~Her Sanctuary~

Chapter 10

This is an A/U fic, inspired by a picture Tony posted of himself in a doctor's outfit.

Disclaimer: I own nothin' of Major Crimes, nothin'!

Trigger warning: anxiety/panic attack

Sharon couldn't stop herself if she tried. It was like a dam had burst within her and there was no way to hold back the waters or in this case the words now. The only difference was when she spoke again, her voice was a bit more confident, "Andy, the guy was a dirty cop. He was so bad, that in fact, he was dirtier than I was after being stuck in that filthy disgusting place they left me in for three days. Honestly, I don't fire good officers. I investigate and gather information for a long time before taking any action at all. Just ask anyone in the LAPD because I bug them all by hanging around and asking too many questions, and believe me, I am very thorough in everything I do."

Andy smiled to himself at the determination in her voice, as Sharon got defensive of her job. From what he knew of her, he was positive she was good at what she did and didn't let anyone stand in her way. He felt her take a couple deep breaths before she continued, "Anyway, the two guys said their boss's name, whom I know by now was an Officer Wattly that I had investigated back in my IA days. I'm not sure if the idiots had realized they let the name slip or they didn't care anymore since they weren't planning on letting me live much longer. They proceeded to take joy in explaining vividly and graphically all the fun things the both of them were going to do to me." Sharon cringed at the memory and buried herself deeper into Andy's warm hold.

He happily held her as close as possible. Andy was grateful that she didn't back away from him or start to be short of breath in a panic, it couldn't be easy to relive such a tragic event. From the strength of her voice, she was using her anger at who did this to her to get through it all. Inside he was feeling very proud of Sharon for being able to tackle something so harsh. He knew from the time spent with her that it was a hard thing for her. Andy also knew that she saw it as a weakness, to need help or to let it out, but to him, he saw it as a strength. He felt humbled that she turned to him, that the formidable Captain Sharon Raydor trusted him and felt safe enough with him to let him be there for her.

She was surprised at how easy the words came out of her. Sharon had been so sure she would never tell anyone what happened in that place. It was her deep dark secret to keep locked inside, for her to suffer through it alone. She had really just wanted it all to go away but over time she found out how wrong she was. It would not disappear by ignoring what happened to her and by keeping it locked inside the way she had been, it ate her alive. Doing what she was doing was letting those men ruin her life over and over again by destroying her happiness.

Even without Andy saying it, she knew in her heart he wouldn't judge her by what had happened. It was just that it was so hard for her to trust anyone, but it was a like weight was lifting off of her with each word she spoke, making it easier for her to continue opening up. "When they were done laughing at their ideas of a 'fun times' as they described it, the two men were discussing if they should just shoot me in the head this time when they were done with me, to put me out of my misery or leave me there to die slowly. I decided then and there that it was my last chance to get out. There was no way anyone was going find me in time. The hardest part was trying to stay conscious, between the pain and the loss of blood it wasn't easy to do."

She could feel herself withdrawing as she thought of the worse part of being held captive. Andy must have sensed something or felt her stiffen at the memories because he tightened his grip around her, not enough to frighten her, but enough to just say I'm here for you and you're safe. Feeling more empowered than she had felt in a long time, Sharon's voice strengthened as she spoke. "I wasn't going to let them touch me ever again. They hadn't gone too far yet, on orders of their boss, but they made sure to physically and mentally torture me whenever they could. My clothes hadn't fared very well through the crash or through their rough treatment of me, so I had spent days in a now ragged shirt with only a few buttons left. I was grateful that I chose to wear slacks that day, though they were ripped too. When they came at me, I didn't fight anymore. I wanted them to think I had given up. I didn't move but observed what was around me. That's when I realized they both were always wearing guns and this time was no different."

As Sharon was explaining the experience, her fingers had been tracing patterns on Andy's chest. In the beginning, they had been above his t-shirt, but now her hand was underneath it with her palm placed flat against his chest, to feel each beat of his heart. The tempo of his heartbeat calmed her and helped her to understand that he was here for her and would help her through this. She had the need to feel his body heat; between her being up against him and her hand over his heart, Sharon was absorbing as much as she could. The warmth ran through her and gave her strength to continue. "So, I bided my time to be able to get my hands on one of their weapons. As the first disgusting scumbag dropped his pants," Sharon tried but couldn't fight back the shudder that ran through her. She remembered the dreadful feeling that she wasn't going to make it out of there alive, and if she did, would she be able to live with herself.

Even with Andy next to her, she could feel her pulse rate getting faster and she started to get dizzy. It was a soft reassuring voice that stopped her from hyperventilating. "I'm right here Sharon and you are safe." He was worried that she'll think he thought less of her for what happened, but in truth, he cared for her more deeply because of what she went through. It has made her who she is today, and he can't seem to express enough how he feels that she is still here with him. All he could tell her is, "I'm here for you, always."

Taking comfort in his words, Sharon took a couple of slow cleansing breaths, closed her eyes, then she went on. "When he dropped his pants to have 'their fun,' the sound of a thud caught my attention. It was the holster with his gun in it dropping to the ground. It was the first time in days that I had some hope of getting out of there. The idiots didn't seem to care about it. I suppose there was only one thing on their mind or maybe they forgot what my profession was and only saw me as their prize."

