A/N: Word of advice...Y'all are equally as important. Don't forget that.
And yes...I wrote this chapter according to how I'm feeling irl. (which happened a long time ago) (feeling better now ;3)
Please enjoy?
Erza sat silently at her table while looking at the blonde across the table, being adamant on what to say and what to not say.
Lucy kept her glaze on the table, not wanting to talk about this, but she knew that Erza will force her to talk about it anyway. And she also has a feeling she already knows what happened if Erza had already talked to get father.
After a few moments of silence between them, Erza spoke up. "Lucy, you can tell me. I can help."
Lucy sighed before looking up at Erza. "And how can you help? I don't need help. You probably know everything now. So what do you need from me?" She spoke with a silent snarl.
"I don't need anything from you...but...I want you to know that I'm here for you. That you can talk to me about anything." Erza's said, trying to choose her words carefully.
"There is nothing to talk about. Why don't you just go and hang out with the others?" Lucy spat out.
"I want to be here...with you."
"Because you're afraid I might cut myself again? Because you don't trust me?" Lucy clenched her fist harder as she stared back at the older woman.
Erza was silent for a moment, trying to choose her words carefully. "I'm here as a friend."
"A friend? I think it's more of an obligation that you have to do. I'm sure you don't want to be here..."
"Of course I want to be here...You should know that. I won't let a friend suffer upon my behalf." Erza spoke with determination.
"No...I don't believe that. That's... Your motto, your...way to make sure you don't relive your past again."
Erza abruptly stood, a sudden pain shitting through her heart. "My past...has nothing to do with this."
Lucy stood up as well and stared at the older woman. "Jellal...Simon...and the others..."
"They has nothing to do with this!"
"Whatever happened on that tower... happened. And this guild? Fairy Tail? Think of it like the second tower of heaven. And knowing you, you'll do anything to stop anyone from dying or doing stupid shit. Like Natsu ravaging towns and-"
"ENOUGH!" Erza slammed the table and stared at the blonde in shock.
"It's the truth, and don't deny it. You're suffering...as much as I am." Lucy continued.
Erza took deep breathes to hold in her anger and look the younger girl. "Yes...I suffered after the tower. But...having friends...friends to help you. They give you new meanings. A chance to do protect someone you love."
"You know...I've tried that...losing my pain by hanging out with y'all. And to be honest? It worked. Until the phantom incident."
"Your father..." The knight muttered.
"I'm guessing you didn't see how I was suffering after that. Because that...was when I started to cut myself." Lucy motioned to her stomach, indicating the scars that were present on her skin.
"Lucy..."
"You guys were too busy with other stuff to really care. And it just proved my point. Y'all aren't my friends."
"You were hiding it!" Erza gritted her teeth.
"And aren't friends supposed to notice?"
Erza clenched her fists and glared at the blonde. "Friends...supposed to trust each other."
"I have...trust issues, if u didn't already know that."
Erza silently sighed before moving around the table and moved toward the blonde. But Lucy only stepped backward away from the redhead in anger.
"I'm tired." Lucy muttered.
"Then rest."
"No...I'm tired of your lies. Go and hang out with your other friends. They are more easier to fool than me."
Erza looked at Lucy, wondering how deep the scars ran. "I never lie...you should know that."
"Everyone lie. Even I do. You should know that."
Erza tried reaching out for Lucy again, but the blonde recoiled from her again. "Do you trust me?"
"No," was her immediate response.
"Lucy...what...did your father do to you?"
Lucy remained silent, and remained still as she stared at the redhead. "I thought you already knew. Considering how nosy you are."
"I'm trying you help you, Lucy. Please let me help you."
"If you want to help, then leave me alone."
"No. I'm not leaving you." Erza remained glued to the ground.
"Stubborn bitch..." Lucy muttered under her breath as she walked into the kitchen, wanting to get away from the nosy mage.
Erza silently followed the girl. "Tell me...why are you trying to kill yourself?"
The pale girl stopped and turned around and looked at the older woman dead in the eyes. "D-Do you ever get that feeling in your chest...where...something feels off?"
"U-Um...I'm afraid I'm not following?" Erza frowned.
"It's like...that feeling of excitement of happiness...only...that it isn't. It's like...you're anxious. Like...being busted for something that you know was coming. And you find it hard to breathe. Know that feeling?"
Erza frowned more. "Yes."
"That's been my life for a very long time. And you guys? Y'all were the distraction I needed. But it didn't last forever."
"What do you feel? Under the circumstances of that...condition?" Erza asked.
"What do you think?" Lucy crossed her arms.
Erza thought about the words Lucy had spoken, and the actions she had taken before. Being anxious. Cutting herself. She could only think of one thing... Or a couple. "Depression... Sadness... Longing?"
"Longing? Where the hell did you get that from?" Lucy raised an eyebrow.
"Just an superstition I have."
Lucy huffed. "Well that's a stupid superstition I've ever heard."
"Lucy...I know you. If you wanted to kill yourself so badly...then you wouldn't be here right now. You would've been long dead."
"You don't know anything."
"I think you're calling for help. You need comfort. You been through a lot. Your father? Your father won't hurt you again. I made sure of it."
"Perhaps you did throw him in jail...but it won't change the fact to what he had done to me. That won't change...ever. You...of all people should know that."
"Why say that?"
"Your old crush...Jellal...he betrayed you. Threatened you. Killed your friends. Especially Simon. They died a dog's death."
