When Tony opened his eyes the next morning, he expected to see Steve. In the chair beside his bed or on the couch still asleep. But he wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Instead Rhodey was beside him, silently flipping through a thick black book and Bruce was setting him up with a blood transfusion.

He shifted up in bed, careful not to pull on the IVs. "What's going on? I thought I was fine. Why am I getting more blood?" His voice and head were still groggy with sleep.

Bruce laid a hand on his shoulder. "I spoke will Steve after you woke up and we agreed that one last transfusion would help get you on your feet."

Tony nodded slowly. Still not completely understanding why he needed more because he felt fine, but he wasn't a doctor.

"Well where is Cap? Pep said he doesn't normally leave me alone."

"You're not alone, Tony." Rhodey reminded him in a voice that was entirely too soft for his best friend. What was wrong now? He was alive and nearly fully functioning.

"Aw, Platypus I know I'm not alone with you here. Did Steve go to sleep in a bed or something? Pepper said he hadn't slept in a bed recently."

Instead of answering right away, Rhodey handed him the black book he was flipping through. "There is a letter toward the end. He left it for you. He's gone Tony. He went back to the States, most likely. He left in the middle of the night."

Tony's chest hurt. Why would Steve leave? Without saying goodbye? He had only just woken up. What if he got sick again? Didn't he care? Was there a mission? How long had it been since Steve went on a mission? Did he remember how to fight? Did he even still have abs?

"Was there a mission?" Tony asked quietly, his voice wavering slightly.

Rhodey just shook his head softly.

"Do you know why?"

Rhodey grimaced slightly. "I think it's better if you just read what he wrote and then maybe talk to Pepper. She was the last to see him other than Sam and Bucky who both went with him. They should be back tomorrow though. If you want to talk to them."

Tony couldn't help his heart dropping in his chest. Steve left with Bucky. And Sam. But still it was like Siberia all over again. Him being left behind.

Tony just flipped the book open instead of asking anymore questions. Rhodey and Bruce took the hint and left the room to give him some privacy, except for Peter who was still asleep on the couch.

The first dozen pages were pictures of him sleeping. Different lighting and angles, but all of him. Then Morgan and Peter and even Harley filled the pages along with him. Him as Iron Man. Him carrying Morgan at the Lake House. Him in a suit. Him in the lab. All him. In perfect detail. Peter and Morgan curled around him in his hospital bed. The last image was him laughing surrounded by the Avengers and his children.

He couldn't help the tears that rolled down his face at Steve's perfect renditions of events that spanned years. Each of his armors noted in the corner of the page by their Mark number.

He knew that Steve had an eidetic memory, but this was unreal. He couldn't help but wish that Steve was here to show these to him. He paused before the last few pages, that were clearly filled with Steve's neat slanted writing. Did he want to know why Steve left him again? Why he wasn't here?

Yeah. He did. If only to ease his mind.

Tony,

I swore to myself that I wouldn't leave your side, but I guess I'm pretty shit at keeping my promises when it comes to you. I know. I know. Language. Will you ever let me live that down?

You were right. You got your second chance, well maybe you're on your third now, but that little girl is perfect, and you got Pete back. Tony you have everything, and I don't want to be in the way of that.

Thank you. For not hating me when you found out I've been taking care of your kids. The time with them meant a lot to me and I know it's terrible of me to leave without saying goodbye to you or the kids, but if you had asked me to stay I would have and god Morgan has your eyes Tony and when she looks up at me asking me to do something. I just can't say no. Plus who knows what the kid would babble at me to make me want to stay.

Pete knows how to find me if I'm needed, I left him the number, so he can call in case Morgan needs to be sung to or for me to make sure he's doing his work. But if you prefer no contact. I will change it and leave them alone too. Just don't let Pete fool you, he is taking the semester of high school virtually. I got him special permission because the principal's dad was a commando. Don't worry they signed a bunch of Non-disclosures courtesy of Pepper that said no one could mention where he was or that you were in a coma.

They are both so smart its crazy. Harley too. He would be here, but he has finals at MIT. He said he will come by after. Give him a call I'm sure he would appreciate some science talk with you. I know Peter isn't your blood, but he reminds me of you. Ask him about the changes he's been making to his armor. I'm sure he would love to get your opinion. Those kids think the world of you.

I hope you don't hate me for leaving. I just want you to be happy.

I know I did wrong by you. I hate that you have any doubt in your mind that I wouldn't do everything I could to keep you alive. That to me you are worthy of everything. Of the whole world.

We won this time Tony, thanks to you. You got everything we lost back, but it's odd to me that none of that even matters. The only thing that matters is that you didn't die doing it. I wouldn't be able to live in a world without you in it. I don't want to.

I'm glad you found everything you want in this world Tony, but I can't sit by and watch. I'm sorry it's selfish, but seeing you married with children rips me to pieces. But I know I ripped you apart first. I wish things had been different. That I had just told you all the things that really mattered during the accords, but I didn't, and I hurt you. I will take my last breath regretting that moment.

I am glad you're okay. That you're alive. Stay that way, please.

I am going to ask Sam to fly me to New York, which means Bucky is probably going to come too. No one mentioned it because its Bucky, but he and Sam are together. But they aren't staying with me. They'll be back to Wakanda. I am not sure where I'll go. The new compound is nearly complete, but I don't want to take over your space if you want to go back there. There's always Brooklyn. The government owes me a hell of a lot of money, so don't worry about me. I'll be fine. Maybe I will find a place to fit in that isn't the Avengers. Maybe I won't. But Captain America will always be here to save the world if needed.

