An update? That's crazy talk. But no... I really tried to have this one up by the New Year. Sadly, 'twas not to be so. But here is the latest installment in the thing no one seems to have anything to say about... Please leave a review. I didn't get any for the last three chapters, and that just makes me sad. Now, I know this isn't about everyone's favorite character, but I like to think that I do a reasonable just writing this stuff and a decent review, even just one or two, would make me so very happy. It always irritates me when authors beg for reviews of their stories when they have like fifty or sixty or over a hundred, but I don't think I'm being way out of line here. I've got ten reviews for this story, guys. This is the tenth chapter. Please don't make this story have more chapters than reviews, because that'd be sad enough that I'd really like not to think about it.

That being said, I'll stop being irritating and tell you instead to enjoy! It's not a light chapter, certainly (I think it's the saddest I've written), and I've got one more dark one planned before things start looking up slightly. I'd apologize for the lack of lightness, but hey... it's life in wartime. Hope you like it.

Fear hung over the whole country. Emmeline found herself flinching at the mere flash of a black cloak, and that feeling was contagious. Everyone was on edge, drawing wands on each other at the slightest inconsistency, and they ran the door checks like inquisitions. She found herself learning more about her friends and the rest of the Order than she'd ever known before, including quizzing each other on what underwear they were wearing.

"Look, Fabian, you know what bra I've got on, let me in," Emmeline demanded through his closed door.

"Describe it for me." She could hear the laughter in his voice and scowled.

"You're doing this on purpose. And that's not even one of the questions, and you have no way of knowing which one I put on this morning anyway." Sighing, she rolled her eyes and darted a wary look around. Downtown London was a place many young witches and wizards lived, but Emmeline preferred the solitude of the Sea Tower during wartime. "It's cream and black, all right? Mostly cream fabric, covered in black lace that is patterned after roses. Happy?"

"Very." He opened the door and she hurried inside. "Can I see it? Just to know you were telling the truth?"

"Stuff it." she shrugged out of her jacket and tossed it on a chair.

"You certainly don't."

"Fabian!"

"Well, you don't. What's going on?"

"Nothing. Dumbledore's commandeered my house and is holding a secret meeting for the older members in the kitchen. He requested very politely that I go away." Emmeline flopped down in one of the chairs, looking up at Fabian. "So I'm here for entertainment."

"And Ben's not here, so I have plenty of ideas..." Fabian shot her a wicked smile which she returned. He was leaning down to kiss her when the door slammed open and shut. Fabian closed his eyes. "Damn."

"How's Gideon been?" Emmeline asked softly, eyeing the door with apprehension.

"Not good. Marlene's death completely tore him apart. I mean, I knew they were seeing each other, but I didn't know it was serious. He's distant, and angry, and I can't do anything to help." Fabian stopped and ran a hand through his hair. "It's tearing me apart, to see him like this. He's been taken off patrol duty."

Emmeline nodded. Nothing was really out of the ordinary with that, because whenever someone was directly affected by a death or disappearance, they were taken off the roster for guarding. She understood why—people were distracted or introverted, and that translated into a hazard for their partner. But Fabian seemed to think it was odd, so she asked him why.

"This is Gideon. He's not fazed by anything. But he was—he is—a mess. I've never seen him like this. I didn't think he could be like this. He's always been able to weather everything that was thrown at him, hexes, curses, punches, anything. Other people dying didn't affect him like this, even when Dad died. I mean, he was sad, everyone was, but not violent."

They were both silent for a while, Emmeline shifting around to lean back against her boyfriend. "It is going to be over, isn't it?" She asked eventually.

"Gid will be back to normal soon."

"That's not what I mean."

"I know."

"So you don't want to tell me what you think?"

"Living in ignorance is bliss, I've heard."

Sighing, Emmeline let herself relax for another few minutes before standing slowly. "I should get back. Dumbledore said it wouldn't be a long meeting, and I need to see what Benjy will tell me about it."

"You know, Emm, the point of a secret meeting is to keep secrets."

"Yes, but they're no fun. I'll see you later, Fabe." She waved to him as she left, Disapparating on his doorstep. She thought she saw another flash of red Prewett hair down the block as she turned and hoped that it was Gideon coming back, although she didn't stay and wait.

