Chapter 10: Sea Snake

Impel Down: Courtyard

Acheron Killgore strolled right on up to the double doors he had rammed through on the way into Impel Down, dragging Ace by the scruff of the neck, and essentially dragging Sadi-chan with his other arm. The crazy blonde had practically hung there since the epic bloodbath that occurred in the office of the former warden of the prison, the now decapitated Magellan. Apparently, and this went along with the symphony of sounds that the psycho had made, so much blood and pain being unleashed around her had been too much. Sadi-chan had practically climaxed into unconsciousness just by being there.

Speaking of the pink clothed super-sadist, he lifted his arm high enough so Sadi-chan's heeled feet were actually flat on the ground. "Hey, wake up toots, time to part ways."

The blond empathetically squeezed his arm tighter, whining loudly. "Never, mmmm, you're way too good to let go of!"

He sighed internally, until a particularly Evil idea popped into his head and brought a malevolent smile to his hidden face. "Tell you what, Sadi, how'd you like to get to beat the snot out of an entire Empire?"

The blonde sprang up, still maintaining a death grip on his arm, smiling gleefully and practically bouncing. "Really? Where, what Empire?"

He dropped Ace's unconscious body to the floor and waved his arm to construct a portal to the Empire Heartlands. "You want to stick around, fine. I'd just like you to beat the peasants around for a little while so I can talk to the other pirates." With barely time for him to speak another word, Sadi-chan finally released his poor limb and planted a messy kiss high on his right cheek before essentially diving through the opened portal. He shouted after the psycho. "Just try to leave most of them alive!"

Disappearing rapidly into the hazy distance, Sadi-chan simply threw him a backwards wave as her cloud of blonde hair vanished over a hill. After a second of idle deliberation he stuck his head through the portal as well, curious as to how quickly the half-subdued dominatrix would get to work on his annoying subjects. He didn't wait long until the first scream was heard, along with a smack sound loud enough that it reverberated through the hills and inside his ears. Considering that he had felt the end of Sadi-chan's whip arm personally, he almost felt a twinge of sympathy for his unfortunate subjugated subjects, but then he remembered how much bother he had gone through to conquer the blasted place and his sympathy evaporated like a drop of water of a blade fresh out of the forge.

He withdrew his head and closed the portal with a snap of his fingers. "Enjoy yourself, you crazy, sexy, bitch." A loud groan drew his attention down to the writhing body of Ace. "Oh shut up you, I knocked you out so I wouldn't have to listen to you bitch, and I'll do it again." True to his word, he knelt down and brought his knuckles down hard on the same spot he had used before, a spot dead center of the young boy's head.

Once again, he leaned down and picked Ace up by the scruff of his neck, noticing as he did so that the kid looked disturbingly similar to that Luffy kid that he'd killed so long ago. Ultimately though, he decided it was a coincidence and kicked open the door into the brighter light of the evening sun, something he was quite relieved to see after spending so much time in the dingy prison behind him now.

Kicking open the door, he was presented with the pair of both Clayton and Whitebeard, whom he had at length learned was actually named Edward Newgate. It was a piece of knowledge he planned to use today, primarily because he felt using "Edward" would annoy the elder pirate.

He felt himself smiling as he roughly tossed Ace's slumbering form forward to the pair. "Clayton, Eddy, I think you'll find that your precious Ace is in near perfect health, aside from being out cold that is."

Whitebeard raised an eyebrow, but did not overtly react otherwise. "Thank you; our ships have sunk every World Government vessel within sight with the aid of your friend Shirahoshi. Ace still being alive was almost too much to hope for."

He shrugged, still grinning at the relatively petty reward of irritating the old pirate. "Well, I delivered my end of the bargain as I said I would. The better question is, are you going to hold up your end and devote the fleet to bringing down the Government that imprisoned the kid in the first place?"

Newgate nodded again, irritation much less apparent now that Ace was in the clear. "Aye, I'm a man of my word. We'll mass our ships here until you give the order to sail on Mariejois."

His smile grew, enough that his teeth could have started glittering in the light if his face weren't hidden inside his helmet. "Sweet, any last minute advice?"

Clayton answered that question. "Well, you could appeal to the Shichibukai and try to get us an easier route into the blasted place. Each of them can just waltz in without so much as a raised eyebrow. Heck you could even pose as if they had captured you and were bringing you in to face what passes for justice in their idiotic world."

