Chapter 10: The kiss
EDWARDS POV
She stood there looking at me for a long while. Neither one of us knowing what to say. I wanted so badly to hold her, wrap my arms around her. She looked sad. I couldn't figure out why.
"Alice is right you know?" She broke the silence.
"Ah you heard. And i thought I was the with the super vampire hearing.." I didn't know if I was annoyed or relieved that she had heard.
"Unfortunately, you are." She said glumly. "But your not the only one who can eavesdrop." she frowned "I'm sorry."
"For what. There's nothing to be sorry for. She was right, I should have never left. It was, I was.."
"Not that, about it not being your fault. She's right, its not your fault. You did what you thought was best for me. Even though it turned out to be the worse idea you have ever had." She was still upset, but she was talking to me, alone, that was good. "It's still not your fault. I don't blame you." How could she say that? It was my fault, I told everyone we had to leave, If I hadn't of told them to. They never would have left. It was my fault everything, Victoria coming after her, the fact she had to be with werewolves. All of it was my fault. She must have sensed the fact I was still blaming myself. Her abrupt movement toward me startled me. She grabbed my hands and looked at me. Could get lost in those chocolate eyes forever. Her warm soft lips just inches away. I wanted to make them closer. Bring mine to hers. But I knew I shouldn't. I had to fight that urge. She snapped me out of the battle I was having with myself.
"Edward, I mean it, stop blaming yourself. Its not your fault, none of it is your fault. Victoria, the wolves. I was already friends with Jacob before he transformed. That's not your fault. You didn't know he was going to transform into a werewolf. Neither did it. But it doesn't change the fact he did. And its not your fault. And as for Victoria. She would have come for me, even if you had stayed."
"But we could have gotten her, she wouldn't be a problem right now. I.."
"Stop. Please Edward stop blaming yourself for things that are entirely out of your control." She was almost begging me to stop blaming myself. I saw the sadness in her eyes. She was fighting to keep back the tears that so wanted to escape. She failed.
Tears started brimming up in her eyes. Falling down her cheeks. She tried to look away. I hesitated to put my hand on her chin and wipe them away. She didn't want this, not yet. But I couldn't just let her stand here in front of me tears flowing freely, and do nothing. I gently placed my hand on her chin, and lifted her face to mine. She looked up at me into my eyes. I slowly reached for her cheek, to wipe the tears away, expecting her to fight it, tell me to get off her. Yell at me, scream at me. But she didn't. I wiped the tears away softly brushing her cheek with my thumb. She sobbed a little. I reached around her and rubbed the small of her back with my left hand. Trying to console her. I slowly placed my right hand on the back of her head, and slowly pulled her closer to me. Waiting for the instant she pulled away, she showed no sign of resisting. She didn't even tense up at cool of my touch. She slowly put her arms around me, she was as hesitant as I was. I wanted to laugh. But I held it at bay. She had her arms around my waist, slowly tightening her grip on me, to the point that if I were human I wouldn't been able to breath. We stood there in each others arms what felt like hours. I memorized this feeling, afraid It would be far to long before I ever felt her arms around me, or had her in mine. Memorizing the smell, the feeling, ever feature.
"Edward." she broke me out of my trance. My thoughts, no it wasn't long enough. I knew she didn't want this. I slowly pulled away.
"I'm sorry." I said as I let her go. She looked horrified, scared. Oh god what did I do. "I'm sorry." I repeated slowly. She started shaking her head.
"Wh.. What are. Y you doing." She stuttered. "Sorry for what?"
"I, you, you don't want this, you told me you needed time and that's not giving you th.." I couldn't finish my sentence the next second she had her arms wrapped around me tightly.
I sighed, and put my face in her hair. God she smelled incredible.
"I thought, I mean I thought you needed time?" I asked slowly not wanted her to pull away ever again.
"I do." It hit me like a hammer. How could I have been so stupid. Again she brought me out my own thoughts. "But I also need you." She said faintly as she nuzzled her face into my chest.
