Author's Notes: Thanks so much for your reviews everyone, I love seeing what you guys think of the story and hearing how you are enjoying it! I'll keep trying to update every other day, unless I get behind in being ahead and go back to once a week updates again (let's hope that doesn't happen, but I cannot predict the future...too bad ;) lol) Here we go...
Emma slammed down another shot of white rum, sliding the glass to the redheaded woman behind the counter as she waved her hand for her to fill it up again. She had asked Ruby to stay behind with Henry and she didn't need to explain why. After she asked around, rather casually, at the Diner, she found out that the Mayor herself occasionally liked to indulge in a few drinks at the White Rabbit on Friday nights. It felt like it was a last ditch effort and for all Emma knew, the last letter had gone unread just like all the others.
"Honey, maybe you oughta slow down a little?" Tori, the woman behind the counter said as she held the bottle of rum in her hand.
"I'm fine."
"She says she's fine, sister, so give her another round, would ya?" The short, bald and bearded man said from beside her.
"Leroy…"
"Come on! Get me one too while you're at it," he said gruffly and he turned to Emma with what she suspected was his most dazzling smile and held out a hand. "Leroy."
"Emma."
"Would you like to, oh I don't know, dance with me?" Leroy asked sweetly as he nodded his head over to the dozens of others who had pushed aside a few tables and were dancing to the music playing from the jukebox. "One dance?"
"No, thank you."
"Suit yourself," he shrugged and he raised his shot glass as Tori finished filling up Emma's after some hesitation. "Cheers, sister."
Emma raised hers and clinked the glass against his before taking it back, the liquor no longer burning nearly as badly as the handful of ones she'd drank before. She turned to look around the small bar, already packed and it was barely nine. Barely nine and she was already drunk, yet her head was still clear enough to know what she was doing.
What was she doing, exactly, other than trying to figure out just how to capture Regina Mills' attention.
Emma turned on the stool and looked through the crowd across the room, to the dimly lit corner the brunette sat in, at a table all alone with a single glass of red wine in her hand. She looked so out of place wearing a black pantsuit, pressed to perfection and paired with red heels and a matching red camisole top underneath the stuffy looking blazer she wore. Emma briefly saw her raise her eyes from her glass and look across the room at her before she snapped her attention elsewhere. Turning back to face the bar, Emma snapped her fingers as she slid her shot glass forward and after some hesitation, Tori filled it up again.
"Honey, you really should slow down."
"Last shot," Emma replied. "I'll have a beer, something light."
"First beer is on me," Leroy said with a wink. "Just let me buy you a drink, sister."
"One drink. And no, I'm not going to dance with you."
"Then at least just have a drink with me," he grinned as Tori placed two bottles of beer on the bar top in front of them. "One or two, doesn't matter, sister. You looked lonely over here and I'm not the kind of man who lets a friend drink alone."
"I'm a friend?"
"Potential," he chuckled.
Emma rolled her eyes, downing her shot before grabbing a hold of the cold glass bottle of beer with her right hand. Her head was swimming slightly, but as she repeated Leroy's name in her head, she wondered if it was the one and the same that was supposed to have been taking care of the Lucas family cottage. He was old, but not too old, she was guessing late forties.
Soon enough, the liquor pulled her out of her silence and she found herself having a conversation with Leroy, one that left them both laughing throughout, that was until she mentioned the cottage she, Henry and Ruby were staying at for the summer and he visibly paled at the mention. Yet, despite that, Emma was feeling far too good to chew the man out on Granny's behalf.
After the sixth time he asked her to dance and her answer still remaining the same, she turned to see if Regina was still sitting at the table and she was mildly surprised that she was. After her second beer, she stayed sitting sideways on the stool, listening to Leroy tell her stories from his past, stories of what Granny used to be like when she still lived in Storybrooke more than twenty-two years ago. She would occasionally look past the crowd to catch Regina staring at her and every time their eyes met, Regina immediately looked away.
Yet, every time she looked over at her, the more time it took for Regina to look away and the more she got to stare into those beautiful brown eyes, the less hard they looked and she could see the pain, the hurt, the betrayal lifting little by little, replaced by that soft look she remembered that shone in her eyes every time Regina told her she loved her.
"So, you got yourself someone special, sister?"
"Excuse me?"
