Chapter 9

Edward's POV

"Do you blame me?"

Charlie turned around and asked, "Blame you for what?"

"Do you blame me for not saving mom?"

In Charlie's thoughts, I see different images of his late ex-wife but there was one image that caused me to pause in my spot. It was Bella in a black dress, sitting down as a priest was speaking, holding a little black book, and there were people around her. That was when I realized it was the day of a funeral and Bella's face was emotionless, except for her sad brown eyes. They were filled with tragedy and disappointment. I see that in the mirror every day.

"No. No, I do not –I will never blame you, Isabella." Charlie said and grabbed her by the shoulders. "You are my daughter. I know Renee and she would rather die than lose you all over again. And I know Phil will feel the same way about you. You fought that night, remember? You fought so hard, Bells. I will never blame you because you are my daughter and I love you."

Bella smiled sadly at her father and I noticed she was holding back her tears. "I don't think I ever heard you say that to me. Or maybe you did but I wasn't listening."

Charlie chuckled as he patted her shoulder carefully and stopped for a moment when he got to the door. "When you stop fighting, you stop living. So Bells whatever fight you are in right now, you have to fight like hell until you win. Which means you cannot give up."

"I never planned to, Dad."

"That's my girl."

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

Through Charlie's eyes, Bella's lip turned into a big smile. A happy smile. "I love you too."

I waited until Charlie left the room and went to his own room that I hid away from the shadows as Bella turned off her lights and got underneath her covers. She sighed loudly as she lay on her back, staring at the ceiling above her. She was mumbling something and I realized she was counting. Counting what? Sheep? But it seems to be working for Bella because her eyes were fluttering shut and soon, I could hear her heartbeat and breathing in the same rhyme.

Did I dare go closer?

Her intoxicating smell was…powerful and the monster inside of me wanted to grab her by the shoulders and drink her dry but I could not do that. I cannot do that to my family, Chief Swan, or to Bella herself. My feet took me closer to the sleeping beauty and inhaled her scent, trying to control the monster in me. "Edward," my eyes widen, hearing my name but realized that Bella's eyes were still closed.

She is dreaming….of me.

I do not know if that is a good thing or a bad thing.

And I wanted it to be a good thing.

"Edward…run, get away." She whispered as her head turned a bit. "No…Xander help...mom…no…I won't go ba–NO!" Bella screamed as I ran back to my hiding spot as she sat straight up, gasping for air. Then, something unexpected happens next she began to cry and pulled the covers back, crying on the side of her pillow.

Something new rose up in me and it burned in my chest until I felt like I could not draw another breath. It aches so dreadfully that I ran out of the room, not bothering to close the window, and ran back to my room, not wanting to explain to my family where I have gone. A part of me wanted to go back and feel that ache again and make Bella's sorrows go away but another part of me was wishing I had never returned to Forks. This human was causing my insides to turn and trouble for me. I closed my eyes and exhaled, the burning sensation gone and I felt like I could breathe again.

Alice walked inside my room unannounced and sat down on the floor, looking through my music collection. "So why were you in Bella's bedroom, Edward?"

"It does not surprise me that you saw me," I said.

"But you didn't answer my question."

"I do not know Alice. I can't…there is something about her –something that I cannot put my finger on…she is different." I tried to explain, remembering how she spoke to her father and the nightmares she received. "What do you see in her future?"

Alice shrugged, "After you left her room, it turned into a blur. It is either Bella changing her own future or someone is going to change for her."

"Someone like who?"

Alice shrugged once more, "Whoever it is I do not think it is not at Bella's best interest. Let's see her tomorrow!"

"Why?"

"Don't you want to ask her how she is feeling?"

"Yes but at school."

"No tomorrow. The weekend is too long." Alice said and I nodded my head, not really in a mood to have another small argument with Alice.

I kept myself occupied throughout the night, listening to music and reading old novels including Pride and Prejudice, wondering what makes it Bella smile the way she did. I do not see it. Both Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth are incredibly intelligent but yet, stubborn for their own wellbeing. I have read as human and many times as a vampire but what is it that makes Bella smile?

"Occupied in observing Mr. Bingley's attention to her sister, Elizabeth was far from suspecting that she was herself becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of his friend. Mr. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty; he had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, he looked at her only to criticize. But no sooner had he made it clear to himself and his friends that she hardly had a good feature in her face than he began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying."

"You do realize you are reading aloud, don't you?" Jasper's voice chuckled, interrupting my reading. "I thought you hated the book."

"I don't hate it…I find it…indifferent." I said, putting the book back to its shelf.

"Alice told me that you went to see her. Did you control yourself?"

