CHAPTER TEN

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A loud knock on the door startled Shanti and she turned away from the open text in front of her. She waited, unsure of whether or not she wanted to bother with whomever it was. Especially if it were Dean.

"Doctor?"

She relaxed when she heard Sam's voice on the other side, then closed her text. When she opened the door, she didn't find the same Sam Winchester she'd dealt with the past few days before her. Something was different in his eyes.

"Yes?"

"You lied to me."

"Sorry? I lied to you?"

"April 20th, 1992. The Manchester Evening News," he replied, voice still dead calm. The expression on her face slowly change from surprise into anger. "Leila Patil was reported missing by her parents to the Hyde police that day. She'd been missing for almost four."

"How dare you investigate me?" she hissed.

"I wouldn't have found it so strange if it was just the one lie." Sam raised an eyebrow, not fazed by her indignation. "April 17th, 1987, Manchester Evening News: 'Local Boy Not Dead, Miraculous Recovery'. If I did my math right, April 17th, 1992, is around five years from when your brother was miraculously 'cured'. Though, there was an article which confirmed one story you told me; your brother was killed in London on April 23rd, 1987."

"You had no right to -"

"Your sister made a deal, didn't she?" he cut her off. "Just didn't get the usual ten years." He moved in the doorway, to block her path when she tried to get by him. "That's why someone with your background would research demon deals in detail."

"You haven't any idea why I'm interested in such a thing," she snapped.

"Why else would you? What I don't understand is why you won't use your knowledge to help other people. And I know you know something."

Using all of her strength, she barely managed to shove her way past him and she hurried down the hallway, towards the front door.

Ellen looked up in time to see the doctor rush by the doorway of the living room. Soon after, the front door opened then slammed shut. Then Sam came to a stop there.

"Sam?" she asked as she came towards him. "What's the matter?"

He glanced at her then to Dean, who used an elbow to prop himself up on the sofa. "I plan to find out," he replied.

Ellen watched him leave the house then turned to Dean.

"What the hell's going on?" he asked as he got up and went over to the front window. He pulled back the curtain, then frowned. They were on the front porch, neither one seemed too happy about whatever it was. "This can't be good."

-

Outside, Sam stopped beside the doctor, who was seated on the top step of the porch. She kept her head bowed as she toyed with her two bracelets.

"What happened?" he finally asked in a low voice.

She didn't even glance up at him, she only shifted her attention to the darkening sky. On the horizon, storm clouds gathered. The occasional flicker of lightning was followed by a grumble of thunder.

"Anil had been ill for months," she softly began. She swallowed as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. "The doctors diagnosed him with acute lymphatic leukemia, which usually treatable in a nine-year-old, if caught early enough."

"But they didn't," Sam said as he sat down beside her.

"No."

"So Leila made the deal to cure him?"

"Not to cure him. By the time she'd summoned the demon, Anil was dead." She looked to Sam. He'd changed again; his look less aggravated and accusatory, more compassionate and sympathetic. "You must understand – Anil was never afraid or angry about leaving this world. Neither were my parents or I. Leila, however, wouldn't accept it. She'd become so distanced from her faith as a teenager."

"How did she even know how to summon a crossroads demon? You said you'd never been taught about demons like ours."

Her jaw tightened. "Her English friends," she muttered, a bitterness in her voice. "They'd told her stories of demons who could grant a person whatever he wished, for a price." She focused on the horizon again. "The night Anil died, Leila acted terribly strange. As soon as he passed, she fled the hospital. Little did I know at the time, she'd made her decision."

"Did she tell you what she'd done afterwards?"

"Oh, certainly not. She knew our parents would've been outraged." Her head bowed and she watched the colorful band spin around her wrist. "She allowed us to believe it was a gift from God. Which wasn't difficult for us to do, since Anil was very special."

Sam frowned. "Special?"

"He wasn't like other children. In India, he would've been considered a 'living saint'. Anil had unlimited compassion for all things. He exhibited amazing abilities now and again as well."

"Abilities?" he repeated. He couldn't help but wonder if Anil was like him - a "special kid". He knew there'd been others before him. Before Max, Andy, Jake, Ava, and who knew how many more.

As though she'd read his mind, Shanti assured him, "He wasn't like you, Sam." She paused when he looked to her. "His abilities were nothing like the kind you had. Or the others like you. His were as natural as everything else in our world."