No one really knew what Marlene and Gideon's relationship was. They'd been friends since Hogwarts, though they had reconnected in an Order meeting the past year. Emmeline remembered swimming trips and watching them flirt nearly incessantly. The beautiful Marlene and charming Gideon clearly had something going on, but Emmeline had never really pressed them for details, not least because while she was with Fabian, she didn't know his brother on a personal level. And Marlene was Alice's older sister, but Emmeline hadn't really known her either.

She let herself into the Sea Tower quietly. The meeting had clearly broken up—Benjy was laying over the armrests of one of the chairs, a newspaper covering his face. She sat in another chair and nudged him with her foot. "Wake up, sleepy."

"Huh? Oh, sorry Emmie." He shoved the newspaper onto the floor and Emmeline tried not to look at the headlines—another group of Muggles had been killed, and a half-blood wizard attacked. Benjy glared down at the paper when he saw her eyes flick at it. "Bloody rag. How are you?"

"As well as I can be. Why are you asking? You saw me this morning."

"How's Gideon?"

Emmeline shrugged, a helpless expression crossing her face. "Fabian says he's still violent. I didn't ask him what that meant. I don't think I want to know."

"It's difficult to imagine Gideon Prewett as violent. What were you planning on doing for today?"

"I was going to write the Dearborn twins, why?"

"Well, we're both off-duty," he nodded at Alastor Moody, who was sitting at the kitchen counter polishing his wand. "I wondered if you would like to go get lunch or something. We haven't hung out in a really long time. I miss you, little sister."

"That's because you've been gone on missions for the past few... years." Emmeline let out a little laugh that was completely devoid of humor. "Let me just grab my cloak." She got her purse as well, even though she knew Benjy would likely not let her pay for anything. Maybe she would find the Dearborn twins a present. It wouldn't help with the grief... but it was worth a shot.

They ended up in Muggle London. Benjy had shrugged when she commented, and had said that he didn't like dealing with all the fear in the Wizarding communities when he was just trying to have a drink with his little sister. They ordered lunch and sat in a small cafe chatting about light things, although even though they both tried to keep away from the war it kept coming up.

Emmeline let her worries about the Dearborn twins out to Benjy as well. "I'm not good at being the older sibling, Benjy. You've always taken care of me, even before my parents died. Whenever they weren't there to protect me or make me feel better, you were. I'm not used to being the one who's relied on, and I'm rubbish at it."

"Emmie, it's not something I can tell you how to do. But those kids trust you and they love you. You'll figure it out." His smile was as comforting as ever.

"After my parents died, you made me feel like even though my world had collapsed, it was still going to be alright. How can I do that for these kids? I feel like I'm just floundering in a big ocean, and I have no idea what to do." Only around Benjy could she be so unsure, and it was a relief.

"Did I really make you feel like it was going to be alright?" He questioned.

"Well... mostly. You made me feel less guilty for being a survivor."

"Being able to survive doesn't ever mean that it's okay, or that it's going to be alright. I'm grateful for whatever I did that helped you feel like that, helped you pick yourself back up, but... I was just trying to be strong for you because that was what you needed. You know what these kids need. You might not feel like you know exactly, but you'll figure it out."

"Help me," she said lowly. "I have no idea."

Benjy was silent for a few moments, taking bites of his sandwich. Eventually he said, "What are you scared of?"

Emmeline wondered how that was going to help, how on earth that mattered, but answered anyway. "Being alone. Being vulnerable."

"And how do you deal with that?"

"Being around people who I care about and who care about me. I hate it when the Sea Tower's empty, you know that."

"When your parents died, I thought about what made me most scared. I had already lost the people who had been better parents to me than my own ever were, and all I had left of them was you. One your first day of school, your father pulled me aside while you said goodbye to your mum and told me to protect you. I told him that while I was around, no one would dare to hurt you. But then I realized at their funeral that I couldn't protect you from the emotional hurt. I'm sorry for that, so I just do my best to be what you need. I can't stop people dying and I can't change the world, but I can comfort you when you're sad and I can dry your tears when you cry. I can teach you spells to defend yourself and I can take out as many Death Eaters as I can, because each one that I get rid of means there's one less to hurt you. I can't be everything that you need, but I can try my best."

Emmeline swallowed. "But I don't know what they need. I'm more like an aunt than a big sister. I can't do it."

"Then be an aunt for them. They don't have one of those either. But Caradoc trusted you with them, and you need to be there. Do whatever you think is right."

"Auggy didn't want to go back to Hogwarts. She says she's too scared to. But I made her, because she's safer there than she can possibly be here."