BELLAS POV
I was in his arms again, it felt like days passed before we finally walked out of the kitchen. everyone was staring at us as we walked into the living room. No doubt there super sensitive vampire ears heard, or Alice's all seeing eye, had told them what happen. It as getting late, and as much as I didn't want to leave, I knew I had to. Charlie would be pissed if I came home late. Especially knowing where I was. I agreed to let Edward drive me home. I was a little reluctant at first but then I saw hurt in his eyes and couldn't deny him anything. It felt to short, the drive from Edward to my house. Even for Edwards speed. It didn't seem long enough. He parked outside my house, I looked down our hands had been interlocked ever since we got into the car. I didn't want to let go. But I had a feeling Charlie was watching. I sighed as I looked toward the window. Edward chuckled.
"He's trying to see, but he cant see into through the car windows. He just knows its my car." He laughed again.
"Crap." I'm going to get a huge lecture when I get inside.
"He's not to mad at you, just worried, he's upset that your talking to me again, after." he didn't finish, I knew what he meant though. After he left. Charlie was pissed, he had really liked Edward, and for him to turn around and do that to me he didn't understand. Edward smiled at me.
"Thanks." I smiled back at him. "But I should probably get in there before he comes out." I said glumly. I looked down at our hands, and sighed, I didn't want to let go. But I had to. I pulled my hand from his and reached for the door handle. He placed his hand on my shoulder and turned me back to face him. He was so close. I could feel his breath on my face. I could smell, it. It made me dizzy. My face flushed red, and he placed his hand on my cheek. And smiled as it flushed even more.
"I've missed that, so much." He sighed. He smiled up at me, and leaned closer. I didn't know what to do, I didn't know if i was ready. I knew what was going to happen any second now. So I just froze. And then I felt his cold hard lips gently press against my forehead. I was surprised it wasn't what I expected.
"I will give you time Bella, as much time as you need." before I could even feel his hand release my face he was at my door holding it open for me. Charlie must have stopped trying to spy.
I reached the front door, and sighed. I really didn't want to go in. I heard Edward behind me, the passenger side window rolled down.
"It will be ok Bella. He'll go easy on you. And don't worry about anything else. Some one will be keeping an eye on you. I promise." I smiled back at him. As we both heard car tires squeal to a stop right behind the Volvo. I heard Edwards small low growl come from the car. As Jacob stepped out of his rabbit. Before I could even move Edward was out of his car crouching protectively in front of me.
"Get out of my way parasite!" Jacob growled. I heard my door open, we all looked and saw Charlie's wide eyed expression in the doorway.
"Bella, why don't you come in the house. And you boys both go home. I don't want any problems and i don't want a fight in front of my daughter." Charlie said, in a low mean voice. But he smiled up at Jake. Jake nodded.
"Dad, I'm fine, no one is going to fight anyone." I said as I looked back at Edward and Jacob.
" I wasn't going to fight anyone. I was just walking you to your door and wishing you a good night." Edward said with a sneer smile on his face.
"No fights here, Charlie." Jacob said as he grinned. I saw Edwards face drop. "I just came to talk to Bella, about earlier, and the kiss." He smiled up at me. I glared at him. How could he bring that up here. I looked at Edward, his face was still empty, he looked hurt, sad. I tried to smile at him, make him see me smile at him, but he wasn't looking he was looking at the ground. Pain on his face. And Jacob was grinning from ear to ear just staring at him. What was he doing to Edward. I wanted to strike out and punch him make him stop. But I didn't even know what he was doing.
"Stop it!" I yelled, I felt Charlie jump.
"Bella, calm down what are you yelling about? And what kiss Jacob?"
"Oh its nothing Charlie, Bella and I…"
"Shut up Jacob! You shut up right now Jacob Black, and go home!" I ran toward him fist flying. Edward grabbed me around my waist. And held me back.
"He's not worth breaking hurting your hand Bella. He's not worth it." Edward said in my ear as he kissed my cheek. Jacob winced, and glared.
"Bella! Bella, what is wrong with you?" Charlie yelled after me.