"Or," Andy interjected. "They underestimated what a badass woman you are Sharon," he added with a lopsided smile on his face that caused her stomach to awaken with a flutter. The things just this man's smile could do to her. It was a nice feeling to associate what happened to her with happy warm feelings instead of the bile that started to build up in her throat whenever she thought about it.

Not being able to resist, Sharon smiled and leaned in giving him a quick kiss. He did have a way of giving her the courage to face her demons. "Well, whatever they thought about me they had one thing on their minds, but then again so did I, getting a hold of the gun. I had made up my mind that there was no way in hell this was how it was going to end. So after not eating for three days and with the blood loss, I used all the strength I could muster, which believe me, wasn't all that much. I don't know where it came from, but when the man with the dropped pants came closer to me and used his foot to nudge my legs apart, I kicked him in the…. Well, let's just say I kicked him where I can guarantee he'll never have any children if he can even have sex again that is." Sharon laughed at that and tucked her face into his shoulder.

"Ouch," Andy cringed as a guy feeling that pain, but after what they had put Sharon through he thought they got off too easy. "Nice shot, though he deserved that and much more."

"Sadly, my one regret was that I lost my shoes in the crash because I would have really like to have kicked him with my heels on, just to add to the pain and damage." Her mind drifted to her favorite pair of Manolo Blahnik's.

Andy took in the look of heartbreak on her face and asked. "Let me guess, you are thinking about your long-lost shoes?" She nodded a yes through her laughter. Her laugh built up until she ended up with a snort laugh. Her eyes went wide and hand covered her mouth. Sharon bent her head so her hair hid her reddened face. "Very sexy." Andy tucked a few stray strands of her thick hair behind her ear and when he saw doubt in her eyes he explained why. "It is sexy because it shows me you are not afraid to be yourself around me. Sharon, don't ever be worried about being you. I love you just the way you are." He smiled, "snort laugh and all."

Realizing that she now laughed more with him then she had in months, "Thank you, Andy." She never thought in a million years that she would be laughing when telling her story and it was all because of this man next to her. After another soft kiss, Sharon continued knowing she needed to finish this to have some closure. "So, since the man's pants were around his ankles when he fell, he tripped and tumbled into the other idiot, from the sound of it, hurting his arm in the fall. The other guy fell back hitting his head on the floor. He groaned holding his temple." Sharon shrugged, then in a no regrets kind of voice said, "he might have been bleeding just a little."

Andy looked into her eyes, hearing the coldness in her tone, He was glad it wasn't meant for him. He placed his hand on hers. "After what they put you through, I think they deserved much more pain."

Sharon turned her hand over intertwining her fingers with his and squeezed his hand tight. She was thankful for his support. She gave him a quick smile before saying. "I suppose they were distracted by their own injuries and the ear-piercing screams of the man writhing on the ground holding his groin. So, without them noticing, I reached as far as my pain would let me. Then I pushed through a little farther and grabbed his gun that was laying on the ground. I guess it was lucky that my right wrist wasn't broken because I could hold the gun up enough with the help of my left arm. To get their attention over the wailing, I shot a hole in the wall." She laughed a little at that memory. "The shock on their faces was almost worth being there."

She felt the hand on her hip still as he gave her a stern glare, "I did say almost." Sharon smirked at Andy. "Then I commanded they give me a phone or I would aim at one of them. I could tell they didn't seem to believe me, so I felt obliged to remind them that I did know how to use the gun I was holding. Just for an example, I aimed for one of their many empty beer bottles, this one just happened to be lying between one of their legs, when it exploded. The one not whimpering in pain quickly slid his phone to me." The scared looks on their faces made her smile, it was nice to get some revenge on her captors. "Earlier while I was checking out my surroundings, I had seen the handcuffs they used on me the first day. They later took them off of me after they decided I wasn't a threat to them anymore, I guess. There was also duct tape and unused zip-ties. It was easy enough to get them to tie their feet together and then handcuff themselves to each other."

Sharon cleared her throat before speaking again, "I said in my scariest captain's voice I could, 'that if they moved or tried to open the door the next time I would not be shooting at beer bottles between their legs, I would be aiming a bit higher.' I managed to force myself to my feet. I had to fight off the dizziness from the pain that was shooting through my entire body. I locked them in the room they had dumped me in days before. As the adrenaline to get me out of the room wore off, I leaned against the door and slid to the ground. The last thing I remember was dialing my second-in-command's cell number." She laid there still for a few minutes letting him, well both of them absorb all she told him.

Amazed at what the woman in his arms had gone through, he couldn't help but kiss her, as he held his free hand on her cheek. When he pulled back, he said with pride in his voice, "remind me not to get on the dark side of Darth Raydor."

She was smiling from the sudden kiss but then gasped. Her eyes narrowed as she asked, "How did you hear that name?" Sharon was surprised to hear Andy call her that.