"A man?" Leroy asked her as he leaned closer. "Or perhaps, a woman?"
"Neither."
"Unfortunate."
"Why?"
"A woman like yourself?" Leroy chuckled. "Anyone would be stupid enough not to want you, sister."
"Uh, thanks…and if this is another one of your ways of hitting on me, Leroy—"
"You're not interested, ya I get it," he grinned drunkenly. "Don't need to keep rubbing the salt in my battered wounds all over again, now do we?"
"What about you?"
"Leroy likes to think of himself as a ladies man," Tori chuckled as she placed a fresh bottle of beer down in front of him. "Isn't that right?"
"Right you are!"
Emma couldn't help but laugh as Leroy blew kisses at the redheaded woman who playfully caught them with her hand and pretended to place them in the pocket of her apron she had wrapped around her waist. More and more, Emma found herself glancing over at Regina, trying to hold her gaze for more than a few seconds at a time. She was making progress. That sneer that had been curled over her lips earlier had all but disappeared.
Shucking off her red leather jacket, Emma placed it on the empty stool to her right and downed the rest of her beer. She shook her head no when Tori motioned if she wanted another one and she grinned as an idea popped into her mind. Turning to Leroy, she placed a hand on his shoulder, feeling his roaring laugher rumble through him as he turned to look at her.
"Ask me to dance again."
"What?"
"If you don't want to…" Emma teased and Leroy leapt from his stool and eagerly smoothed down his flannel shirt over his round belly. "Just one condition."
"Keep my hands to myself and my eyes above the shoulders?"
"Good man."
"What can I say, sister? I can be a rather charming and respectable man when I want to be," Leroy said with a wink and waved at Tori before eagerly following Emma to join the others who were dancing to the music blaring from the jukebox.
The music playing was late 80s and early 90s pop/rock. Songs Emma grew up with, songs she knew, songs she knew how to dance to effortlessly. Making sure to keep Regina in her line of sight, and herself in Regina's, she began to sway her hips to the melodic beat of the slow song that was playing. She slid her eyes shut as she ran her fingers slowly through her hair and when she opened them, she caught sight of Regina quickly emptying nearly half a glass of wine in one long gulp.
Despite the alcohol flowing through her body, almost controlling her actions and her thoughts, Emma moaned at the sight of Regina drinking her in, loving how it felt to have the brunette's eyes on her this way for the first time in a decade.
Her hips moved slowly in time to the music, her eyes locked hard on Regina as she ran her hands over her hips in a slow, tantalizing way that had the brunette clutching at her empty wine glass helplessly. She was so into the visual torture she was putting Regina through she nearly forgot about Leroy until he shimmied his way to stand in front of her, grinning widely as he moved awkwardly to the music.
"Forget about me, did you?"
"No," Emma smiled, her eyes not moving from Regina for a second.
"Who are you looking at?"
Emma raised an eyebrow as she glanced at Leroy for a moment. "Nobody."
"Beg to differ with you on that one, sister, so?" Leroy said as he turned to try and follow her line of sight and the reaction he gave her was one she didn't expect. "The Mayor?"
"She's an old friend of mine," Emma replied without missing a beat.
"Are you serious?"
"Why wouldn't I be?"
"Do you know what that woman is like?" Leroy hissed and he was standing, no longer dancing in front of her. "Half the people in this town are terrified of her."
"Why?"
"She's…scary?" Leroy answered lamely, a slight blush tinging his cheeks just under his beard. "Her father was a good man, but when he passed and she took over his role as the Mayor, things…changed."
"I'm not one for politics."
"Everyone in here, right now," Leroy said as he stepped closer to her. "Everyone right now is wondering what the hell she's even doing here. She hardly ever comes here."
"Because she's the Mayor? Besides, that's not what I heard."
Leroy gave her a pointed look and Emma couldn't help but laugh. "Because she doesn't mingle with the common folk. Her family, they are practically treated like royalty in this town. Always been that way and looks like it always will be."
Emma's eyes landed on Regina again and although she was listening to Leroy, her mind was somewhere else completely. She looked over at Leroy and flashed him a small smile before she started to move to the music again, her eyes locking on the brunette who couldn't seem to stop looking at her.
"You're playing with fire, sister," Leroy said in a whisper only she heard before he sauntered off back to the bar to order himself another drink.
