~Here's my final story for the series this season. I had to wait until the Tricky Raven contest period was officially over to post. So many great entries, be sure and check out any others that get posted.

Title: If Only in My Dreams

Pairing: Jacob/Bella

Rating: Mature

Genre: Family/Hurt,Comfort

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

If Only in My Dreams

Bella shoved her phone back in her bag. It was almost their turn. She'd been expecting a call, but had no idea when it might come through. It was Christmas week and she knew Jacob would find a way to get a call through to his family. The holidays weren't the same without him.

She and Jacob had been married almost seven years. They got married soon after high school, because they both knew they were meant to be. Their parents were close friends, so they were raised together and had always been in each other's lives. It was obvious around the time she no longer thought boys had cooties that he was the only boy she'd ever love.

They struggled like most young couples. Both of them had jobs and went to college. Jacob was proud and wanted to take care of her on his own. He never accepted help from their parents other than the initial wedding gifts and honeymoon they provided. Even though, they weren't rich; they were still making it in the beginning. Things changed some when Laney arrived. They'd planned to hold off four or five years, but fate had other ideas, because the light of their lives arrived just shy of their second year anniversary.

Jacob really wanted Bella to be able to stay home with their baby daughter. He finally took the best opportunity he found for his family. He enlisted in the army. She was leery in the beginning, but he assured her it was for the best. He was going in with a little bit of rank because of his college credit and they'd help pay for him to finish his degree. He'd have a steady income and benefits. She was worried a little about moving around and leaving their families, but in the end she was also convinced it was a good move for them.

The first year was great, they were stationed in California and everything Jacob had said was accurate, but then a new conflict broke out overseas. His job changed as well, because he'd made it into a special unit. Soon, he was being sent on all kinds of missions that didn't allow families. Bella moved back to La Push with Laney and they saw Jacob whenever he had leave. She thought they would only have to deal with a couple of deployments but as he made rank, that hope faltered. At least they managed to be together for an extended time when they lived in Texas.

She was homesick, but they were together until he got new orders. Bella and Laney once again moved back to Washington with twins on board. She was definitely going to need family when the boys arrived. Jacob barely made it home in time for birth of the twins. She needed him more than ever since the second baby got in distress as soon as Charles was born, the doctors became very worried about baby B whom they'd already named William. She had an emergency c-section for him, but thankfully both boys were in excellent health. They named them for their fathers but called them Henry and Eli which were their middle names respectively. Bella was trying to recover while taking care of the babies as well as four year old Laney at the time. It broke all their hearts when Jacob had to leave again when the boys were only three weeks old.

She had only seen him on Skype over the last 9 months. It was the longest they'd ever been apart. He watched his sons grow up over emails and Facebook posts. The past few weeks had been the worst since he was deep undercover in a mission. She hoped and prayed he'd finally get a message out before Christmas.

Laney missed him like crazy, so when Bella got her children to the first of the line to sit on Santa's knee; she wasn't too amazed by what her daughter asked for.

"Ho, ho ho...my you're a pretty girl. Are these your brothers? "

"Yep, that's Eli and that's Henry. Henry's fatter, that's how you can tell them apart." Everyone chuckled at her assessment. One of the assistants helped Laney to Santa's lap so she could talk with him and then they'd take a picture. Bella knew Jacob was going to love the photo. She had all three of them in matching red Christmas outfits.

"So tell me, pretty girl..."

"Laney, but you knew that," her daughter said with confidence.

"Yes, of course, Laney what would you like for Christmas?"

"My Daddy."

Bella felt her lip start to tremble. Leave it to her child to say something like that. She thought she was going to tell him about the American Girl doll she wanted that she believed resembled her. Jacob had already insisted she buy it even though she thought it was a bit much for a doll for a five year old. He told her a few weeks before, a hazardous duty bonus had just been deposited. Her heart ached even more as she remembered the sacrifices he was making for their family. She went to bed every night worrying about his safety until she'd convince herself...it's Jake, he's the strongest, most careful man I know, he'll be fine.

Santa looked at Bella, maybe for some type of conformation. She was sure he encountered all types of family situations.

"Laney, you know Daddy's working." She silently mouthed,"Army," to the kind man who'd been put on the spot.

"I know, but Santa can make it so he comes home. It's the twins first Christmas, my Daddy needs to be there. Mommy's sad, she always checks her phone or the computer for messages and she didn't even smile once when we put out our stockings. So that's all the Black's need, Santa. My daddy does lots of secret missions, but he's done a bunch so he should get a reward. That's what you get when you behave, you get rewarded not punished, so thank you so much for helping us."