"Yes but for a moment, I wanted to take her right there to feel her blood in my mouth," I told him. Out of all of my siblings, Jasper was easier to talk to not only because he has powers but because he does not judge me so quickly. "But I fought it and surprisingly, I heard her say my name in her dream. What am I feeling, Jasper? What is this aching feeling?"

Jasper chuckled, "I do not know because your emotions all over the place but perhaps, Alice was right before. You do like her and maybe –just maybe falling in love with her."

Love?

"She is human," I said. "It won't work out."

"How do you know that when you won't even try?"

"It's not like riding a bicycle, Jasper." I snarled at him. "She is human and I'm a vampire."

"You cannot keep using that excuse. What if she wasn't human? What if she was something else? What would you do, Edward?"

"…I might consider it." I said after some thought and smiled. "As long as she isn't some mutt."

The rest of the night, I stayed in my room trying to figure out how to complete my next piece of music but I was stuck as usually for the past decade. I will probably never finish it. Just then, Alice barged into my room saying we should visit Bella right now and I looked at the clock to see it was only nine in the morning. Would she even be up this early? But unfortunately, all of us are going to see Bella except for Carlisle and Esme. I allowed Jasper and Alice to be in my car while Emmett and Rosalie drove Emmett's Jeep.

What am I supposed to say to Bella when she sees us at her front door? Hello, Bella yes I watched you fall asleep last night and couldn't help but notice that you were crying. How are you? That would be eventful conservation throughout the evening. When we arrived, I could hear her heartbeat in her room and I wanted to know what she is doing. Before I knew it, we stood on her porch as Alice touched the doorbell and we waited. Bella's shocking face was the first thing I saw and she looks beautiful.

"We wanted to see how you were," Alice answered Bella's question before I could. "Edward told us about last night?"

Her brown eyes turned to me with confusion and a…spark of amusement. "And what did your dear brother tell you?"

"Can we come in or not? It's raining." Rosalie yelled, annoyed.

"Manners, Rosalie," I growled in a tone that a human could not hear.

The living room was simple with a couch and a chair with a big screen television on the wall. What caught my eyes were the photos of a young Bella with her mother and father. But more were photos of Bella as a toddler. My eyes caught one of a newspaper clipping of when she was found or more like she found her parents.

"So I'm getting the feeling all of you didn't come over here to see how I was."

"But we are," Alice said. "I can't imagine going through something like that and not being scared."

She snorted out of amusement and disgust, "A couple of drunks won't scare me that easily. I have been through worse."

For some reason that angered me. She did not even seem upset at all last night and now, she acts like everything that happened to her in the past was some sort of joke. How could Bella not feel that tiny emotion of fear? Then, Alice opened her huge mouth by inviting Bella to sleepover at our house. We didn't even talk about this and Alice asked Bella without any of our consent.

"What do you do at a sleepover?" She asked.

"That is so sad. She has never been at a sleepover." Alice thought.

What surprised me was Bella's answer after Alice explained to her what they would do at a sleepover. "Sorry but not interested."

"But you've never been to one."

"And not planning to. Thank you for asking, Alice but…I think it's strange that I am the only person you guys talk to let alone give rides to and inviting to a sleepover at your house." She reminded us and I could not help but smile. Bella is smart. "I'm sorry but I cannot go."

Alice gave her a sad look, almost similar to a lost puppy. "Are you sure? This sleepover won't make you feel so lonely anymore and we can –"

"Wait! Stop and rewind –what did you just say?" she asked and turned to glare at me. It was worse than Rosalie's glare at times, which is not a good thing.

"She is angry at you, brother." Jasper chuckled.

"No, I would never have noticed, Jasper. Thank you." I snarled in a low tone.

"You told your family about our conservation? No, do not speak. I do not want to hear it. Do you desperately want to know why I do not have friends? It is because I do not trust people. The only person I can trust is me! Now get out of my house."

"Bella –"

"Get…out!" She said slowly, through my clench teeth, opening the door wide open for us. Her heart was beating like a drum out of anger and her face turned red. She looked enchanting but she did not look my way as she slammed the door in front of my face. "Ugh! The nerve of him…."

"Alice –"

"I'm sorry I know I should have not mentioned that part but she said no!" Alice pouted.

"The only person I can trust is me!"

I sighed, sadly, as I went back to the car. Bella really is stubborn and if I thought she had walls before, she now has bricks because of Alice's big mouth.

Unknown POV

I followed the crowd of people that will lead me to the misty air outside. I grabbed a cab and got inside with my one luggage in hand. "Where to, sir?"

"Port Angeles."

"Why all the way over there?"

"I guess you can say I am looking for an old acquaintance of mine," I told the taxi driver and pulled out a file with the numbers on top: X45.

Let's see how my old student is doing in her new home.

A/N: Comment please!