25 Ways to Annoy Esme Cullen
Break all her china
Take her shopping to get new china and break it all before she buys it
Redecorate her house
Make it gothic style
Make it princess style
Make it sex party style
Walk into her house and say, "eurgh. Who decorated this house? It looks like the interior designer came in here blindfolded!"
Tell her she isn't a real mom
Move all the furniture from one room to a different room
Paint every room mismatching colours to the furniture
Stock up her kitchen with human food
Show up on her doorstep every night with your own knife and fork and a bib
When she looks at you funny say, "Look in your kitchen. Doh" and let yourself in
Dye her hair bleach blond
Ask her if she's Team Edward or Team Emmett or Team Jasper
When Edward, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Rosalie and Bella are at school, dress up as the police, claim the school has been closed down and then question where her children are
Show up on her doorstep with a clipboard and "assess" the exterior of her house
Show up the next day and invite yourself in and "assess" the interior of her house
Send her a letter saying she needs to rethink her exterior and interior designs for her house
Turn her house into a children funhouse
Invite the local child day-care centre to her new children funhouse house
Give them lolly bags on the way in
"forget" to put bins in the house
Host a massive teenage party with alcohol and drugs at her house
Make sure the police are already busy and can't make it to her destroying house to stop the massive party
A/N: Decided you could all do with an update (: its actually been sitting on my computer for a while so yeh. I'll actually write a proper chapter soon, just going through trying to figure out why I have 12 documents on my folder for this story if I have 9 on the site and one of them is a list of all the characters I'm writing a chapter for. So now I have 11 accounted for documents and just one more to sort out. Please review! I love reviews as much as I love Nick Jonas. And if you know me, you'll be screaming into a pillow while thinking about pelting me with rocks after reading that. Heh heh.