"I know," Emma muttered under her breath as a smile curled over her lips, her eyes locked with Regina's in a soldering gaze.
Emma found herself moving towards Regina, step by step, each sway of her hips bringing her closer to the woman she had been unable to stop loving no matter how hard she tried. Emma stopped when she was just an arms length away from where Regina sat still clutching at her empty wine glass. She beckoned her to come forward and she received a curt shake and a silent no.
Emma didn't let it sway her, instead reaching out towards Regina, her hand landing on one of Regina's as she lightly brushed her fingers over soft skin. She could feel how tense Regina was and she saw her jaw lock tight as she pulled her hand back with a jolt. Emma smiled at her, licking over her lips slowly as she reached out for her again.
"Ms. Swan, what on earth do you think you are doing?"
"Trying to get you to come and dance with me."
"Why would I—"
"Because you want to," Emma said quickly as she winked at Regina. "One dance. Please?"
Emma didn't let her protest again as she took both of Regina's hands in hers and pulled her to her feet, the alcohol buzzing in her veins making her far braver than she would be if she were sober. Slowly she backed away from the table, pulling Regina with her.
"One dance," Emma whispered as she tightened her grip on Regina's hands. "Just one dance, that's all I'm asking for."
"This is ridiculous."
"Maybe," Emma grinned as she felt Regina relax a little, but she didn't take her hands away from hers, too afraid Regina would run and too afraid if she did, maybe she would too. "You read it, didn't you?"
"I might have."
"Might have?" Emma asked with an eyebrow raised. "Regina…relax, please? It's just a dance," she whispered as the jukebox began playing a much slower beat, the song one she knew but couldn't remember the name of. She let go of Regina's hands, instantly gripping at Regina's hips as she began to move her body to the soft, slow beat.
"What do you want from me?" Regina whispered shakily as she lifted her hands and placed them on Emma's shoulders, the hesitation not lost on Emma at all. "Forgiveness? Is that what you want, Emma?"
"It'd be a start," she replied. "I know it's a lot to ask for, but I—"
"I read your letter, the one you and your son give to me," Regina cut her off, barely moving with Emma as the music played on. "I-I had no idea that you…were…" Regina trailed off and she shook her head quickly. "Why?"
"Why what?"
"Why did you…keep it?"
"It?" Emma laughed as she moved a little closer to Regina, unable to stop herself because all she wanted was to feel the woman she loved so deeply, so thoroughly. "My son is not an it. His name is Henry."
Regina nodded slightly as she pressed her lips tight together. Emma had told her why she had decided to have the baby, despite everything that had happened surrounding the conception. She wasn't going to explain herself all over again and from the look in Regina's eyes, she knew she didn't have to.
Emma knew the others surrounding them were watching, listening, gawking, but she didn't care. Regina did and it was clear that she was extremely uncomfortable being seen dancing with another woman. It only made Emma hold on to her a little tighter, to pull her in just a little closer despite the resistance coming from the older woman. The music started to fade before another song began to play, but the beat was quicker and Emma lost her hold on Regina, watching her as she backed away from her quickly.
"Regina—"
"You had your dance, Ms. Swan. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to pay my tab and be on my way. Do enjoy the rest of your night," Regina said and she took a few steps towards Emma, her lips curling in a snarl as she let her eyes rake over Emma's body. "And do try not to make the same mistake as you did before, dear."
The venom in Regina's voice caused a lump to form in Emma's throat and she found it hard to watch Regina as she walked away from her, a slight swagger in her step. Emma was furious with Regina, not understanding what had changed in the course of five minutes, or in fact what had still proven to remain the same eleven years later. She wasn't stupid, she wasn't blind, just a little drunk, but she'd seen that look in Regina's eyes, the one that told her without words that there was still very much something there between them, that Regina still loved her from someplace deep down inside.
It took her a few minutes to move from where she was firmly rooted to the floor and she spun on her heels, motioning to Tori she would be back in a minute before she grabbed her jacket and followed Regina out the door and onto the street.
"Regina?" Emma called out as she spotted the brunette fumbling with her keys as she stood by her car. "Regina?" She tried again, looking both ways down the street before jogging across and coming to a stop by the front of the black Mercedes. "What was that?"
