Welcome To My Messed Up Life

Chapter 10

An Unexpected Guest

It was now the next day. My mom called me out of nowhere earlier asking me if I was still at my friends house. It was the first time she had been concerned for me since everything that had happen. I told her I was at Eli's house and she told me she just wanted to make sure I was okay and stuff. She said she loved me then hung up.

"So what was that about?" Eli ask me a few minutes after I got off the phone. He just shrugged at me and I laughed. "So what do you wanna do today?" He ask me while I smiled. "Mom and Sandy are gone. Dad's doing something around the house so its just you and me. Something we hardly ever get." With that the door bell rang. He groaned.

"Something we won't ever get here lately huh?" I ask him with a laugh as he went to answer the door. I was in his living room but couldn't see anyone. I figured it was just Adam or something.

"Clare can, you, um, come here a minute?" Eli ask me as I got up and went to the door. I still couldn't see the person being behind the door. "This dude claims to know you." I looked over and was shocked.

"L-L-La-Lane?" I ask stuttering over my words. "What are you doing here? You said you wanted nothing with us anymore. You said since he died you had no reason to be around us anymore." I told him getting frustrated at him.

"Um, so you do know him." Eli said making me look at him and calm down. "Can I be in on all this and everything."

"Eli, this is my older half brother Lane." I told him going a little louder on the half part. "Lane this is my boyfriend Eli." I said and he started getting mad.

"I can't believe you went and got another boyfriend." Lane said getting mad. I just rolled my eyes. "After everything you've been through. He's just gonna break your heart like everyone keeps doing." He said I got mad at this. Since when did he tell me what went on in my life?

"What the hell do you want?" I ask him not usually one to use words like that.

"Someone's not in a good mood." He said with a laugh. "Are you on your monthly or something?" He ask me with a laugh while I just rolled my eyes.

"Because you showed up ruining my entire weekend. Your the reason we got away from there. You wanted nothing to do with any of us and now your back in our lives? I'm not that stupid. I see through everyone of your tricks. Just like I use to when you had Mom and Dad cater to every little thing you wanted." I told him with vermin in my mouth.

"What are you talking about? Your mom couldn't stand me. You couldn't stand me. Madison wasn't fully there and Brianna warms up to anyone fast. Darcy just tried to get attention. I had everyone wrapped around my finger, but you. All I want to know is why?" He said getting mad at me for no reason.

"Cause I ignored everyone once you came along. I was already put in to the shadows with Darcy. Madison has 'problems' and Brianna was the baby. You came along and it was like I wasn't even there. I just stayed out of your way, but I put my foot down on things I knew you SHOULDN'T be doing." I told him with a smirk on my face. I had been around Eli to long.

"Clare, are you okay? Do I need to get him out of here?" Eli ask me giving Lane daggers. I had to smile at how he was just about the best boyfriend ever. "Why didn't you tell me you had a brother?"

"Oh, so he doesn't even know about me? Does he know anything about the past? How about the time your mom caught you cutting yourself? You just wanted attention is what I told her." Lane said with a smirk trying to get under my skin. Eli gave me a shocked look.

"Its not exactly how that went down. Lane he knows nothing about my past. The only thing he knows about is how Dad and Grandma died. Now will you please get out of my life. All you've caused us is hell. Your the reason my parents broke up. Your the reason for almost everything. How scared do you think I am somebody is going to call that on the family again. I can't sleep at night wondering if we may have a chance of getting taken away." I told him but I wasn't in tears. I wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. Not today I wasn't.

"Will you please forgive me? Your my little sister. Nobody will forgive me unless you do. Your the leader of the family. Helen will, but none of the kids will. I'm sorry you felt so alone. I'm sorry cause of that you decided to try and kill yourself cause of me. Please just forgive me." He said and he honestly looked sorry.

"No Lane. I won't forgive you. And to be honest I didn't try and kill myself cause of you. I did it cause I was getting to the point that I was tired of living. It wasn't to kill myself anyway. I was just trying to show Mom and Dad how screwed up their daughter was and all it did was make them fight more. I don't need your pity on me. Just go away. Maybe one day I can forgive you, but not today. Your the reason, one of the reasons, that I can't trust anybody. Goodbye." I told him and with that I ran out the door.

"Clare, Clare come back." I could hear Eli's voice say. I just kept running. "Please will you talk to me Blue Eyes." He said but I just started running faster. I ran all the way to the dot. Holly J was at work today.

"Hey hows it go- Clare what's wrong?" Holly J ask me once she saw that I was depressed and wasn't in a good mood to be talking like that right now.

"My brother came and told Eli some of what happen in my past. No matter how much I run everything seems to follow me. Sometimes I wonder if it would be easier on everyone if I was dead." I said and before Holly J could answer someone else did for her. I didn't know he had followed me.

"No it wouldn't be better. We all have bad things happen to us. Don't do that to yourself. Now, just a quick question from me. Are you still cutting yourself?" He ask and Holly J's mouth fell wide open.

"Your sister wasn't lying when she said that you did that." She said and I made mental note to kill Darcy later for telling Holly J and whoever else my life story.

"Yes Holly J I did. Don't go telling anyone. No Eli, I only did it that one time. I have thought about it lots of times but I had promised a friend of mine that I wouldn't ever do it again." I said and he sighed with relief.