He suppressed a yawn. "And why would I want to bother with that crap when I can just walk right on in anyway?"

The metal pirate scowled at him. "For one thing, it'll keep the rest of us from dying by the shipload."

He gave a wanton shrug. "I'll tell you, I honestly did not consider that. Next?"

Clayton's scowl morphed into a sardonic smirk. "Oh this next one is probably the only reason I can get you to care about. The Shichibukai Boa Hancock is widely considered to be the most beautiful woman in the entire world."

Considering his boundless libido, the grey-haired man was probably right, but he wasn't about to give up the argument that easily. "Well that's a pretty subjective title isn't it? After all what is considered beautiful by one person could be seen as horrifically ugly by another."

The former captain's eyebrows fell, turning his expression into a dark glare. "Trust me; I've seen your taste in wenches. I swear you'll find her just as fetching as any other pirate on the sea."

He chuckled, a Cheshire-cat smile spreading across his face. "Well when you put it that way, I guess we can spare the time. It'll give you some time to consolidate the ships you've still got, take care of the wounded, etcetera." He gestured out to the Grim Angel. "You have a dinghy to get us back out to the ship? Or are we going to have to use that fucking man-cannon again?"

Clayton took a few steps and lightly kicked a rough dinghy. "Oh, you'll get to use it again I assure you. It's probably the only way you're going to find your way to the snake lady, though I'll tell you why later."

He took the unspoken invitation and crossed the courtyard to the little boat. "By 'snake lady' I really hope you aren't implying that she has scales, because if you are we can abandon this little venture right now."

The veteran pirate pushed the dinghy off and hopped in before it cleared the small pier. "No no, she's just the Kuja empress, and all of those people have snakes." After a brief pause Clayton added, "Mind your head."

Like a class idiot he turned around and looked instead of simply doing as he was told and ducking. This action led to him getting whacked in the face by the swinging yardarm of the tiny sail, right on the nose, and falling flat on his back in the tiny boat.

Clayton understandably started to chuckle at this. "Heh, what happened to that fancy intangible trick you've been abusing since you picked up that fruit of yours? Did you run out of juice all of a sudden?"

He sat up and waved his arm through the little mast to prove otherwise. "Nah, happened down in Impel Down too, no reason that I can figure out."

The pilot of the dinghy trained a canny eye upon him. "One that you can't figure out, or one that you just don't want to share?"

He fell silent for a long while as the dinghy kept on out to sea. This presented a bit of a problem for him, because if his creeping suspicion were correct he might just reveal a weakness in himself that other people, namely the gray haired pirate that was sailing him back out to the ship that formerly belonged to the very same person, would attempt to capitalize on. That latent resentment, which he knew to be there, was the exact reason he hesitated to share his thoughts. Although how someone would actually act upon his assumption was another mindboggling issue entirely.

He lied, deciding to ultimately err on the side of caution. "As I said, no reason that I can figure out."

Clayton nodded his head slowly, voice conveying his complete lack of belief. "Uh huh, sure there isn't."

Soul Calibur whispered in his head, a truly useless gesture if he thought about it. "So, do you actually have an idea why that psycho hit you? Because, I think our pirate friend thinks that you do."

He responded in the same manner, though not bothering to lower the volume of his internal voice. "Don't know if you were paying attention before things got to the sticky, kinky part of that encounter, but Sadi-chan specifically said she wasn't trying to whip me to cause me harm. She was trying to get off on my pain."

There was a silence as he climbed up onto the deck of the Grim Angel before the sword spoke again. "Um, I don't get it. What's the difference?"

He wandered off towards the stern, assuming that Clayton would automatically start turning the ship towards the "Kuja" women. "The difference, at least so far as I'm thinking about it, is that she had no truly hostile intentions towards me. Just like that yardarm on the dinghy, it is incapable of malice towards anything or anyone." He paused for a brief moment as one of the new deckhands passed by despite the fact that it was impossible for them to overhear. "I know it's a pretty damn flimsy idea, and an insanely illogical loophole to guard against, but that's the best I can come up with."