Don't worry about your last blood transfusion. I'm collecting my blood right now, so that I can leave it for Bruce to use in the morning. I wouldn't leave you without making sure it was safe.

Remember. No matter what, if you need me, I'll be there.

I love you,
Steve

Tony closed his eyes and leaned back into his pillows. Steve overheard him and Pepper. That's why he left. He couldn't help but sigh. He should have known that even asleep Cap hears everything. Also, why the hell does he think that Tony and Pepper were married? Maybe it was a 40s thing. Not as okay with kids born out of wedlock.

Before Tony could think about what to do next, the door slammed open with Morgan running through carrying a drawing and …. His arc reactor?

"DADDYYYYY!" She shouted clearly upset, as she clambered up unto his bed.

"What's wrong, squirt?"

She set the picture and the arc reactor onto his lap, staring up at him with her bottom lip quivering. "Papa left. Momma said so. Why did he leave? When is he coming back?"

Tony couldn't take her giant brown eyes begging him for answers. He would fix this. If only for his kids.

"Don't worry, baby girl. He will come back. Daddy will make sure. Okay? Now where did you get daddy's heart?"

She nodded thoughtfully still clearly upset, before grinning down at his old reactor taking it in her tiny hands to show him.

"It's your heart that you gave Papa when you were mad. He gave it to me when you got hurt."

Tony could barely believe his daughters words. After five years Steve still had his arc reactor, and he had it on him during the fight? Why would he even keep it?

"What about your drawing?" He asked in a soft voice.

"Papa, drew our family. Me, you, Peter, Harley, Mama, and Papa. He made me one before. But there was no Papa. So, he made a new one because I asked."

She showed him the picture and it was all of them, with Steve off to the side, but it was still all of them.

Tony was too far into his head, while staring at her picture and the reactor while she told him stories, that he didn't notice that Peter had shuffled over with his own note clutched in his hand.

"Hey Mr. Stark, is Steve really gone?" His voice was small, like a child who had lost too much family already.

"Don't worry, kid. He'll come back. He wouldn't leave you guys for long." Tony tried his best to be reassuring, but he wasn't sure how he would get Steve back. But he would. Even if it was only to scream at him for saying he loved him in a letter and for abandoning the kids. He would get him back.

"Why don't you take Morgan and go get some breakfast? I will give Cap a call." Peter was reluctant to leave, but agreed in the end.

When the kids left, Peter holding Morgan's hand and listening to her talk animatedly, he slid out of his blankets and swung out of bed on unsteady feet. He slid on his Friday glasses and tugged his IV pole with him to stare out the large window. His legs felt weak, but he fought through it.

"Friday?" He asked tentatively. It had been a while since he used his glasses. He wasn't sure if they even still worked.

"Welcome back Boss." He sighed in relief at hearing her voice.

"Friday, can you get a reading on where Steve is?"

"Scanning…. I have a GPS lock on the Quinjet that the Captain took with Mr. Barnes and Wilson. It is on the Helipad of the new compound located 22.3 miles from your New York lake home and on the other side of the Hudson River from the destroyed compound."

"Does he have any devices that you can get a read on and call?"

"One. A Stark phone from 2016. Would you like to place a call sir?"

"No. Send an alert to the team and tell them that I am calling Steve to come back, and no one should answer any calls from him, until I give the okay."

"Done, Boss."

"Okay. Now I need you to contact Steve and tell him he is urgently needed back in Wakanda. That there's something wrong."

"Should I tell him something specific if he asks, sir?"

"I don't know Friday. That the blood transfusion isn't working, or I am fighting an infection and very sick. I don't care. Just tell him I am sick and asking for him. Just make him come back, Friday."

"On it, Boss."

Tony's knees buckled and he just barely managed to keep himself from sprawling onto his back, but that didn't mean his knees didn't knock hard at their contact with the floor.

He sighed. This was going to be a long recovery. But hopefully Steve would be here for it.

Steve wasn't sure what he was expecting when he got to New York, but it wasn't to be woken up an hour after landing by a phone call. He didn't really expect anyone would want to talk to him. And very few people even knew how to reach him.

"Rogers." He grumbled out, barely opening his eyes.

"Captain Rogers. You are needed urgently in Wakanda." Friday's crisp voice rang out in his ear.

Steve bolted upright in his bed. Scrambling to register her words.

"What's wrong? Is it Tony? The kids? A mission?"

"I am afraid that it is Mister Stark, sir. He needs you in Wakanda."

"Is he hurt? Is he okay? He was fine when I left Friday. What happened?"

"He is unwell and asking for you Captain. I believe that he attempted to walk before he was ready and while receiving his blood transfusion. He has injured himself sir and I think it would be best if you returned before he injures himself further. He is being most uncooperative."

Steve sighed, scrubbing a hand down his face. He shouldn't have left. He should have stayed even if it sucked seeing Tony with Pepper. Damn Tony needed him and the kids were probably going crazy seeing him hurt again.

"Friday, can you power up the jet? And ask Sam and Bucky to meet me there?"

"Of course, Captain."

He shoved his phone into his bag and dressed quickly before bolting to the jet. He wouldn't let Tony get hurt or sick. Not when he just woke up. When he finally got him back. He would give all the blood in his body to protect him.

Notes:

Sooooo. Its longer than my last ones, so sorry for those that I promised it would be out the next day. I am about 2.5 hours late.

It did not double check my writing so there may be mistakes. I will catch them on my next read most likely. So i am sorry if any of the grammar or spelling sucks. Its late and i'm too tired to edit. But i am going to post anyways.