Well, this took me a damn long while. I didn't really proofread this chapter that much, so if anyone finds a typo or whatever, tell me. OKAY? And I'm tired and I don't know what I'm writing anymore so if it just.. like, randomly stops making sense, tell me. I guess then I'll have no other choice but to actually read it through. And instead of explaining myself even more I'll just get the fuck on with it and let you read.

CHAPTER DEDICATED TO illbewaiting ON dA. BECAUSE SHE'S SO AWESOME LIKE THAT :D .. and I can't remember your FFnet. I'm sorry XD

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sunshine in a bag

CHAPTER 1o : sharpie part II

"I let you go, and I'm still waiting for you to find there's nothing more, that this time
that is right now, so the story goes, it makes you wonder, cause time is up, and
you're never gonna get another chance now. You gotta dance now!"
-Cobra Starship 'Send My Love To The Dancefloor, I'll See You In Hell (Hey Mister DJ)'

.x.Axel.x.

I've always hated February.

Valentine's Day is in February.

In high school it was all about secret admirers, flowers, and too-sweet candy.

And pink. What a disgusting color. Honestly, what were the Romans thinking, making someone up such as Cupid? God, I feel like shooting him with his own arrow right in the ass. Let's see how you like that, Cupid, you fucking sadist.

So I thought high school was bad? With tons of people hounding after me? It got worse. After high school, it was no one. No flowers, candy, notes, whatever. I can't even tell if I miss those days or not.

For one thing, I was thinking of maybe hanging out with Roxas. For, y'know, Valentine's Day. I thought, Wow, maybe I'll have someone to spend V-day with. Great. We'll hang out or something.

Right?

Well, let me tell you that you're whoop-de-fucking-wrong.

Naminé asked Roxas out for V-day. I shouldn't really be surprised. I mean... THEY'VE BEEN GOING OUT FOR OVER A MONTH. Which is a much longer relationship than I ever had or ever will.

And now I'm really, really PISSED. Need me to write it in sharpie on my forehead? Gladly.

She stole him right from under my nose and I didn't even see it coming. I'm not a fortune teller.

Well, psh, it's not like I should really complain anyway. Roxas probably thinks I'm just playing with him anyway. I mean, it never really seemed like I was kissing him and stuff just because I liked him. He probably thinks I'm just teasing. That this all just one big fat joke. That I'm one big fat joke.

But the thing is... is it's not. I'm not doing this for kicks. I'm not doing this for a good laugh.

And even you guys know that I'm in love with the kid. Ugh. It's so fucking hard to be around him these days.

Sometimes, the idea of jumping off a roof sounds very welcoming.

I am so not suicidal.

x.x.x

I blinked and rubbed my eyes. Propping myself up on my elbows I glanced at the clock. 8:13 AM. Work starts in about an hour. I made a move to sit up but something held me down and I crashed right back into my pillow.

"Unnh..?"

Looking down, I saw that whatever was holding me down was a pair of arms around my waist. Wait.. he was in his room when I went to sleep... This.. this was surprising. I mean, ever since he started going out with Naminé, he started spending less time with me. He doesn't even sleep next to me anymore.

So I must say, I was very surprised.

I poked his blonde head and he merely groaned and nuzzled his face into my stomach. I could feel the heat rise to my cheeks and fidgeted uncomfortably.

"Roxas."

He's going to drive me insane. Not that he already hasn't. I'm just saying.

"Roxas!"

He groaned and lifted his head, blinking sleepily at me. "Mmnnh..?"

"What are you doing in my room?"

Roxas looked at me like I was stupid. Which I'm not, by the way. Totally. At all. STOP SNICKERING, YOU ASSHOLES!

"Um.. wellllll.. I was sleeping."

"Yes, I know Roxas. That's what people do when they go to sleep."

"W-well... I just.. had a bad dream.. that's all.."

I tilted my head at him and narrowed my eyes in thought. "Wanna tell me what it was about?"

Roxas shrugged and shook his head, pushing away from me and rolling over onto his back.

"Soooo.. what's the plan for today?" I asked, and instantly regretted it. I already knew his plans for the day. Hell, I practically knew his weekly schedule, for Christ's sake.

"I'm going out with Naminé today. Remember?"

"Ah.. right. Yeah.."

"You're coming too, right, Axel? You promised."

I honestly didn't want to. I'd rather be stuck in a room full of cockroaches than see those two together. But.. I don't want to leave them alone either. What if they get like, mugged or something? Or raped? Well.. Roxas could probably fight, but I'm having a hard time imagining him doing anything but sending out rays of venom through his eyes. Ow.

"I don't see why. It's your date."

"Just because I'm going out doesn't exactly mean it's a date. C'mon. The three of us. You are coming. I'm not leaving you here alone."

