All That Glitters 01

Xander looked around the throne room once more before turning back to the David Bowie look-alike that was sitting on the throne. "I thought you could only wish babies away."

"So did I," Jareth replied, unconcerned. "You live you learn." He stared deeply into the crystal ball he was holding.

"Standard rules?" Xander asked.

"Indeed," Jareth agreed, "she has thirteen hours to traverse the labyrinth and rescue you."

"Good luck with that," Xander said with a snort before turning to a nearby goblin. "Who do I see about learning some magic?"

Hoggle scratched his head. "Depends on the type of magic."

"Got any healing types?" he asked curiously.

"Lady Arwen," the big-headed goblin replied. "Not sure she'd teach you, but you can ask."

"Beats sitting around here waiting for a rescue that'll never arrive," Xander said.

"My Liege?" Hoggle said, trying to get the king's attention.

"Yes, yes, just keep him out of my hair, Humphry," the king said distractedly, not looking away from the heart of the crystal ball.

"It's Hoggle, sire," he corrected the king only to receive a dismissive wave.

"Technically I'm the prince, right?" Xander asked as the goblin lead him off.

"Until you're rescued," Hoggle agreed. "They always rescue the tots, so it's never been a big thing."

"Well as prince of wherever we are–" Xander began.

"I've always liked the NeverNever," Hoggle interrupted.

"As prince of the NeverNever, I wish to abuse my authority for a few cheap laughs," Xander said.

"Well of course," Hoggle agreed, "no point in having authority otherwise."

"Any suggestions?" Xander asked.

"Wine, women and gold," Hoggle suggested.

"I don't drink, goblin women probably aren't my thing, but gold sounds useful," Xander said.

"It's either that or the treasures, and no one sane wants those," the goblin said leading Xander into a courtyard dominated by an enormous apple tree. "Here you go, I'll be back in an hour to see if you're still alive."

"Pardon?" Xander asked, only to find himself alone in the courtyard as the exits vanished. "This isn't good," he muttered to himself as he examined the walls to see if they were climbable.

The surface of the tree rippled as a dainty hand with bright red nails emerged from it.

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"You wished him away to the goblins?" Buffy asked Cordelia in stunned disbelief.

"For the last time, yes!" Cordelia snapped out. "I was in the hallway with that new transfer student and she was asking what I'd wish would happen to Xander and I did that line from that David Bowie film with the puppets. Next thing I knew the lights are flickering, the wind is blowing, and her face gets all veiny."

"Did she say 'wish granted'?!" Giles asked intently.

"Kind of," Cordelia replied with a frown. "She looked surprised and shrugged before saying, 'wish, sort of, granted'."

"You know something?" Buffy asked hopefully.

"The description thus far is one of a vengeance demon, they grant wishes to wronged parties, wreaking terrible chaos and destruction," Giles explained.

"The lights went out, a crystal ball appeared in my hand, and Xander vanished," Cordelia said, "not exactly a lot of chaos and destruction."

"The Hellmouth is a weak point in reality, yeah?" Faith asked.

"That's a descent description," Giles agreed.

"So maybe Jareth is real somewhere and answered the call," Faith said as she stared into the crystal ball, fascinated.

"That's… actually quite feasible," Giles said with a slow nod. "A being of some power, influencing dreams, thus it was made into a movie here, while in closer realms he's more a fact of life."

"If the movie's right, someone has to brave the labyrinth and rescue him," Faith pointed out. "You only have thirteen hours to do it, too."

"Do we have a copy?" Buffy asked. "I mean, I've never actually seen the movie and if I'm going to rescue him, I should probably watch it first."

"You've never seen it?" Faith asked in disbelief.

"I'm not a big puppet person," Buffy said with a shrug.

"It has David Bowie in it," Faith pointed out.

"The old British guy?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, I'm doing this," Faith said firmly.

"What?" Buffy asked, shocked at Faith's declaration.

"I know the movie backwards and forwards," Faith told Giles. "I'm the best shot at getting him back."

"I suppose that's true," Giles admitted.

"Plus, time's running out, I gotta go now," Faith said.

"Let me grab you a sword," Giles said hurrying to the book cage.

"Are you sure you can do this?" Buffy asked.

"It's the Labyrinth," Faith said with a brief look of hunger on her face before hiding it behind her tough girl persona once more, "nothing is sure in there, but I'm damn sure going to try!"

"How dangerous is it?" Cordelia asked, trying to sound uninterested.

"Extremely and not at all," Faith said thoughtfully as Giles returned with a sword for her that she strapped to her back. "It's the land of the fae and this is a test, so even if I fail, I should be fine, possibly changed, but fine."

"Changed?" Willow asked nervously as Oz squeezed her hand.

"The Bog of Eternal Stench would make me smell like ass forever," Faith pointed out. "Sarah only faced a few of the things the Labyrinth held, so nothing is certain, but Jareth offered her instant passage home several times if she gave up. I should be fine."

"That's correct," Jareth said, causing everyone to spin around as the spiky-haired goblin king revealed his presence. "Of course you could always just agree to trade places with him, it's been far too long since the Labyrinth has had… a queen."