"Oh, ho ho ho, Santa does his best but I...I can't go against Uncle Sam."

"Huh, Uncle Sam won't stop you. He misses Daddy too, they're good friends."

"Laney, tell Santa what present you'd like honey. We're holding up the line. I'll tell you later about another Uncle Sam."

She frowned at her mother and shook her head because she wasn't getting the conformation she wanted that he'd bring her father home for Christmas. Bella knew how headstrong she could be so she decided to get Henry and Eli situated for their photo before they got out of their good moods. She got Laney to stand close and placed a boy on each knee. She stood off to the side while the moment was captured on film. She thanked the elves that helped her and got the boys back in their stroller. They were just about to exit the area of Santa's workshop when Laney informed him of one more detail. "Oh, I'm supposed to tell you, Henry and Eli would like a wagon with big wheels so we can push it on the beach and also push toys for the house so they could learn to walk soon. Thanks."

"And you're sure that was it?" he asked.

She pinched her lip between her teeth...an inherited trait. "Well, if you want, you could give my Daddy the American Girl doll, because she looks just like me and he could bring her when he comes home." She turned back around and gave him a big hug "Bye Santa, I love you."

Bella had just pulled out the final batch of cookies. Her feet ached, she had flour in her hair and her tongue was green from taste testing the icing. Laney was setting up the decorating station while the twins napped in their crib. Making Christmas cookies was usually the highlight of their holiday season, but she hadn't been able to find any joy that day. She mentally chided herself. What's wrong with you? Do this for your children. Laney had already spilled her secrets to the mall Santa that she was sad all the time. She made a point to never cry in front of her, but she still knew how despondent she'd become. Bella had gotten use to missing her husband, but never before on Christmas and never that long. It just felt wrong on so many levels. Just like Laney reminded them all, it was Eli and Henry's 1st Christmas. He'd only been with his sons a few weeks out of their amazing lives. They were growing and changing everyday. She was glad they had both their grandfathers, and several of Jake's close friends made a point to interact with them so they could have strong male role models.

Leah pushed the door open. She never knocked nor did she need to, she was Bella's best friend. Zane pushed ahead of his mother dying to get to the table with his best pal, Laney.

"I told you to wait on me and I'd help," Leah fussed at her.

"It's fine, you can supervise the decorating. I wanted to get it over with."

Leah said a few instructions to the children and pointed down the hall. "Go chica, bedroom, the kids are fine. I've set them up with spoons, no knives and a lifetime supply of sprinkles. You and I need to talk." Leah pulled her into the bedroom she was supposed to share with Jacob. She rarely slept there anymore. It was easier to camp out in the boys' room on the extra bed, but once they slept longer through the night; she often crashed on the couch. The bed didn't feel comfortable anymore.

"I get it, Bella. I'd be losing my shit if I hadn't seen Sam in months, hell a week even. I don't know how you're doing this, but let us help you more. You're always claiming you're fine or you've got this. You're about to the breaking point and don't you have three more months?"

Bella's face fell into her hands as the reality of how much longer she had to go was said out loud. She bawled and Leah handed her a tissue. "I...I just miss him so much, it hurts."

Leah sat on the bed with her and put her arm around her. "I know." Bella told her the story from the mall a few days before and told her how heartbreaking Christmas morning would be when Laney realized Santa hadn't saw to her one request. She had no idea how she was going to take the fact he still couldn't come home. "That kid's a trip, never takes no for answer. Damn, she's just like her father."

"True...I think half the time she's my mini me since people always comment how we favor, but that personality and utter stubbornness is so much like Jake."

Leah made the suggestion that after Christmas and everything settled down, she and Sam would have Laney over for a couple of days. Zane was always wanting to see his playmate since they hadn't given in and had another quite yet, but she said they were getting started as soon as the new year rolled around.

"I bet either Renee or Sarah would watch the boys as well. You need a break. I suck at surprises, so I'm going to tell you already that we got you a spa day. Massage, mani-pedi, the works."

"Leah, no that's too extravagant. I can't let you and Sam do that."

"Nonsense, some of the others chipped in as well. That's how we were able to get you the whole shebang."

"I don't know what to say, but I'm having you all over for New Year's just like normal and I'm going to make everyone's favorites. It's the least I can do."

"You sure you're up for that solo?"