He half expected the crystal sword to come back with a snarky comment as she often did, but nothing was forthcoming. It was getting to the point now that he was starting to feel just a little bit angry about the silence. As utterly infuriating as Soul Calibur's commentary and jabs could be it was a reminder that he was never alone no matter where he was standing. Even if his home was only a step away with the use of his devil fruit, it was comforting to have that extra set of eyes, or rather, eye watching out for him. He glanced back at the glowing eye of the sword, noting that the glow was both a much deeper shade of blue than usual and the light itself was fairly dim. What that meant he hadn't the foggiest idea. With a tired sigh he turned around and took a seat on the aft railing of the Grim Angel, legs dangling off over the sea as the ship sailed off to a journey he was starting to regret already.

Grim Angel: Amazon Lily

Acheron leveled a silent and steady glare at the island off in the distance, just at the outer edge of the man-cannon's range, or so Clayton claimed. He was inclined to mentally subtract a few dozen yards just to account for the former captain's self-promotion. He knew, because it was exactly what he would have done if showing off a favorite toy of his.

Funny story though, apparently men were not allowed on the island, period, hence why he was going to get shot onto the island in the dark. This of course made his job a bit harder, considering that most people who snuck around in the dark were assassins or thieves. Boa Hancock might well be inclined to believe him to be one of those two when he arrived, but he hoped he could work his way past that. More so if Clayton's extremely vague descriptions of the woman were accurate. One thing bothered him though, he had no idea where he was going when he touched down on the faraway sands. He was going to have to run the gauntlet of stealth essentially blind. There were certain assumptions he could make, like how he should focus on the large buildings if he wanted to find this Snake Princess, but otherwise he could get caught out at the slightest slip up.

Clayton sauntered up to him, face illuminated by the light of a small torch. "You ready for this? Because the clouds are covering the moon and there's enough ambient noise out there to muffle the blast of the man-cannon, can't get a better time."

He shifted the target of his glare from the island to the former captain. "I'm ready, but I think you're enjoying shooting me out of that accursed thing far too much."

The pirate's face twisted into a sneer. "I just might, since I heard you screaming when I shot you out of it before. And I've got to get my digs in where I can, especially since you seem set on the fast track to endless glory."

He stepped forward onto the lip of the cannon. "So nice to have your vote of confidence." With a deep breath he took one last step and dropped down inside the metal tube. "Enjoy it while it lasts you son of a bitch."

The light snick of a fuse being lit was the immediate answer, before Clayton shot back. "Took the words right out of my mouth." A scant second before the blast was too come, there was one last snipe. "Speaking of mothers, you pegged mine perfectly."

As he had braced himself this time, he maintained as much dignity as one could being shot out of a cannon, chiefly, the dignity of not screaming like a little girl. Still though, he was dizzied beyond rational belief as he flew up, faster this time for some reason, through the non-black of the night. As he had predicted though, he started to fall well before he would land on the sand. This time though, he knew what to do and opened a portal just before he would hit the water. Shooting up again, at a much flatter angle, he twisted himself in the air so as to sail feet first and struck the sands to skid to a halt eventually when he struck a large rock. Fortunately for him, through some stroke of good fortune, he found himself in a dark thicket as a pair of women passed by, presumably guards.

He stole away from the cover of the thicket, silently cursing his glowing eyes for the first time in his entire life. A normal person could stand in a pool of absolute black and be completely hidden, while he would be given away by the shining amber gems set in his face. His only recourse was to shield his eyes with his hand, a stunning reversal of what was normal. People usually shielded their eyes with darkness to keep light out, now he was shrouding his eyes to keep light out of the darkness. Worse still, Soul Calibur's glowing eye on his back would be visible from huge distances away. It was only now that he considered the recent dimness as an asset.

As if that thought were a trigger, Soul Calibur suddenly screamed aloud at the top of her figurative lungs. "I figured it out! I finally think I've figured it-"

He ripped the crystal blade off of his back, whispering and shouting at the sword simultaneously. "What the hell are you doing? Are you trying to fuck everything up around here, because so far you're doing a damn good-"

Like the first time he ever touched the sword, arcs of black lightning leapt from her eye and struck him in the center of his forehead, perfectly threading the narrow gap in his helmet.

Astral Plain: Heart of Soul Calibur

Acheron whirled about as he suddenly found himself back inside the sword when she had tried to possess him immediately upon claiming her. The crystalline area looked largely the same, though the platform he was standing on this time was completely black. He supposed that this was due to his previous efforts to "purify" the corruption of the sword. A light drew his attention out of the corner of his right eye, pulling his gaze to a figure identical to the one he had fought for dominance in every respect except that this one was not armed, at least at the moment.