He averted his gaze. "When did you realize it wasn't God responsible?"

"After Anil was killed in London," she replied. "Leila was absolutely off her trolley about how she'd been duped. I asked her what she was on about, that's when I learned the truth." She sighed. "I couldn't believe she'd done something so bloody selfish."

"Did your parents ever find out?"

She shook her head. "I knew how they would react. I promised Leila I would never tell." A few tears slid down her cheeks. "They still haven't any clue to this day."

"What happened after that?"

"That evening, of the day Anil died the second time, she went to confront the demon." Her fingers brushed away the tears and she shifted her gaze back to the sky. The air had turned chilly since the cold front moved in. "I'm ... I'm not quite sure why I did, but I went with her. I didn't know what to expect. Certainly not a dark-haired English woman in a black dress."

Sam glanced back at the house. He'd never come face to face with the crossroads demon himself but he remembered Dean's descriptions of the human hosts' it'd had both times he'd summoned it.

"They had quite a row. Leila demanded to know if her contract was still intact because of the accident. She told her it was, she had no control over what happened to a person after she'd brought him back. She'd done her part, Leila would do hers in five years time."

"Why did she receive five years? Normally, the deal is for ten."

"When one is desperate, one will take whatever one can get."

Sam glanced at the house again. A year. It was less than Leila had been granted. Why did the demon bargain for such a short time with Dean, though? Five years, ten years – either way, she would get what she wanted.

"Still, she claimed she could easily restore Anil's life to him once more." Her gaze met Sam's. "For the usual price."

"She wanted to deal for your sister's soul ... twice?"

"No. That was impossible for her."

His expression morphed from confusion to realization. "It wasn't for you."

She nodded as she removed her glasses to better clear the tears from her eyes. "No 12-year-old child should be faced with such a decision. Still, I refused. It wasn't proper." She sniffled. "When Leila looked to me, as though she'd expected me to agree, I ... I fled. Later, she accused me of not caring enough about Anil to save him from death. I told her she was the one who didn't care about him. He didn't need to be saved from death. The only person she wanted to save was herself. Save herself from the pain of losing him."

Sam lowered his gaze to the ground.

"She left the same night," Shanti quietly said. "She'd written a note, telling me she would return when she had her answers."

"About how to escape the deal."

"Yes. However, five years later, almost to the day, she returned home. I nearly didn't recognize her, she'd changed so much. She said she'd traveled throughout all of Europe, following the stories people told her about texts and scrolls which had the answers she wanted." She replaced her glasses. "These texts and scrolls had become things of legend and myth."

"But they weren't?"

"Oh, they're quite real." She looked at him. "I've seen them."

-

Dean leaned against the wall as he peered through the curtains. Sam and the doctor were seated on the porch steps – had been for a while now –, wrapped up in a conversation about God knew what. He wished at least he knew. He didn't like Sam being alone with that woman. Not just because she stuffed his head with all of her Hindu crap, but he was unusually involved with her. He'd initially believed it was a physical attraction. Woman was a bitch, but he wasn't blind. Neither was Sam. She wasn't bad-looking, rather pretty, nice body. Still, he didn't think it was the reason Sam gave so much of a damn.

He frowned. He'd stewed the entire afternoon about what he'd overheard her tell Sam; the garbage about his soul being lost, his spirit suffering because he'd been brought back from the dead. It was bullshit. Though, as he considered it, he'd wondered if there wasn't some element of truth to it. He couldn't deny Sam was different. Dean told himself it was to be expected – Sam was dead, then he wasn't. He'd looked death in the face twice himself – literally. Put things into perspective. For a while, anyway.

His mind flashed back to the night before, when Sam had said he hadn't asked to be brought back. At the time, it had stung more than Dean would admit. Now? He felt somewhat guilty. He'd never seen that look in Sam's eyes before – a mixture of resentment, anger and sadness.

"Why don't you sit down?"

Dean blinked as Ellen's voice roused him from his thoughts. He looked over to her. She sat on the sofa as she sorted through a box filled with paper and loose photographs.

"They'll be all right out there," she added, glancing at him.

Dean looked out of the window once last time then he sat down in the armchair and watched Ellen continue her work.

"Hey, Ellen?" he murmured after several moments of silence.

"What?"

