Who ever said that the pain of loosing loved ones would get better is a fucking liar. Every day I wake up and for a few moments I am ok. Then I remember, I remember that she will not be here. That I will not see her, touch her, hold her. That's when the pain in my chest begins. It has been a year, and everyday is the same. I don't even feel alive. Once I become accustom to the pain, everything begins to numb. I push myself to get through the day, my movement are robotic, everything that I do is based on muscle memories. Koji has called me the walking dead, and I have to agree with him.
"Sui, man you need to stop it. You can't keep torturing yourself. Hisako, she would not want this for you." Koji sits down next to me on the hill looking over the dock. I grimace, he should not be here. This was our space. This is the hill that we sat on every night. This is the hill that I sit on by myself every night.
"You should not be here Koji." I growl at him. He snorts at me and shifts next to me.
"No, you should not be here. You are not a ghost, but that is what you are acting like. She died not you."
"Oh, thank you for clarifying that Koji, I was not aware of that." I snap. I might as well have died. Loosing Hisako was the last straw, there is only so much a man can loose before madness takes over. He just sits still and sighs. What does he want from me? What do they all want from me? To forget? To forgive? I could not do either. I was still hurting and I was still fucking pissed. She chose death over me.
"I was planning on going into town tomorrow. You want to come with?" Koji asks breaking the strained silence that had fell between us. I just shake my head knowing the boy was watching me like a hawk. Another long sigh comes from him. "Okay, if you change your mind let me know." A strong breeze pushes past us, blowing my hair in all directions. "There is a storm coming, don't let yourself get caught up." He stands and stills for a moment before finally walking away. I am grateful. I just want to be alone.
I have contemplated ending it all. So many times I thought about taking my life. Sometimes I don't know what stops me. No, that is a lie. I know what stops me, actually there are two things. The first was the promise I made to Yosh all those years ago. That I would not try again. They may be gone, but Noni, Yosh and Koji are here and also reeling from the loss. I could not do that to them, having to place another headstone in the forest. How much would they hate me if I made them do that? Then there is the fact that i didn't know what happened after death. If there was a place where all the other souls went. How angry would Hisako be if I met her there through actions of my own hand? She died saving people, how much shame would my suicide bring to her? This time it would be senseless, no reason besides ending my own suffering.
The more I thought about it the more guilt began to pool in my stomach. Dear gods, how much pain must I have cause the rest of them? I know that it had to be hard to be around me. I have been so caught up in my grief and pain, I selfishly never though about them. I shake my head and let it fall into my hands. How could I be so stupid? Noni, she lost most of her kids. She may have hated when we said she was like a mother, but that is what she was. A gruff, cursing mother, but also so kind and loving. Yosh was the same. How could I not see past myself? I suddenly felt very ashamed.
The loud crack of thunder brought myself out of my thoughts. The storm was coming faster then I anticipated, or perhaps I have been sitting here for longer. That was a good possibility. Stiffly I rose and slowly walked back to the inn. I knew that there was nothing that I could do about making the past better, but I knew I needed to try. I owed it to them. I owed it to everyone who is no longer with me. I needed to start living again.
So saying that I would start living again was much easier said then done. I still felt as if I was being pulled down into a black pit. The difference now was that I was fighting. I was fighting tooth and nail to get out. Fake it till you make it, was pretty much my motto for a while. I would force myself to smile, to laugh, to talk. Slowly they became genuine. Each day it was like a little of the weight that was on me was chipped away. Was I happy? Not exactly, but I was able to find happy moments. Though when the night rolled in I always remembered that I was alone.
"Seriously how do we always get the roosters with an attitude?" I yell out at I slam the chicken coop. I stand there for a moment glaring at where I thought the bastard bird was. "I can't wait to butcher you, you asshole." I throw the empty feed bucket down. Really, it had to attack me while I was fucking feeding it? Every rooster we ever had seemed to have some type of vendetta against me. This one, well he was really quick, he was actually able to slice his talon across my calf. A rough laugh from behind me made me jump.
"Chickens causing you to let down your guard huh?" Noni laughed. "Seriously what do you do to piss them off so much?" I just snort and shrug.
"I do nothing besides feed and water them, but they apparently do not think I am not adequate." I reach down and search for the pale that I threw. Once my fingers feel the smooth metal I quickly pick it up with a huff. I turn to go barn when I am stopped by a small hand on my shoulder.