He felt a snarl twist his mouth. "So, what's the big idea this time? What is so world-shattering that you felt compelled to possibly ruin the little assignment that I've picked up?"

The sexually ambiguous figure spoke with the voice of his sword, with at least a shred of the fire he had come to expect and look forward to from the weapon. "Assignment? That's what you want to call this? An infiltration that you consider to be almost exclusively for the purpose of slinging another woman to your bed." Soul Calibur's voice petered out, but she still clearly had something to say. "I, I rehearsed this so many times and I thought this would be easier."

His mouth hung open for a few seconds, at least perceived seconds, before he responded. "Ah, what the hell? That sounds almost word for word like something out of one of those crappy romance books I read from the Empire." His own commentary brought him to a jolting conclusion. "Wait a second, you aren't trying to, you're not about to say the three words are you?"

The aspect of Soul Calibur wrung its claw-like hands. "I think so, at least that's what I'm trying to do. Just, every time you try to explain something to me, you always give it your best but stop because 'I lack the proper parts' to understand. It's probably a side effect of being bonded to you, but I feel closer to being fully alive with you than I ever have before in my thousand year history That and you putting so much on the line to do something specifically for my benefit." The piece of moving crystal started to move closer to him. "You've put up with me trying to kill you, far more than anyone of sound mind would tolerate. You stuck with me, made it a priority of yours to fix me."

He held up both of his hands to keep the walking figure from actually touching him. "Whoa now, hold on here. You know I had a stake invested in each of those things right?"

Soul Calibur leaned closer anyway, hands intertwined in a pose that reminded him disturbingly of a stalker. "I don't care. Besides, you came back for me after I tried to kill you, why would you do that unless you cared at least a little."

He unconsciously took a step backwards. "Uh, ok I'll grant that I did miss the sound of your voice." Realizing he had accidentally encouraged the female weapon he recanted. "But, seriously, even if I did reciprocate it's not exactly like we could do anything about it. You're a female sword, I'm a male man. Some stuff just doesn't work, end of story."

The crystal figure straightened as her entire form flushed pink briefly, one clawed hand held up in a surprisingly human gesture that asked for a little more time. "And that's what I figured out. I thought about how we could make it work."

With a sound like glass being ground by a boot heel Soul Calibur's aspect started to change, shrinking vertically first until she matched him for height. The rough, sharp edges started to soften, some expanding but the vast majority of them seemed to be blown away in a tide of dust, only there was no wind. And then there was the face, somehow, possibly drawing on something deep in her thousand year memory, Soul Calibur conjured up the image of a sharp-featured goddess, with a chin so well formed someone could poke an eye out on it. Hair spontaneously sprouted from a head that now looked undeniably human, only this hair was ebon black, seemingly studded with diamonds, and cascaded in a gossamer cloud all the way to the top of her now perfectly formed thighs. And all of this happened in the time it took for him to draw only two breaths, leaving him utterly incapable of vocalizing a single word.

The sword, woman, both, seemed to take his silence as something else and shifted her "naked" form uneasily. "You, don't like it?"

Quite the contrary, he was speechless because of exactly how much he did like "it" as Soul Calibur put it. He'd been with some exotic women before, like the mermaid Yvette or Queen Fay while she was a ghost, but what was standing in front of him took the cake, and probably would forevermore. Considering their minds were so connected, he had to wonder slightly just how much of this originated from his subconscious, and how much actually came from her. Heck, his nymphomania might have been subconsciously infecting his sword from day one. This was bizarre to say the least, hell he didn't think there was even a term invented that he could classify an act like this under, but getting here was probably his fault in the first place.

He spoke his last thought aloud, not sure if Soul Calibur could read his mind while he was in here. "I know I'm a chick magnet, but damn." He scratched the back of his neck with his left hand, mentally resigning himself to the inevitable end of this encounter. "I don't know, you sure we have the time to spare? After all you did make a pretty big fuss before dragging me in here."

The avatar of Soul Calibur took a step forward, grabbed both of his shoulders, and wrapped one of her long, shapely legs around his waist. "Remember what I told you, everything that happens here is only a flicker of thought on the outside. So we have all the time you could possibly need."

Amazon Lily:

Acheron felt his mind come back to his body, and violently shook his head to reorient himself on the present. Remembering what he had been doing before the last hour or so in his head was almost a chore until he heard the violent cries of various guards that were zeroing in on his position, on the bright glow emanating from Soul Calibur's eye, which was now pulsing a deep, contented pink.