"That's what Caradoc would have done, and it's the right thing. You're not rubbish at it."

Not really believing him, and not reassured at all by his last statement, Emmeline turned the conversation to other things before they had to leave. She went back on duty at her house watching the Floo and he went out on patrol with Fabian.

Five minutes after they left, Gideon stormed into the Tower, a dark look on his face. "Did they already leave?" he growled, not sounding at all like the Prewett twin she knew.

"Yes."

"Dammit!" He shouted, gripping his wand tightly. He glared at the fireplace and then slumped slightly. "I hate it when he tries to protect me. I'm fine to go on patrol."

"I know what you mean," Emmeline commented quietly, setting the kettle on to boil. The sky had darkened outside and night was creeping over the clifftops on the edge of her property, making her shiver slightly. The night was so much more ominous when the world was in danger and two of the most important people to her were out in it. "I've never been on a patrol because of Benjy and your brother."

He seemed surprised that she was speaking to him normally instead of shooting 'is he alright?' glances his way. "It's nothing special. And they're dangerous. I understand why they don't want you going."

"So do I, but I wish they would let me decide that for myself." She was silent for a moment, and then offered him tea. He accepted and she set to fixing two cups. "Gideon, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. I can't guarantee an answer."

"That's okay, I just... What are you scared of?"

"Being helpless," he answered promptly. "Whenever I have to sit by and just watch, I hate that feeling. I'm worried that the day is coming when I won't be able to do anything when something terrible happens." He looked at her sidelong, more weary and without that spark of life in his eyes that had made him Gideon. "Why?"

"I don't know what to do about the Dearborn twins," she confessed. "I don't know how to help, and I don't know what they need me to do, or be... and I'm scared of that. Caradoc trusted me with their care, and I can't do it because I don't know what to do, and I'm terrified of messing up I can't mess this up. I can't."

"It doesn't matter if you can or can't do it. You have to. You don't have a choice." Gideon said roughly.

Emmeline looked at him. Somehow that helped more than Benjy's explanations and reassurances. She swallowed and nodded.

"Okay."

"That's all you needed?" He asked dubiously.

"No. I need a lot more. But you're right, and I don't have a choice."

They sat in silence watching the fire. Gideon knew enough to not go hunting for his brother, because patrols could go anywhere from the starting point, and walking around alone after dark was practically begging to be attacked.

The flames suddenly roared green. Emmeline leapt to her feet and drew her wand, then gasped as Fabian fell through the fireplace with a loud yell. His face was bloody and he was bleeding heavily from the leg onto the plush carpet in front of the fire. Despite the obvious pain, he whipped his head around and shouted into the fire. "Ben! Dammit, BEN!"

"Fabian!" Emmeline dropped to her knees beside him. "Merlin, you're bleeding... Gideon, find a Healer! Now!" Surprisingly enough, the other Prewett nodded and strode out the door swiftly as Emmeline pressed her hands against the flow of blood from Fabian's leg. "What happened?" She asked through her panic. "Where's Benjy?"

Fabian stopped yelling and looked at her, fear in his eyes. "We were fighting, some Death Eaters found us... agh, that hurts." Wincing sharply as she tore off the hem of her skirt and used the fabric as a pad to help stop the bleeding, he continued as he tried to regain his breath. "We backed into a house. I don't know where the family was, but they were obviously Wizarding. There were a lot of Death Eaters... I don't remember exactly how, but we were cornered. Ben ducked behind me for a second and lit a fire."

He hissed in pain as Emmeline touched his head harder than she had intended because her hands were shaking. "Sorry," she said, voice quavering. "Please... what happened then? Is Benjy alright?"

"I don't know. He lit a fire, threw in Floo powder – it must have been in his pocket or something. He ran past me and shoved me into the fireplace before I could do anything about it."

"But this fireplace is protected by the wards around the Tower," Emmeline said, staring desperately into it, willing her best friend to come through it.

"He must have spelled the powder. He should be back."

When Gideon reentered the Sea Tower with Hestia in tow he seemed to sense the atmosphere. Hestia quickly moved to take over mopping up Fabian's leg and head from Emmeline, and Gideon pulled Emmeline into a chair. "He has to be back soon," she whispered to herself.