"Shisui, it's nice to have you back." Noni said softly. I turn my head and cock it in her direction. A small sigh comes from her. "I know that loosing them was hard on you. You really had all of us worried for a while. It's nice to see emotion from you, even if it is getting pissed at the chickens." She squeezed my shoulder lightly.
"I have not told anyone this in ages, but I was married. I was young, everyone thought that we were too young. Everyone besides my parents. They loved him, the moment they met he became a part of the family. He worked here with us at the inn. It was amazing. That was until he went with my parents on the fishing boat. The boat was taken over by robbers, we assume. Anyways all three of them were found on the bank two weeks after they took off. My world stopped. I know how it is. The only thing that brought me back was when I happened upon Goro. Then the other kids. They gave me a second chance at life. They gave me meaning. I know that you didn't see, but I was shut down there for a while also... I mean I wasn't always such a bitch." She laughed, as I grimaced. I roughly ran my hand over my face. Selfish. I had been so selfish in my grief.
"I am sorry." Those are the only words that I can come up with. She just pats my shoulder and walks away.
Two years. It had been two years since they died. I am living. I no longer just numbly go through my days. I take notice of the people around me... Hell I actually interact with people around me. I use words instead of grunts and hn's. Though every day I can feel the ache in my heart from them, but I am getting used to it. I don't think that the pain will ever stop, but I am not sure that I want it to. I mean it lets me know that they were real, that they meant something to me.
As I approached the two year mark, I was having a difficult time sleeping. Every night, I remember the last day that I had with her. The promise that she refused to make about coming home. She didn't want to make promises that she could not keep. I understand, but I wish that I could hear the words come from her mouth once. I wake up every time I feel her leave my embrace. I avoid sleep at all costs. I can't keep saying goodbye each night, multiple times a night.
A week has passed since the second anniversary of their deaths, and I was still having problems sleeping. I would often find myself wandering through the inn, or through the woods. It was honestly a relief, these midnight walks. It was the only time that I could let go of my emotional guards. I have been trying to be happier while Noni, Yosh, and Koji are around. So while every one else slept I could just drop the act. I could let my mind run blank, get pissy, or grieve without anyone around. Well that was until the night that I met her.
Another night had me up and walking the island, the night was crisp with a slight breeze. It was refreshing to feel on my skin after having such a warm spring. I was enjoying the sensation so much that I almost walked right past the foreign chakra that was in an open field in the woods. My stride slowed as I felt it. Who the hell was out here so late? I stilled as I analyzed it. No this was not a guest from the inn, nor had I felt it in town. It was light and airy and powerful all at the same time. They had to be a ninja, no civilian I had ever met had a chakra signature like that. I try and think if we did have any shinobi in the inn, but I was positive that we didn't at the time. In fact the amount of ninjas that passed through had drastically gone down since the war. Since the peace between the nations began. Why was this one here?
I concealed my chakra as I slowly made my way near the field. They didn't seem to be moving too much at all. It almost seemed like they were looking for something. I swallowed thickly. I didn't know if Koji had been practicing in this field. Perhaps they were looking for proof of ninja. There had been rumors that since the nations were no longer engaged in conflict with each other their attention had turned to nukenin. While technically Koji was not a nuke, he could be thought of a one, since he did not pledge his loyalty to any of the lands. With him being so powerful, a dynomo or kage would want him for their military. I was not going to let that happen. He had lost too much in aiding countries that never did anything for him. I could not loose him also.
My thoughts were broken when I noticed that I no longer felt the light airy chakra anymore. Now I felt something dark, stormy, oppressive. All I could think is that they had found something. They knew that there are ninjas here. They would not be leaving this island. I was going to make sure of that. I approached the stranger quickly and silently. They had no clue that I was there. I was getting excited thinking about the battle that was going to happen. It had been a long time since I had a challenging fight, and why not have a bit of fun before I dispose of them?
I keep to the tree line when I pull a kunia out of my pocket. I take my time to learn were thier position was. When I was satisfied that I had pinpointed them I whipped my blade so it landed right next to them as I let my chakra flare. They would know I was coming. I smirk as I hear the gasp that comes from them. They lower themselves into a defensive stance. I casually walk out into the clearing.
"You have come to the wrong island ninja." I drawl as I take a step forward. They do not reply to me, instead just snort and let their chakra flare. Ohh this was going to be interesting. It had indeed been a long time since I felt anyone so strong, and the killing intent was just as rolling off of them. I should be weary, anyone sane would, but I guess it had been a long time since my mind would be thought of as healthy.