"Excuse me?" Regina asked as her keys nearly slipped from her fingers. "What was what, exactly?"
"You know what I'm talking about."
"Do I?"
"You told me you read the letter. You—"
"Yes, I read it," Regina cut her off and rolled her eyes. "What exactly is it that you want from me? Forgiveness? To open up my heart to you again only to have you shatter it on your way out of my town?"
Emma's jaw locked tightly as she stared at the woman she still loved and could and would never stop. How stupid could she have been to think that a stupid letter she poured her heart and soul into would make this woman forgive her and—what, confess to her that she still loved her after all these years? It was too much for Emma and she started laughing as she slipped on her jacket and shook her head.
"What is so extremely amusing, Ms. Swan?"
"This, all of this, you, me, us."
"May I remind you that there is no longer an us?"
Emma chuckled dryly as she moved to stand in front of Regina, her eyes not leaving the ones locked in an intense gaze with her own.
"There will never be an us again. Not after what you did and not after how you broke my heart that I still—I can't—I don't even want to look at you. A hundred years can pass and I will still only hear the words you said to me that day you came to me and—"
"It didn't stop you from watching me when I danced for you," Emma whispered, her fingers itching to reach out and touch Regina, but even with the alcohol coursing through her veins, she managed some speck of control over herself. "It didn't stop you from practically fucking me with your eyes. And it definitely didn't stop you from dancing with me, although, you know what?"
"What?"
"I know why you left, why you said the things you did to me."
"And why is that, Ms. Swan?"
"Why the hell are you calling me that?"
Regina clenched her jaw, her body stiff as the keys slipped from her fingers and fell to the pavement below. "What is it that you want, Emma?"
"I want you to realize that what happened that night, I had no control over anything, over myself or the situation and yet, you made me feel like I did, like it was my fault I allowed myself to be drugged without knowing, that I allowed what happened between—you know what, Regina? I thought for some stupid reason that maybe you'd understand, that maybe you wouldn't react the way you did and that maybe things could've gone a hell of a lot differently than they did that day. You went from being so concerned about why I was so upset to calling me a whore. You didn't even give me a chance to explain."
"Because I had been informed of what had happened at that distasteful little party the day after," Regina said lowly. "Yes, I knew before you even came to me, Emma. I knew for those three days you avoided me, lied to me, ignored my phone calls. I knew and it hurt so much more than your inevitable betrayal because you waited for three god damn days to tell me what had happened."
"You knew?"
"I knew."
"Who told you?"
"Does that really matter now, Emma?" Regina spat angrily at her. Emma stood there with her eyes wide and she felt like she was going to start hyperventilating at any given moment. "Kathryn was there that night. She saw you, saw the things you did with that man, saw you lead him into the bedroom on your own accord."
"I was drugged! And so was he! If we weren't, that would've never happened! Ever! I was with you, Regina. I was in love with you."
"I'm well aware of that," Regina replied snippily. "You need to understand something, Emma. You didn't break my heart because of what you did that night. You broke my heart because you kept it from me."
"What did you want me to do? Come running to you the very next morning and confess everything to you? Regina, I was fucking scared out of my mind about what had happened. I was just—I was still a fucking kid and I was so scared! I didn't know what to do! I loved you, Regina, and I knew the second I woke up that morning that whatever I did, whatever happened, it meant that I was going to lose you whether I told you or not!"
Emma's heart was racing, hammering hard in her chest as she stood just inches from Regina now. Through the haze of the alcohol, Regina's words started to sink in. She knew. She knew before Emma came to her. She knew for those three days and all she had wanted was for Emma to be honest with her right from the start, not hide from her, lie to her, but to have come to her straight away and be completely honest about what had happened that night with her and Neal.
Emma ran her hands shakily through her hair as she stepped back from Regina. She couldn't stand to be so close to her, to smell her intoxicating scent, to almost feel her body heat radiating off of her as the deep rooted anger simmered inside of her. Her whole body suddenly felt completely weak, whether it was from the alcohol or this conversation or both, she wasn't sure and she couldn't exactly think straight when all she could think about was the memories of how it'd felt to kiss Regina, to feel her lips upon her own, to feel those soft yet strong hands conquering her and making her feel like the rest of the world had fallen away.