Slinging his other half across his back again he let reflex take over, and dove through the wall of the nearest hut, hoping that it was going to be empty. Upon his discovery that the building was in fact empty he took a brief moment to collect himself, remembering that he was here seeking Boa Hancock, for the stated purpose of getting her aid in sacking Mariejois. Up until a few seconds ago though, he had also been heavily leaning on the notion of bedding the Shichibukai too, whether he would still want to or not was a question now.

Soul Calibur whispered in his head, using a husky, seductive tone that would boil the blood of any man ever alive. "It doesn't matter to me anymore, but you should probably at least meet her and try to get some help for our pirate friends. We did go through the bother of being shot out of Clayton's man-cannon after all, it would be a shame to let an opportunity slip by."

He sidled over to the door on the small hut, cracking it open and peering out into the night while answering in kind. "I couldn't help but notice that you are referring to the two of us as 'we' now instead of drawing a line. Got a special reason for that beyond your brilliant epiphany?"

His partner answered as he dashed from the cover of one building to another, occasionally utilizing short jumps through portals. "Well, I'm pretty sure that we are going to be stuck with each other for the rest of your life. Which, considering your parentage, should be at least a few thousand years at worst. And I know it'll be that long because I refuse to let you die so long as there is something I can do about it." A mere heartbeat later she added, "And don't you dare bring up that incident where you almost drowned. I'd still like to make Clayton suffer for at least ninety years before allowing him to die, just for him being so stupid."

He came to another realization as his body essentially acted on its own, threading between the sparse guards becoming almost reflex. "Wait a second, on the ship, you were crying, or at least doing your equivalent of it."

Soul Calibur's eye flashed red as he reached the steps of the largest building. "I asked you to not bring that up!"

He attempted to mollify the crystalline woman as he knocked one last guard over the head to clear his way to the huge double doors on the palace. "Ok easy now, just me speaking without thinking about it, don't get your shiny panties in a bunch."

A sniff of derision preceded his partner's next words. "Fine, a fresh topic then. I guess that you should know that I can mold my appearance in the real world almost as much as I can in our little dream world. Nothing so dramatic, but I could shift into a different weapon type if you prefer."

He paused as he considered this, dividing his attention between brainstorming and admiring the palace in front of him, a huge white and red structure covered with decorative wooden arches and symmetrical kanji symbols at least on the side he could see. It was really a massive difference from the tiny mud huts he had been weaving through to get this far. On to Soul Calibur's offer though, it wasn't like her current shape were hindering his combat at all. He'd been using oversized weapons from day one; swords, axes, particularly maces. But as familiar as he was with the simple "hit it until it dies" mentality of a mace he felt that he would be sacrificing so much of her potential if he went with that familiar model.

He took a step forward and hopped through the, still closed, double doors before answering Soul Calibur's query. "No thanks, at least till the end of this little adventure. After that we can experiment all you like."

The crystal being let out a little giggle as he wandered the empty, heavily oriental, halls. "Experiment huh? Well, aren't we getting frisky already."

He paused long enough to look back at Soul Calibur's glowing eye. "You know, for once I actually didn't mean anything dirty by that." He chuckled lightly as he resumed his forward march, hanging a left around the next corner. "Damn, I really am having an effect on you."

His partner echoed his laughter as he entered a large audience chamber. "Well by all means continue to do so, I like it very much."

As he advanced towards a likely target, another set of double doors adorned with a very large golden lock, a heavy thump sounded off from close by, causing him to reflexively drop back into a ready stance with one hand hovering over Soul Calibur's glittering hilt. Ahead, to either side of the double doors emerged two women. Correction, he told himself, two extremely hideous women. The one on the left looked relatively ok from the neck down, but her face was grotesquely flat and a long, serpentine tongue swished through the air in front of her. The one on the right wasn't even pretty excluding a certain part, she looked like an egg with a tuft of fluffy blonde hair on top, and a very fat egg at that.

The Egg-woman leveled a long hafted axe at him. "How dare you invade the sanctity of Amazon Lily?"

He figured that since he was caught out in the open he could afford to mouth off. "Well, I dare because I am the Overlord, and violating sanctity is pretty much part of the job description. Now move out of my way, I have a self-arranged appointment with Boa Hancock."