"Yeah, it's mine and Jake's tradition so I want to keep it up. Who knows maybe he'll get a Skype session going and everyone can say hi. He'd love that."

"Cool, well...I better go and see if the kids have painted each other red and green, but you go soak in the tub."

Bella was about to say no, but Leah held up her hand. "No arguing, I insist."

The kids were tucked in and sound asleep, so Bella pulled the special bag out of her closet. It housed all the items she'd picked up here and there as stocking stuffers for the past few weeks. She had Charlie bring over the big gifts she stashed at her parent's place. Bella held up the American Girl doll. Laney had described exactly what she should look like: medium skin, brown eyes, wavy brown hair and brown eyes, with a dusting of freckles. She wanted it to be just like her.

Once everything was complete, she couldn't resist steaming up some milk for a hot cocoa. Maybe it would help her sleep. Laney had already left out a special plate of cookies for Santa and a cup of milk near the tree, so she needed to partially consume those. Bella climbed in the recliner, propped her legs up and started an email. She didn't want to whine but she wanted him to know how much they were missing him. He must have been swamped to never get out some sort of communication. She was holding out hope that he'd manage something on Christmas day. That's why she insisted the parents come over to her house for lunch. She didn't trust anyone else's Internet set up. Sarah was making most everything. Renee was highly capable of making an excellent salad, but her mother in law shared her own love for cooking. Of course, they wanted to see the kids enjoy their new presents.

She'd attached several pictures, including the Santa one. All the memories of Laney's pleadings fluttered through her mind. "If only..." she whispered.

She ended the email with I love you, I miss you, be safe...can't wait to see you again. Your, Bells and your babies.

Bella worried a little that Laney would be disappointed in the morning when she realized her Daddy wasn't home, but Grandpa Billy had promised to help her out with that. She knew her daughter well and she was going to be a bit miffed, but once the excitement was underway, she'd mellow out. That phone call would also do wonders for her, so she made one more wish before sipping down the last of her hot chocolate. She had promised Laney she wouldn't sleep on the couch, because she told Bella it might interfere with Santa's work, so she needed to head to bed for real, but sometime after the warm drink and staring at the lights of the tree, she must of dozed off.

A cold chill and the start of a stiff neck snagged her out of her sleep. Heavy eyelids slowly opened and then closed back. She needed to make herself get up to go to bed. Finally, her eyes held open and came into focus. Someone was standing in front of the tree, and a scream lodged in her throat because she didn't want to terrify her children. The intruder turned around after hearing her stir. Finger to his lips which were pulled into a huge grin, he whispered. "S'okay, Bells...it's only me."

"Jake," she flew out of the chair and into his arms.

"Shh, honey...don't you dare wake the kids just yet. I need some time with you all to myself."

Bella was starting to hyperventilate. Was he really there in the living room on Christmas Eve? How had he managed that huge of a surprise?

"How? I'm so happy. Oh my gosh, I can't believe it."

"Later, first I need..." he held her tighter and pulled her face closer to his. "To kiss you again, it's been far too long." He kissed her once and whispered, "Um, Bells...you taste like chocolate."

She giggled and met his mouth again. It most definitely had been far too long, Bella stopped talking or worrying about anything else and she happily pressed her mouth against her husband's and all their love for one another came pouring out in a flood of emotions. Passion quickly rose to the top of the list and soon Bella was being lifted and carried down the hallway to their room. Her husband surprised her when he halted their activities.

"Bells, I've been on a military transport for the past 15 hours with twelve other smelly guys, I've got to get a shower first." She vigorously shook her head, he smelt fine to her, she didn't want to stop.

Bella attacked his mouth again. He stopped her again. "It'll be the fastest shower in history unless you decide to join me."

"Let me double check the kids and I'll be there before you're all sudsy." He slapped her behind and disappeared in the bathroom.

Bella very quietly peaked in on Laney and both Eli and Henry. All three looked peaceful in dreamland. She actually felt the need to pinch herself to make sure it was really happening. This better be real, you're not dreaming Bella.

The bathroom was already full of steam. She knew her man liked his hot showers. He probably hadn't had many good ones over the past nine months. She quickly shucked off her cotton pj's and panties and pulled open the shower door.

Hot, wet hands grabbed her and pulled her all the way in immediately.

Jacob shoved a bottle of body wash in her hands, "I'll do you and you do me."