"..Of course I am," I choked out, and forced a smile just to make it look like I wanted to come. Roxas just smiled and curled back up under the blankets.

8:32 AM

I groaned and forced myself out of bed. Stupid work..

Roxas raised his head. "Mm? Where are you going?"

"Work," I said flatly. It's funny how he still doesn't remember that. And how many months has it been?

"Oh.." Roxas said, his bottom lip jutting out.

It was only because I was supposed to be the chauffeur today (from what I'd heard). Oh, yippee for me.

I trudged out of my room and into the bathroom. I saw Roxas leaning against the doorjamb as I squirted Crest onto my toothbrush. Huh. He followed me.

"So I guess Naminé and I have to walk today?"

"Take m'car," I said through a mouthful of toothpaste.

"But how are you gonna get to work?"

"Walk, take a tram. Douse myself in Tinkerbelle magic and believe I can fly."

Roxas grinned and shook his head. "Funny."

I spit out the toothpaste and rinsed my mouth. "Take my car," I said again. "I'll walk. And then I'll meet you at the mall after I'm done with work. It's just a couple of hours anyway."

"I could drive you to work and then take the car.." I heard Roxas say.

"Just take the goddamn car.." I mumbled and splashed water on my face. When I looked up, he wasn't there. I 'hmph'd and grabbed a towel, drying my face.

When I came back into my room, Roxas was sitting on my bed, already dressed in black jeans and a pink (yes, pink) and black striped shirt. It honestly didn't look bad on him.

"You sure you don't want me to drive you? It's pretty col-"

"Look, Roxas," I said, digging around in my closet for my uniform. I seriously just wanted to go back to sleep, and not be hunting around my closet for clothes that probably weren't even there to begin with. I wanted to be back in my warm bed with Roxas snuggled right next to me... But I guess I'll just leave that part to my imagination. "Take the stupid car, okay? It's no. Big. Deal. Comprende?"

"Yes.." Roxas sighed, his shoulders slumping.

I couldn't help but sigh too. I ran a hand through my hair and then pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. Little yellow dots exploded in my vision.

It was strange the way things were turning out. It seemed that not to long ago I had befriended Roxas. Taken him out. Kissed him.

And now he's going out with Naminé.

"You alright, Rox?" I asked finally, still keeping my back to him. I could see him perfectly in the mirror.

"Hm? Oh, yeah, I'm good."

If you looked up good in the dictionary right now, you'd see a sulky-faced Roxas. And then by bad, you'd see Sora. Hi would be the new Bye, I Love You would be I Hate You, and so on and so forth.

I sighed and walked over to where he was sitting on my bed, bracing my hands on either side of him and leaning in close to his face. "You know you can tell me, Rox..." I breathed, tilting my head and moving even closer. Just when our lips were about to touch, Roxas whipped his head to the side.

"I can't, Axel.."

"That never stopped you before," I pointed out.

"I can't," Roxas replied firmly. He flicked his gaze back at me but kept his head turned away. "Naminé's my girlfriend.. and.. I just can't, Axel."

"Yes, you can," I mumbled, my face falling a bit.

"Seriously, Axel. Will you qui-mmn!"

I don't what possessed me to do so, but I quickly cut him off, kissing him hungrily and pushing him back onto the bed in the process. Roxas yelped into my mouth in surprise and I took that chance to slip my tongue past his lips. I can't even begin to tell you how much I missed his taste. Sweet, sweet, sweet, like mint and vanilla and just... Roxas. I pulled away from him before he even got a chance to shove me off and pinned his shoulders to the bed. I pecked him on the lips once more before littering kisses all over his face, his jaw, his neck, those beautiful shoulders...

I just... I wanted him. I wanted him so badly that I couldn't stand it anymore.

"Axel, s-stop!" Roxas cried, trying to push me off. The panic in his voice made me reel back, straight to the opposite end of the room. I watched Roxas scoot back on the bed, trying to catch his breath.

I groaned, raking a hand almost viciously through my hair. "Agh.. fuck, Roxas, I.. Fuck. I'm sorry.."

"Shit, Axel, what the hell is your problem?!" Roxas cried, springing to his feet.

I passed a hand over my face with a deep sigh and let my gaze fall to the floor. "I'm sorry."

"WHY, though, can you fucking answer that?!"

I flinched, bowing my head. I probably confused him, with all my teasing and kissing and now... this.

"I.. I just.."

Roxas's fingers were suddenly curled into the collar of my shirt, pulling me down to his level. He really did look confused. And furious. "Just what?"

My heart suddenly started beating a mile a minute and I absently wondered if Roxas could hear it, being that close to me. "I can't.. help it, Rox.." I said slowly. For some reason, it was getting hard to speak, with Roxas's face so close to me, those blue eyes dark, dark, dark...