Erza had enough and grabbed Lucy by her wrist and held it tightly. "Don't talk about them like that."
"I just did..." Lucy whispered.
Erza was speechless. The Lucy she knew...she didn't know where she was right now. She doesn't even know who she's talking to. Lucy would never say these hurtful things.
"The same might happen at this guild...if you're not with them."
"What are you talking about?"
"How can you protect your friends if you're with me?"
Erza let go of Lucy and stepped back. "I am protecting them. You're my friend. And I'm trying to protect you."
"No one is hurting me."
"Perhaps...but you're hurting yourself."
Lucy stared at the older woman. "This is my body. I'm...merely decorating my body with memories."
"I'm not buying that Lucy."
"Oh, I'm sorry, it's not for sale."
Erza gritted her teeth. "Please...let me help you."
"Help? I don't need it." Lucy crossed her arms.
"Why!? Why aren't you letting me help you?! Why aren't you letting me in!?" Erza was desperate. She wanted to help Lucy. She wanted to ensure the safety of the blonde. She wanted her Lucy to happy.
Lucy backed away as Erza raised her voice. "That's personal."
Erza stalked closer to the blonde. "Whatever it is, it's eating you up. It's tearing you apart! Please tell me. Help me end your suffering."
Lucy didn't say anything. She only stared at the girl in front of her.
When she didn't get any response, Erza steppes closer. "Lucy. Let me help you."
"No."
"Maybe you're right, Erza."
"What?" The knight mage was taken aback for a split second.
"It is eating me up. My depression. My anger. Sadness. Regret. And you're right. It's getting worst."
Erza remained silent, sensing that the blonde had more to say, and is trying to figure out what she was trying to say.
"It...wasn't that bad in the beginning. I had fun with y'all. It was...a perfect distraction to actually live my life. But..."
"The phantom incident..." Erza muttered...knowing that was when it all started.
Lucy nodded. "Those feelings that I tried to forget? They came crashing down on me. First was anger. Then regret. Then my depression about the truth."
"The truth?" Erza repeated questioningly.
"No matter what you do...you can't change it. You can't... Run away from it. Because it'll follow you to the end. Until you draw your final breath."
Erza frowned as she looked at Lucy. "You wanted to die to escape it all?"
Lucy glared at the redhead, knowing full well that she could never understand what she is feeling. They all will never understand. The voices in her head, they understand. "You wouldn't understand."
"Help me understand then." Erza looked almost desperate now. She didn't want to lose Lucy. Not now or ever. She doesn't want that.
"You still won't understand."
"You need to stop this...This...is being selfish. I-I...how would you think we'd feel if you killed yourself?" Erza muttered.
Lucy looked at the redhead. "Like...a pest had been eliminated. A burden now gone."
"Is that how you think you are?!"
"It's...what the voices been saying."
Erza frowned and narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Voices."
"My subconscious. The voices in my head."
"Y-You...voices?" Erza stuttered.
"They tell me things. Good and bad. Mostly tell me the truth."
Erza was almost afraid to find out the truth. "What is it?"
"That I'm worthless." Lucy spoke like she believed in it.
Erza looked at the blonde before walking in front of you and grabbed her hands and held it tightly so she won't recoil from her. "Worthless...is not in our vocabulary in Fairy Tail. You...are strong. And powerful."
Lucy tried tugging her hands away, but found she couldn't, so she just glared at the girl in front of her. "I don't care."
"That's fine. But know this...you are in our perspective. And we have immense respect for you."
Lucy could almost say that she forgot what having respect is like. She could say she respected her father...before he changed. After that...Lucy found it hard to respect other people. "That holds no meaning to me."
"Lucy...I-"
"Hey guys!" The door slammed open and Mira walked straight in with a smile.
"Mira? What are you doing here?" Erza turned her head to face the barmaid.
"Just wanted to check up on y'all. And also, Master wanted me to give you a message Erza." Mira smiled while looking at the redhead.
"Is it urgent?" Erza frowned.
Mira nodded.
Erza sighed before looking at Lucy, who only gave her a silent glare while remaining quiet. "Mira, can you watch Lucy for me?"
"It would be my pleasure." Mira smiled.
"I don't need a babysitter." Lucy hissed at the redhead.
Erza looked at Lucy. "I'm no risking you hurting yourself again."
"Why do you care?" Lucy then tried whipping her hands away from Erza's and stepped back.
Erza sighed before turning to Mira. "Don't let her do anything rash."
Mira nodded and watched as the redhead walked out of the room before turning yo a blonde who was glaring at her.
"Wanna play a game?" The barmaid smiled gently.
...
Erza quickly made her way to the guild, wondering what was so important to have her leave Lucy's side.
Once she was outside Makarov's door, she quickly knocked and opened it and sees the master standing near his desk, along with a messenger.
It wasn't long till they noticed her presence.
Makarov turned to Erza. "Erza, brat. Please come here."
Erza complied and walked closer to the two men. "Is anything wrong master?"
Makarov merely turned to the messenger. "Tell her what you told me."
The messenger turned to the young mage. "The man you arrested earlier. For child abuse I believe? He escaped."
"What?" Erza was surprised to hear this. "How, what happened?!" She walked front of the mage and immediately intimidated the man.
"There were others...that had helped him escaped. That broke him out."
Erza stepped back and cursed under her breath. This wasn't good. This means Lucy may get hurt again.
A/N: This story was getting really boring... So I decided to do something different. Is it any better?
umm...plz review and comment on ur thoughts?
Toodles!~~