Two steps forward and he found his way blocked by the extended halberd of the egg-women, and he hesitated just long enough for the green-haired one to start speaking. "Not so long as there is breath in our bodies."

Just as he was about to deliver some kind of smarmy remark about knocking the breath out of their ugly bodies with two moves, he was rudely interrupted by both of the women erupting upwards and outwards in a mass of scales, fangs, and snarled hair. On his part, he roared with surprise and unceremoniously fell backwards down the three or so steps that led to the double doors. In the space of mere seconds the pair of women had changed into massive serpents that filled the otherwise huge space with long, bulky coils. Somehow, even the weapon that the egg-woman held had expanded with her, gripped now by arms that could have physically enveloped him entirely.

Propping his supine form up with his arms he understandably shouted at both of the serpents. "How the fuck did you do that?"

The one with blonde hair spoke, looming over him with the axe held high. "Haven't you heard of the curse of the gorgon sisters? This is our gift, our curse for killing the gorgon."

The blade thundered down with planet-cracking force, but he was already gone, even though he knew full well that the axe would probably sail right through him without leaving a mark of any kind. It was the "probably" part that drove him to physically evade rather than rely on his devil fruit. It bothered him then, that the pair had been able to turn into giant snakes in the first place, apart from the very obvious fact that they were both trying to kill him. No one up until now had mentioned a single damn thing about a gorgon, and he knew what the monster was supposed to be like.

Paying the limited amount of attention he was, the axe blade crashed down into the stone mere inches in front of him, drawing out a very undignified and unmanly scream. Thus rattled, he rallied and whirled on the pair of giant serpents with a snarl contorting his face. "Ok bitches, you wanted to piss me off, well you've succeeded. Prepare yourselves for the most legendary beat down in the history of your world!"

He dove for the closest target first, the green haired snake that seemed otherwise unarmed. Basic combat logic would usually hold that he take on the one with the axe first, but following logic had never actually been his strong suit. He threw a wide, horizontal slash that should have separated the vast majority of the serpent's coils, but somehow to his eyes Soul Calibur's blade sailed right through the scaly torso without so much as a murmur. With a howl of rage and surprise he threw himself backwards to avoid the imminent counter attack.

Soul Calibur whispered in his head. "I'm not sure what you felt, but I didn't touch anything but air on that swing. Somehow, she moved out of the way."

He hissed back as he leaped left and right among the mounting debris of the floor. "And how the fuck did she do that? She's practically backed right against the wall!"

The sword giggled, clearly fully back to her old self. "Oh that's not my problem, you're the warrior remember? I'd suggest trying to surprise her though, maybe one of those fancy portal tricks you use."

The suggestion gave him an idea, quite a good one actually, and sent him rushing headlong for the green serpent again. This time though, at the last second he opened a portal in front of him and dove through it, right out of one directly behind the green serpent. It went without saying that he led this rush with the edge of Soul Calibur, and this move disemboweled his target handily, spilling a massive pile of snake entrails across the smashed stone floor.

The only opponent left, the one brandishing the massive axe, froze in apparent horror. "No, that's impossible; what have you done?"

He sprinted for the other snake's belly. "Wrong bitch, and you're going to find out exactly what I did soon enough!"

The axe fell again, but this time he leaped straight for it, Soul Calibur arcing out to meet, and then cut through, the massive blade. He continued straight upwards, burying his crystal partner in the throat of the snake before slicing it open all the way until his boots hit the floor again. The second flood of entrails brought about by this execution turned the formerly neat floor into what could easily be mistaken for the floor of a slaughterhouse, a mess of intestines, blood, oversized organs, and pieces of sheared off bone.

He smiled as he admired the damage, taking great care to wipe off every drop of blood from Soul Calibur's glittering length. "I guess my jester Quaver can now add 'Serpent Slayer' to my illustrious list of accomplishments, eh?"

He could almost swear that the sword shivered with delight as he wiped her down as he approached the now unguarded double doors. "Indeed, you killed two completely under classed warrior women who had no chance whatsoever, I'm so proud of you." The funny part was that he couldn't detect the sarcasm, if there was any.

He raised a boot and kicked the door solidly on the lock, preferring to go with the "shock and awe" approach if Boa Hancock was awake, as she should be after that considerable disturbance. The brutalized chunks of wood swung inwards, revealing an incredibly posh bedroom complete with elegant serpent motifs on the columns, on the carpet/rug he didn't know which, and on the curtains that partially obscured the shadowy figure of the woman sleeping in the massive bed.