"I am going to give you this chance to clear out, and forget about this place. Otherwise I will have to take you out." I pull another kunai and place myself in a defensive stance. I get another response that is surprising. There was a light giggle. My muscles tense at the noise. It sounded like her. That wasn't possible was it? Could she be alive? Could Koji been wrong. The shock that runs through my body had me lowering my weapon. The girl took advantage of my distraction and sent a senbon aimed at my throat. I regained composure just in time to hear the weapon whistling for me. I dodge the attack at the last moment. No. There is no way that this was Hisako. There was no way she would attack me, and with a senbon no less. I snort at my apponet and body flicker infront of them. I land a quick jab at her side, but she moves quickly and comes after me with a series of kicks and fists.
We had been fighting for nearly a half an hour, and no words were exchanged. I was right about her she was formidable. She had blocked as many hits as I have, and I had been able to land as many as she did. I was growing frustrated at the pace of the fight. I leap back and start the signs for a fire ball. I really wanted to use Koji's jutsu, but I didn't want to burn down the island. I don't think Noni would appreciate that.
She darts the fire ball and I hear a loud sigh come from her. I don't let her catch her breath and send out a fire phoenix. That one hits her I can hear her hiss and the smell of skin being burnt. Her chakra darkens even more and the killing intent was far stronger then any I had experienced lately.
"ENOUGH!" The woman yelled then suddenly the ground was trembling violently under me. I was blind. I could not see with vibrations and seeing with chakra was disorienting since it kept falling into cracks of the earth. My senses were so overwhelmed with the strong movement that I couldn't even try and track her chakra I blindly blow another fireball, and just hope it hits my target. There was a laugh to my left, nope didn't hit her, just actually blew it in the wrong direction. Then the earth once again shifted under my feet. What the hell was this? I have fought earth types and while the vibrations became stronger when they released a jutsu, it was never like this. I wait for the earth to still and attempt to find the girls chakra signature. Smart girl, seemed like she masked it. I then notice that the air around me became thick with moisture. This I could use to my advantage. Instead of letting my chakra crawl through the ground instead I infuse the mist with it. Immediately I was able to find her. I flicker behind her and grab her hair, I hold a Kunai to her kidney.
"Well it was fun while it lasted sweetie." I whisper into her ear. She just grunts as she grasps the hand that it holding her hair. Just as I am about to sink my blade into her she squeezes my hand. No not squeezes, she crushes me hand. I could feel the bones shatter and I drop my kunai out of shock.I groan as she squeezes even tighter causing the bones to crack and snap even more. She turns quickly and sweeps a leg behind mine causing my to fall hard on my back. Before I could even move her hips are straddling me, my hands caught under her knees, and I can feel something sharp against my neck.
"I take no pleasure in death." The woman hissed at me. I couldn't help the laugh that erupts from me. She doesn't take pleasure from death, well her chakra certainly says different. "So I have you pinned and you find that humorous? You are an odd ninja. Who are you?" I just snort at her and she pushes he blade harder into my neck. "Why did you attack me?" Even if I wanted to answer the pressure she put on my throat really did make it impossible. I raise my brow to her. This was not how I thought this fight would turn. She lets out a drawn out sigh then I feel a hand grab the bandage around my eyes and then pulls it off roughly. I feel the air move as she sharply takes an intake of breath.
"You have no eyes. How is that possible?" The shock of what she uncovered caused her body to relax, I took full advantage of her distraction. Quickly I push her off and flicker away a few feet. To be honest I am unsure of what to do. She had plenty of time to kill me, but she didn't.
"Who are you?" I cough out. My voice rough from the pressure that she applied. I hear a light laugh, then I notice that the stormy chakra began to recede. Slowly it was becoming light and airy. The change causes my brows to furrow.
"Why should I answer your questions? After all you are the one that attacked me." I wish I could roll my eyes. I just snort at her.
"Well honey, I was not the one that had killing intent rolling off of me. That while being a intruder on private property. This is my land little ninja." I take a step forward, and prepare for her to strike.
"What killing intent?" Her voice was filled with confusion. "Ohhhh... No... There was no killing intent. I was just thinkin about something." Her voice was sheepish I hear the grass crunch as she shuffled her feet.