Faith raked her gaze up and down his body and found herself more than a little tempted.

"Doesn't the one who wished him away have to rescue him?" Oz asked.

Jareth sighed. "I suppose she should be… involved, however she's already marked by another, so she's hardly a prize."

Cordelia turned away, furious as she placed a hand on her stomach where the scar from the rebar lay.

"I got a couple of tats and some nicks myself," Faith pointed out.

"None of yours were made by cold iron," Jareth pointed out. "I can remove them all with a snap of my fingers. "He smirked as he realized they'd completely misunderstood what he'd pointed out.

"You in?" Faith asked Cordelia.

Cordelia bit her lip and considered the question, still angry over the scar on her stomach that she'd gotten when she'd discovered Xander cheating on her with Willow, that boyfriend-stealing skank!

"If it help he's currently… with the Lady Arwen, partaking of her… fruit," Jareth said with a grin.

"He's off getting laid while we're worrying about him?!" Cordelia demanded. "Let's go save the bastard!" she ordered.

Faith laughed at the shocked look on Jareth's face. "You can't make someone miserable if you can't get to them."

"So the two of you are certain?" he asked, letting nothing he was feeling show on his face.

"I'll go as well," Buffy said, seeing a chance to help.

"No," Jareth said bluntly.

"What? Why not?!" Buffy demanded angrily.

"Your dye job offends me," he replied. "The false face these two present to the world requires skill, while yours is simply bleach and playing dumb when necessary."

Cordelia smirked while Faith laughed so hard she had to hold her sides.

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"For humans sex is different," Xander said as he took a bite of the apple.

"I'm well aware," the dryad assured him. "The human way doesn't really work for me anymore, you're all… fleshy and soft. Plus you'd end up with splinters and sap in a very uncomfortable place if we tried."

"It worked for you once?" Xander asked curiously.

"Oh, yes," she assured him. "I was once soft and squishy like you. It was a great deal of fun. While many are born dryads, I chose to become one."

"Now that sounds like an interesting story," Xander said.

She smiled broadly as he ate. "Eat another couple of apples and I may be persuaded to tell you."

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"Can we make it in time?" Cordelia asked doubtfully as she stared at the entrance to the Labyrinth and its towering walls topped with spikes, a massive castle just barely visible in the distance.

"We can," Faith said confidently. "The game's no fun if you can't lose."

"Risk, reward… there's a balance to be maintained," Jareth agreed. "If I just snatched up children at random it'd be no fun at all."

Cordelia gave him an annoyed glare. "I can't see that cheating bastard being that great a prize."

"Who said he's the prize?" the goblin king asked before vanishing in a swirl of feathers.

"Sure, that's not ominous at all," Cordelia complained.

"Just stay close, keep your eyes peeled, and remember the fae are just like lawyers – they obey the letter of the law if not its intent," Faith said with an excited grin.

"Why are you so into this?" Cordelia asked. "Do you… like Xander?"

"X is ok," Faith said with a shrug. "He's come in handy at times, from what I've seen. He may not be able to keep it in his pants, but he'll risk his ass to save someone so that puts him a step above most guys."

Cordelia sighed and looked away.

"Anyway I loved the movie Labyrinth as a kid," Faith said, changing the subject, as she didn't want to have a heart-to-heart with the rich girl, "always thought Sarah should have dropped her brother off and then joined Jareth. Her parents sucked and she fit in here. Can't tell you how many time I wished myself here. Now, I'm no Sarah, but I can at least test myself against the Labyrinth."

"I should have wished him to my favorite spa," Cordelia grumbled. "OK, let's go."

"Stay close," Faith reminded her. "I can't win this without you."

"Right," Cordelia agreed as she cautiously followed the brunette Slayer into the maze.

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"I like her," Sarah said, startling Jareth who almost dropped the crystal ball he was holding.

"Sarah!" he exclaimed in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, Dear," she said with an evil grin, "it occurred to me that it had been a while since you'd gotten up to any mischief and I thought I'd pop in and see what it was."

"I can almost guarantee it's not what you think," he promised his queen.

"A lesbian couple, trying to rescue their child?" Sarah guessed.

"A pair of co-workers trying to rescue an ex-boyfriend," Jareth replied, holding up the ball which showed an image of Xander.

"A consort for our daughter?" Sarah teased, eyes sparkling with excitement.

"What?" Jareth shuddered. "No, more like a buzzing little insect, a pet at best. Besides she's much too young to have a consort."

"I'll go tell her that, shall I?" Sarah asked with a smirk.

"Of course… not," Jareth said. "If we're going to do that we might as well tell her we forbid her from marrying this Xander fellow." The king shorted. "She'd be handfasted to him by morning."

"She is your daughter," Sarah agreed with a grin.

"Not only mine," he reminded his wife as he placed a kiss on the back of her hand.

Sarah all but purred, when the sound of a suit of armor being knocked over in the hall rang out.

Jareth sighed. "Our daughter?"

Sarah grinned. "Who else?"

"How much do you think she heard?" he asked.

"Handfasted by morning, you said?" Sarah asked brightly.

Jareth groaned.

Typing by: Jarreas