He walked closer, lifting his right arm to sweep aside the gossamer curtain on the left side of the bed to get a better view of the so called Shichibukai. Upon ascertaining that the woman was still sound asleep, much to his amusement, he lowered the fingers on his right hand and pulled the single sheet away so he could decide for himself whether or not Boa Hancock really was "the most beautiful woman in the world." To start, her legs seemed almost abnormally long to him, extending as they did probably the full length of her torso, maybe more, until they finally ended at a set of fairly wide hips. Not that there was a real problem with any of his observations so far. Above Hancock's hips she possessed what seemed to him the absolutely narrowest waist he had ever seen on a woman, so much so that he almost thought he could encircle it with just one of his hands. And then his roving eyes fell upon the area of her chest. He felt personally that he had a good head on his shoulders, particularly when it came to matters of women, and he could not help but draw a comparison to the pair of extremely top-heavy beauties he had encountered on the Thousand Sunny. At the time he had marveled to himself about the bust lines of Nami and Nico Robin, now he had to wonder, just what in hell was in the water around here that made women grow such large breasts? Hancock's were only a few centimeters larger, in his expert eye, but still, he couldn't help but whistle softly to himself. With a last approving glance he finally moved on to the slumbering woman's face, and so ended his petty objections to her title. The silken cloud of ebon hair that framed her delicate, yet refined features were somewhat of a perfect mixture between the unrelenting cuteness of Shirahoshi and the deliberate allure of Honey Queen. The finale crowning touch was the pair of golden serpent earrings that were each about as large as one of his curled fingers, ergo, huge.

Despite his genuine admiration he felt the compulsion to poke a little fun at the woman. "Heh, all that noise and she's still asleep? Damn, she could win a sleeping contest with the dead."

Now, obviously, he had to find a way to wake her up, preferably one without souring her mood towards him, which was already going to be rather poor with him invading her home in the middle of the night. And judging by the fact that she was still asleep after an epic throw down happened just outside her door, noise obviously wasn't going to do it. He could flip the bed with one hand, but that would probably be a pretty bad move. It would be funny, but still a bad move. A brief shock of Evil Presence? No, she'd feel the touch of his mental probe and her trust would plummet to the bottom of the sea. A bucket of water? Provided he could find one that would still be pretty stupid, especially considering that the only liquid on hand was the lake of blood out in the antechamber. He ran the fingers of his right hand along his chin in thought, feeling the sharp digits of his gauntlet scraping across his ebon skin.

A spark of inspiration struck him from the unconscious action and he quickly attempted to decide upon an appropriate area on the slumbering Shichibukai for him to prod. Any erogenous areas were automatically ruled out, to his disappointment, and so was her face for that matter. Faces were private, that was one of his few rules. Hancock shifted in her sleep, grumbling unintelligible nonsense as she sprawled into a very unladylike position, one foot just over the edge of the bed on his side. He smirked, extended the sharp point of his index finger, and lightly pricked the end of Boa Hancock's big toe.

The Snake Princess shot up with a shriek, reflexively gathering the sheet around herself. "Wha- Who dares-" Hancock's eyes sought him out with impressive speed. "Who are you and how did you get in here?"

His smirk remained and he cheekily replied. "I walked through the door, I think that would be obvious. And I'm Acheron Killgore, Overlord."

The Shichbukai's gaze flickered towards the door. "What did you do to my sisters? They would never have let you in here."

Instantly, every muscle in his body froze solid as his eyes expressed his single minded horror as he realized what a terrible error he had made. Put plainly, his negotiations were now utterly screwed before they could even begin. The Snake Princess seemed to sense his immediate discomfort and lithely sprang from the bed to race out to the double doors. Even bracing himself mentally didn't prepare him for the shriek of utter rage mixed with despair that vibrated the very stone he was standing on. With a mighty wince he slowly turned towards the back of Boa Hancock, just in time for the Shichibukai to round on him with a face that was the twisted aspect of wrath.

The woman advanced towards him, red-faced and angry, picking up loose objects and throwing them at him with horrendous force. "I'll kill you, I'll kill you for what you've done!"

Not even bothering to try and talk the Shichibukai down, he spun on his heel and dove through a portal back to the Netherworld pursued by a hail of sundry objects.