"Do you think she's right? About what happened in the cemetery?" He paused but she just kept separating the photos from the paper scraps. "Do you think we're responsible for it, the Gate opening?"

She heavily sighed as she sat back on the sofa. She gazed at a picture clutched in her right hand. It was one of her and her husband, taken not long after they'd met, yet before either of them had become mixed up with this entire mess. They were different people then, she almost didn't recognize herself.

"Yes," she finally replied. Her gaze shifted to Dean. "I do." That obviously wasn't the answer he'd expected from her judging by the expression on his face. "I don't mean 'we' as in you, me, Sam and Bobby specifically."

"Then who? Only two other people were there."

Her thumb brushed over her husband's young face. "I mean all of us – hunters and those who're aware of what's goin' on. If we'd been more organized, less focused on ourselves and our own little corners of the world ... maybe we could've prevented it."

"Or maybe it wouldn't have made any difference." Dean leaned forward as Ellen looked to him. "Look at some of the people in our line of work, Ellen. You seriously believe Gordon would've jumped at the chance to activate Wonder Twin powers with us?"

"More than Gordon out there, Dean." She regarded him with a rather sympathetic expression now. "Too bad John never saw things that way." She looked to the photo. "Never did view other folk as allies, just a means to an end."

Dean's own gaze settled on the picture in Ellen's hand, which was turned enough in his direction he could clearly see it. It was a younger Ellen with a young man he assumed was Jo's father. He had to be – he resembled her too much. "I'm sorry," he quietly said.

Her head lifted and he could see the glint of tears in her eyes. "You know I don't hold that against you," she assured him. "It's done. In the past. We have tomorrow to worry about."

After a hesitation, he asked, "If you could, would you bring him back?"

Ellen tucked the photo into the box then shook her head. "No."

"Why not?"

She paused before she looked to him. "Losing him the first time was hard enough. I couldn't put myself through it again. Or Jo."

"Do you think I was being selfish, with what I did? About Sam?"

Ellen rose to her feet and place a gentle hand on one of his cheeks as she offered a sad smile. "I think you were just being human." With that, she left the living room and vanished into the kitchen.

-

"You made your connections through school?"

Shanti nodded. "It took several years, but I eventually located those in possession of these materials, the same information which had been the cause of death for so many." She let out a light breath. "Though, the smarter ones went into hiding. They've killed thousands over the years, those who were foolish enough to not to. As you've found out yourself, it isn't information their kind want out in the world."

Sam nodded. It made sense now. The constant moving, the isolation from the world and the hunter community, she had to do it. "And it's why you've never helped anyone," he assumed.

She looked away. "Actually, it isn't. We aren't restricted with the knowledge. We are allowed to reveal what we know."

"Then why -"

"To become involved with people such as you and your brother, it brings everything I strive to keep out of my life into it," she interrupted. Her eyes met his, he was confused again. "I mentioned you carried an 'evil' with you, and I know it makes no sense to you. But the way you do this ... this job, it's awful. Horrid, really."

"And you'd keep what you know from non-hunters because ...?" He waited for her to fill in the blank.

"If people were aware of what they had to do, they wouldn't."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"These things are not easy, Sam. After speaking with your brother, I can assure you, you've wasted your time coming to me. My answers will not help him."

"I didn't expect it to be easy. And why not let Dean decide for himself if it's what he does or doesn't want to do?"

"I already know he won't. I am sorry." Her features softened as she placed a hand on one of his. "The only thing I can offer to you which would be useful? Don't be there when they come for him, the hounds." She squeezed his hand. "That ... you don't want to witness."

"You saw them take Leila?"

"I couldn't help her then. What I can do is continue my research, find a way to release her soul from hell. If she remains there, she'll never have the opportunity to cleanse her karma. If she can't do that, she'll never be truly free."

Sam lifted his head as a memory struck him. "The night at the cemetery, Dean and I saw our father. When the Gate opened, he managed to escape Hell. Maybe your sister -"

She shook her head. "It isn't possible."

"Why isn't it?"

"Your father's situation was different. Also, the demon he'd forged his deal with was eliminated. Usually when that happens, the souls trapped in Hell, for whatever reason, by that particular demon are no longer bound. They are free to move forward."

"This is true for a crossroads demon, too?"