Roxas frowned, eyes narrowing. "Will you just give me a straight answer?!"

I swallowed thickly and forced my gaze up to Roxas's eyes. "Roxas..."

He looked at me expectantly, so I plowed on.

"...I love you."

Immediately, Roxas's hands fell away from my shirt. He looked up at me with wide eyes, mouth slight agape. I blushed and looked away, ashamed with myself. Why would Roxas ever return my feelings...?

"You.. y-you love m--"

Ding dong.

We both whipped our heads towards the door. The doorbell rang again.

"Hey! You guys in there?"

...It was Naminé.

I sighed and ran a shaky hand through my hair. "Fuck, Roxas. Just.. fuck. I'm so sorry." I quickly shook my head and walked past him into the living room.

"There you guys are!" Naminé said brightly, when I opened the door.

"Hey.. Naminé.." I said in a choked voice. I forced a grin. Naminé blinked but didn't question my strange behavior.

"Are you ready, Roxas?" she asked, coming up to him and pressing a small kiss to his lips. I looked away, feeling my heart twisting painfully.

"Yeah. I just need to grab my coat."

Suddenly, Naminé and I were left alone in the living room. Fuck.

"Axel, you're coming with us, right?" she asked, tilting her head at me. Somehow, when she did that, she reminded me of Roxas.

I shook my head and looked at the clock. At this rate, I was going to be late for work. Oh well. "Sorry.. but no. It's gonna be pretty busy at work today. I'll just drive you over to the mall."

"Oh! Well.. then.. we'll stop by, okay?"

I shook my head, almost in a panic. "No, no, it's okay. Really. Just.. just call me when you need me to pick you guys up.."

"Oh.. alright."

x.x.x

I was almost glad to see Roxas and Naminé get out of my car. It was bad enough for me to watch those two together. Aeris would have my hide for being late, but right now, that didn't matter to me. Actually.. not much mattered to me at the moment. I pulled into work, said hello to everyone as I usual, and did everything that I was supposed to do. But there was no life to my movements. I could feel it and so did everyone else because they kept coming up to me and asking what was wrong. I just wanted to get this day over with.

Roxas and Naminé never called, so I didn't go pick them up.

x.x.x

"Bye, Axel!" Rikku called from behind the counter. I waved over my shoulder and went to the door. I had actually stayed pretty late since there was nothing else for me to do. It was almost nine thirty. It was odd. Roxas and Naminé still hadn't called. Maybe they didn't want me to bother them? But if that was the case, then they would've called and told me...

Oh well, I guess, I thought to myself as I started up my car. A few moments later, I gave in and pulled out my cell phone and called Roxas.

...Aaaand it went straight to the voicemail. I sighed and shut my phone. What a hassle. He was probably asleep at home anyway. Or still with Naminé...

When I got home, the apartment was.. pretty empty. And dark. I flicked on the lights and stood there in the doorway. For a second, it almost felt like I went back in time, before Roxas moved in, and after someone moved out. It was quiet and.. lonely.

I didn't need to go through every room just to figure out Roxas wasn't there. I sighed and pulled out my cell phone, dialing Naminé's number.

"...Hello?"

"Hey, Nam." I got right to the point. Not like I wanted to know about their day. I had enough depression for one day, thank you very much. "Say, is Roxas with you? I tried calling him but he wouldn't pick up his phone."

"Oh? Wow.. Roxas isn't here. He went home a few hours ago."

"Well.. he's not here.. and he's not picking up his phone.. So I thought he was with you."

"He's.. not.." Naminé mumbled on the other line, sounding concerned. Now I was starting to panic too. "Maybe... maybe he just went on a walk to clear his head.."

"Clear his head? Of what exactly?"

"Um.. well. We, uh.. we broke up, Axel."

Broke up? Who the hell breaks up on Valentine's D-whoa there. Hold the phone. Did she just say break up? With Roxas? In the same sentence? I don't have hearing problems, do I?

.. Shit. That meant Roxas was walking around the city broken hearted or something. Aw fuck.

"Okay-thanks-for-the-news-gonna-look-for-Rox-bye!" I blurted. I shoved my cell phone back into my pocket and threw on my coat, running back out the door. That might've been a bit mean, to leave her hanging like that. But I had to go look for Roxas. NOW.

...I just had to figure out where he was.

x.x.x

OMG I'M ACTUALLY FINISHED HAHAHHAHAHA.

I hate school. Actually, not really, but I hate the homework and essays and projects and shit. And I'm not getting enough sleep and.. argh. I'm too lazy to explain myself. And tired. So just review, dammit XD