"I know it's been eleven years," Emma said shakily, not sure where she was going with this, but the alcohol had a firm grip on her and had loosened her tongue and a wave of thoughts she didn't want to be having right now. "I know you still hate me. I know you still love me. I know that you came here not just because your father was sick, but to get away from me, to come someplace you thought I'd never find you. But I did. I found you, Regina, and while no, it's not the way I imagined it, I'm still here and so are you."
"Emma…"
"I can't stop," Emma whispered as she took a tentative step towards the brunette standing stock still in front of her. "I can't stop thinking about you. I can't stop feeling the way I do about you. It's so crazy because we weren't together for very long, but it felt like a lifetime to me. I gave you all of me and I know you gave me all of you. I can't stop loving you, Regina, and there's been nobody else since you, nobody else that can make the rest of the world fall away with just one look."
"Emma, please…"
"What?"
"Stop. Please."
"I can't."
Emma, despite her weakening hold on her willpower to keep herself from doing what she wanted to most, took one more step forward and raised her hands to gently cup Regina's face, holding the smouldering gaze that they shared and she felt her fingertips prickling as she gently stroked them over Regina's cheeks.
"I can't stop loving you," Emma whispered, her voice shaky yet sure. "I've tried, believe me. God, I've tried to forget you, I've tried to stop, but I can't."
"Try harder."
"You didn't stop either, did you?" Emma asked, not moving her hands from Regina's face, not moving an inch as her eyes bore into Regina's, watching as the tears slowly formed in brown eyes she had longed to lose herself in for over a decade. "Regina, if there's one thing I'll never forget, it's how I remember the way you used to look at me."
"How?"
"Like this," she whispered, her lips nearly upon Regina's as she stroked her thumbs over the soft skin of Regina's now flush cheeks. "You've never met anyone else, have you?"
"No," Regina replied breathlessly. "No, I haven't. I couldn't I—"
"Tell me how to fix this," Emma sighed as she felt Regina's hot breath spilling over her lips. "All I've ever wanted to do was fix this, for us to find our happy ending together."
"Emma—"
She cut her off, not by words, but by a kiss. A hard, yearning kiss that she'd been dreaming of since the last moment she saw the woman who had completely captured her heart and soul. She smiled when she felt Regina give in and kiss her back, her hands slipping over her waist as Emma continued to kiss her with everything she had.
Emma tried not to feel it, but everything about kissing Regina felt like finally coming home and the moan that slipped past Regina's lips did nothing to quell her resolve. She backed the older woman up against her ridiculously expensive car, kissing her deeper as she felt her body being tugged flush against the one body that elicited a burning desire so deep inside of her she'd never forget just how it felt to be consumed in that way that Regina made her feel.
When the kiss ended, Emma didn't want to move away, she didn't want to stop kissing Regina, but she felt the hesitation rolling off of the brunette in waves and she stepped back, dropping her hands away from Regina's face as she flicked her eyes to stare at the keys that were still on the ground. She bent down, scooping up the keys with her shaking fingers and as she stood back up, she held them out towards Regina.
"I-I'm sorry," Emma stammered, cursing silently at herself as she ran her fingers through her hair. The look on Regina's face was completely unreadable. "Regina—"
All Emma could do was step back as Regina got into her car and watch as she fumbled with the keys, her hands shaking visibly even in the dark. Emma shoved her hands into her jacket pockets and trembled and wished that somehow things had gone a lot differently than they had between them. She didn't even know when she drove to the White Rabbit earlier that night what would happen if she saw Regina, but she had definitely not expected the night to turn out like this.
She stood there in the middle of the street, watching as Regina drove away, her eyes following the red taillights until they turned a corner and disappeared.
"Just an old friend, huh?" Leroy asked from beside her suddenly, making Emma jump in surprise to find him standing so close to her. "Come on, let me buy you another drink."
"I—how long have you been standing there?"
"Long enough."
Emma frowned as she stared at the shorter man, but he had a soft look in his eyes, a look of understanding. He smiled as he hooked a thumb over his shoulder back at the White Rabbit and Emma groaned, nodding her head and following him back inside. Emma noticed that the other patrons were staring at her and she had no doubt in her mind it was because they had all witnessed her dancing with the Mayor and then running out after her when she'd left.