"I think it was your Detective Sanchez. The first night you were in the hospital, I came out to give your team an update on your condition, he said that there was no way someone could take down Darth Raydor and that the suspects were complaining about all the pain they were in. He also said they were lucky that you let them live." Andy smoothed his hand along her cheek and into her hair. He enjoyed the feel of the silk strands and that she was letting him touch and comfort her, but he was immediately concerned when she groaned.

She groaned again before saying, "oh God." Then she tucked her head into his shoulder, embarrassed at what Julio had called her.

Andy laughed at Sharon's reaction. He thought it was rather cute that her cheeks were pink with embarrassment before she hid her face from him. It had been obvious that her team was impressed by her and very protective of her. "What? I like it; actually, from what I've heard about you it fits you perfectly. Oh, and there's more, then that grumpy looking Lieutenant Provenza actually laughed and said, 'that living wasn't too lucky for them since the Wicked Witch wasn't done with them. There were still deals to be made and the idiots would be on the losing end.'" Andy looked at her asking, "Wicked Witch, huh and what did he mean about deals?"

She nodded thinking that sounded just like her lieutenant, though he didn't like her making deals when she first took over Major Crimes. As she was getting over her embarrassment of what he had heard her team say about her, she was finally getting a bit hot so she unwrapped herself from her layers and moved closer to Andy. She chose to ignore the question about how she earned her nicknames from her time as head of IA. "As for deals," Sharon held her hand up with her thumb against her fingers and motioned with her hand to emphasize her point, "it's just something I really like, finishing a case to the very end. Once a suspect makes a deal with the LAPD and the District Attorney's office there is no chance of parole. Sorry, that's probably more information then you were wanting."

He could hear the passion for her job in her voice. Andy was content to listen to her talk about anything, mostly because he was happy she was willing to be this close to him after all that happened earlier when they tried to move to the next level of their relationship. He was really interested in her job as well. "No, I find your job very fascinating. In fact, I had actually wanted to be a police officer."

She did feel a lot better and lighter after telling him what she had been hiding inside for so long, but she was ready to change the subject and maybe learn more about him. So, Sharon snuggled in deeper to his side and laid her head on Andy's chest to where she could still look up at him. She asked, "Really, you wanted to join the force? What changed your mind?"

Andy had taken in everything that she described what had happened to her and knew that she was now turning the conversation in his direction. He figured this was a good thing. He was relieved that Sharon hadn't panicked too much when she spoke of it and when her anxiety did rise; he was able to be there to help her. She had gotten it out and she seemed calmer now than he had ever seen her before. He looked down into curious sparkling green eyes and reveled in the feeling of having this woman he had come to care for comfortable to be so close to him that it took him a minute to speak. Finally gathering his thoughts together, he told her, "In my younger wilder days, my brother and I kind of "borrowed" our cousin's motorcycle. We ended up getting stopped by the police and that's when I thought I'd go into law enforcement, but a week later my same idiot brother, that obliviously didn't learn his lesson, unlike me, stole the bike again and dumped it. Our family ended up at the hospital waiting for them to repair his leg, which he had managed to break in several places. After we knew he wasn't in dire straits or dying, I watched the hustle and bustle of the things going on around me and found it all fascinating. Things just seem to click in me and I knew that's where I wanted to be." As Andy explained his story, he was absentmindedly rubbing his hand up and down her back. Even though it was through her robe, he was still happy that Sharon was letting him touch her more and more.

Her hand was once again smoothing circles on his chest. "Well, if you ever wanted to join the force let me know. I'd be happy to have you on my team. I'm sure we'd work great together." Sharon smiled up at him.

Not being able to resist her pull, Andy slowly lowered his head to hers. He gave her time to move away if she didn't want this. He stopped again as he was a breath away from her to let her make the decision. He was sure it was Sharon that closed the gap between them; they were both smiling as their lips meet. As their kiss grew deeper and more passionate, Andy forced himself to pull away from her soft lips and tell her. "As much as I like kissing the famous Darth Raydor, I want you to rest." When he saw her start to pout he added firmly, "doctor's orders."

She quickly kissed him again before arguing with her Raydor glare, "You are not my doctor anymore, Andy. You did make that clear, remember." Her voice didn't carry any bitterness about what had happened between them anymore. It was flirty.

"True, very true but I am still a doctor and it's an order from me so that makes it a doctor's order. Now, let's get some rest, then we can finish what we started." With that, he pulled her closer into him.

"Promise?" When Andy nodded, Sharon let out a peaceful sigh as she got comfortable, tucking one of her legs over his and wrapping it under his calf. She realized she had to just accept that he was once again right. "Hmm, fine but we will finish this in the morning." She contently closed her eyes and laid her head on Andy's chest as he pulled the covers over them both. She felt warm and safe in her sanctuary and was asleep in seconds.

A/N: Sorry for the slow updates but I have been dealing with the sudden death of my father these last few months. I've been trying to get myself to release some inner feelings through writing. That is really how chapter 9 came about and this entire fic actually.

I really need to thank an amazing group of friends in this fandom! They have helped me smile through some rough times and kept me going. So, THANK YOU all for that. Oh, this author's note got a bit personal sorry but that's what writing is, isn't it? Personal.