"Why didn't you tell me about your brother?" He ask me and I sighed not wanting to go through this right now. "Clare you can't keep keeping these secrets from me anymore. Your a wreck and need to let it out before it becomes more than you can handle." He told me and I new he was right.

"I can't tell anyone anything." I told him and he gave me a look of trying to understand where I was coming from.

"Why?" He ask me and with that we forgot about everything around us. I just broke down crying right there. "Just tell me why." He said and I sighed once again.

"Because I know the moment I trust anyone your either gonna walk out on me or mom's gonna find out I'm happy and ruin it for me all over again. I can't take that happening. Its just easier for me to live in my own world making everyone else happy." I told him and he sighed.

"If you wanna make everyone happy then stay with me and tell me everything that's going on. You deserve to be happy too. Your taking that away from yourself and its not fair." He said and I sighed and smiled.

"It doesn't work that way. You just wouldn't understand where I'm coming from." I told him and then he looked me in the eyes and said something no one has ever said to me.

"Then make me understand." Just then I couldn't take it as memories came back to me.

"Mrs. Cook?" The intercom said as I was sitting in my fifth period math class. It was seventh grade and I was excited to be in middle school. It felt nice.

"Yes?" She said to the intercom. It was almost time for the bell to ring so I could go to my sixth period reading class.

"Can you please send Clare Edwards to the office for a moment?" She ask and I looked around weirded out. I didn't have to leave for anything so why couldn't I stay and mess around with my boyfriend in my next class? Crap what had I done already? It was close to March so what could I have done?

"Yes I can. Clare go ahead and take your stuff anyway. By the time you get back you'll be in sixth period anyway." She told me and I nodded my head.

I left the class room and went to the office. The lady behind the desk pointed to a room where a dark skinned woman waited for me. From the looks of it she was with something. Then it donged on me. She was with CPS, Children Protective Services. She was here to take me away.

"Can I help you?" I ask her and she looked up and smiled at me.

"Yes, now don't be scared, but I'm here to talk with you about you house. Just asking a couple questions." She told me. Of course I was going to be scared. Why wouldn't I? Some woman I didn't know was trying to take me away from the only family I ever come to know.

"Okay." I told her being as nice as I could. Something my parents always taught me to do.

"Is your house what you would call messy?" She ask me and I gave her a weird look. Why would I think my house was messy if I was the one who lived in it?

"No ma'am. I love my house." I told her and she wrote it down.

"Now, I understand you live in a four bed room house with your parents, two older siblings, and two younger siblings. What are the room arrangements to that?" She ask me. I honestly didn't think it was any of her business but answered it anyway.

"Well, my parents have a room. My brother has his own room being the only boy. I share a room with my older sister and my two smallest sisters have a room they share." I told her and she nodded.

"Are there any dishes piled everywhere in the house?" She ask me. What kinda house did she think I lived in? She's gotta be crazy. Who ask these kinda questions?

"No ma'am there is not. Can I go now, cause nothing personal but you should have no right to be asking me questions like this." I told her and she just rolled her eyes. What a butt head.

"Just doing my job. Just one more question then you can go. Do you feel safe in your own home?" She ask me and I had to laugh at this.

"Of course I do. Do you think I would be there if I didn't?" I ask her. Truth be told I didn't feel safe in my home with my brother being there. It made me a nervous wreck. She didn't need to know that.

"Okay thank you for your time. You can go now." She told me and I got up and went to the lady for a pass. Sixth period had done started so I need one to get in to class.

"Nice of you to join us Miss Edwards. Please take your seat next to K.C." She told me as I gave her the pass. I nodded my head and sat in front of K.C. Something felt wrong when he didn't even make sure I was okay. He could tell something had happen but didn't even ask me.

"Can I go to the bath room please?" I ask the teacher after a while. I couldn't take it anymore and needed to cry. She nodded her head and I ran out of the door. Nobody came after me. My best friend at the moment was a grade a head of me anyway. I was lost and alone in the world at that very moment.

The way it stayed from then on in my life. Lost, alone, and confused. Nobody knew everything I was feeling from the smile I had on my face every since then.

"Clare? Hello? Are you still with me?" Eli ask me bringing me out of my flashbacks. I couldn't take it anymore and ran out of the Dot. I ran to the only place that calmed me anymore.

The park. It kept me okay for whatever reason. I loved it ever since I was a little kid. It brought back the good memories of my family in happier times.

The way I wished life would still be.

Okay, so this is a pretty intense chapter! =) How many of y'all like it? I know it aint that good, but I hope you still like it!

Now, I know not many stories deal with CPS, Children Protective Services, but we really did get it called on us twice! Both times being my older brothers fault! He didn't wanna live with us and thought he could just get us all taken away! I wanted to kill him for it, but I'm over it now, so yea!

And I did have a seventh grade love! I still find myself thinking about him from time to time! He didn't cheat on me like K.C did to Clare in this though! We just kinda grew apart! I may explain that in another chapter! If you wanna here that story!

Well, I'm suppose to be in bed! So goodnight to everyone! While your at it, check out my new four or five shot Degrassi story What Have You Learned? Its suppose to be a funny one!

Welp, bye for now! =)