They waited for what seemed like hours. Once Fabian was stable, Hestia sat back and got the story out of him while Gideon alerted the Order. Members trickled into the house and a search party was dispatched, which Emmeline was forbidden from going on, despite her pleas. Alastor Moody headed it up, and he took Gideon, Remus Lupin, Hestia in case a Healer was needed, and Elphius Doge.

When they returned, even Moody's normally tough, take-no-shit face was pale and he looked shaken. Remus seemed like he was about to be sick, and Hestia collapsed into a chair. "Benjy?" Emmeline breathed, fingers digging into the armrest of her own chair. Gideon wouldn't even enter the house, instead standing outside the door taking deep breaths of the night air. From their faces she knew, but she didn't want to accept it.

"He's..." Hestia drew a deep breath. "He's gone, Emm. I'm so sorry."

"Where did he go?"

"He's dead," Gideon said. His voice was a murmur, but they all heard it anyway.

She had known from the moment the search group had returned, but hearing it was something entirely different. A sob broke out of her throat and she gasped for air. "B..." she started, but she couldn't even complete his name before it dissolved into a loud wail. It was more like the keening scream of a wounded animal than any human noise, and she buried her face in her hands.

Emmeline would remember dim things about that night later. She could recall the feeling of hands guiding her up the stairs to her room, someone helping to change her daywear to a set of pajamas and tucking her into her bed. She was in a daze, and she couldn't stop crying. Someone held her hand as she fell into an exhausted doze, and was there with her when she woke up screaming in the middle of the night.

The next few days were unending. On the day of the funeral, she pulled herself together enough to get out of bed, Alice watching her with both pity and wariness in her eyes. Emmeline walked over to her closet and pulled out a long black dress that was simply cut and put it on. She braided her hair into a tight plait, then clipped on a black pearl necklace. She fetched her boots from her closet as well and then walked down the stairs, Alice trailing her uncertainly.

"Emm?" Alice questioned softly. "I can Apparate us to the cemetery, if you like."

"I want to walk. I'll be fine on my own."

Alice made a noise of skepticism and Emmeline turned to her, eyes emotionless. "Go, Alice. I'll meet you there." She could tell that her friend thought that Emmeline being on her own was a very bad idea, but she went anyway, letting herself out the door and vanishing outside the gates with a crack.

Emmeline walked into her kitchen and retrieved a bottle of amber-colored firewhiskey from a cupboard, knowing that while she couldn't take it to the ceremony without hating herself, it would help. She took a few deep sips of it, then recapped the bottle and put it back. She went over to the cloak rack and fastened a cloak around her neck and walked out of her house, the burning a comforting feeling in her throat..

The walk to the cemetery where her parents were buried was a short one. It took her about fifteen minutes to reach it, the late September wind tugging at her cloak. The sky was overcast and it looked like it might rain. Emmeline couldn't bring herself to care. When she walked up she heard Alice let out a relieved sigh but she couldn't find it within her to care about worrying her friend either. She took her place in the front row and kept her eyes away from the coffin that held her best friend.

A tap on her shoulder caused her to turn around. Alastor Moody was looking at her, normally fierce eyes as soft as she had ever seen them. He seemed like he was choosing his words carefully, another oddity, but then said gruffly, "Here. I'll be speaking some, but you get to break his wand." Emmeline nodded in thanks, wrapping her fingers around the slim bit of wood and setting it in her lap.

She tried not to sense it, but the wand felt of Benjy as well. When she touched it, it seemed to be the feeling of his laugh and warmth when he hugged her, and the flash of his green eyes. She covered it with a bit of her cloak and closed her eyes to keep from crying again.

Moody took to his feet when the rustling of the crowd getting settled stopped. "Afternoon, everyone. We're here to remember the life of a person that was cut short too soon..." Emmeline didn't listen to his words. Moody had been Benjy's mentor in the Aurors, and she knew he spoke from the heart, but she still couldn't concentrate. She hadn't prepared a speech of her own because she knew that she would never be able to remember it.

Eventually Moody stopped speaking and Emmeline stood, Benjy's wand gripped loosely in her hand. She walked up to the front of the crowd and turned around, not letting her eyes fix on anyone. She opened her mouth to speak in the silence, wondering what she could possibly say that would be even semi-adequate. "I don't know what to say," she eventually said quietly. Her voice cracked from lack of use, or maybe it was from the emotion. "How can I say goodbye to someone who's always been there for me? How can I say goodbye to my brother?" She stopped and looked down at the wand in her hand, still refusing to even glance at the coffin.