She noticed the glimmer of hope in his eyes. "It's not something I'd seen mentioned in any of the texts in relation to them. The rules vary between demon classes, Sam. Even so, it isn't an easy task to eliminate any demon. However, I cannot stress enough that I'm not certain it wouldn't do any good. Still, as I've told you, your father's situation wasn't like your brother's."

"What about those prayers, the ones to what's her name? Durga? You said she was a destroyer of demons. Would that help us?"

"To dispel or keep an evil demon away, yes. To eliminate one, no. Humans cannot summon Durga to destroy demons in the same manner you would summon a demon itself. It simply doesn't work that way."

He let out an aggravated breath as he stood up. "Then what good does any of it do?" he angrily asked. "I can't understand how you people fight against evil, Doctor."

"We don't have the same definition of 'evil' as you. True evil isn't what is out there." She gestured toward the dark horizon. Her hand rested on her chest. "It's here." It moved to her temple. "And here."

"We're not talking about philosophy," he sighed as he shook his head. "The duality of man doesn't apply here. Demons aren't like us."

"In your education, they are not. You only see the duality in humans, not the universe."

He looked down on her, his brow lifted. "What are you trying to tell me, demons are capable of good and evil, too?" He saw the expression on her face remain steady. He scoffed in disbelief. "You can't be serious. There is no way we're like them."

"In many ways, we are. These beings are in a similar situation – they've allowed everything negative in themselves to gain control. Disharmony surrounds them the same as it does when we allow it to happen within us. Selfishness, greed, hate, clinging to a physical world which we are not truly a part of ... We aren't so very different from them, Sam."

"It's not possible."

"We're all from the same source. The Maya, the illusion which has trapped us, it has trapped them as well -"

He held his hands up to cut her off. "I've given some thought to a lot of the things you've said the past few days. I can agree with parts of it." He pointed a finger at her. "Not this. Not with all I've seen and experienced. Even in only the past two years. The things these demons do? No human being could ever -"

"Are you so certain we couldn't?" she asked. "Human history has its share of horrors."

"Not like this."

Her expression turned sympathetic, almost sad. "I shouldn't expect you to understand, you've had a different education about the otherworld. You've been taught to fear it, to view it as something which doesn't belong. But to destroy them." She slowly rose to her feet, her eyes never leaving his. "It's to destroy one's own self."

He turned away. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I just can't believe that."

After a moment, Shanti touched a hand to his shoulder. When he turned, she nodded towards the house. "You should value you what time you have left with your brother," she quietly suggested. "I didn't even have such a luxury."

"I'm not giving up on him."

She smiled a little. "I know you won't." Her smile faded as she watched him go back into the house. Her gaze shifted to the sky as the lightning streaked across it.

Something terrible was on its way. She could feel it.

-

Dean dashed away from the window then jumped onto the sofa as Sam came back inside the house. He laid down and pretended to be lost in thought when his brother entered the living room. When Sam didn't say anything, he looked over to him and sat up when he noticed the look on Sam's face.

"Sam?" He approached him, concerned. "Hey, what's with you?" He grabbed him by the upper arms and shook him until Sam looked at him. "What's wrong?" He narrowed his eyes. "What'd she say to you this time?" He was surprised when Sam threw his arms around him, and pinned his own to his sides, as he hugged him. "Uh ... Sam?" He laughed rather uncertainly as he patted his brother on the back. "Okay, this is beyond weirding me out now."

Sam released Dean as he stepped back. "I'll see you in the morning," he quietly said then headed down the hall and up the stairs.

Dean slowly shook his head, baffled by what had taken place. What the hell was that about? He looked to his right as the front door shut again and Shanti stood just inside. "What'd you do to him?" he demanded as he pointed to the stairs.

"I'm sorry?" Her brow furrowed as she came closer. "Do?"

"He's acting stranger than usual."

A faint smile crossed her lips. "Oh, is he? How so?"

"He hugged me, for no reason," he grumbled.

Her smile grew a bit wider. "I'm quite sure he had a reason for it," she replied. "Good night, then."

Dean's eyes narrowed in a suspicious manner as the woman passed by him and continued down the hall.

Ellen appeared in the kitchen door way, a mug in both of her hands. She noted the strange look on Dean's face. "Everything all right?"

"That was, hands down, the creepiest moment of my life," he stated.

Her eyebrows arched. "What happened?"

He pointed down the hall. "She was actually nice to me."

-

End Chapter Ten