"Thinking? Thinking changes your chakra that much. I am sorry sweetie, but I am having a hard time believing that." The only time when chakras got that dark was when some one was thinking about killing.
"No, I really wasn't. I mean yeah I got pissed, and I may have thought that I wanted to punch my friend. I mean really is it that hard to return a dish in a proper amount of time. She has no consideration, and I use that casserole a lot." She huffed. Her chakra becoming stormy once again, but quickly dissipating
"Anyways, I tend to have a short temper." She took a deep breath. I know that I am now just standing there with a dumb expression on my face. A casserole? This was about a casserole? I just shake my head. She's telling the truth, I can feel the embarrassment coming off of her.
"What are you doing out here. I know that you are not a guest of the inn. I would have recognized your chakra." I ask as I run my hand roughly through my hair.
"Oh, no I have not checked in yet. There is this flower that only blooms at night. It has amazing medical propertied to it. It's pretty rare and only grows in a few placed, and this island is one of them. I talked to the inn keeper, Noni, and she said that it wouldn't be an issue." I could hear her moving around gathering something around her. Great. I just attacked a guest. My hand met my face as I slowly drug my fingers down.
"Oh gods, I am sorry. Noni didn't tell me we were receiving any guests this late. Oh shit, I am sorry." I shake my head and smirk, I can feel the blood and warmth fill my cheeks.
"It's fine, but I am glad we figured this out before one of us killed the other." She laughed. There was a moment of awkward silence that passes. "Well I don't think that i'll be finding any of the flowers now. I mean we kinda decimated this field." She sighed. "Guess I should probably get checked in."
"I am sorry, " I grimace and shift uncomfortably. "Hey, do you know where my blind fold went?" I ask as I touch my eyes. I hear her say "Oh," then made her way to me and placed the fabric in my hands. I nod as I pull it over my eyes, grateful that the knot was still intact. I could feel her eyes on me. "Well, do you want to follow me to the inn?"
"Yes, that would be great. I am sorry about the whole fight.. Ummm. Jeeze, we didn't even introduce ourselves. My name is Sakura. Haruno Sakura from Kohona." She reached out and gabs my hand I hiss at her touch and quickly withdraw. "Shit! I forgot that I did that. Here, I can heal it." She roughly grabs my hand and pulls it to her. I grit my teeth as the pain radiates up my arm. There is suddenly a cool numbing sensation that goes into my hand, it was an odd feeling having my bones realign and knit back together.
"Sui." I grunt out
"Hmmm?"
"My name it's Sui." She lets go of my hand, and I flex it. It was completely healed. My brow raises as I note the absence of any pain. I have been healed before, but never so thoroughly.
"No last name?"
"No, just Sui. Family issues." I smirk at her.
"Oh I am sorry." I can hear the frown in her voice.
"It happened long ago, no need to be sorry. This way." I nod my head in the direction of the inn. She grunts then begins to follow after me. The walk was quite, but not uncomfortable. Then it suddenly hits me. She said she was from home. "So you are from Kohona?" I ask nonchalantly.
"Yep. I am a hidden leaf shinobi." She jogs a bit so she it walking right next to me. "Where are you from? I mean are you a retired ninja? I mean I never met a civilian that can fight like that. Not to mention some one that is blind. How can you fight blind? Have you ever had eyes? How is it even possible. Can I have a look at your eyes." She talked fast. Way too fast. And asked way too many questions. It was like the girl had no filter.
"Ummmm." I turned my head in the direction of her voice. I didn't want to answer her questions, actually all I wanted to do was to get away from her.
"Oh, I am sorry. I didn't mean to pry. But you are actually quite impressive, and I can't stop myself when something strikes my curiosity. I mean who would ever run into a blind ninja." She nervously laughed.
"Hn." I didn't quite know what to say to the girl. I mean just a half an hour ago we were at each others throats. Now she wants to know everything about me. Well that was not going to happen. Especially since she was from the leaf.
"You know you remind me of some one." She sing songed next to me.
"Yeah, and who is that?" I quirk a brow at her.
"Just some one that I have known for a long time. But seriously are you going to answer any of my questions? " No I am not going to. I quicken my pace.
"Looks like we are home. I'll go fetch Noni, and she will get you checked in. It was nice to meet you Haruno Sakura." I open the door to the lobby and nod my head.
"Thank you Sui, hopefully we can talk again?" She asked as she slowly...really she was walking too slow... past me.