"Tori, get us a round of shots," Leroy said as he slapped his hand down on the bar top, pulling Tori's attention away from gaping at Emma. "Now, sister!"
"Leroy, after this, I'm cutting you both off!" Tori warned him as she placed to shot glasses in front of him and filled them to the brim with cheap whisky. "And if you refuse to leave, I'm calling the Sheriff. I don't want to get fired because your drunk ass can't control your temper. The last time—"
"I paid for those glasses I broke and the liquor I drank," Leroy replied snippily and he turned to Emma with a rather sweet smile dancing over his lips. "Great love lost makes a person do crazy things. I'm sure you know what I'm talking about, sister."
"I—"
"So, here's what you're gonna do," he said as he handed Emma one of the shot glasses and raised his own. "You're gonna take this shot and you're gonna run after your woman. Again."
"Leroy, she's not—"
"I told you, I heard enough out there to know that at one point or another, she was your woman and I ain't stupid enough to not know that you're here to get her back."
"She doesn't want me back," Emma muttered under her breath and she took her shot back, groaning as it burned a little too harshly on the way down.
"She doesn't want you? Are you crazy? Have you seen you?" Leroy asked, laughing loudly as Emma raised an unamused eyebrow at him. "Look, she might be someone else to all of us here, someone we're all in some way scared off for our own reasons, but to you she's someone special and I think everyone here right now knows that. So, you're gonna run after her. Again. And this time you're not gonna let her walk away."
"Why do you even—"
"Care?" Leroy finished and he slammed his glass down on the bar and pointed at Tori, his attention wavering as he pointed down at his glass. Tori shook her head and walked away and he growled in frustration before turning his attention back to Emma. "Because when I walked out there to make sure you hadn't taken off, because you still got a tab to pay," he said as he cast a sideways glance at Tori, "I heard a woman so desperately in love with another try to win her true love back."
"You got all that from what I said?"
"I'm not blind, sister. I've got eyes and ears. I know what I saw out there and I know that you just let her go when you didn't want to. Now go, but," he chuckled as he snapped at Tori and she walked over with a roll of her eyes. "Got a tab to pay first, dontcha?"
Emma nodded, fishing out her wallet from her inner jacket pocket and slid her credit card across the bar top to Tori as her mind swam with thoughts and her lips still tingled from the kiss she and Regina had shared barely even ten minutes ago. As soon as Tori handed her card back, Emma was out the door and jogging down the street, heading in the direction of Regina's house with only one thing on her mind.
She ran harder, her shoes hitting the pavement hard as her heart raced so loudly she could hear it in her head. She picked up her pace, pushing her body to its limit in her drunken state and she nearly hopped over the gate and stumbled on the pathway as she rushed towards the front door of 108 Mifflin Street.
"Regina?" Emma said as she knocked on the door desperately. "Regina, open the door."
Emma panted heavily, both hands on the door frame as she struggled to catch her breath. She knocked again, louder this time, knowing damn well that Regina had just gotten home a few minutes before. A small yet desperate smile curled over her lips when she heard the lock click open.
"What do you want, Emma?" Regina asked quietly as she opened the door a crack. "It is late and you are clearly drunk. You shouldn't have come—"
Emma didn't let her finish, her liquid courage playing a big part in her easing her way into the house and she pressed Regina up against the wall, still panting heavily, mostly from running, mostly from the beautiful woman in front of her who grasped her head and kissed her first, hard and deep and sure. Emma moaned into Regina's mouth, blindly kicking the front door shut as she gripped at Regina's hips and pressed her body flush against hers.
Regina didn't let up, holding Emma close to her as their tongues danced and teased and sought to dominate the other. Emma hadn't been kissed this way for over a decade and she couldn't think, she could hardly breathe, and it was the best god damn feeling in the whole world to be in the arms of the woman she loved, kissing her senselessly, hopelessly, needlessly.
They broke apart, both breathless as their eyes bore into one another's with an intensity neither had known for too long. Emma's heart nearly stopped, wondering if she was going to be thrown out the front door like she half-expected, but when Regina spun her around and pushed her up against the wall, soft red lips finding her own again in a harder kiss, she knew that this time she hadn't made a mistake.
Following Regina home after everything that had happened between them was exactly what she was supposed to do…and now she just had to hope that everything else would fall into place, piece by broken piece.
They still had miles to go…