She could see the Dearborn twins halfway back in the gathered crowd. They looked intensely somber and Emmeline swallowed hard. Children shouldn't have to attend funerals of anyone younger than their grandparents. She thought of all the things she could say, things that she should be saying, but she couldn't actually say anything. Instead, she started singing as she walked over to his coffin. Her gaze seemed to slid off of it like oil mixing with water, but she laid a hand on the cool wood and held his wand with her other hand. "Blackbird, blackbird, singing the blues all day, right outside of my door. Blackbird, blackbird, why do you sit and say, there's no sunshine in store."

She felt her breath catch in her throat as she launched into the chorus, and willed herself to hold on. "Pack up all my c-care and woe, here I go, singing low, bye bye blackbird. Where somebody waits for me, sugar's sweet, so is she, b-bye bye blackbird." She gulped, fixing her vision on a point on the horizon. "No one here can love and understand me, oh what hard luck stories they all hand me... make my bed and light the light, I'll arrive late tonight... Blackbird, bye bye."

A sob escaped her as she started the second verse. Emmeline bit her lip hard enough to hurt and got through it, ending the verse with, "I'm like a flower that's fading here, with every hour is one long tear. Bluebird, bluebird, this is my lucky day, now all my dreams will come true." Tears started pouring down her face and she tried to breathe deeply for air for the last chorus.

She couldn't do it. Falling apart at the second-to-last line, the final 'blackbird, bye bye' was completely lost to tears. Despite her gasps for air, she raised the wand above her head and broke it with a loud crack that echoed in the near-silence of the gathering. She placed the wand halves into the niche in the coffin that had been carved for them and watched as it sealed itself over with a crystal-clear sheet of glass. The coffin raised up and floated into the grave next to it, and the mound of dirt shifted to fill in the hole.

A grave marker raised itself up. Dimly, Emmeline knew that someone in the audience was making it happen, but she could only watch as the inscription carved itself onto a stone while a tiger formed with its paws on the stone.

Here lies Benjamin Fenwick

January 25, 1955-September 18, 1981

Courage is not the absence of fear,

but rather the judgment that

something else is more important than fear.

Emmeline didn't recognize the quote, and she didn't know who had chosen it. Probably Moody. Her gaze drifted instead to the tiger made of stone. It was almost an exact likeness of Benjy's Patronus, which she'd only seen a few times. It was surveying the assembled audience with a benevolent look, but it also seemed poised to spring into battle at a moment's notice. In short, it was Benjy.

When Emmeline returned to her home she fell into bed again, grabbing the bottle of firewhiskey from her kitchen before she walked up the stairs. Order members claimed the downstairs and she fell asleep after finishing half the bottle.

Emmeline woke with the bottle cradled in the crook of her arm. Closing her eyes against the light of day, she was mildly startled by a knock at her door. She dragged herself out of bed and slipped on a robe – she hadn't worn anything by yesterday's bra and panties to bed. Opening her door, she was surprised to see Auggy and Ziggy. Swallowing and hoping that she'd hidden the bottle well, she let them in.

The trio was silent for a while, then Auggy eventually spoke softly. "Emm, why do good people have to die?"

Emmeline didn't know what to answer, but she scrabbled for something anyway. "Because if you want a change in the world, you need to be prepared for some... sacrifices." She drew a shaky breath. "How is school going?"

She knew that was not what the twins were there to talk about, knew that they didn't want to talk about things like school, but she just couldn't deal with thoughts of him. They gave her identical looks of disappointment and left. Emmeline scowled, though the anger wasn't directed at them. She finished off her bottle to deal with it.

The twins went back to school the next day, and they left without saying goodbye. Emmeline told a bottle of firewhiskey that she didn't care, because they knew what was right better than she did. Order members came and left for patrol, but she watched them from her window when she cared to, which wasn't often. A few of her friends visited her, but for the most part she was left alone. She slipped downstairs and out the door in the quiet of night when whoever was on duty was dosing by the fire to buy herself more alcohol from the local pub, not caring that she went alone, not caring what might happen if she were attacked.

"Emm," a quiet voice stopped her sneak for the door on an early October night. "Where are you going?" She didn't say anything, and Fabian sighed. She heard the noise even though it was as soft as a whisper. "You can't go out alone."

"Watch me."

"Please. Let me get someone to take my watch and I'll come with you. Me and Gid." Emmeline hadn't even noticed Gideon sitting in one of the armchairs by the fire, watching her with hooded eyes.