"Perhaps," I say as I walk in after her. No, I do not want to talk to this girl again. I pray that her stay is short.
I quickly walk to Noni's room and let her know that Sakura was waiting to check in. I quietly return to my room. I sigh as I close the door. I am going to have to lie low to avoid the girl. I am pretty sure that there is no way she would be able to connect me to Kohona, not after all this time. I can't risk it though. I flop down in my bed, and fight to go to sleep.
Morning came too fast and too slow at the same time. I could barely sleep, and then the moment that I do find sleep, only a second after I drift, it's time to get up. I groan as I roll over and pull myself up. I stiffly stand up and slowly dress for the day. I walk down to the kitchen in a fog. This fucking insomnia was kicking my ass. I plop down on a chair, letting my head rest in my hands. There was a clank of a dish in front of me, as a large hand pats my back.
"Rough night?" Yosh asks as he takes the seat next to me. I just grunt as I begin to eat the broiled fish and rice. "Maybe you should look into getting some medicinal tea for sleep. You know there is a shinobi who is a medic here, maybe you shoul..."
"NO." I say with far too much force. I clear my throat as I put my chopsticks down. "I mean I don't want to take advantage of a guest. Next time we go into town I will ask the apothecary shop for a blend." I shrug then begin to eat again. There was a sharp squeal of a chair being dragged against the floor.
"Morning kid." Noni said in a gruff sleep laden voice. Koji's morning greeting came shortly after. We ate for a while in a comfortable silence. None of us were much of morning people. No, the ones that were are no longer with us.
"Sui, Koji is going to take your chores today." Noni said as she took the empty dish in front of me. Koji coughed and my brow shot up. "You will be giving a guest a tour of the island. That shinobi that came in yesterday." Now was my turn to cough.
"I think that Koji would be better at giving her a tour. I can do his chores." I drum my fingers on the table, trying to hide my annoyance.
"I can give a tour." Koji perked up.
"No can do, she asked for you. Seems you made an impression on her." I sigh as I let my head slam on the table.
"Wait, a girl was asking for Sui? What does she look like?" Koji asks as he pats the top of my head. To turn my face towards him and scowl.
"What does it matter?" I growl at him.
"Well if she it hot..."
"I am not interested in getting with anyone." I scrunched my nose at him and shake my head.
"No one is getting together with anyone. Koji, you will do Sui's chores for today. Sui you will be meeting with the ninja in twenty minutes in the dinning hall." Noni growled at us. I just sigh and sit back in my chair. This was fucking great. Amazing actually. The only person on this island that I would chew my leg off to stay away from, and now I was stuck with her all day.
I slowly sip my tea. I figure that I can put her off if I show to her table late. Unfortunately Noni didn't allow me to be terribly late. She forced my into the dinning room fifteen minutes after I was told to meet with Sakura. I take a deep breath and search for her chakra, once I find her table and take a seat next to her.
"I apologize for being late." I grumble next to her.
"Ohh believe me, that is nothing. My team leader, he has made us wait for four hours. So fifteen minutes is basically on time to me." She laughed. I can hear he chopsticks hitting her plate. "And I am not done eating. I apologize also. If you could give me five minutes to finish up." I just nod at her and lean back in my seat. We sit there in a tense silence for a few moments while she ate. I was not interested in being nice, hopefully she would stop trying to pry into my life. "Not a morning person?" She asked sweetly.
"No." I huff out.
"So you only flirt when you fight?" I could hear the smirk in her words. I raise my brow and turn my head towards her.
"Excuse me?" I ask as I scratch the back of my neck.
"Well you did use a lot of pet names during the fight. After we figured out the issues, you stopped. So I was wondering if you only reserved flirting for fighting." A soft slurp came from her as she drank her tea. Before I could answer Koji pulled the seat next to me and sat down.
"Sui? Flirt? Did I hear you correctly?" Koji laughed. I turn my head and scowl at him. Sakura just let out a soft laugh.
"Well I am not sure. But your friend did call me sweetie and honey a few times last night." Koji coughs in shock.
"Really?" Koji asks. I can feel his gaze on me. I just grunt and sink in my seat. "Wow Sui, it's been a while since I have heard you call anyone that." I grimace at his light tone. "I am sorry I have been rude. I am Koji, Sui's brother. It is nice to meet you."