"Go inside dad!"
"I'm not going anywhere. Especially while he's, these two are out here." He said but he was only looking at Edward.
"Just go inside nothing is going to happen!"
"Bella. Then you come in with me."
"Ugh, I'll be right back!" I said as I stormed off.
"Where are you going? Bella!" Charlie called after me, but I wasn't paying any attention.
I grabbed Edwards arm and pulled him along with me. I walked up toward the woods. I knew Jacob was still watching. Probably still listening. But I didn't care, there was nothing I could do about that.
"Edward." I sighed.
"Bella don't, I don't need an explanation. I left you. Its normal for people to move on. I just…"
"Move on?" I cut him off, I couldn't believe him. "Are you kidding me? Come on, all day that's all we talked about, was how I didn't move on. And just because Jacob comes here and tells you that he kissed me, against my own will I might add. You all of a sudden think I moved on? What the he…" the next thing I knew his cold, gentle lips were on mine. His arms around my waist pulling me in closer. I could have sworn I heard A growl come from somewhere near the house. And then I was sure of it when I felt Edwards lips turn into a grin.
I couldn't hold it in anymore. I wrapped my arms around his neck. Pulling him closer, as close as I could get. Knotting my fingers in his hair. This wasn't something he allowed but at the moment I was glad he didn't care.
"That was all I needed to hear, to know he initiated it." he whispered in my ear as he pulled away. I smiled up at him. "So I don't think the dog is to happy with what he just saw."
I sighed. "I wish you both would just grow up with the name calling."
"I'm sorry, Jacob." He rolled his eyes.
"Thanks." I laughed.
"We should get you back, before Charlie sends out the national guard." He joked as he lead me back down to the house. I tried to ask him what Jacob was doing to him but he put his finger over my mouth and told me later.
Charlie and Jacob were on the front porch talking. Jacob no longer held a grin. He saw what happen with Edward. He saw us kiss. Her frowned as I Edward kissed my cheek and got into his car.
"Someone will be watching you, you'll be safe." He winked. "Bella, I love you." and before I could respond he was driving off around the corner.
I sighed and turned around to face Charlie and Jacob.
"What the hell was that Bella?" Charlie was angry. But he looked confused.
"What the hell was what Dad?" I asked, annoyed.
"Bella." He said sternly. "With Edward. What was that? What, are you two? I mean he left you Bella."
"It's none of your business dad, and no were not back together, officially. Yet!." I screamed as I stormed past them into the house. I was about to walk up the stairs when Jacob grabbed my arm.
"We need to talk Bella." He pulled me back out side. I waited for Charlie to object to yell tell me to get back in the house. But both me and Jacob knew he wouldn't, he liked Jake. More than Edward.
Twice that day I was at the edge of the woods near my house.
I sighed, not wanting to talk to Jacob. There was nothing to talk about. He kissed me, end of story. It meant nothing and never will. Edward was back, hopefully he wanted to talk about that. I had to talk to him for Carlisle anyway.
"Bella." His voice was low, uneasy.
"Hmm?"
"You know what we need to talk about." He grinned at me.
"What Jake? What do we need to talk about?"
"You know what. Although now there's more to talk about." He frowned as he looked back at the house. And then into the woods. Like he was searching for something, someone.
"What Jacob. I don't want to be out here all night. So can we please what ever this is over with?" I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms. I refused to meet his gaze. So I looked back at the house.
"Bella, we never got a chance to talk about earlier. And the, I mean, the kiss."
"What about it? Is that your way of trying to apologize?"
"What?" he snapped. "Apologize? For what?"
"Kissing me!" I turned around to face him.
"I would never apologize for that. And you kissed me back."
I fought back a laugh. "Are you serious? I didn't kiss you back! I stood there, I was in shock! I couldn't believe you kissed me!" I was shouting.
"Call it what you want, but I know what I felt. And I know you felt it to."