"No." Emmeline turned and walked out the door, shutting it and cutting off Fabian's curse. She strode briskly down the path and unlatched the gate as light spilled from the doorway onto the windswept ground. The sound of running feet was louder than the click of Emmeline closing the gate, but it couldn't drown out the crack of her Apparation.

She reappeared in Muggle London. Rewrapping her cloak, she turned her head down and made her way to a small pub. It was mostly empty, which she supposed was normal for the middle of the work week. She sat down at a tiny table and ordered a drink from the menu. She didn't know what it was, but it was passable and it gave her the comfort that she had found in alcohol.

Emmeline remained in the pub until closing time. When the man sweeping the floor gave her a meaningful look, she rose gracefully and exited the place, back out on the dark streets of London. It had gotten colder and a light rain was falling. Tucking her chin down into her cloak, she walked. The dark-haired witch didn't know where she was going – then again, it didn't matter. She didn't want to be shouted at when she returned home, so she would simply wait for the shift change that came with dawn.

She didn't realize the creeping of the unnatural cold permeating the air until her breath fogged in front of her. Stopping, she reached a hand into her pocket for her wand, gripping it tightly in her fingers. She turned and walked down a side street quickly, hoping to get to a place where she could Apparate away from the sight of wayward Muggles.

Emmeline never got the chance. A little less than halfway down the street, the cold became overwhelming and she looked around, unable to stifle a gasp as she saw two cloaked figures swooping towards her. Drawing her wand, she placed her back to the wall and threw a silent Blasting Hex at them.

It passed through the cloaks, and Emmeline smothered a whimper before it could escape her throat. Dementors. Logically, they shouldn't be out without wizard guidance, unless they were chasing an escaped prisoner. Those were the rules she had been taught. But that was in a logical time, when things didn't get darker and darker with each passing day, and now was not that time. She swallowed hard, the dementors having the same sobering effect on her that three days of cold turkey and living on tea and toast does.

As they got closer, Emmeline remembered keenly the feeling of being told that her parents were dead, that Benjy was dead. And when she reflected on the day later, she thought that that should have sent her back into a sobbing heap on the drenched pavement, but the pain was so acute and new that even the amplifying effect of the dementors didn't make it unbearably worse. Because honestly, it was already unbearable.

Summoning memories of being hugged by Benjy, his carefree smile and don't-mess-with-my-Emmie attitude, she whipped her wand at the dementors and screamed "Expecto Patronum!"

A huge shape tore from her wand, made of mist and silver. It was flickering but it got more solid as she strengthened her resolve, and she squinted to make out the form as it let out an inaudible roar and leapt forward to pounce on one, swiping at the other with a massive paw. Emmeline choked on her own breath and felt sobs rise up but kept her wand steady, fueling the tiger with more memories of Benjy. It was his patronus guarding her, and she remembered what he'd said about the forms changing shape after massive upheaval and emotional trauma.

The tiger chased them down the road and out of sight, and Emmeline let the magic fade slowly. She didn't know when she'd sunk down to sit on the wet street, but her shoulder was leaning heavily against the wall next to her. Slowly, she picked her thoughts up and regained some control over herself, drawing several shaky breaths before she felt like she could stand without adverse effects. She refastened her cloak more securely around her neck and kept her wand out before turning on the spot and Disapparating back to the Sea Tower.

When she escaped the crushing and squeezing of Apparation, she discovered her home was flooded with light. She hadn't expected that, it being around four in the morning, but belatedly she remembered that she had just walked out on Fabian and Gideon, and even though Fabian was the one who was her boyfriend, neither one of them would have taken that well. People didn't like other people just vanishing, especially at night.

Emmeline understood. She didn't but she just didn't want to deal with the shouting and admonition that was sure to come. Sighing, she opened the gate and clicked it shut softly behind her after she stepped through it anyway. She hadn't even gotten herself any alcohol in bottles to comfort her in her room, which had been the whole point of her outing. Unclasping her cloak (it wasn't raining back home, although she was soaked through from London) she walked up the path to her house, opening the red door gently.

Half a dozen faces swiveled around to look at her. "Emm," Fabian was the first to react, standing up and hurrying over to her. He wrapped her in his arms. "You can't... don't do that to me, Emm. Please."