"Wow, brother's huh I would have never put you two as brother... Oh I am sorry. I am Sakura. It is nice to meet you Koji-san." I can hear the wood creak in the chairs as the lean in to shake each others hands.
"Just Koji is fine. We aren't really into honorifics here. And that lump there isn't my biological brother. Adopted. Glad I don't share the same DNA with him." Koji laughs. I just shake my head.
"You would be lucky to share DNA." I growl. "Are you ready to go?"
"Umm yeah sure. Let me just run to my room and get my pack. I'll met you by the lobby exit?" She asks as she stands up. I nod my head in her direction and listen as her foot steps grow softer as she walks away from me.
"She looks familiar." Koji mumbled next to me. I just shrug as I stand up.
"I wouldn't know." I begin to walk away.
"She is hot. Just thought you want to know." Koji laughs.
"I don't know if I trust your version of hot. Not that it really matters. I am not interested." I turn and head to the lobby. I frown as I wait for her. Why was Koji trying to push this girl on me? I had no interest at all in any other women. No the one that claimed me may be gone, but her brand is still on my heart.
"Good to go?" Sakura chirps as she skips down the stairs. I nod as I shove my hands into my pockets and walk out to the front lawn. "Ok well first thing that I am looking for are open fields that do not have alot of foot traffic. There should be several herbs that I am looking for in and area like that. Then I will need an area, if it is possible, that has a small water source. Like a pond or a stream." I grunt and begin to walk to a small open field on the north side of the island. She follows after me quietly. We walk for a while with out any words exchanged. It was a bit awkward, but it's better then her prying. I was thankful for the silence.
"You're kinda quite." Well good things never seem to last, do they?
"Hn." She laughs at my answer, I just turn my head and raise my brow at her.
"Yeah, just like him." She murmurs. I just shake my head and keep on walking.
"Here we are." I nod in the direction of the field.
"So we are." Her voice was warm, she quickly moves into the field and begins to search for her herbs. I sigh and lean against a tree waiting for her to conclude her search, but I have a feeling that it she will be crawling on the ground for a while. I slide down the tree and take a seat letting a long yawn out. I rest the back of my head against the tree. Perhaps this isn't as bad as I thought. Maybe I would be able to catch up on some sleep. "So you never answered and of my questions from last night." Or not. I just let out a sigh and lift my chin to point to the sky.
"What questions are those?" I drawl. I knew I was going to have to tell the girl something, she didn't seem to be the type to back off.
"Well are you a shinobi?" Her voice was muffled, she must be facing away from me.
"No I am not a shinobi. I work at the inn." I reply in a board tone.
"Oh, well how did you learn how to fight like one?" Her voice became clearer. I know that she is now looking at me. I bite the inside of my lip.
"Why are you so curious?" I turn my head so I crack my neck.
"Yeah I am curious! I mean how often do you come across a blind ninja. I mean it really should not be possible." She walked over to me and stood in front of me. "Do you mind if I look at your eyes." Well I have to give it to the girl. She is distracted easy.
"I don't have any eyes."I snort at her.
"Well can I look at your eye sockets?" I sigh. What could it hurt. I take off my blind fold as she sit in front of me. I feel her place her small hands on my temple. Her chakra slowly invaded my sockets. I suppose it could be called soothing, but it also made me feel like I had to sneeze. It was nothing like the burning sensation that Hisako's chakra was. I take a deep breath at the thought.
"Hmmmmm, the eyes were taken out pretty cleanly. Did you have some type of blood limit?" She asked casually, I fought to keep my body from tensing. She got too close there.
"No. I did not have a blood limit. Just came across some one who liked to fuck with people." I reach up and pull her hands away. "Is that all you wanted to look at?" She hummed at me then began to scour the field for her herbs. What am I going to do about this nosey ninja... I had no clue, besides keep pushing her away.
Sorry that things are later then normal. We had a family issue. Actually a family memeber committed suicide. I usually am not too into PSA's, but I am going to give you all one. Please if you are feeling desperate, and don't think there is any way out, know that there is someone you can go to. Whether it is family, friends, or a hot line. Please talk to some one. You are important to some one, and it will tear their lives apart to loose you. I really am not a person of many words, but I hope that you will think about what I wrote. My house hold has been turned upside down.
On a much lighter note thank you so much for your reviews, follows, and faves. I am hoping to message later, but if I don't get to you please forgive me. I hope you all are having a good week!