"Jacob." My anger slowly faded into sadness, I was going to break his heart. I loved him. Yes. But it would never be like I loved Edward. He would never be Edward. "it's not like that. I didn't, I didn't feel anything. It wasn't, I'm sorry."
"Stop denying it Bella. You felt something. I love you, and you love me. There's no reason to pretend."
"Jacob. I do love you. But not like that. I love Edward."
"He left before, he'll do it again. Bella don't be stupid. You kissed me back. You felt something!"
"You don't understand, you don't know the whole story! He wont leave again!" I was shouting again. "And Jacob I didn't feel anything. You saw when Edward kissed me. That, that was something! When I kissed you, here was nothing!" how dare he bring up last year. How dare he, he didn't know anything. He didn't know the whole story. I looked up and saw agony in his face. And I realized what I said, had hit him low. "I'm sorry Jake. I love you, I always will. But it wont ever be enough." I frowned as looked to the ground. For a long while all was silent except the sounds of the woods.
"Are, they. Is he back?"
"You saw him didn't you?"
"Well yea, but is he back, for good?" He was hesitant to hear my answer.
"Yes they all are!" I snapped, Edward wouldn't leave me again.
"Ok. This changes things, we have to stick to the treaty, and the boundary line. We cant protect you all the time now." he changed the subject. He had been defeated. I could stills see the sadness in his eyes. But at the same time I was annoyed.
"Uh I don't need protection! I am not a baby. I don't need a baby sitter!" I shouted why did everyone think I needed watching?
"I never said you did, its just safer. I don't want anything to happen to you. And with Victoria out there. The more people keeping an eye out for you the better."
"Speaking of that." It was a better time than any to ask him what Carlisle wanted. "Have you guys picked up anything or seen anything from her? Carlisle wanted me to ask you. Because they haven't sensed or smelled her on there side."
"No, not for a week or so. but it will be more difficult now. We cant pass the line again. If she goes over we have to let her now. We cant go onto there land anymore."
"Ok." and then it hit me. The stupid treaty. The stupid boundary line. Why would they need it. They can life it. Make it easier on themselves. "What if you talk to same and I'm sure Carlisle will agree to it. But what if we life the boundary line." I saw his face drop, he started to glare. "At least for now. Until I mean it would be easier not having to worry about going over into some one else's land. wouldn't it?"
"It would, but Sam would never go for it."
"Well Sam is an idiot!" I frowned why worry about 2 things, when you can eliminate one. It made no sense. It would be easy without having to worry all the time about where a stupid invisible line is.
"Bella, seriously there vampires, we cant trust them, any of them. There all blood thirsty parasites. Who feed off of humans!"
"And you're an easily angered werewolf who if gets to upset can lash out and anyone no matter who they are with out warning and permanently scare them if not kill them!" Jacob cringed at my words, they were harsh, but I was upset, why couldn't they just play nice. Why couldn't they just get along. It was simple neither one wanted to cause the other any harm but yet they call each other names like there five years old.
"I, Bella, I would never hurt you."
"I never said you would, but you could! And they are not ALL blood thirsty human drinkers! They drink animals Jacob, they don't want to cause any harm. Just like you guys don't. but what ever. Act like 5 year olds. What does it matter to me. While you guys are calling each other names. Victoria will find an opening and BAM. Good bye Bella." I was ranting now, I started walking back to the house. I was done talking.
"Bella, don't even joke about that, we wouldn't let her get to you. Ever!" He growled.
"I'm tired Jake, I'm going inside. I'll see you later." I said as I got to my porch.
"Bella, are you." He couldn't finish.
"Yes Jacob, I'm back with Edward. Sort of."
"What does, what exactly does that mean?"
"Were working on it. I love in Jacob that's all that matters. But I want to be able to trust him. I do trust him, but I, I'm scared." I decided honesty would be better than a lie.
"You can always trust me." He stated as he kissed my cheek and walked toward his car.
A/N: please review. tell me what ya think. what ya like what ya dont like. what you want to see happen, what you think is going to happen ect. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING. lemme kno!! please and thank ya.. hope your enjoying so far.