"Why is everyone here?" She asked him. She didn't hug him back, but it felt nice to be held. Not as good as he could have done, but... acceptable.

"Everyone else is out looking for you. You just vanished."

"Call them back. And tell everyone that there are dementors in London. I had to fight off two of them."

Hestia hurried over and placed a hand on Emmeline's forehead. "Are you alright?"

Emmeline brushed her off gently. "I'm fine. I just need some sleep. I'll see you all later." She was cold and removed, but that was how it had to be. If she had something to drink it would have been better.

A few days passed. Emmeline insisted on being let out for a patrol, and managed to pick up some new bottles each time she went on one, which was the only real reason she was so demanding about going. If it had been earlier, before the loss of the McKinnons and so many others, she knew that in her emotionally compromised state she would never been allowed. But desperation and lack of Order members left fueled necessity, and although she was only allowed out in a group of three, she knew that it was what needed to happen.

She was out on patrol with Fabian and Gideon when the night burst into shouts and curses. She threw herself behind a dumpster and looked out, bleeding from her left arm. She looked out, seeing Gideon flinging hexes at the dark figures and Fabian fueling shields around them both. Biting her lip, she launched herself into the fray, picking one shadow to focus on.

Gideon took over from casting his hexes to shielding, and Fabian wrapped an arm around Emmeline. "Wha-" she started to say before he Apparated them both to the main street in Tinworth. Letting her go, he vanished with another crack into the night. "FABIAN!" She shrieked after him, breaking the silence of sleeping Tinworth. "FABIAN, DAMMIT!" Hurling herself back into the oblivion of Apparation, she reappeared where they had started patrol.

Swearing at herself for not summoning a broom from her home, she ran down the street as fast as she could, retracing their patrol route. Emmeline shucked off her robe and sweater mid-stride, gasping for air as she neared the shouts and blasts. The dark street wherever they were (she hadn't bothered to pay attention to where she was being deployed that night, because she already had enough alcohol to last her until her next patrol) branched off into an alley and she bolted down it, jumping back into the fight with a stunning spell aimed point-blank at a Death Eater.

He went down without a sound and Fabian looked around, blood streaked across his face. She saw his mouth form her name and the fear in his eyes, but she turned away from it and back to the fight.

She didn't know how long they fought. It seemed like hours, but she knew it couldn't have been that long. More and more Death Eaters kept coming, and Emmeline drew the conclusion that they must have known the patrol would be there. It was the logical, cool, calculating part of her mind that decided that, and it didn't really matter in the thick of the fight.

There was a slowness to the Prewett twin's arms that they seemed determined to overcome. Emmeline felt it too, and though she tried to ignore it, her reaction time was slower, and she gained more and more wounds. A falling brick from a building that had taken an errant curse struck her right shoulder and she nearly dropped her wand. She bit the inside of her cheek hard enough to taste blood in her mouth.

"Emm!" Dimly, she heard Gideon over the clash.

She made her way to his side slowly, casting shields and hexes both. "Gideon!" She called, not wanting to distract him by hitting his arm.

"Emm, get out of here!"

"Not without you! Or Fabian!"

"Emmeline, we need help! They must have known we were here! We can hold them off, but we need help! They've got Anti-Apparation wards over this whole street! Get out of here!"

"You go! I'm not leaving!"

"Vance, I outrank you!" Gideon took half a second to glare at her. It was true – they'd never come into play that Emmeline knew of, but the Order did have a ranking system for its members. And Fabian... Fabian wasn't even technically in the Order, so Gideon couldn't command him to go. "Go!"

"I'm not leaving!" Where had those tears come from? Emmeline, despite her protests, knew that she had to go and was back off slowly. "Dammit, Gideon!"

Blessedly, the alleyway she had returned by was clear of Death Eaters. "Go, Emm!" Gideon called over the other shouts.

Gasping from both the lack of air and sobs racking her body, Emmeline took one last look and fled, tears pulled from her eyes as she ran. She didn't know how she had enough air in her body to run, cry, and cast a series of shield charms behind her, but she did. Two Death Eaters were following her, blasting her shields out of the way. She'd always been rotten at certain charms.

One of the Death Eaters seemed to trip over himself, and she caught gazes with Fabian for a split second. "Go!" She saw, more than heard, him say. She threw a stunner at the other dark man chasing her and miraculously, it hit. He collapsed and she flew out of the alleyway and further from the alley, fear and terror lending wings to her feet.

