been easier to keep his distance and not confront the issue.
He had seen reluctance from an abused student before, but Potter seemed to take it to entire new level. The boy knew that his Potions Master knew the truth but instead of using that Gryffindor courage and confronting it he was running from it. Potter was not a coward, he was arrogant and brass. He was not meant to be demising the abuse; but screaming from the tower tops the unfairness of it all. It was giving him a headache trying to understand the child.
For the last week he had watched from the shadows, or he had had his personal house elf Mopsy watching the brats movements. Potter still avoided meals in the halls and seemed to have food snuck to him from one of his fawning fans. But the intake was still not a desired amount. Not enough to counteract years of malnutrition and neglect. Severus had found himself organising a meal in the evening sent to the brat along with a nutrient potion. From the report from Mopsy; Potter had been hesitant with the first meal, but after 'deep thought' had taken the potion and eaten the meal. 'Well at least he was making a step with progress in helping the child'
He had not found any opportunity to single the brat out to in an attempt to approach the subject. Though that was from more of lack of trying on his part. Potter still partnered with Draco in Potions, which gave him little chance of singling him out. Not if he didn't want Malfoy Senior questioning why Severus was letting the Potter brat interfere with the Malfoy heirs education. It was a poor excuse but he did not like the alternative reasoning.
That he Severus Snape, ex Death Eater and spy for the light was worried about how Harry Potters delicate constitution would handle being confronted with his secret of abuse being discovered.
He was biding his time, at least that was what he kept telling himself. Watching from a distance to ensure the child's safety, as he had done since Harry had come to Hogwarts. The morning after that disastrous fast of a detention had heralded the new that Sirius Black was closer than Severus was comfortable with. In a village not ten miles from Hogwarts! No less. He had comforted himself with watching Potter was to ensure that Black could not get his hands on Lily's child.
When Albus had gathered the staff to inform them of the new measures in protecting the students; though they all knew it was Potter that needed the minding, he had been less than thrilled. Having extra eyes on the brat wasn't the issue, it was that he did not trust many with Potters care. He could still not understand how Black was avoiding detection.
Though he was loathed to admit it, Black had been component in his prime. But twelve years of Azkaban destroyed stronger man than him. Black had to have help eluding the Aurors and Dementors. Half of Wizard Britain was after him for Merlins sake. Thankfully Minerva seemed to be thinking along the same lines when she questioned Albus on it.
Severus had watched both the Headmaster and Lupins reactions when the question was posed. Not that he expected much from Albus, the man was considered to be the greatest Wizard of the age for a reason. Lupin though, there had been something, an almost glint of knowing. It had been enough to loose his trust in the werewolves ability to watch over Harry. The beast knew more on how Black stayed loose and he couldn't be trusted.
He had confronted Lupin on the issue twice now. Both times the wolf had evaded the line of questioning. Either with trying to change the subject or infuriating Severus with idle remarks on why he, an ex death eater cared so much about the boy who lived. Only after Severus had stormed away, an inch from hexing the beast to hell and back had he seen the Slytherin tactic for what it was. The second confrontation the mutt had been saved by Albus. Albus kept dismissing the Potions Masters doubts on Lupin.
"I trust all of my staff implacably my boy" Severus wanted to hex the Headmaster after that. Not even a week before he had been shown the damage his blinded faith in humanity could do. Yet here he was once more putting Potter life on the line. For what, a foolish belief that people were all good inside?
If the Headmaster was going to fail in watching the wolf then Severus would do for him. He watched whenever the beast was around Potter. He would not risk the chance that Lupin was aiding his friend. He felt the sense of déjà vu, he had watched Quirell in the same way in Potters first year. More the fool he if he allowed another trusted professor cause the boy harm.
The Thursday next he found himself hiding just out of sight on the Quidditch Pitch watching the boys training session. Potter had seemed weak and lethargic on his broom. He was still as naturally talented as always, but he just appeared off. His concentration was not there as he almost missed colliding with the earth several times after pulling ridiculous dives. If wasn't the moronic adventures Potter was in each year it was going to be watching the brat dying that led Severus to an early grave.
He had been taken aback when Potter seemed to notice him from his hiding place. His old spy habits had led him to disillusion himself and he should have gone unnoticed by mere students. But Potter seemed to focus on the exact spot he stood. He felt relieved when Potter zoomed off moments later he felt himself let out a breath he hadn't been aware he was holding. Severus sneered at himself, what did it matter if the brat knew he was being watched, it might cause the boy to think more carefully about his actions and not jump head first into Gryffindor heroics that were none of his concern.
He went back to his monitoring of Potter, the boy he was sure had a death wish as he soared higher and higher over the pitch in his search for the stupid gold ball. When he levelled out Severus was able to calm his mind. Did the brat even realise the danger of flying up so high! The air was too thin, it wouldn't take much for a child Potters size to loose consciousness at such a height. He watched as Potter became distracted with the view, so distracted that he did not hear the cries of those bellow that a bludger was headed for his fool head.
