"Let Mac have her process time, Veronica," Meg told the concerned blonde. "Just let her know that you're there for her when she wants to talk about anything or nothing at all."
Veronica petted Backup who was resting his head on her lap. "It doesn't seem like enough." She sighed and Backup licked her palm, somehow picking up on her distress. "After all she's been through."
"Sometimes," Meg said softly. "People just like that someone's there."
Lilly had a pensive look. "Mac won't talk to you about it, Veronica."
"What?" Veronica's head shot up toward Lilly. "Why?"
Lilly took a moment, for the first time she concentrated on finding the right words to say. "You tend to hold the people you love on a pedestal. You always have."
Veronica's eyebrows creased in confusion.
"I adored that you admired me," Lilly continued, a gentle reassuring smile on her lips. The last thing she wanted was Veronica to feel like she was attacking her. "But it's one of the reasons I've never wanted you to see my... flaws."
Veronica shook her head, ready to argue that she knew who Lilly was, flaws and all.
"But," Lilly quickly interjected. "Somehow you did and you accepted me for who I was. That's why I loved you but I valued your opinion so much, Veronica, that I couldn't tell you the secrets that I knew would change the way you saw me."
Meg could see that Veronica was deeply effected by Lilly's words and she knew that Lilly had to have some point because despite everything, Meg knew without a doubt that Lilly loved Veronica and would only want what was best for her.
"Eventually, you just wanted to keep me on that pedestal, Veronica. So even when you found out my secrets, you excused it. I think you did that because I died and you didn't want to believe that the person you knew never existed."
Veronica's jaw clenched and tears stung her eyes.
"But I am the same person you knew, Veronica, I just made mistakes. Stupid reckless mistakes, but they were my mistakes. And you need to realise that the people you love are human and they are allowed to make mistakes. At the same time, you have to realise that just because they do or feel something that you disapprove off, doesn't mean that they've made a mistake."
Veronica blew out a breath of hot air, she stood up from her bed, a tear escaped her eye and she snapped, "You know what, Lilly? Your mistake killed you. Literally. You're dead. I didn't excuse what you did but I love you, Lilly! My entire life was turned upside down because of your mistake. Your stupid, reckless, selfish mistake that hurt everyone around you. So you don't get to tell me that I should accept people's mistakes. People that I love. Because I don't want them to die. I don't want them to be another ghost in my head."
"Veronica-" Meg tried to ramify the situation but Veronica quickly shot her down.
"No," Veronica choked out. She stared Lilly down, she didn't care that the tears still cascaded it's way down her cheek, she wanted to let this out. She needed to. "If you told me your secrets I would have told you to stop. You knew that. And that's why you didn't tell me because you didn't want to stop. You enjoyed the thrill and you didn't care about the consequences. You didn't care that it was your boyfriend's father. Or that he was a married man. Or that he was a fucking abusive bastard."
Silence echoed through the walls for a moment and Veronica shuddered with anger. Her eyes pierced Lilly's when she said, "So if my friends are doing some fucking shit that will get them hurt or worse. You're damn right I'm going to do something about it."
"Veronica-" Meg started but Veronica didn't give her the chance to let her play peacemaker.
Veronica turned to Meg, all of her hurt and anger clear on her face, she let out, "No! Did it ever occur to you that if you'd let me in on some of your secrets that you might still be alive today too?"
Meg drew back, stunned at Veronica's outburst at her. Veronica swallowed, her eyes screamed but her voice was now calmer when she said, "It wasn't your secrets that killed you, Meg, but it's what kept you on that bus."
Meg bit her lip and then shook her head. "You know, Veronica, if I hadn't acted like a bitch that day then you'd be dead too."
Veronica shook her head, the tears fell and they just wouldn't leave her alone to cry. She couldn't run from them but she so needed them to stop talking. She needed them to leave her alone. Why couldn't they just go? They hadn't said anything since Veronica's outburst but they were still there. She got in her car and drove to the Neptune Grand. Logan would make them disappear for a while. She made sure that she looked like she wasn't balling her eyes out because she knew that Logan would want to make her feel better with words instead of making love to her.
She sucked in a breath, silently prayed that he wouldn't question her and knocked on the door. Logan opened the door and was taken aback when Veronica threw herself into his arms and kissed him passionately. He held onto her, returned her kiss with equal fervour and kicked the door closed.
After a few minutes past and Veronica basically ripping his clothes off, he noticed something was off. Concerned, he asked, "What's wrong, Veronica?"
She shook her head and pressed her lips against his.
"Veronica," he halted her. "You OK?"
She swallowed, and she knew it'd be crazy to tell him that she had gotten into a fight with the spirits of Meg and Lilly. Usually, she took time for herself but she couldn't run away from them. And she couldn't ignore them forever, she'll try but she knew that they'll just drive her crazy with their bickering. The only time she got to herself, mentally, was when she was being intimate with Logan. Being almost naked, seemed like enough to keep them away. She looked up into his concerned eyes and his hand brushed her arm in a reassuringly.
She bit her lip and said, "I had this dream..."
A.N. Thank you so much for all the reviews, I don't say it much but I'm seriously in love with every word you write in them!
This isn't exactly a fun chapter but it was progressive, I think. And it felt good to write so I hope you still like it.