She twisted into darkness and reappeared outside the Tower, unlocking the gates as fast as she could and bolting up the lane after securing them behind her. She made as much noise as she could as she slammed open the red door and pounded up the stairs, the Order member on duty (Hestia) looking after her in shock.

"Everyone up now! Fabian and Gideon need help, get up!" She banged on all the doors, praying that some people had stayed over. "Hestia, get on the Floo and hurry!" She ran back down the stairs, shaking with exertion and adrenaline as Hestia spoke quickly into the fire. "Hurry!" She pleaded.

The fireplace, once Hestia had finished her calls for help, roared green. Minerva McGonagall stepped through in a tartan dressing gown, pulling back her hair into the customary bun as she did so. Remus Lupin followed her, along with Sirius. Remus looked like he'd been up the whole night anyway, and was still in his day clothes. Sirius, on the other hand, wore nothing but a cloak and long plaid pajama pants. He looked ridiculous, but Emmeline was just about as far from a laughing mood as she could get.

"Emmeline, stay behind."

"Like hell!" she snarled, and led the way out the door. She was still shaking as she held open and then locked the gate behind herself, reaching out to grab Remus and Sirius by the hands. Hestia came as well, gripping onto Remus's arm.

Emmeline Apparated with a bang and took off running down the alley way. A shadowy figure raised its head, hooded by its cloak, and then Disapparated. After that crack, there was silence but for the pounding of feet. Emmeline skidded to a halt and fell to her knees, torn-up chunks from the street scraping her knees, her tears from before coming back in full flood.

Fabian and Gideon were lying spread-eagled on the pavement, a half-circle of five fallen Death Eaters around them, clearly dead. The twins were also clearly dead, and Emmeline didn't need Hestia's head shake and sorrowful expression to know that after she'd examined the bodies. She buried her face in her hands and bent her forehead down to her knees, body wracked with sobs.

There was a funeral. Emmeline sang because that was what needed to happen. Fabian and Gideon's pregnant elder sister Molly Weasley broke the wands. She placed the top half of Gideon's wand in Fabian's coffin along with the bottom part of Fabian's own wand, and the other two parts in Gideon's coffin. The coffins were lowered into the graves and Molly's children were either extremely solemn or crying.

Emmeline stood with her hands on Auggy and Ziggy's shoulders. She hadn't stopped crying and today was no exception, although they were silent tears. The early October sun was weakly shining through the clouds as the tombstone was raised. Emmeline closed her eyes once the block had settled. When she opened them again, there was an inscription in gold written on the stone that spanned the two graves.

Fabian and Gideon Prewett

March 15, 1958-September 30, 1981

Hold faith in each other

when it feels like the world's gone mad.

She felt Auggy's small body start to shake with repressed grief and Emmeline swiped her own eyes on her robe. Later there would be time to cry and drink her sorrows away. There were two people who needed her. She knelt down and pulled the girl into a hug, letting Ziggy stand with his arms crossed and fighting hard to hold back his own tears. "Shh, Auggy... let's go home."

"Will you take us to Hogwarts tomorrow, Emm?" Ziggy asked in a tight voice. "I don't want to be alone on the Knight Bus." He sounded at once older and younger than his almost thirteen years, and it broke her heart.

"Of course." It meant that she couldn't drink tonight, or else she'd never wake up in time. They walked away from the funeral and Emmeline Apparated them back to the Tower, gripping Auggy's hand the whole way. "We'll leave by eight so you can be there for your afternoon classes."

The three of them went to bed, if not sleep, early that night. Remus was on duty downstairs and Emmeline fell into a deep sleep without sneaking down to get into the alcohol cupboard. She was exhausted, physically and mentally. There had been too much death, of everyone who had been the most important to her. Whole families wiped out in the space of a few hours... the Bones... the McKinnons... and everyone knew someone who had lost someone.

There were bits and pieces of families scattered over the Wizarding world. Emmeline was the last Vance. All the Prewetts were old, like that horrid Muriel that Fabian and Gideon had called aunt. The last Dearborns were sleeping just below her. A few months back James Potter's parents had died, leaving him, Lily, and baby Harry the last Potters alive.

We're a dying kind, purebloods, Emmeline thought miserably. She wasn't about blood status at all, she didn't care if there was a Muggle-born for Minister of Magic, but there was something to be said for heritage and history, and that was vanishing by the day. It just needs to end. Please, please... let it end.

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