Severus felt helpless as he watched the canon ball head for Lily's child. At such a height and distance there was nothing he could do to prevent the impact and when the child fell the momentum would be to great to catch the child, let alone slow the descent. The boy seemed to finally take notice as Granger magnified her voice. Just in time it would seem as Potter saw the bludger mere metres from him and managed to roll on his broom, narrowly being missed.
It took all his willpower not to march to the idiot boy-who-lived-to-give-him-heart-failure and give him a detention for the sheer heck of it. But he did not want anyone to know how closely he was monitoring the brat. No, his best chance was to keep his distance and gather what he could from the boy. Now that he was aware the his preconceived perspective of the boy had been false he could see those tell tale signs that not all was well in the life of Prince Potter.
He could feel the pull of his vow at the thought that Harry was indeed abused. He was furious at Dumbledore for not acting and removing him from his relation, angry at Minerva for not noticing and at Poppy for being compelled by an eleven year old to not look into the physical signs. Mostly he was angry at himself for being blinded. His dreams had been tainted with images of his Lily yelling and berating him for not protecting her son.
He had to do something to protect the child; but before he could act he needed Potter to verbalise the abuse. Albus had been right about one thing, if the ministry found out he had Legilimised a child, let alone the saviour of their world it would not go favourably for the Potions Master. Less so for the boy if the ministry followed through with discovering the abuse. Harry would be a ward of the Ministry faster than you could blink and would be used to further whatever propaganda they decided to spew.
He followed disillusioned as the sea of red and gold returned to the castle. He noted that the bridge between the golden trio had been mended somewhat in the past week. But Potter seemed to still be somewhat distant from the know it all and red headed baboon. He narrowed his head as the trio split up once more. He mentally awarded Granger for her trying to talk Potter in going of alone outside the protection of the castle. Mentally taking them back when she allowed Weasley from discontinuing the conversation.
He kept his distance as Potter walked towards the owlrey, the boy looked tense and unsure. Another trait he would not have attributed to the Gryffindor golden boy. He looked at each shadow as though he was about to be attacked. Severus wished that the boy became spooked enough to turn back, but the boy was as bull headed as his father.
Finally Potter paused, looking around as though spooked. Severus silently willed the brat to turn around. He honestly wondered if Potter had any self preservation skills. His flight or fight response was defiantly lacking. He cursed the boys relations for the thousandth time. They had obviously trained the boy out of such a skill, resigning the boy to just stand waiting to receive punishment.
Obviously the boy was to scared at the moment to move at whatever had startled him. Severus sighed he was going to have to move the boy along. It was getting dark and he could feel the chill of the dementors in the air. Lupins words on how the boy reacted to the wraiths presence resonated in his head. He did not want the boy to suffer those effects. Given Severus knew one of those memories was the night the child's family was murdered, he felt a twinge in his chest almost a kin to sympathy.
As Severus approached, dropping the disillusion, he thought he heard growling from in front of the child. Temporally he forgot the sound when Potter stumbled backwards. Without hesitating he caught the boy from falling. When Potter registered he was being manhandled he reacted, wrenching his arm from his teachers grasp. Surprisingly looking back to where he had been staring before.
Severus felt indignant that Potter, one reacted that way from touch and two for ignoring his rescuer. He could not hold back his bitting remark.
"It amazes me Potter how you find such ease in disregarding school rules" He sneered. But his words, or maybe his presence made the brat at least look at him.
He hated seeing the look of fear and loathing in those emerald eyes. His Lily's eyes should only be filled with warmth and calm. But he had a role to play to protect the child and it would not do for any of his former 'friends' to think Potter had any positive feeling towards him, less they attempt to exploit it.
He questioned what the boys motives for being out where gently robbing for more clues about the boys state of mind. He was well aware that the child did not receive more than his subscription to the daily prophet. That with his absence from the Great Hall not even that had been delivered. The boy had also the cheek to push Severus with continued use of shrugging, mumbling and non verbal answers. He wanted to shake the child, had the brat not learnt how to converse with proper respect!
After the third use of deplorable manners in the same about of minutes he had had to try to reign in his temper at the boy. He had snapped at the boy causing him to flinch violently. Severus really wanted to discover the trigger for such a reaction. He noted once more the change in the boys demeanour after such a reaction. Gone was any form of arrogance and in its place the boy stood resigned as if awaiting a punishment. It was unnerving watching such a transformation.
When the boy mumbled a response once more, he could stand it no longer. He gave the brat a detention and physically dragged him back to the castle. He felt the boy resist for less than a second than go limp as he allowed himself to be bodily dragged back to the castle.
He felt as though someone was glaring daggers into the back of his head, but wrongly assumed it was some diffidence from Potter.
Upon returning to the castle Severus found himself dragging the boy down into the dungeons. Originally he had intended to send the boy off to the Lions Den, but he felt a more pressing need to end the game of cat and mouse for answers.