He raised his eyebrows a few times at her. Oh my goodness, that man's deep voice had a direct connection to her lady parts. She felt her whole body start to tingle. They ended up overly cleaning each other just because it felt so good. Once they were rinsed and weren't so slippery, Jacob pushed her back against the tiles. He lifted her up, instantly their bodies were pulled together like magnets. He used his strong arms to hold her exactly how he wanted her. He whispered more dirty tidbits about what he intended to do with her clean body. She imagined they were saving the main act for the bed since it had been so long, but he couldn't wait. Jacob adjusted her and soon she was reunited completely with the love of her life again. "Um...still so perfect. I've dreamed of this everyday," he crooned in her ear.

He held her bottom firmly and used the tile wall for further support while he lifted her up and down for several minutes. The whole while, his tongue took possession of her mouth somewhat stifling all the moans that rose from her throat.

Jacob turned the water off suddenly, she would've stayed in there longer, but he said it was time to love her properly.

Partially dried off, they were back in their room. That bed had been the source of pain and loneliness for months and just like that, it was about to be the place for pleasure. She knew he had the ability to bring so much to her.

Jacob had a seat and she didn't waste any time, she climbed right back on him. He showed her in the next few minutes one of the many reasons she loved him so much with her heart, body, and soul. Only Jacob could bring out the woman in her so quickly. Once she came off her high, he flipped her over and took total control. Bella and Jacob were making love again and she didn't know how or why he made it home to her, but she had never been so appreciative in her entire life. He rocked himself in and out of her til she couldn't take it anymore. Her whole body trembled and shook as he made sure they came together. Bella locked her legs around him refusing to let him leave her body.

"Honey, I'm going to squish you."

"Good. I can't lose you again. I don't want it to end yet."

He peppered kisses to her face. "Baby, give me a few minutes and I'll have you writhing in the sheets again. I promise." His vow finally convinced her to release her death grip on his waist and he rolled over but immediately pulled her halfway on top of him.

They laid there a few more minutes listening to the other's even breathing. Bella tried to update him on their lives since he said he'd missed the last few emails. She told him all about Laney and Santa. "She's made a believer out of me."

"Aw, my sweet girl I can't wait to see her again."

Jacob was worried his sons would be afraid of him, but Bella insisted she kept the t-shirts in their crib. She made him send a worn one whenever he could. She remembered how she also kept one in her underwear draw. It was a comfort to her more often than anyone would know. "I promise, they'll know you."

After a half an hour of talking, Jacob started rubbing his nose up and down the column of her neck. He was ready to fulfill his promise and she was happy to accept anything he had to give her. They could sleep another day. They started out the second round a lot less hurried. He was slowly trying to reacquaint himself with her. She couldn't help flinch with a tiny bit of embarrassment as he explored her stomach. She'd quickly bounced back after Laney, but the twins did a number on her. She had twice the stretch marks, a not-so-flat stomach with a scar across the bottom of her abdomen.

"Hey, what's the matter? Does it still hurt?"

"No, it's just...I'm sorry. I don't look the same, nothing like that sixteen year old the first time you saw me naked."

He chuckled,"Well thank god for that, I'm not a perv. I don't expect you to keep looking sixteen, that was almost a decade ago. You're a beautiful woman. Don't be ashamed in front of me." He leaned over and placed warm kisses all over her belly.

"Battle scars, honey. You housed my children and brought them into the world with this body. I love it, same as always...even more. Besides, we match now. I'm not the same either." He took two of her fingers and drug them down his ribs where he had a long, light pink scar. He'd gotten caught in a razor wire fence when they suddenly had to pull out of a hot-zone. She'd almost had heart failure the day a doctor called instead of Jacob to give her the news. She about blew out his eardrum, "Is he alright?"

Of course, he recovered fully, but not after 127 stitches and a round of antibiotics. She was so relieved because it could've been so much worse.

"Are you revolted by me?" he asked.

"Never, your body is amazing. I'm a lucky lady." she kissed his old wound.

"Well, I feel the same way, baby and nothing's going to change that."

He proved to her again just how much he loved her body. They were laying together in a tangled mess of limbs and sweaty bodies.

Leave it to her to try and ruin their post-coital bliss with all her over-thinking.

"Jake, how long do have? Can you stay at least a week? I still don't understand how you got to come home."

He told her he'd answer all her questions in the morning but he was exhausted thanks to the long trip home and their athletic activities. "If I know my daughter, she'll be up with the first hint of daylight. Let's sleep a little, honey." He kissed the side of her head and held her closer.

She silently worried that if he wasn't saying anything, it must not be too long, but at least she had him that night and she knew her kids would wake up with their dad...that was good enough to calm her so she could fall into a deep, peaceful sleep.