Somewhat surprisingly he found himself dragging the brat to his own privet quarters. Not the most appropriate location. But he felt that at least his abode was one, if not the most secure location for such a delicate conversation. He dropped Potter un-ceremonially on his sofa and began to pace the room.
"I believe you owe me a conversation Potter." He spoke when he was sure he had wrapped his head around his course of action.
Potter looked at him behind those hideous spectacles, confusion and alarm screaming at him from the green depths.
"Let me be more specific," He drawled out. "We had not finished our conversation from last week and you still owe me explanations."
The confusion left the green replaced by anger as the boy glared at him. "What else is there to discus sir." Potter actually sneered at him in a hauntingly familiar way. "I figured we were done when you ignored it for the last week." There was something else the boy mumbled but Severus could not place it.
"After the way you slunk out of here I was under the impression that it was you who did not wish to confront it." Severus sneered back.
In a gesture that was reminiscent of his own Potter raised an eyebrow at him. "What else is there to say, you were in my head, you saw it." The child's shoulders slunk forward. "S'not like it matters, no one has cared before. I've got to go back. Dumbledore has made that clear."
Severus decided to ignore the insolent tone and disrespect for now "Do you really think that if the Headmaster knew you had been abused..."
"I am not abused!" Potter yelled at him standing in trembling rage. "Yeah they hit me and don't treat me like Dudley but I'm a freak they got heaped with so..."
"That Mister Potter is abuse!" Severus snapped back. "As you stated I have been in you mind, I have seen and I know what abuse looks like."
"How?"
"That is my business," He sneered once more, he was not getting into his history with a Potter. "Now why have you kept it to yourself?"
"Told Dumbledore once." Potter mumbled once more looking around in search of an out.
"Professor Dumbledore!" Severus stressed the tittle. He could only take so much disrespect. "And what exactly did you tell him about your 'treatment' there?" He was going to avoid the A word for now. Obviously the child was not ready to admit it.
"That they hate me, and if I could just stay here during the summer."
Severus let out a sigh of frustration. How could the boy not see how vague those words were? How blind was Albus for not recognising the same words Severus had used himself all those years ago.
"What of Poppy?" he asked.
The boy looked bashful at least. "She wanted to look, but it was after Dumbledore had talked to me after the Philosophers incident." Harry let out a frustrated sigh. "Dumbledore had already pressed the need of the blood wards and how important it was that I stayed there. Even after I told him I hated it there. I figured it was to toughen me up for when Volde..." he paused as Severus let out a hiss. "He came back." Green eyes caught out obsidian. Pain and betrayal even concern crying out from the emerald depths. "I don't know what happened but just stopped looking. Just like everyone has."
Severus felt himself suck in a breath at how expressive those eyes were as Po..Harry lay his confessions at his door. He grimly realised how guarded those eyes normally were. How could they have all been so blinded? He felt murderous at Albus for his careless words to the child. Not wonder the child hadn't spoken out.
"What about your Head of house, surely she could have helped?" He asked tried to avoid thought of the headmaster.
The boy actually laughed at that one. "She is the same as everyone else!" the boy threw his hands in the air. "All anyone ever sees when they see me is my father or the stupid tittle they lumped me with." He shot Severus a pointed look.
"Why do you even care, you hate me? What game are you playing at? Do you just want to tell you little snakes how weak I am?" The anger was practically radiating of the boy as he ranted at his professor.
"Because I care!" Severus roared back at him at the accusations laid by the child. He did not like being painted by the same tarred brush as his peers, not by his Lily's child, it was leaving a sour taste in his mouth. "I am not playing some game to humiliate you, I am trying to protect you!"
Potter looked well taken aback by the passion in his teachers voice as he made that declaration. Severus could see the thoughts moving around in the boys head, as though trying to solve a difficult puzzle.
"Why?"
It was a simple enough question, but not one that Severus found himself wanting to answer. "My reasons are my own. Now talk to me Harry, let me help." He stressed his words as he felt the vow loosen its hold slightly.
They both stood in silence for what seemed an age. Finally Harry seemed to make a move that Severus saw as a positive step. The boy sat on the sofa once more looking at him expectantly.
'Well,...' He thought to himself. "At least this might be a start..."
AUTHORS NOTE:
And another one bites the dust. Hopefully this is better than the chapter previous, not happy with how I wrote McGonagall and Poppy. I will be going back and changing that at another date.
Thank you to all those who have reviewed and favourited this story the support is overwhelming. With each notification it pushes my muse to write more. Please if you are reading leave me a review, positive or negative I really don't care I'm good at ignoring the worst of it but it does help me try my best to write a good story.
To my readers of Not a Single Day this is spilling over to me continuing that story as well. Just more slowly than I'd like. I should have a chapter in a week though. (Yes my beautiful beta for it I almost have a chapter for you to edit.)
Till next chapter.
Chapter Eleven - Cuts from a World so Cold.