Bella opened her eyes knowing that something was different. Her hand patted all over the mattress...empty. Jacob wasn't with her and she briefly panicked. "I dreamed it." No, that was too real, it couldn't have been a dream. He'd made her...yeah a lot, he made her do all kinds of pleasurable things. She pulled up the sheet and saw her nudity. Her head fell back to the pillow as relief swarmed over her. She didn't sleep without her pajamas if Jacob wasn't with her. As soon as she shifted her body, she had other signs, Jacob making love to her was indeed reality. Her body ached from all the out of the ordinary activities. Bella quickly rushed to the bathroom to do her morning business. She picked up her discarded nightclothes and put them back on.

As soon as she opened the bedroom door, she was met with bright laughter. It was Laney, she'd discovered her surprise gift. Bella heard that they were all in the twins' room. The scene was a dream come true, she wished she'd had a camera on her. Although, her mind would never let her forget. Laney was squeezing her dad's leg while he attempted to change Eli.

"Mommy, look who's here."

"I see that sweetie. I guess you were right...your daddy came home to us."

"Yep, you needed to believe."

"I agree, I do now. What are you all doing in here?"

Jacob looked up with pleading eyes. She came to his side and noticed a lop-sided diaper. "I screwed up. It's been awhile. LaneyBeth helped me with the first one."

"Henry?" She questioned.

"I know the difference if that's what your asking. Laney helped me change Henry."

"I already told him the secret, Henry's fatter," Laney ratted him out.

She smirked at her husband and he shrugged.

"Hey, at least they're not afraid of me. They've smiled the whole time. I think they like me." Jacob got Bella to help him hold one in each hand and then the tears started like a fountain.

"Oh come on, Bells. The kids are all happy, why are you crying like that, baby?"

"This is the most beautiful thing I've ever witnessed. I'm so happy you're here. We don't need any presents. Oh my gosh, I just thought of something. I have to call your parents. You think, I'm crying...Sarah's going to bawl."

"Well, the presents are there...I saw them when Santa let me in." He winked at her. "So we might as well open them. Did you all hear that? Who's ready to open presents?"

"ME!" Laney yelled.

Henry and Eli kicked their feet in excitement.

"Yes," Laney shrieked when she started opening her doll. After a good while merely enjoying watching their children, Jacob came to Bella with her stocking.

She'd stuffed that herself for Laney's watchful eye, but there was an extra box at the top. That's what he'd been doing when she woke up in the chair. "Jacob Black...I thought we said no gifts this year."

"Seriously? We always break that rule. Besides, I had no choice...you need this."

"Need, huh?" She really needed some new cake pans and decorating supplies. What could she possibly need in that tiny box? Bella eagerly opened the gift instead of arguing to find the most beautiful diamond tennis bracelet.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "It's so much, I can't believe you spent this much money."

"Quit worrying about that. Do you like it?"

"I love it," she held out her wrist and let him attach it to her.

"Where's mine?" He was a bigger kid than any of the rest of them, but he was right. She had bought him something but thought it was for later. He loved to work on small engines and machines, but he had so many hand me down tools. Sometimes, she'd catch him swearing and tossing tools around when he couldn't find the right one. Quil and Embry had helped her pick out the perfect set since she knew nothing about it. Bella had used all her baking money on it. She was known as the unofficial La Push and Forks baker. Leah insisted she bite the bullet and open a real bakery, but she kept waiting until she knew Jacob was home for good.

"It's in the garage, silly. You can go see it anytime, but I didn't wrap it up."

"Okay, I was just kidding. You could have said it was in the bedroom and I would have been a happy boy. " His hand slid down the swell of her ass, the kids were busy with their toys.

She took his exploring hand and crammed her cell phone in it. "Later," **kiss** "but right now...call your mother."

Before she knew it, her living room was bursting at the seems with even more excitement. Both sets of parents were there, and Quil and Embry. Jacob finally got his mother calmed down and told them all the real present he'd been holding onto.

"I'm here for good. I didn't just get leave. I managed to pull some strings with the help of my commander and got out three months early. That's why I avoided you this week, Bells, honey." He put his arm around her. She couldn't see a thing in front of her, she was crying so much.

"I didn't want to give the secret away."

Laney held the mistletoe over them. "Kiss her Daddy."

"Gladly," Jake kissed Bella and the whole room cheered.

"Best Christmas ever!"

~Thanks so much for reading.